Muslims, can you answer these questions?

[se_goat]

Hello. I am a student of Arabic at a major university. I have two copies of the Koran, and frequently talk with Muslims as well as non-Muslims about Islam.

Here are some good questions I have come up with.

1. In Sura 19 (Maryam) the birth of Jesus was said to occur under a palm tree. There are no palm trees in Bethlehem/Jerusalem area. It regularly recieves snow.
2. Mohammed’s Isra to Masjid al-Aqsa is impossible, seeing as there was no mosque in Jerusalem at that time.
3. Human life was said to begin with a “blood clot”. I know this one has been gone over before, but fact remains, life does not begin with a blood clot.
4. There are many, many, many wacky Hadith. There are so many that my friends and I regularly hold “Hadith Parties” in which we read the Hadith and laugh at some of its absurdities. Here are several of the funnier ones.

“Do not wear silk, for those who wear it in this life shall not wear it in the Hereafter.”

“The Angels (of Mercy) do not enter a house wherein there is a picture.”

“We, angels, do not enter a house which contains a picture or a dog.”

Umar bought a silk cloak from the market, took it to Allah’s Apostle and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Take it and adorn yourself with it during the 'Id and when the delegations visit you.” Allah’s Apostle (p.b.u.h) replied, “This dress is for those who have no share (in the Hereafter).” After a long period Allah’s Apostle (p.b.u.h) sent to Umar a cloak of silk brocade. Umar came to Allah’s Apostle (p.b.u.h) with the cloak and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! You said that this dress was for those who had no share (in the Hereafter); yet you have sent me this cloak.” Allah’s Apostle said to him, “Sell it and fulfill your needs by it.”

Allah forbade us to use silver utensils and dishes and to wear golden rings, silk (clothes), Dibaj (pure silk cloth), Qissi and Istabraq (two kinds of silk cloths).

The Prophet said, “A man saw a dog eating mud from (the severity of) thirst. So, that man took a shoe (and filled it) with water and kept on pouring the water for the dog till it quenched its thirst. So Allah approved of his deed and made him to enter Paradise.” And narrated Hamza bin 'Abdullah: My father said. “During the lifetime of Allah’s Apostle, the dogs used to urinate, and pass through the mosques (come and go), nevertheless they never used to sprinkle water on it (urine of the dog.)”

 

[se_goat]

(4)In Moslem’s Sahih, a Hadith in the section of washing after intercourse that Muhammed answered a man about washing after having sex with his wife. Aysha was sitting there listening, and Muhammed answered, I do it all the time with this (woman-Aysha) and wash right away.

(7) Moslem’s Sahih, vol. 2, hadith about the prophet start to urinate standing up, so one of his companions start to walk away but the prophet called him back to stay close.

In the book of Tayymum (Dry Ablution) of Bukhary, vol. 1 and Moslem’s Sahih vol. 1, is the story of a necklace lost by Aysha, so the prophet instructed all the Muslims with him to find the lost necklace, while he slept on Aysha’s thigh for hours, did not do his prayers or remember God, and did not tell the people what to do for ablution since they did not have water. So God decided to give the Muslims the Tayymum (Dry ablution).

God shows his leg to the believers to recognize Him.

God has a mansion in Heaven and Muhammed is permitted to enter it three times a day.
Gaber Ibn Abdullah said, "The messenger of God prohibited a man from crossing one leg over the other while lying down on his back " Moslem

Abu Hurayra said, the messenger of God said, “Do not drink while standing up, if someone forgot and did it, he should vomit what he drank.”

“The Prophet never urinated in a standing position.” Hanbel.

Abu Hurayra said, the prophet said; " God created Adam, 60 arm length high and seven arm length wide."

“If a monkey, a black dog or a woman passes infront of a praying person, his prayer is nullified.”

“On the day of Judgment, God will open His leg and show His thigh to the Prophet.”

“God will show His leg to the believers and they will fall prostrate.”

Anas Ibn Malik said, The Prophet Muhammed used to go by all his wives and have intercourse with them within one hour, day or night. and they were eleven wives.We asked ; “How can he do it?” He said, we were talking about the prophet given the sexual power of thirty men.

“Ibn Omar said the messenger of God ordered us to kill the DOGS.”

" You shall kill all black DOGS, because they are devils."

“It was mentioned at the messenger of God that a man slept the whole night (did not do his prayer). He said, this man had Satan urinated in his ears.”

" Yawning is from Satan. If you are about to yawn, you should try to stop it as much as possible. If you yawn, Satan will laugh."

“If any of you yawn, then try your best to stop yawning because Satan will enter (your mouth).”

"When someone wakes up from sleep, he/she should clean his/her nasopharynx (back of the throat), (by taking the water in the mouth, gurgle with it and bringing it through the nose) three times, because Satan spends the night in the nasopharynx (back of the throat).

“When the call for prayer is made, SATAN turns around to leave farting very loud so that he would not hear the Azan (call for prayer), When Azan is finished Satan returns back…”

"If you hear the crows of the roosters, ask God for some of His provisions, because the roosters saw an angel. And If you hear the hee-haw of the donkey, seek refuge in God from Satan, because the donkey saw the Shytan (Satan).

"I looked at Heaven and found that the majority of its dwellers are the poor, and looked at Hell and found the majority of its dwellers are the WOMEN.

"If any of you eat, then you should lick your fingers because you do not know in which one is the blessings (Baraka).

" If any of you eat, do not clean your hand until you lick it first. "

"If any of you eats, you should eat with your right hand, and drink with the right hand, because Satan eats and drinks with his left hand.

“Every newborn from the descendants of Adam is touched by Satan when born, and that is why he/she starts by crying. The only exception was Jesus and his mother.”

“On the Last Day, some Muslims will come with sins as much as the mountains, but God will forgive them for these sins and put these sins on the Jews and the Christians.”

“Every time a Muslim man dies, God puts in hell fire a Jew or a Christian.”

 

[se_goat]

Abu Qatada said the prophet said, the good dream is from God and the bad dream is from Satan. If one of you had a bad dream , you should spit on your left side and seek refuge in God from Satan.

“Abdulla Ibn Omar said the messenger of God once saw sputum on the Quibla wall , he cleaned it then came to the people and told them if you are praying do not spit to the front of you, because that is where God is, when you are praying.”

Abu Saeed AL-Khudry said the prophet once saw a sputum in the Quibla of the Masjid, he cleaned it then told us not to spit on our right side or to the front, but we should spit on the left side or under the left foot.

Abu Hurayra said; the messenger of God said; “If a fly fell in your drink, you should immerse it completely in the drink, because in one of the wings is the disease and in the other wing is the healing.”

Gaber Ibn Abdullah said the messenger of God was carrying rocks with them to the Kaaba while having his clothes on. His uncle Al Abbas suggested to him to lift his clothes up, so he did and so exposed himself. The messenger of God fell unconscious and was never seen naked again since then.

“There is healing in black cumin for all diseases except death.”

Narrated Abu Bakr bin 'Abdur-Rahman:
My father and I went to 'Aisha and she said, “I testify that Allah’s Apostle at times used to get up in the morning with an erection from sexual intercourse, not from a wet dream and then he would fast that day.” Then he went to Um Salama and she also narrated a similar thing.
Allah’s Prophet Solomon who had sixty wives, once said, “Tonight I will have sexual relation (sleep) with all my wives so that each of them will become pregnant and bring forth (a boy who will grow into) a cavalier and will fight in Allah’s Cause.” So he slept with his wives and none of them (conceived and) delivered (a child) except one who brought a half (body) boy (deformed). Allah’s Prophet said, “If Solomon had said; ‘If Allah Will,’ then each of those women would have delivered a (would-be) cavalier to fight in Allah’s Cause.” (See Hadith No. 74 A, Vol. 4).
I followed the Prophet while he was going out to answer the call of nature. He used not to look this way or that. So, when I approached near him he said to me, “Fetch for me some stones for ’ cleaning the privates parts (or said something similar), and do not bring a bone or a piece of dung.” So I brought the stones in the corner of my garment and placed them by his side and I then went away from him. When he finished (from answering the call of nature) he used, them .
Allah’s Apostle said, “Whenever anyone of you drinks water, he should not breathe in the drinking utensil, and whenever anyone of you goes to a lavatory, he should neither touch his penis nor clean his private parts with his right hand.”
I asked 'Uthman bin 'Affan about a person who engaged in intercourse but did no discharge. 'Uthman replied, “He should perform ablution like the one for ar ordinary prayer but he must wash his penis.” 'Uthman added, “I heard it from Allah’s Apostle.” I asked 'Ali Az-Zubair, Talha and Ubai bin Ka’b about it and they, too, gave the same reply. (This order was cancelled later on and taking a bath became necessary for such cases).
A man said: Apostle of Allah, I have a slave-girl and I withdraw the penis from her (while having intercourse), and I dislike that she becomes pregnant. I intend (by intercourse) what the men intend by it.

 

[se_goat]

The Jews say that withdrawing the penis (azl) is burying the living girls on a small scale. He (the Prophet) said: The Jews told a lie. If Allah intends to create it, you cannot turn it away.
A man came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) crying for help. He said: His slave-girl, Apostle of Allah! He said: Woe to you, what happened with you ? He said that it was an evil one. He saw the slave-girl of his master; he became jealous of him, and cut off his penis. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) said: Bring the man to me. The man was called, but people could not get control over him. The Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) then said: Go away, you are free. He asked: Apostle of Allah! upon whom does my help lie? He replied: On every believer, or he said: On every Muslim.
Narrated Anas:
The Prophet I used to go round (have sexual relations with) all his wives in one night, and he had nine wives.
Sahih Al-Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 62, Number 142:
Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri:
Once Allah’s Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) o 'Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, “O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women).” They asked, “Why is it so, O Allah’s Apostle ?” He replied, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.” The women asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?” He said, “Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?” They replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn’t it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?” The women replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her religion.”

THE BEST ONE
"Abu Hurayra said, the messenger of God said; "The Children of Israel used to take a bath looking at each other while they are completely naked, while Moses used to take his bath by himself alone. They said, why is not Moses taking his bath with us , May be he has large testicles. One day, Moses went to take a bath, he put his clothes on a rock. The rock took his clothes and ran away. Moses ran naked after the rock calling on it to give him his clothes. The Children of Israel looked at the naked Moses and said, By God , he looks all right. Moses took his clothes from the rock and kept beating the rock. “

 

[cestusdei]

I had a black dog. She was the greatest pet I have ever had. Very smart and loving. Another reason I will never submit to islam.

 

[CherryBomb]

se_goat…turn that around… Boy I hope that’s a coincidence!

 

[Catholic_Dude]

For some reason I dont believe the above quotes are real. I wouldnt be surprised if 75% of that was either made up by se_goat or he cut and pasted them.

 

[jack_hawkins]

I recognise the fly quote. The Hadiths are full of such stuff.

 

[Vaclav]

1. In Sura 19 (Maryam) the birth of Jesus was said to occur under a palm tree. There are no palm trees in Bethlehem/Jerusalem area. It regularly recieves snow.

Interesting aside

Also, if there were no palm trees then Palm Sunday would be a farce as well. But that appears not to be the case.

These special ceremonies were taking place toward the end of the 4th century in Jerusalem and are described in the travelogue Peregrinatio Etheriae

 

[Keikiolu]

Hello. I am a student of Arabic at a major university. I have two copies of the Koran, and frequently talk with Muslims as well as non-Muslims about Islam.

Here are some good questions I have come up with.

1. In Sura 19 (Maryam) the birth of Jesus was said to occur under a palm tree. There are no palm trees in Bethlehem/Jerusalem area. It regularly recieves snow.
2. Mohammed’s Isra to Masjid al-Aqsa is impossible, seeing as there was no mosque in Jerusalem at that time.
3. Human life was said to begin with a “blood clot”. I know this one has been gone over before, but fact remains, life does not begin with a blood clot.
4. There are many, many, many wacky Hadith. There are so many that my friends and I regularly hold “Hadith Parties” in which we read the Hadith and laugh at some of its absurdities. …{snip}…

No moslem is going to seriously answer these, because you, you infidel you, are not worth revealing the wonders of islam to.

I’d LOVE to hang out on a moslem forum and play with those idiots, except that I’m scared to death that they’d somehow trace my messages back to me.

The only thing that keeps islam going is fear.

It certainly couldn’t be anythng else.

Mahalo ke Akua…!
E pili mau na pomaikai ia oe. Aloha nui.

 

[Vaclav]

No moslem is going to seriously answer these, because you, you infidel you, are not worth revealing the wonders of islam to.

I’d LOVE to hang out on a moslem forum and play with those idiots, except that I’m scared to death that they’d somehow trace my messages back to me.

The only thing that keeps islam going is fear.

On the contrary, I had a very good friend and co-worker who is a Muslim. We would often have very reasonable discussions on faith and not a cross word was said. He and his wife very much had a love of their neighbour, no matter what faith they were, and he was always receptive to questions of faith, as was I.

It is characterizations like the one above that absolutely do not help to further communication between our faiths.

 

[Vaclav]

1. Mohammed’s Isra to Masjid al-Aqsa is impossible, seeing as there was no mosque in Jerusalem at that time.

“masjid” does not necessarily mean a mosque, but you knew that because you study Arabic. In fact, in that same sura it is used to refer to Solomon’s Temple. There are different interpretations of this, some believe it to be a “masjid in heaven” (“masjid” means place of prostration) and others see it as the Temple Mount. Some don’t even see it as a physical journey, but a dream of Mohammed’s.

1. There are many, many, many wacky Hadith. There are so many that my friends and I regularly hold “Hadith Parties” in which we read the Hadith and laugh at some of its absurdities. Here are several of the funnier ones.

A little respect would not be amiss, but really, is any other religion so different that all of her writings are completely up to date?

 

[hamba2han]

I really have no desire to participate in a thread which starts with such obvious ill-intent but I just like to suggest that those who are studying the ahadith so earnestly to try and find the answer to this question:

Why is the form and structure of the language used in the ahadith so different from that of the Qur’an?

After all, aren’t the words found in both written in Arabic and originated from the lips of the same man?

 

[Keikiolu]

Quote:
No moslem is going to seriously answer these, because you, you infidel you, are not worth revealing the wonders of islam to.

I’d LOVE to hang out on a moslem forum and play with those idiots, except that I’m scared to death that they’d somehow trace my messages back to me.

The only thing that keeps islam going is fear.
On the contrary, I had a very good friend and co-worker who is a Muslim. We would often have very reasonable discussions on faith and not a cross word was said. He and his wife very much had a love of their neighbour, no matter what faith they were, and he was always receptive to questions of faith, as was I.

It is characterizations like the one above that absolutely do not help to further communication between our faiths.

You know what? You’re absolutely right.

I’d really LOVE to hear the content of your discussions about faith.

What did you actually discuss? I’m extremely interested in hearing about it.

Let’s see if you can better inform my perceptions about the ludicrousness of islam, and about the apparent impossibility of moslems to come to agreement with their neighbors that we should be able to live together while holding our respective religions while trying to inform each other of our respective religions.

Mahalo ke Akua…!
E pili mau na pomaikai ia oe. Aloha nui.

 

[Booklover]

For some reason I dont believe the above quotes are real. I wouldnt be surprised if 75% of that was either made up by se_goat or he cut and pasted them.

Don’t be too sure of that! These are quotes from the hadiths.

Muslim vol. 1, #462

Abu Huraira reported: The Apostle of Allah said “When any of you awakes from sleep and performs ablution, he must clean his nose three times, for the devil spends the night in the interior of his nose.”

Here’s the one about the fly:

Bukhari vol. IV, no. 537

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said: "If a house fly falls into the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (into the drink) because one of its wings has the disease and the other wing has the cure (for that disease).

Bukhari vol. VII, no. 673

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said: "If a fly falls into the vessel of any of you, let him dip all of it into the vessel and then throw it away, for in one of its wings there is a disease and in the other wing there is healing.

Bukhari vol. II, no. 245

If one sleeps and does not offer the prayer, Satan urinates in his ears.
Narrated Abdullah: The Prophet said, "Satan urinated in his ears.

Vickie

 

[jack_hawkins]

I really have no desire to participate in a thread which starts with such obvious ill-intent but I just like to suggest that those who are studying the ahadith so earnestly to try and find the answer to this question:

Why is the form and structure of the language used in the ahadith so different from that of the Qur’an?

After all, aren’t the words found in both written in Arabic and originated from the lips of the same man?

translated for everyone else - I find some of the things in the Hadiths embarrassing and so want to avoid discussing them

 

[Booklover]

translated for everyone else - I find some of the things in the Hadiths embarrassing and so want to avoid discussing them

Exactly!

Vickie

 

[Vaclav]

What did you actually discuss? I’m extremely interested in hearing about it.

Many aspects of Catholicism and Islam from Mary and Jesus to abortion and Israel. Your question is too broad to answer in one post.

But you have no desire to learn anything really, do you? All you wish to do is mock and ridicule. That is one of our greatest problems right now. We have no understanding of the people in Iraq and without any sufficient understanding, we cannot possibly make any progress.

 

[Booklover]

“masjid” does not necessarily mean a mosque, but you knew that because you study Arabic. In fact, in that same sura it is used to refer to Solomon’s Temple. There are different interpretations of this, some believe it to be a “masjid in heaven” (“masjid” means place of prostration) and others see it as the Temple Mount. Some don’t even see it as a physical journey, but a dream of Mohammed’s.

A little respect would not be amiss, but really, is any other religion so different that all of her writings are completely up to date?

Oh, do you believe that absurdities deserve the same respect that profound teachings do?

Vickie

 

[Chris_LaRock]

The New Testament warns against following useless rules like those for the purpose of becoming holy. Mostly because they don’t make people holy. Following rules brings on the appearence of holiness, but does nothing to improve the condition of the person’s soul.