Must we forgive everyone?

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SeanTom

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MUST WE FORGIVE ALL WHO SIN AGAINST US?

Regarding forgiveness, I found some of the following in my files regarding this subject.

God loves everyone, and He shows mercy to all. But He does not forgive everyone. He offers forgiveness with conditions because there are some attitudes He will not forgive. As compassionate as He is, He won’t lift the burden of guilt from those who refuse to acknowledge their need for mercy.

God forgives repentant people. His heart reaches out to those who are contrite and broken (Isaiah 66-2). But He does not forgive those who consciously hide and cling to their wrongs. Neither does He teach us to automatically forgive everyone who has wronged us. Instead, The God of the Bible teaches us to pray for our enemies. He teaches us to lovingly confront those who have harmed us and to forgive those who acknowledge their wrong (Luke 17:3-4). I quote: “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times, saying I am sorry, you should forgive him.” To me this does not say that we MUST forgive everyone, but if they say “I’m sorry” or otherwise repents from what they have done, then we MUST forgive them. A point: If God forgave EVERYONE unconditionally, would not EVERYONE go to Heaven - and none go to Hell?

It is my understanding that God wasn’t teaching us to automatically forgive everyone who harms us. His warning, in the prayer “Our Father” was for those of us whose hearts are hard and unrelenting toward those who ask for our forgiveness. His loving anger is a warning of what happens to us when we refuse to give repentant people the mercy we ourselves have received. Again here it appears that if someone asks for forgiveness and repents for the harm he has done to us, then we must forgive that person

Jesus said: “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34).

I was told many years ago that this verse does NOT say, “Forgive them no matter what they did or what they do.” Jesus could also have said just three words, “Father, forgive them.” But he didn’t He finished His sentence by saying “Forgive them, they know not what they do.” It seems to be implied here that Jesus is asking His Father to forgive them because they do not know the serious consequences of their actions - they do not know that by doing this they will spend eternity in hell. This makes sense, otherwise why would Jesus say forgive them because they have no idea what they are doing (my words). Would Jesus have asked His Father to forgive them if He thought they did know what they were doing and the resulting punishment for doing so, but didn’t care? This interpretation of forgiveness may be a way out for those of us who, in some cases, just can not forgive someone for a grave action committed against us. For instance, if you are witnessing someone killing and raping your children, you may find it in your heart to never, ever forgive that person, especially if that person does not ask to be forgiven and boasts about what he did. Maybe this is what Jesus is telling us. However, if that person asks for forgiveness and shows true repent, then we must forgive him.

Matthew 16:19: “I will give you (Peter) the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in Heaven.” Also, a Priest in confession forgives, in Jesus’ name, those who state their sins, show sorrow for them and ASKS for forgiveness.

I guess we can always find differences of opinion when it comes to humans trying to define scripture. As humans we are always seeking a way out. There is so much to learn from God’s teachings through scripture, and all we can do is ask the Holy Spirit to guide our interpretations. But as humans we will always question and seek answers. We should not seek answers in scripture without asking for guidance by the Holy Spirit. If not, we may be going in the wrong direction. I guess this is where schisms come in.

One last comment: Regardless of everything I said above, the forgiver always feels better than the forgiven. I would suggest, if at all possible, forgive all those who wrong you, even if you don’t tell them in person, as this will usually give you peace of mind.
 
Simple answer: yes. I have already forgiven everyone who has done me any harm in the past and continue to pray for them so that despite whatever mistakes they make in life they will be received into Our Lord’s arms when they pass from this life. This type of Christianity is the only one that assures I will be forgiven for my offenses.
 
I believe that we are called to forgive all who wrong us, but we are not required to forget the wrong or subject ourselves to future abuse.

I believe that forgiveness is more about our relationship with God than our relationship with the person who wronged us. If we are sufficiently focused on God, increasing our holiness and our future with Him in heaven, then why would we not be able or willing to forgive anyone on this little rock that is our very temporary home?
 
SeanTom said:
As compassionate as He is, He won’t lift the burden of guilt from those who refuse to acknowledge their need for mercy.
QUOTE]

I completely agree…we are bound to forgive those who ask for our forgiveness, just as we must ask God’s forgiveness in confession.

That said, it’s good for our own lives if we can forgive those who don’t ask for pardon. Some hurts, I believe, are so big that we cannot forgive them without the help of God’s grace…and even then it can take time because we’re only human and imperfect instruments.
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This is why I highly recommend the book, *God Help Me! These People Are Driving Me Nuts! *by Greg Popcak. it drives home these very points. In fact, Dr. Popcak should start paying me for advertsing.😉
 
SeanTom said:
God loves everyone, and He shows mercy to all. But He does not forgive everyone. He offers forgiveness with conditions because there are some attitudes He will not forgive. As compassionate as He is, He won’t lift the burden of guilt from those who refuse to acknowledge their need for mercy.
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God does forgive everyone; however, many, who deny His Mercy, chose their own path by their own will.

Trusting in God is a mean of receiving more graces. The more graces you have, the closer you are in union with God and the more you are under His protection. If you trust in God, Heaven will be yours. 🙂
 
Great replies to difficult situations.

But some of the quotes still bothers me a bit, like “Forgive them for they know not what they do” - would He ask for forgiveness if they knew what they were doing but still defied God? Why say, “for they know not what they do”? Why not just say “forgive them”?

And the quote stating "And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times, saying I am sorry, you should forgive him.” What if he doesn’t say he is sorry?

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in forgiveness. I am just trying to ascertain, with my little mind, what Jesus meant in the above quotes.
 
I believe that we are called to forgive all who wrong us, but we are not required to forget the wrong or subject ourselves to future abuse.
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That’s exactly how I feel. I’ve forgiven those who have harmed me, but I haven’t forgotten what they’ve done, nor hanged around with them so they can hurt me more.
 
it’s tough sometimes, but I’d definitely try my best:)
 
water said:
God does forgive everyone; however, many, who deny His Mercy, chose their own path by their own will.
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Laudatur Iesus Christus.

I have read things like this from others on this forum. Is there some basis for saying this?

This view seems to deny God’s Judgment of the world. In the parable of the sheep and the goats, it is the Son of Man who separates the sheep from the goats, (see, Mt. 5:31-46); it is the Son of Man or His angels who cast the scandals and those that work iniquity into the furnace of fire, (Mt. 41-42). There are many other references to this effect.

Are there any references to people throwing themselves into Hell?

It seems to me to “forgive everyone,” whether they ask to be forgiven or not, would be disrespectful to the sinner and constitute a deep failure of love. If God loves a person, then He respects that person’s decisions, even if those decisions lead to damnation. The notion that God ignores the consequences of one’s decisions, if one acts unknowingly, seems to suggest that God does not love us as men, but rather as pets or fools. This does not seem to be born out by my reading of the Gospels, or by the Holy Spirit speaking through the Councils of the Church.

Is there some source that leads people to this “all forgiving – regardless of repentance” view of God?

Spiritus Sapientiae nobiscum.

John Hiner
 
1 Peter 4:10 calls us generous distributors of God’s graces. Those graces include forgiveness regardless of whether the person asks for it or not. What else does our Lord mean when he says forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. And he asks us to apply this to our enemies as well as our friends because it is easy with friends. I believe this is the only way of maximizing the number of souls who get to heaven and that is what every Christian’s mission is.
 
John_Hiner said:
Is there some source that leads people to this “all forgiving – regardless of repentance” view of God?

Spiritus Sapientiae nobiscum.

John Hiner
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The only sin that God can’t forgive is to blasphame the Holy Spirit - that is rejecting God’s love.
 
Psalm 135:1 Praise the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. 2 Praise ye the God of gods: for his mercy endureth for ever. 3 Praise ye the Lord of lords: for his mercy endureth for ever. 4 Who alone doth great wonders: for his mercy endureth for ever. 5 Who made the heavens in understanding: for his mercy endureth for ever.6 Who established the earth above the waters: for his mercy endureth for ever. 7 Who made the great lights: for his mercy endureth for ever. 8 The sun to rule over the day: for his mercy endureth for ever. 9 The moon and the stars to rule the night: for his mercy endureth for ever. 10 Who smote Egypt with their firstborn: for his mercy endureth for ever.

11 Who brought Israel from among them: for his mercy endureth for ever. 12 With a mighty hand and a stretched out arm: for his mercy endureth for ever. 13 Who divided the Red Sea into parts: for his mercy endureth for ever. 14 And brought out Israel through the midst thereof: for his mercy endureth for ever. 15 And overthrew Pharao and his host in the Red Sea: for his mercy endureth for ever.

16 Who led his people through the desert: for his mercy endureth for ever. 17 Who smote great kings: for his mercy endureth for ever. 18 And slew strong kings: for his mercy endureth for ever. 19 Sehon king of the Amorrhites: for his mercy endureth for ever. 20 And Og king of Basan: for his mercy endureth for ever.

21 And he gave their land for an inheritance: for his mercy endureth for ever. 22 For an inheritance to his servant Israel: for his mercy endureth for ever. 23 For he was mindful of us in our affliction: for his mercy endureth for ever. 24 And he redeemed us from our enemies: for his mercy endureth for ever. 25 Who giveth food to all flesh: for his mercy endureth for ever.

26 Give glory to the God of heaven: for his mercy endureth for ever. 27 Give glory to the Lord of lords: for his mercy endureth for ever.

It’s pretty clear, His mercy endureth forever. 🙂
 
I’ve often told people who struggle in forgiving someone that the mercy we show to others will be the mercy shown to us at our hour.

There is no statute of limitation on forgiveness.
 
What about everybody you’ve offended?

Do you want everyone else to forgive you?

Keep in mind the words of the “Our Father”.
And ask God to help you to more quickly forgive others.
I need it too – too often my first reaction is not appropriate.

jmm08
 
goofyjim said:
1 Peter 4:10 calls us generous distributors of God’s graces. Those graces include forgiveness regardless of whether the person asks for it or not. What else does our Lord mean when he says forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. And he asks us to apply this to our enemies as well as our friends because it is easy with friends. I believe this is the only way of maximizing the number of souls who get to heaven and that is what every Christian’s mission is.
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Laudatur Iesus Christus.

I do not follow. St Peter does not mention forgiveness in the passage you cite. In the Lord’s Prayer we ask for forgiveness; this is precisely consistent with a view that says forgiveness should be extended to those who ask. Otherwise, God’s forgiveness of those who pray, “forgive us our trespasses,” would not be “as we forgive those who trespass against us.” He would have forgiven us who asked; while we would have forgiven both those who ask and those who do not ask. (In Latin this phrase is even stronger “sicut et” meaning “just as.” The Greek similarly has “hos kai” meaning “just as.”)

Jesus’ command is to “repent.”

Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, And saying: The time is accomplished, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent, and believe the gospel. (Mark 1:14-16.)

The good news is that repentance will be accepted and save one from one’s past mistakes. God is forgiving; He is not indifferent to sin.

Even confession does not forgive un-repented sin, even if one gives lip-service to requesting forgiveness. This is the point of the phrase “a good confession,” as opposed to the mere motions of confession, without repentance and contrition. (See, Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1451ff.)

The notion that the Lord’s command is to forgive all is inconsistent with the words of the Lord Himself: “Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them; and whose sins you shall retain, they are retained, (John 20:23). The power to retain would be a sham, if the command were to never use it.

I think that a distinction must be made. One must forgive and join in the pain of repentance with those who seek forgiveness. This is a matter of love and intimacy between those for whom love is reciprocal. This should be the case with all “brothers.” This is why one should forgive a repentant brother seventy times seven times (or however one combines these sevens in translation).

However, there is a separate issue relating to those who are not our friends – those who are our “anti-friends” or “enemies.” With these we must turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, give up our shirt as well as our cloak, and offer no resistance – because we are not trying to reconcile with them. These are the “dead” who must “bury their own dead.”

It is these unrepentant enemies who are at issue. They present a separate problem. How do we give up our resentment at their injuries to us, without reconciling with them and making of them friends rather than enemies? I think this is the circumstance which leads the Lord to say, “Let the dead bury their own dead.” This means something like, ‘do not look for satisfaction or peace from those who are not alive in the Spirit.’ One should forgive a repentant brother. One should work diligently to repair a rift with a brother when he has offended one, see Matthew 18: 15-17. One should seek to reconcile with a brother one has offended, even before offering sacrifice, see Matthew 5:23-24. All of these involve asking for and receiving forgiveness.

However, the problem with one’s enemy is that he will not cooperate in reconciliation. Not obeying the Lord’s command to love, he does not seek intimacy or love. With this person we do not “forgive” in the proper sense, but in the sense of the current phrase “let it go.” We let go of our resentment, but we do not pardon the person or his offense. We ought not suffer from the wounds of the offense – since these are cured by the Lord. However, we love the enemy at a distance and in a different way than we love our brothers. We love the enemy as one loves selfish children, or animals, without reciprocation or authentic intimacy. We pray for and work for his good, but we do not share the unity of heart and mind that is at the core of our love within the Body of Christ.

Perhaps this is the key to this issue. We “forgive” all, but the word does not have the same sense for those who repent and ask for forgiveness as for those who merely harm us and remain unrepentant: for the first we forgive, reconcile, and grow closer in love; for the second all we can do is “let it go” so that our lives are not poisoned with resentment. We then pray for them and work for their superficial good, in the hope that some day the Lord will lead them to repent and the true love of Christ can enter their experience.

Pax Christi nobiscum.

John Hiner
 
We are called to forgive endlessly and always - “seventy times seven” which is the Biblical number for infinity. However, forgiveness can be a journey. We start out wanting to forgive and praying to forgive, while unable to feel that forgiveness. Persisting prayfully in the ‘forgiveness journey’ will bring one to a point where one really has forgiven and feels it…it can be a very long journey. All falls within the Divine Providence of God…even that we cannot feel forgiveness. He has permitted this state of heart, mind and soul for some reason and often entirely mysterious to us.

Blesings and Peace…Barb:)
 
Have I forgiven the man who raped me when I was 16? Why should I? I mean you guys make some great points, and although I attend confession regularly and go to church every sunday, I cannot find it in my heart to forgive him.
 
I was raped at 15yrs which was to take my life on a dreadful journey, changing its course. I have forgiven him. It was a journey over a span of time to felt forgiveness. Nothing is outside of God’s Divine Providence, His Will - at every moment of our lives, He is providing for us and for our sanctification - even in the wrong we are done and that occurs generally…nothing.

God’s Blessings and Peace…Barb:)
 
“Forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us”

I suspect we need to forgive everyone as we would like to be forgiven.
 
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