my addiction

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IMustDecrease

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I cant stop masterbating and looking at porn, I have sincerely tried and i am in confession about every week, I was sexually abused as a child and up til the age of about 19 i was terrified of sex and couldnt even achieve an orgasm with masterbation, but now i have trouble not doing it for a week, the longest i have been able to go is 1 week, this week i did it 4 times and i went to confession, i was almost in tears i was truly sorry and i still am but i did it again today, i cant stop please help if someone can help
 
Don’t be afraid. God knows that you’re struggling, and knows that it is a hard struggle. For know, your struggle is enough, because this isn’t a habit that can be broken easily. You’ve already taken the first step of confessing regularly, which means you’re looking to God for aid.

Do your best to avoid occasions of sin, pray frequently, keep a rosary or a bible or a crucifix near your bed. Don’t despair that you can’t break the addiction right away, but set intermediate goals, such as:

I may masturbate this week, but I will watch no pornography.
I will masturbate less this week than I did last week.

Keep fighting the good fight. Dedicate yourself to God, and you cannot be beaten.
 
IMustDecrease said:
I cant stop masterbating and looking at porn, I have sincerely tried and i am in confession about every week, I was sexually abused as a child and up til the age of about 19 i was terrified of sex and couldnt even achieve an orgasm with masterbation, but now i have trouble not doing it for a week, the longest i have been able to go is 1 week, this week i did it 4 times and i went to confession, i was almost in tears i was truly sorry and i still am but i did it again today, i cant stop please help if someone can help
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First of all you must relax. The fact that you are bothered by this is an indication that you are on the right path. That is good news!

This is an extremely common problem for men and especially young men. Most likely this is more of a habit than an addiction. More and more women are getting stuck in this stuff too.

Starting today, resolve to NEVER… EVER deliberately look at porn again. Never forget how awful it makes you feel afterwards. The porn only has a pull because of the release from masturbation. Have you ever wondered why porn was so appealing before you masturbate, and two minutes afterward you are repulsed by it?

Whenever prayer isn’t providing the stopping power and you feel a fall is unescapable, SKIP THE PORN! If you must masturbate go ahead and do so without the aid of images…not even tame images like underwear or lingerie ads…no exceptions! Any image use at all will have you right back into porn in no time.

This little change in behavior was a bullet right through the heart of my attachment to porn. I’m four plus months clean now and no longer masturbating… praise God!

Your ultimate goal is to live in purity. But breaking this terrible heavy chain will put you more than half way up that mountain! Prayer, frequent confession, God’s grace and G-Rated living will take you the rest of the way. I have a good number of posts on this topic. Check them out.

:cool:
 
Lujack said:
Don’t be afraid. God knows that you’re struggling, and knows that it is a hard struggle. For know, your struggle is enough, because this isn’t a habit that can be broken easily. You’ve already taken the first step of confessing regularly, which means you’re looking to God for aid.

Do your best to avoid occasions of sin, pray frequently, keep a rosary or a bible or a crucifix near your bed. Don’t despair that you can’t break the addiction right away, but set intermediate goals, such as:

I may masturbate this week, but I will watch no pornography.
I will masturbate less this week than I did last week.

Keep fighting the good fight. Dedicate yourself to God, and you cannot be beaten.
Click to expand...
Great advice… I tried and failed miserably for years to stop both (pornography & masturbation) at the same time. Stopping the porn first and allowing the masturbation to fade from my life worked like charm. These must be treated as two different sins.

You must kill the porn with a sledgehammer, then gently cut back the food source for your masturbation habit with G-Rated living and you can starve it out of existence.

👍
 
Imustdecrease,
I very much sympathize with your problem. First get rid of the porn and resolve to avoid it. I had your problem too, and found the daily rosary was the cure. I did not believe it would work. But it did and brought new peace and strength to my life. I hope and pray it works for you too. Focus on positive activities and avoid times when you are alone and might start thinking of sinning. Getting involved in some volunteer works of charity, visiting the sick,etc. can also help you to realize the fundamental dignity of us all and nurture growth towards good habits. That was my problem in the past, that I was too involved with myself, when I could have been channeling myself in the positive directions of helping others. If you can get to Mass on a daily basis, that can make a big difference too.
I notice one of the previous posters counselled relaxation. This is very important and it calls to mind what a very holy priest once said to me in confession: When confronted with some strong temptation, simply brush it off and turn your mind elsewhere. If we focus on our own weakness and remind ourselves of our sinful past, it weakens our resolve to improve. It also weakens us in resisting temptation. The power of sexual sins is that we don’t really believe it’s possible to be chaste. That is a lie. As Jesus said “With God all things are possible”. I think there are some support groups within the Church that you might consider joining if you are comfortable with that sort of thing. One thing is certain, you are far from alone. God bless and I hope this helps. My prayers are with you.

C.
 
this is my 2 cent take on masturbation…on the most basic of levels it feels really good, and it can be difficult to give it up because of the brief physical pleasure and sense of physical relaxation that it provides. That physical reward is very reinforcing, which then leads one to continue the behavior. Before you know it, things are out of control. That is why when the desire to do it sets in some people have problems brushing it off with distraction–because deep down inside they *want *to experience that physical release and it is hard to find an immediate substitute for that release (hope this makes sense). It is a matter of training the self to turn to prayer and distracting activities as that release. Giving up this habit takes a lot of practice and devotion, but with the grace of God it does happen.

And, OP, you have some legitimate past issues that also contribute to the cross you are experiencing here. If you try to work those through with Catholic counseling, which you may very well be doing, you may find healing in that way, too. Trying to figure out what is causing your driving behaviors with this matter may help you to ultimately achieve freedom from the grip of these behaviors. It is a matter of figuring out what needs porn and masturbation are filling, beyond the physical release. Most importantly, you must stop beating yourself up–accept that God loves you and that he will help you with this. Be patient and persevere just as our Lord did during his Passion. His mercy and love abounds and he is there for you no matter how many baby steps it takes for you to address this problem.

God Bless you.
 
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