My atheistic friend as agreed to attend RCIA with me... Now WHAT?

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I’ve been casually inviting her to come check out Catholicism (because she’s only ever experienced fundamentalist protestant Christianity and feels very strongly opposed to Christianity as a whole as a result). It’s been about a decade since she last set foot in a church of any sort.

Any advice on how to help her out? I take it as very encouraging that she’s even willing to come one day with us. And I’ve stressed that… whatever she feels, asks, etc. won’t bother me and won’t change where I’m headed or our friendship.

I’ve got a lot of goals. Ideally, I’d like to see all of my family and extended family and close friends converted (and anyone else I can pick up along the way 🙂 :o ).

In addition to all of my children, myself and my husband.

It’s a big goal, but I feel so strongly about the Church and the good it brings to a life/the world, that I want to share with everyone else that I care about.

Any suggestions you have would be 👍
 
Welcome to the journey…

I’m on the RCIA team for our local parish. Obviously your friend has some interest or desire to learn more about Christianity and Catholicism. The initial few weeks of RCIA are what we call the inquiry stage where participants are encouraged to ask the RCIA team and pastor any questions they might have about Christianity, the Catholic Church, and our beliefs and practices. Let your friend know that there won’t be any pressure to continue if they are aren’t comfortable with what they are hearing. The path into the Catholic Church must be taken voluntarily.

You indicate your friend is an atheist. One of the first talks our pastor usually does for the RCIA inquiry classes is to speak about the proofs for the existence of God. Hopefully your local parish will have a similar program. If so, this will be a good opportunity for your friend to ask questions and voice any doubts they may have.

BTW, I would suggest that your best approach with your friend is to be low key initially with respect to evangelizing them. Just show your joy as you move toward full communion with Christ and His Church. Overt evangelizing can sometimes backfire, especially with people who aren’t quite ready to accept God into their lives. Sometimes it takes a while for he Holy Spirit to work on someone to make them receptive to God’s message. We’ve had people in RCIA who’ve initially resisted the call, but have come back years later to be confirmed.

Yours in Christ,
 
Greetings Knotanes,

My suggestion is let your friend go to RCIA. Let her ask the questions and be the one to initiate conversation regarding the Catholic Church. If after a few weeks she has still attended RCIA, then I would casually inquire of your friend what they are holding in their minds concerning what they are learning in the RCIA classes.

I would also suggest that you pray for your friend.

God bless.
Anathama Sit
 
I don’t think you should do anything. It sounds incredible that she wants to come and see what goes on there. Let it speak for itself and if she wants to discuss things, answer her questions. Also, just live your faith. That speaks volumes.
 
I don’t think you should do anything. It sounds incredible that she wants to come and see what goes on there. Let it speak for itself and if she wants to discuss things, answer her questions. Also, just live your faith. That speaks volumes.
This about sums up all that needs said.
 
This about sums up all that needs said.
Agreed 👍

Honestly, I don’t want to screw anything up. That she’s actually interested kind of floors me.

I just really want the experience to be the best of all possible worlds, in the hopes she’ll see what I see. But, turning it over to God in faith and respectful silence is probably the best path.

I’m praying for her and the RCIA team. And me, that I won’t say anything stupid to foul up an improbably good moment. 👍 😃
 
Agreed 👍

Honestly, I don’t want to screw anything up. That she’s actually interested kind of floors me.

I just really want the experience to be the best of all possible worlds, in the hopes she’ll see what I see. But, turning it over to God in faith and respectful silence is probably the best path.

I’m praying for her and the RCIA team. And me, that I won’t say anything stupid to foul up an improbably good moment. 👍 😃
Greetings Knotanes,

I will be holding you and your friend in my prayers. I would be interested in knowing the outcome of this situation. I would ask that you would provide an update should an update need to be provided.

God bless.
Anathama Sit
 
Greetings Knotanes,

I will be holding you and your friend in my prayers. I would be interested in knowing the outcome of this situation. I would ask that you would provide an update should an update need to be provided.

God bless.
Anathama Sit
Thank you. I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m really surprised she’s interested in going with us…even passively. I will be praying hard that this is an uplifting experience for her, as I know she’s in need of one these days.

It would be above and beyond my expectations if she could take away some good food for thought.

I’ll update when there’s anything worth updating, but it’s a very hopeful and encouraging development.

🙂
 
Thank you. I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m really surprised she’s interested in going with us…even passively. I will be praying hard that this is an uplifting experience for her, as I know she’s in need of one these days.

It would be above and beyond my expectations if she could take away some good food for thought.

I’ll update when there’s anything worth updating, but it’s a very hopeful and encouraging development.

🙂
Greetings Knotanes,

Yes I will concur it is a very hopeful and encouraging situation. I am asking some of my friends to say Mass for you and her.

God bless.
Anathama Sit
 
I don’t think you should do anything. It sounds incredible that she wants to come and see what goes on there. Let it speak for itself and if she wants to discuss things, answer her questions. Also, just live your faith. That speaks volumes.
👍👍👍

And let the Holy Spirit guide her.

God bless

jesus g
 
We’re kind of in the countdown for RCIA this weekend. This week has been kind of difficult.

I’m worried she won’t want to go and I’m trying not to make her angry with me. Which is no small feat, considering her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend called me (of all people) after they got into a domestic tiff that involved the local police.

I tried to be kind to both of them, with respect to the fact they might patch things up. Honestly, I’m not very good at being “on the spot” with regard to other people’s troubles. Usually, if there is a fight, there is wrong on all sides. I tried to avoid taking sides, and simply told the truth… which was, that I wasn’t qualified to help them sort it out. There’s obviously a major communication gap and both have very troubled pasts. So, all I could say was that a professional should be involved in helping them communicate and work out the complicated issues behind their near-constant quarreling.

Because I really couldn’t say anything more helpful. If they were believers or involved in a church, I’d say go to your priest or pastor. But, they aren’t. And are living together after knowing each other a very short time, unmarried. Which is, in most if not all cases, a recipe for disaster.

So far, a mutual friend says she’s not angry with me. I probably talked to him for half an hour trying to keep things calm.

Anyway, I’m hoping this won’t damage her interest in RCIA, but I’m definitely on eggshells. And it’s really hard to be contacted by someone in a situation like that. Hoping she sticks with her plans to go with us. We’ll see.
 
UPDATE: I’m so thrilled! They are going to counseling separately with plans to do counseling together when the time is right, and he is moving into his own residence while they sort themselves out!

Thank GOD. Praise GOD. Honestly, my prayers are answered for my friend.

I don’t know what the future holds and we’re still kind of up in the air on RCIA, but I really feel God is getting his 2 cents in on the situation. God is working in their lives.

Please, please, keep praying for them. They will remain in my prayers along with everyone else I care about and those friends I don’t yet know.

👍
 
No such luck.

I had high hopes, but this is over my head. Also, this person has no intention of changing at the moment. I’m moving on for my own mental health. Will keep her in my prayers, but I cannot handle the level of immaturity and overall craziness this person brings into life. 😦
 
No such luck.

I had high hopes, but this is over my head. Also, this person has no intention of changing at the moment. I’m moving on for my own mental health. Will keep her in my prayers, but I cannot handle the level of immaturity and overall craziness this person brings into life. 😦
Hey you did your best. Good work.👍👍

God bless you

jesus g
 
No such luck.

I had high hopes, but this is over my head. Also, this person has no intention of changing at the moment. I’m moving on for my own mental health. Will keep her in my prayers, but I cannot handle the level of immaturity and overall craziness this person brings into life. 😦
Greetings Knotanes,

This sounds good. I shall pray for your friend and her significant other. Sounds like you made a good decision.

I pray that RCIA is a blessing for you.

God bless.
Anathama Sit
 
I’ve been casually inviting her to come check out Catholicism (because she’s only ever experienced fundamentalist protestant Christianity and feels very strongly opposed to Christianity as a whole as a result). It’s been about a decade since she last set foot in a church of any sort.

Any advice on how to help her out? I take it as very encouraging that she’s even willing to come one day with us. And I’ve stressed that… whatever she feels, asks, etc. won’t bother me and won’t change where I’m headed or our friendship.

I’ve got a lot of goals. Ideally, I’d like to see all of my family and extended family and close friends converted (and anyone else I can pick up along the way 🙂 :o ).

In addition to all of my children, myself and my husband.

It’s a big goal, but I feel so strongly about the Church and the good it brings to a life/the world, that I want to share with everyone else that I care about.

Any suggestions you have would be 👍
that’s great! 🙂 what I would suggest is this… let her ask any questions, be very patient and never debate/argue, use resources there are many apologetics books/websites etc… and just show God’s love to her as well through your actions.

God bless 🙂
 
I’ve been casually inviting her to come check out Catholicism (because she’s only ever experienced fundamentalist protestant Christianity and feels very strongly opposed to Christianity as a whole as a result). It’s been about a decade since she last set foot in a church of any sort.

Any advice on how to help her out? I take it as very encouraging that she’s even willing to come one day with us. And I’ve stressed that… whatever she feels, asks, etc. won’t bother me and won’t change where I’m headed or our friendship.
I’m an atheist, and I just started the inquiry classes. The typical “proofs” of God presented by Christians will not impress the average atheist, so I’d steer clear of those. They seem more fit for the believer than the non-believer.

There’s a lot of background that got me there (Levinas and Zygmunt Bauman’s work on morality, for example, and Karen Armstrong’s *History of God *and History of Myth)), but, I read the Catechism of the Catholic Church because of someone’s comment about the universal destination of goods–especially parts 2, 3, and 4 of the Catechism, and especially the section on the Ten Commandments. Then I read some of the social teachings of the church–in particular, Rerum Novarum and Economic Justice for All. After that, I read Richard Rohr’s Why Be Catholic, which is spectacular. At that point, I was locked in–I knew it was reasonable to give this a chance. This wasn’t the hate-filled, reverend-Phelps, Westboro-baptists’ god-hates-fags god that my atheism is aimed at, but something else and something good. Currently, I’m reading Rohr’s Radical Grace, and Thomas Merton’s New Seeds of Contemplation. Next, I’ll work on Seven Story Mountain and perhaps Day’s The Long Loneliness.

Essential has been the realization that, frankly, and unfortunately, Catholics are typically not a good indication of what Catholicism is all about, and that Catholicism is NOTHING like the evangelical christianity I grew up around, and that the Catholic God is not an old man who lives on a cloud, but something ineffable and unimaginable that our minds and words can only struggle to make sense of. Thus, for me, to think of God as Love and Truth makes more sense than to think of him as some kind of human. I don’t believe in the old man in the sky, but I *do *believe in Love and Truth!

So, if you’re dealing with a staunch atheists–which is what I am–then I suspect it will take more than RCIA alone. Something that may help–it helps me–is that the atheist doesn’t have to give up his/her atheism to become Catholic. He or she just has to realize that perhaps there’s an approach to God that is outside the bounds of his or her atheism. Problematic for this is the fact that the Catholic God and the Evangelical God are both called “God,” but they’re certainly not the same thing! I actually try to avoid using the word “God,” because it’s an obstacle at this point–it always evokes in me a sense of that cruel God of the evangelicals.
 
Something that may help–it helps me–is that the atheist doesn’t have to give up his/her atheism to become Catholic.
Greetings Jocko_VT,

I have a question. To be and believe as a Catholic one must be able to say the following statement and believe it with the grace of light and faith.

I believe in One God, the Father the Almighty…

Antheism says that there is no God. Angnosticism says there may be a God but we don’t know who He is. Catholicism is very certain who that God is and knows who that God is by that God revealing Himself through Sacred Scripture, Sacred Tradition, and the Magisterium of the Catholic Church.

I like how you are saying that you believe in Love and Truth. For God is Love and God is Truth. You are off to a good start.

I will be keeping you in my prayers as you go through RCIA class.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit
 
I have a question. To be and believe as a Catholic one must be able to say the following statement and believe it with the grace of light and faith.

I believe in One God, the Father the Almighty…
I’m not positive what your question is, but I think you’re asking if I can honestly recite the creeds. I think I can. But, I’m going to sort that out during RCIA.
Antheism says that there is no God. Angnosticism says there may be a God but we don’t know who He is.
Atheism means “I don’t believe in god.” It may or may not mean, “There is no god.” Agnosticism says “we* can not *know.” But there’s a lot of flexibility in those terms, and they are used even more flexibly. I’m of the sort that “I don’t believe in god,” but that applies to a God which is not the God spoken of in the Catechism! Thus, My atheism, perhaps, stops where the Catholic God begins. My atheism is built around the evangelical christian god, as well as the gods of Olympus and the Roman Pantheon and the like.
Catholicism is very certain who that God is and knows who that God is by that God revealing Himself through Sacred Scripture, Sacred Tradition, and the Magisterium of the Catholic Church.
Certain that there is a God, yes. I’ve never known of the Catholic God. Evangelicals have a god that I deny. Catholics that I’ve know have never presented their God to me–I had to stumble upon that God almost by accident in my mid-30s? It will take me some time to develop any level of certainty, and that certainty will inevitably, I think, always be tainted by some level of doubt.

But, how well does Catholicism know that God? Take the Catechism:

Paragraph 40: “Since our knowledge of God is limited, our language about him is equally so. We can name God only by taking creatures as our starting point, and in accordance with our limited human ways of knowing and thinking.”

Paragraph 42: “We must…continually purify our language of everything in it that is limited, imagebound or imperfect, if we are not to confuse our image of God–‘the inexpressible, in comprehensible, the invisible, the ungraspable’–with our human representations. Our human words always fall short of the mystery of God.”

Paragraph 43: “…we must recall that ‘between Creator and creature no similitude can be expressed without implying an even greater dissimilitude’; and that 'concerning God, we cannot grasp what he is, but only what he is not, and how other beings stand in relation to him.”

Thomas Merton, in New Seeds of Doubt, speaking about contemplation:

p. 14-15: "Contemplation is no pain-killer. What a holocaust takes place in this steady burning to ashes of old worn-out words, cliches, slogans, rationalizations! The worst of it is that even apparently *holy *conceptions are consumed along with all the rest. It is a terrible breaking and burning of idols, a purification of the sanctuary, so that no graven thing may occupy the place that God has commanded to be left empty: the center, the existential alter which simply ‘is.’
“In the end the contemplative suffers the anguish of realizing that he no longer knows what God is. He may or may not mercifully realize that…this is a great gain, because ‘God is not a what,’ not a ‘thing.’…It sees that there is no ‘what’ that can be called God. There is ‘no such thing’ as God because God is neither a ‘what’ nor a ‘thing’ but a pure ‘Who.’”

I think the Church recognizes well that it does not know that God well. This is essential for me in my quest. God is not an old man in the sky. He does not shape the world with human hands, though we may think of it in that way because we “take creatures as our starting point.” Michelangelo’s image of God in the Sistine Chapel is not God, nor a true image of God, but a way of thinking about God, restricted by the fact that we are mere humans. I think Catholicism understands that. That’s my point in my previous post.
I like how you are saying that you believe in Love and Truth. For God is Love and God is Truth. You are off to a good start.

I will be keeping you in my prayers as you go through RCIA class.
I appreciate it. I’ll need it!
 
Greetings Jocko_VT,

That last post was quite informative. I thought I had asked a question, but I see that you inferred it.

I wanted to see what you were talking about. Somehow I understand what you are saying. My prayer life has taken a completely new turn, at times I do not pray to God, I merely am in His Presence, not thinking, but just being. There are no words or feelings in this place, somehow it is Full of God. I think you will be able to understand what I am saying, it is unusual for an atheist to have this understanding, but it is most refreshing.

This is not to say that I do not pray the “traditional” way at all, it’s just that my prayer is moving more into Presence of God then a time that is filled with needless words or images.

No doubt this will draw some negative comments, but I am posting it regardless.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit
 
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