MY adopted sister

[Sagefrakrobatik]

i remeber telling some of the members a few months back that i have a sister and that i am getting reunited with her. Well we’ve met and since than she has met a good portion of are family. The only problem is that the parents she has now she absolutely dispises and she wants to live her with my mom. Unfortunately my mom doesnt want to take the risk. Not because she doesnt want to meddle in the buisness between her and her adopted parents but because she is afraid she will leave a mess or she will be as stubborn as my current sister who took my mom’s car and got it towed. Later i will pst two emails she has sent me so you get a better understanding.

 

[Sagefrakrobatik]

part 1;

So I know this is a lot to ask, but I was wondering if maybe I could
stay with
you, mom and sarah for a little bit. I can’t live in this house
anymore. I
can’t take this anymore. I’m done being abused. I might go to NY to
stay with a
friend or down to Columbus or Athens. I don’t really know. It just
sucks
because I have a job here. I’m gonna see if maybe I could rent an
apartment for
really cheap for a couple of months somewhere. I have no idea what to
do or
where to go. I hate it here so much I’m in hell. I would call but I
know you
are sleeping and who knows what sarah is doin and mom is sleepin too
but get
back to me asap if you can

you know,
all my life I always thought that if she ever knew what really went on
here she
would be pissed. Then after I met her i didn’t want her to know because
I
didn’t want to upset her. I never ever thought that she wouldn’t
believe me. I
hate my life. I HATE that I’m adopted…I HATE that mom feels that way I
hate
that you two got to spend your life with her and I got ditched. I wish
I was
dead. I’m not going to kill myself or anything but when I’m dead the
pain will
stop. I feel like I’m drowning and I can’t breathe. I just want the
****ing
pain to stop. Quoting David Edwards poca762003@yahoo.com:

Im sorry about that…she was pretty causual yet skeptical about the
whole thing. SHe has a hard time believing that you REALLY dont get
along with your folks.

any advice???

 

[DAWNCUROLE]

I know you must be concerned about your sister. You don’t say how old she is or you are. I am probably biased because I am the mom of two adopted children. I can tell you that both my children have told me at various times that they wish they could live with their biological families because they feel things would be better. And I have no doubt things would be different. But sooner or later reality would set in and your sister will see that your mom has many of the same rules as her adopted parents. Maybe a little different but the basic idea of keeping your sister safe. Your sister talks about abuse, well if she is over 18 she should get an apartment and move out and if she is under 18 she needs to tell a counselor or teacher so they can contact authorities. My daughter has reported every family she lived with (14, including us) for abuse. But everytime it was checked out (with us) it was false. Remember adopted parents go through many, many checks before they are allowed to adopt. Once she told a teacher we were beating her. But it was becasue she did not want the conquences for staying out late without permission.
There is a group called Convenant House that will help teenagers (15-19?) to find a safe place to stay and offer counceling as well. There are probably a lot of things that you do not know about the situation. I suggest you pray for her and suggest covenant house to her. You probably need to share this with someone (an adult) you trust to help you help your sister.

 

[Sagefrakrobatik]

Thanks for the advice. Thats kind of Ironic. BTW im 23 and she is 22 she just recently got her degree. THe problem is that she just started a job about a month or so ago and i has been her first job since she worked at Arby’s for a couple months a few years ago. i believe prior to working at Arby’s. I just think she needs a little support being that its her first step into the real world. It would also help if wanted to have a relationship with my mom. For her to call. I try to tell her that relationships dont just happen they evolve over time. TO be honest. with concerns for her parents, i dont know how someone can have so much animosty for people they were brought up by? I asked to spend the weekend or something over her house and she told me her parents wouldnt let her.