My 8 Year Old Son Wants To Be A Priest

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ConfirmaMe

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He says he wants to be a priest. He recently started as an altar server at Latin Mass. Sometimes I think he says things just to hear himself talk or for the shock value, but he’s been saying this since he was about 5.

What could/should I be doing to encourage, or more to the point NOT discourage him? I’m not sure if I should be taking him seriously or not.

The last thing I want is for him to feel pressured by what he said, and be afraid to say he changed his mind. Can he even have that level of discernment at this age? :confused:
 
Don’t take him too seriously- but even if he said it for the shock value, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t mean it somewhere deep down. Don’t talk too much about it. Don’t mention it to houseguests when he’s around (trust me). Make sure he serves Mass when he is assigned
(and if the other servers don’t show up;) 0, and see to it that he is properly catechized. Neither encourage nor discourage- at least don’t make it obvious.
 
Hm…I sort of told my mom and dad in front of him. I’ll not do that any more. I take it you had a bad experience with that? I will just continue to pray for him and teach him, as you said.
 
ConfirmaMe said:
Hm…I sort of told my mom and dad in front of him. I’ll not do that any more. I take it you had a bad experience with that? I will just continue to pray for him and teach him, as you said.
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It’s embarassing. Not a bad experience, it’s just a little embarassing- sort of like hugging him in front of his classmates.
 
I would not take him too seriously at this point. He’s eight and is most likely still enamored with learning his acolyte duties. I would encourage his growth in faith and the rest will fall into place. After all, he has about 10 years before that decision even become a possibility.
 
Tim_Kirchoff said:
It’s embarassing. Not a bad experience, it’s just a little embarassing- sort of like hugging him in front of his classmates.
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Oh, my gosh…he’s totally excited about it. Tells everyone who asks him what he wants to be when he grows up. And again, this isn’t new. Been going on for about 3 years now. He gets so excited about going to Mass or learning a new prayer. A real genuine joy. I’m just not always sure what to do with it, other than be thankful. 🙂
 
I think the best thing you could do is, when you talk to him about future, try to point out that priesthood and marriage are equally important and valuable.
When he says he wants to be a priest, say something supportive, but also talk about girls, marriage and stuff.
 
ConfirmaMe said:
He says he wants to be a priest. He recently started as an altar server at Latin Mass. Sometimes I think he says things just to hear himself talk or for the shock value, but he’s been saying this since he was about 5.

What could/should I be doing to encourage, or more to the point NOT discourage him? I’m not sure if I should be taking him seriously or not.

The last thing I want is for him to feel pressured by what he said, and be afraid to say he changed his mind. Can he even have that level of discernment at this age? :confused:
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Just out of curiousity, why do you want to discourage him?

At this point I’d say don’t do anything. He hasn’t hit puberty, doesn’t know all that is inolved in becoming a priest etc.
Be open and let him have his fantasy. If it evolves into a vocation later - Great. If not, - so be it.

Pace
James
 
On the one hand, he’s still a child, but on the other, it is not uncommon for a person to realize their vocation as young as 5. Many older priests will say that they knew they would become priests when they four or five.

I think the best thing you can do is make it clear to him:
a) Becoming a priest is a positive thing. Saying Mass and hearing confessions is something that not even the angels and Our Lady can do, and he can make a positive impact on people by persuing that lifestyle.
b) You support him 100% no matter what he wants to be. You will be there for him while he is discerning, during his education, and while he works in his chosen profession. You’re there for him no matter what.

My parents did not do this for me, and it has caused (and is causing) innumerable difficulties as I discern my vocation. If I could have been open with them, things would have been very different.

As was said before, ensuring that he is well educated in matters of faith is very important. A prayer life is very important as well. Make sure that he prays on a daily basis, and begings developing a personal relationship with Our Lord. Take him to Adoration (you can look on the internet for resources on a child’s Holy Hour), and frequently to Mass. Also, family prayer helps. If the whole family has spiritual life, he will truly see it as a way of life.

Hope this helps!

Mat.

P.S. – Does he go to Catholic school?
 
James, perhaps I worded my post in a confusing fashion. I asked how do I encourage him and/or avoid discouraging him. In other words, keeping his mind open about both vocations while not discouraging him from what he feels is best for himself. I certainly don’t want to discourage him from the priesthood. I think that would be profoundly awesome, if that’s his calling.

Mat., thanks for the tips! Yes, he goes to a Catholic school…as a matter of fact, he goes to Cure’ of Ars (nice signature 😉 ). Unfortunately, I feel like I have to “unteach” him a lot of what he learns in Catholic school. I wish I could homeschool him. I teach him from the Baltimore Catechism books 1 and 2 at home. He does rosary and morning and evening prayers (he’s in school for the 2 midday prayers), and we recently started doing Lectio together. This will also be his 5th “Bible in a Year.” We started doing that when he was 3 and he got a new Bible for Christmas. He loves to read.

At any rate, I will pray and encourage him, I just wasn’t sure how to approach it. Hearing from those of you that are discerning your vocation, and what you found supportive and what you didn’t, really helps. Thank you.
 
Pope Bennedict said he knew he was to be a priest since he was around that age. It is not impossible for you to know at that age, and if you do it is a gift.
 
Well, my 7 yo is no where near excited about learning prayers as your little man (although we do have another year to get there 😃 )…however, I think you might just have a little Priest on your hands.

I did understand what you were saying about discouraging him, you don’t want your encouragement to turn him away. I happen to think that you should just treat him like normal, teach him the Faith as you would another child and God will handle the rest.

Maybe your little guy is the answer to all those prayers that we say “Lord, please send us Holy Priests”…

👍
 
ConfirmaMe said:
James, perhaps I worded my post in a confusing fashion. I asked how do I encourage him and/or avoid discouraging him. In other words, keeping his mind open about both vocations while not discouraging him from what he feels is best for himself. I certainly don’t want to discourage him from the priesthood. I think that would be profoundly awesome, if that’s his calling.

Mat., thanks for the tips! Yes, he goes to a Catholic school…as a matter of fact, he goes to Cure’ of Ars (nice signature 😉 ). Unfortunately, I feel like I have to “unteach” him a lot of what he learns in Catholic school. I wish I could homeschool him. I teach him from the Baltimore Catechism books 1 and 2 at home. He does rosary and morning and evening prayers (he’s in school for the 2 midday prayers), and we recently started doing Lectio together. This will also be his 5th “Bible in a Year.” We started doing that when he was 3 and he got a new Bible for Christmas. He loves to read.

At any rate, I will pray and encourage him, I just wasn’t sure how to approach it. Hearing from those of you that are discerning your vocation, and what you found supportive and what you didn’t, really helps. Thank you.
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Well, it seems you met and surpassed all my suggestions!

To be honest, whenever someone says to me “my son wants to be a priest…” the thing I worry the most about is whether he is being raised to be a good Catholic regardless of vocation. I don’t think we have to worry about that with you. His prayer and intellectual life seem above average for his age, and for that I commend you. Keep doing what you’re doing, and his true vocation is bound to manifest itself.

You must also realize, and make your son realize, that if he becomes a priest, it will not change your relationship. Jesus’s Earthly family was very important to Him, and in that light, a priest’s parents, especially his mother, are deeply important to him.

Has he ever read a book of Saints? There are great ones out there for kids, and they have been known to inspire the faithful. It might be a good idea to get him one.

Mat.
 
Vocation directors for religious orders and dioceses have DVDs they send out. I’m not suggesting that you should inundate him, but receiving a DVD (mail is always fun for kids) that he could watch when he wants to might give him a better picture of what priests do.
 
As for what I said about not mentioning it in front of others, that, I think, is more about me than people in general- if he didn’t act embarassed when you mentioned it, you could probably mention it again. If he is as enthusiastic as you say, there would probably be no problem. I suppose I erred on the side of caution:shrug:

It seems you are doing quite a bit to help your son develop spiritually. Keep it up!👍
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
Vocation directors for religious orders and dioceses have DVDs they send out. I’m not suggesting that you should inundate him, but receiving a DVD (mail is always fun for kids) that he could watch when he wants to might give him a better picture of what priests do.
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Very cool idea! Thank you! Like you said, I don’t want to overwhelm him, but he DOES love getting mail, and he doesn’t have to know I requested it. 😉
Maybe your little guy is the answer to all those prayers that we say “Lord, please send us Holy Priests”…
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Aw!
Has he ever read a book of Saints? There are great ones out there for kids, and they have been known to inspire the faithful. It might be a good idea to get him one.
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He has read SOME books. Do you remember those Tan Publishing Company books? The children’s books that are the life of one saint? We have read St. Martin de Porres, St. Rose, and St. Francis. That’s a great idea to get more books like that. Thanks!

I learn more from him than I teach him, I think. He seems to understand everything better than I do. He’s so old in his shoes. :o
 
Tim_Kirchoff said:
As for what I said about not mentioning it in front of others, that, I think, is more about me than people in general- if he didn’t act embarassed when you mentioned it, you could probably mention it again. If he is as enthusiastic as you say, there would probably be no problem. I suppose I erred on the side of caution:shrug:
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Tim,

Could that advice, perhaps, be related to the reality of your own teenage years? For an adolescent like yourself, I’d tend to agree with the advice you offered. It is a tough age to have a lot of people around dotting on about how “he wants to be a priest” when, really, you are just trying to find yourself.

At age eight, however, I imagine that the kind of support and encouragement which comes from honest exploration should be heartily fostered. When I was in third grade, for example, I used to “play Mass.” I even went so far as to tape record one of my “celebrations.” It was given (I suppose by my grandmother) to the religious sister who taught the class I was in. She commented right in from of me and my classmates one day to a priest who was visiting, “That boy is going to be a priest!” At the time, I think it surprised me a little, but I wasn’t exactly made to feel particularly self conscious. I probably felt encouraged.

Now, by the time I was in the 7th grade, I certainly WAS a bit concerned about what peers thought about this interest I had and didn’t want to get bugged about it or have placed upon me anyone else’s expectations.

Ultimately, I think I’d agree that it isn’t a great thing to push too hard (it may only be met with rebellion), though it is certainly necessary to offer support and understanding. At the age of her son with the expressed interest, I do believe that basically a matter of fostering what is already there yet allowing the boy to make his own decisions when he grows on in years. For now, let him have fun and explore it. This may be just the sort of thing which fosters lifelong interest in such a life and ultimately serves as a germinating seed of priestly vocation.
 
Thanks for your understanding, everyone. You all seem to get that there’s a fine line between encouraging and pressuring. I want him to do what God wants him to do. Whatever it is.

…and Tim, did I read that right? You’re a teen?
 
ConfirmaMe said:
Thanks for your understanding, everyone. You all seem to get that there’s a fine line between encouraging and pressuring. I want him to do what God wants him to do. Whatever it is.

…and Tim, did I read that right? You’re a teen?
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Yes, I am. I actually get asked ( by people at my school) from time to time if I want to be a priest. If I were limited to one-word answers (and I am, more or less- they hear ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and then they stop listening), I’d say yes, but people tend not to realize that there’s a bit more to it at this stage, at least for me. My warning actually comes from a story my parents insist on telling whenever there is a priest at our house:blush: :rolleyes:
 
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