Must married couples abstain from sex during Lent?

[Lerin]

There are a number of behaviors that counts when you you talk about abstinence.It implies a voluntary self-denial of food, drink and sex.How many of you have given up certain types of food and drinks for your physical health yet we are not ready to abstain for only 40 days from sex for our spiritual health.They are many benefits if we can abstain this Lenten season.

What? How does abstaining from sex help our “spiritual health?” My husband and I are big fansof JPII teaching on Theology of the Body, and also have read Christopher West’s works on marital sexuality. I don’t see how abstaining for 40 days could possibly benefit our marriage in any way, as renewing the sacrament of our marriage through our marital embrace helps us spiritually with each time!

mpi says: Abstinence from sex demonstrates a lack of charity. The CCC says that acceptance of new children is very charitable. I recommend additional sex during lent - for those who wish to do the most charitable thing of all - bring new life into the world.

 

[Island_Oak]

Or just wait until you’ve been married for 17 years.

I’ve been married for 20 and can’t fathom going 40 days without making love to my husband!

 

[Sierrah]

Well for all those who can’t imagine abstaining for 40 days try it for years. I assume I’m not the only single person living a good life out there but come on. If we can do it for years why can’t you married people do it for 40 days…gheesh.

 

[Lerin]

Well for all those who can’t imagine abstaining for 40 days try it for years. I assume I’m not the only single person living a good life out there but come on. If we can do it for years why can’t you married people do it for 40 days…gheesh.

My husband and I have had to abstain during total bedrest/pelvic rest compications with my third pregnancy, and following childbirth while I heal.

The point is not that I couldn’t go without sex for 40 days, the point is I don’t know why you would as a married couple.

The “old school” Catholic understanding of sex as a necessary evil is long gone. I am a convert, and spent a lot of time reading the Church’s teachings on sexuality so I knew what I needed to change. (Contraception was fine in my Protestant faith, for example).

I just don’t understand the idea that going without for 40 days would somehow help the marriage and allow you to “renew” wedding vows on Easter. We renew the sacrament of marriage each and everytime we come together in the marital embrace.

It’s just not a very “Catholic” idea.

 

[LJN21]

Well for all those who can’t imagine abstaining for 40 days try it for years. I assume I’m not the only single person living a good life out there but come on. If we can do it for years why can’t you married people do it for 40 days…gheesh.

'cause its not part of Marriage…

What your asking is “sleep next to person who you love dearly, is your best friend, that your wildly attracted too and not want to have give your self to them for 40 nights”.

 

[graceandglory]

Abstinence from sex demonstrates a lack of charity. The CCC says that acceptance of new children is very charitable. I recommend additional sex during lent - for those who wish to do the most charitable thing of all - bring new life into the world.

Withholding sex from your spouse shows a lack of charity.
Mutual abstinence is charitable and scriptural (1 Cor. 7), and follows Church teaching in Humanae Vitae, Gaudium et Spes, and the Theology of the Body.

Periodic abstinence in fact demonstrates more charity, as well as the virtue of chastity, which all people, married and celibate, are to strive for.
Periodic abstinence is loving and charitable when your spouse is sick, and for numerous other reasons.

Couples who practice together periodic abstinence have a far less rate of divorce and have greater marital happiness, according to surveys.

Here is Pope John Paul II on Responsible Parenthood, quoting Humanae Vitae and Gaudium et Spes

ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/JP840801.htm

 

[Sierrah]

'cause its not part of Marriage…

What your asking is “sleep next to person who you love dearly, is your best friend, that your wildly attracted too and not want to have give your self to them for 40 nights”.

When you put it that way it makes sense that it would be a problem. Thanks for the honest answer.

 

[baylee]

Two words: Hell NO.

 

[mpi]

Withholding sex from your spouse shows a lack of charity.
Mutual abstinence is charitable and scriptural (1 Cor. 7), and follows Church teaching in Humanae Vitae, Gaudium et Spes, and the Theology of the Body.

Periodic abstinence in fact demonstrates more charity, as well as the virtue of chastity, which all people, married and celibate, are to strive for.
Periodic abstinence is loving and charitable when your spouse is sick, and for numerous other reasons.

Couples who practice together periodic abstinence have a far less rate of divorce and have greater marital happiness, according to surveys.

Here is Pope John Paul II on Responsible Parenthood, quoting Humanae Vitae and Gaudium et Spes

ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/JP840801.htm

I disagree with your interpretation of the link. Not having sex when a spouse is sick should not be used in the same sentence on par with “numerous other reasons”. What are these numerous other reasons.

The CCC states that “serious” reasons are required for a couple to engage in periodic abstinence. You seem to be characterizing it as almost an 8th sacrament.

The Bible and Church teaching show that bringing new life into the world is a sign of generousity. It almost sounds like a distortion of church teaching what you are claiming. Perhaps you could clarify your comments more so that I have a better idea of what you are talking about.

thanks

 

[graceandglory]

**
The CCC states that “serious” reasons are required for a couple to engage in periodic abstinence. ** You seem to be characterizing it as almost an 8th sacrament.

Marriage is the Sacrament, of which sex is a part.

Please share that CCC reference with me. I’ve never read that before. The Church teaches that “serious reasons” are required for a couple who wishes to not bring a child into the world. If a couple doesn’t want to have a baby for selfish reasons, to live in a bigger house, or afford better schools, that isn’t good enough. That is the contraceptive mentality. I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about Catholic teaching of sex in marriage as it comes from Pope John Paul II in the Theology of the Body.

As for periodic abstinence, Saints have practiced it. It is a form of asceticism. It is practicing the virtues of temperance and chastity. It is biblical. You are probably doing it right now. I don’t see how anyone could have a problem with that. Catholic couples who practice periodic abstinence as a part of NFP report greater marital satisfaction and have far lower rates of divorce than couples who don’t. You don’t even have to be fertile to practice periodic abstinence.

omsoul.com/

 

[DL82]

I believe some of the Eastern Churches may require abstinence from marital relations on the Fridays of Lent, or even all of Great Lent, but it’s never been a practice in the Western Church.

 

[711vic]

I am involved with bio-behavioral medicine & I believe there is already too much guilt associated with sex. In less enlightened times the was the misconception that the fall in the Garden of Eden had to do with the forbidden fruit had to do with sex.

That is wrong, if you check the Genesis account it was God blessed the couple allowing for sexual reproduction. The command was to to fill the earth and checking the account you will see that was before the fall.

Sex is not dirty or unclean it only becomes unclean when it is not within the marriage arrangement. The Church is spoken of as being married to the Lamb of God, this means the Church would be loyal to the Christ.

Jesus spoke of the sanctity of the marriage arrangement, what a wonderful clean arrangement part of which is the sexual act.

Now the issue of abstinence at various times would be a matter of conscience and as the St. Paul says both partners should agree. By the way that doesn’t mean it has to be on times such as Lent.

Sometimes though, I believe some will automatically include sexual abstinence because of the aforementioned view made earlier which equates sex with being dirty or unclean.

If that is your reason for abstaining sexually , you may want to review what God’s view on sex is. One of the best person’s that can guide you in this is believe it or not is your priest. Marriage includes wonderful lessons such as loyalty, agape love ( that is love based on principal ), exclusive devotion it embodies self sacrifice.

In Israel God in an illustrative way spoke Himself as the husbandly owner of Israel. Yes what a blessed arrangement is marriage.