My 16 year old daughter doesn't believe in God

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dconklin said:
As a parent, I appreciate your concern for your daughter - but I am confused by it as well. You are married to a man you think is an atheist. No matter how devout you are, she has a 50-50 chance of not believing. Young people who have the slightest intention of raising Catholic children have to do everything in their power (marry a strong Catholic) to get this accomplished.

Pray for her!
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While I appreciate your advice, I’ve been married go this man for 20 years. I can’t marry a strong Catholic now. 😉

He is a wonderful man who wasn’t raised with any faith of his own, but he has been supportive in me raising the kids Catholic, sending them to Catholic school and when they were younger, helping me get them ready for church even though he had no intention of going to Mass with us. I have been praying for over 20 years for him to be open to the faith.

His support is starting to wane, but I can’t go back in time. Plus, I love him!

BTW, when we had gotten married, I “thought” I was Catholic, but I was pretty much Catholic in name only. (I grew up in the “God is love, now go paint a rainbow” method of catechesis and once I had children is when I really started to know and learn my faith). When we went to marriage prep with our priest before we were married, my husband was very clear that he was okay raising the kids Catholic. Now? Not so much. 😦
 
RACJ said:
I sent my four daughters through Catholic scools, and they were NOT effective apologists for the Faith. In fact, some teachers undermined Christianity. I wish that Lee Stobels’s book “Case for a Creator” existed then, and was required reading for every student. Luckily, you have the chance now to challenge your daughter to read it. 👍 Rob
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I will find that book and read it. Thanks for the suggestion!
 
Pray for the intercession of Saint Monica, who was in much your same boat for many years. Continue to make God a large part of her life. Grace before meals, you understand.

If it didn’t happen too long ago, I would recommend punishing her for skipping Mass. Not just for the Mass, but because she lied to you.

God Bless both of you.
 
Pray for her but don’t obsess or nag her about it unless she asks you. When she’s older there will come a time she will have nowhere to turn to but to God. I believed in God at that age but never really cared about it too much when I was young. As I got older though I found out through a long process that I could find peace in prayer and have since returned back into the fold. Still a Sunday Catholic but it’s a start.
 
St. Monica prayed for her son Augustine for 17 years to become a Christian. And of course, we know how that turned out: the future bishop and saint went on to become the most influential Christian thinker of the 1st millennium.

17 years is a long time, yet Monica had patience. Pray patiently and persevere. If you have faith and trust in God, He will answer your prayers. You’re not asking to win the lottery, you’re asking that your daughter come back to being a Christian. As as far as I’m concerned, that is prayer you can count on that God will answer.
 
Someone mentioned Lee Strobel’s book “Case for a Creator”. I wouldn’t recommend that one. It puts forth arguments from the “intelligent design” movement, which has not found much support from Catholics but instead of Evangelical Christians, as this article demonstrates: huffingtonpost.com/john-farrell/intelligent-design-losing_b_790527.html.

Unless your daughter is interested in the interaction between Science and Religion that is (and if she were I think something by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin would be better than evangelical biblical fundamentalists trashing evolution), but I would recommend “The Case for Faith” and “The Case for Christ”, also by Strobel. The Case for Faith has a section with Peter Kreeft in it!
 
Hello - I am the original poster.

I am asking for continued prayers for my daughter. She turned 18 this past Wednesday and both my husband and my daughter have declared that she no longer needs to go to Mass on the weekends. She has gotten her schedule at work to be scheduled on Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings, so it’s impossible for her to go.

I offer up every Eucharist for her and my husband. The boys and I go to Mass every weekend alone.

Last week, my daughter also told me she will be going on birth control. My husband, who last year had a fit if my daughter’s skirt was above the knee, is all for her being on birth control. I feel so lost, so alone and that I have failed the Lord in every way possible.
 
Saber Mom,

I’m so sorry your daughter and you are going through this difficult time. Though my children are not atheists, they do not attend services of any kind. It is very easy to blame myself for this, just as you are. But, the truth is I did the best I could at the time. That’s all any of us can do. I truly believe our Lord knows this and forgives any of our shortfalls.

Also, you previously mentioned how sorry you are that you need to come here for help and hope the day will come when you can help others. That day is NOW. Your questions do help others. Your concerns / problems are shared by many who may be too uncomfortable to post. And each of the people posting responses are growing in their faith when they post.

Continue praying and living your faith. Know that you are not alone.

God Bless You, Your Husband, Daughter and family.
 
Saber_Mom said:
Hello - I am the original poster.

I am asking for continued prayers for my daughter. She turned 18 this past Wednesday and both my husband and my daughter have declared that she no longer needs to go to Mass on the weekends. She has gotten her schedule at work to be scheduled on Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings, so it’s impossible for her to go.

I offer up every Eucharist for her and my husband. The boys and I go to Mass every weekend alone.

Last week, my daughter also told me she will be going on birth control. My husband, who last year had a fit if my daughter’s skirt was above the knee, is all for her being on birth control. I feel so lost, so alone and that I have failed the Lord in every way possible.
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I am not sure that I should post on this thread because we don’t have children and I feel unqualified to give advice on anything to do with teenagers and young adults.

However, from my perspective you are not a failure in any sense of the word. In fact you are amazing.

So I would say to just persevere in your efforts and prayers. Sometimes it takes time. There are scores of examples of the conversion of people through the prayers of another. Unfortunately, most of the examples I have heard and read about took years. Rereading Isaiah 40:31 may help you when you feel weary.

Some resources that might appeal to her include Father Barron on You Tube who addresses many atheist arguments as well as stories of atheist conversions on You Tube from a wide diversity of people including prominent scientists.

Good luck, and you are in my prayers.
 
Saber_Mom said:
Hello - I am the original poster.

I am asking for continued prayers for my daughter. She turned 18 this past Wednesday and both my husband and my daughter have declared that she no longer needs to go to Mass on the weekends. She has gotten her schedule at work to be scheduled on Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings, so it’s impossible for her to go.

I offer up every Eucharist for her and my husband. The boys and I go to Mass every weekend alone.

Last week, my daughter also told me she will be going on birth control. My husband, who last year had a fit if my daughter’s skirt was above the knee, is all for her being on birth control. I feel so lost, so alone and that I have failed the Lord in every way possible.
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No matter how you raise your children, they have free will. Your daughter is choosing the way that Adam and Eve chose, making herself the arbiter of what is good and what is bad. You only have to look around at the alumni of your daughter’s high school to know that this happens to children brought up by two practicing Catholics, too. It happens less often, but it happens. Praying for her is essential.

Also, don’t be bashful about maintaining that what you believe is the truth. as factual as math facts or Newton’s Laws of Motion. Don’t be pushed into conceding relativism. No one does it with math, even when talking with people who “don’t get” math. If you understand the math and someone else doesn’t, you don’t concede that maybe they’re right and you’re wrong about how the numbers add up. You don’t act like you’re somehow a superior being because you are good at math and they aren’t. You don’t treat them as if they were stupid just because you understand something that they do not. You do, however, eventually concede that there is no use in beating a dead horse by trying to get them to “see” what they don’t see.
 
EasterJoy said:
Also, don’t be bashful about maintaining that what you believe is the truth. as factual as math facts or Newton’s Laws of Motion. Don’t be pushed into conceding relativism. No one does it with math, even when talking with people who “don’t get” math. If you understand the math and someone else doesn’t, you don’t concede that maybe they’re right and you’re wrong about how the numbers add up. You don’t act like you’re somehow a superior being because you are good at math and they aren’t. You don’t treat them as if they were stupid just because you understand something that they do not. You do, however, eventually concede that there is no use in beating a dead horse by trying to get them to “see” what they don’t see.
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Thank you.
 
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