My adult baptism...telling my parents

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skippykerrie

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Hi everyone…

A little advice, if possible.

I’m about to start RCIA and very excited. I have been going to mass for nearly a year with my Catholic Husband, we had our marriage blessed early this year and living a catholic life and I’m very happy about it. A little difficulty I have is telling my family. I just don’t know the best way to tell them.

My Father’s family are Catholic, but him and his Brothers fell away during early adult life.

My Parents ‘had’ me before marriage and I was seen as a ‘Devil’ in my Grandma and her ‘friends’ eyes. This was because, I was told, that I was born under sin so I must be a ‘devil’. She doesn’t like me I don’t think, until this day I feel uncomfortable around her.

Despite this though, I was lucky to have a Great Aunt who was Catholic. I spent a lot of time with her, growing up and its because of her that I have had the seed of faith planted inside. I used to ask her and her friends who were Nuns a lot of questions and now it seems its my time to enter the church.

Because of all the issues surrounding my birth, and the fact my Father has turned his back on the church, my Mother feels very uncomfortable about everything. She doesn’t seem to have an opinion, but has always mentioned to me that she is worried her and my Dad will be separated after death, because he is baptised and she isn’t. She will probably think that about me too?

My Husband gave me the advice of saying that I’m starting to research the faith and see where it leads me. I thought about this though, and I think it’s just delaying the truth.

I just wrote on here, hoping to get some advice or to see if anyone has a similar situation.

Thank you in advance for any help given, I really do appreciate it.
 
First, welcome to the Church and God bless you. I’m a convert too and had to do the RCIA class. It was a real learning experience. Pray the Rosary and specifically ask God for guidance in finding the words and the time to tell your family your intentions. You’ve got till next year at Easter, so there is plenty of time. Keep coming her for answers but be advised, some “answers” are really just opinions and not full facts.

I’d buy a copy of Catholicism For Dummies by Father Trigillio. It is a really clear and simple explanation of most of the things you need to know. You should also get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church but it is stiff and more advanced than for beginners. That is why I suggest the For Dummies book.

Glenda
 
Telling my parents was one of the hardest things I have ever done. However, I just didn’t want to live a lie. They did not take it well – my mother was in tears, and my father wrote me a LONG letter about his disappointment. However, it did get better over the years.

I will pray that you find the right way to tell them without too much of a delay. They might not take it well, but it certainly better for them to find out were something to happen to you and their only finding out at your funeral!
 
Telling my parents was one of the hardest things I have ever done. However, I just didn’t want to live a lie. They did not take it well – my mother was in tears, and my father wrote me a LONG letter about his disappointment. However, it did get better over the years.

I will pray that you find the right way to tell them without too much of a delay. They might not take it well, but it certainly better for them to find out were something to happen to you and their only finding out at your funeral!
Anyone upset by “issues” surrounding your birth is a very sad person, and not behaving as a Christian should. Welcome, I wish you the best!
 
Congrats!

I suppose if their opinions matter very much to you I would sit them down and ease them into the conversation with coffee and treats. When I told my parents I was entering RCIA I cornered them separately and sprung it on them off-handedly; I do not recommend this.

There’s also this big red book written by the U.S, archbishops and it treats most of the parts of the Catechism in a textbook way, I guess like Catholicism for Dummies. If they’re having trouble with it, try watching a few Fr. Robert Barron videos on YouTube around them. My dad became interested despite himself and admitted there were great points. Or Pope Francis is always doing something…the other day I saw a video of him at this interfaith conference and his humility struck me, so I shared it on Facebook and people I didn’t think would be interested were. So what I mean is, insist that they take the good with the bad, if they only want to see the bad at first.
 
I’ve always been a bold, head strong person. So other people’s opinions have never bothered me. I just called my mom and told her I was converting to Catholicism. When I would go back home to visit, family would ask me about going to church and I would tell them that I was going to a Catholic Church. I was straight forward and I didn’t allow people to be rude or hurtful to me. When someone would start in on me I would tell them that I am a grown, married woman who is capable of making her own decisions. That always shut them up. 🙂
 
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