My aunt-in-law

[AmberDale]

Okay so my husband’s aunt, who has become like a serrogate mother of sorts. Her sister (his mom) passed away a long time ago and she finds it is her duty to help her kids/grandkids.

Anyway: We love her very much. She said something disturbing the other day.
This is NOT a political thread in any way, but politics did get brought up. OF course my husband and I pray for the new president-elect and hope God will guide his decisions. She is very supportive of him… actually saying (as a 60 year old who has been Catholic all her life and went to parochial schools)…“Not all abortion is bad guys. When there is no hope at all, the church should allow it.” (she was a high risk RN in labor/delivery/highrisk ward for 30+ years)… “It would be easier than watching someone grow to love a baby for 9 months and then have them taken away from them”… AND she said while looking at me “When there are women who already have children, they shouldn’t put their lives at risk for another baby”…

I have health problems (kidneys, will need dialysis someday. Been at 20% function for 2 years)…anyway… I know I have health problems. Some of my medicine (coumadin for a blood clot) would seriously harm a new baby. So my husband and I avoid, a lot. NFP is what we try, but 95% of the time I’m not up for doing anything anyway. sigh

So basically if I get pregnant (which my doctors said we would just immediately stop meds, as usual and get on other meds as usual), I should get an abortion.

What to say to her? We said “We disagree with you. WE are not permitted to even think in that manner, as Catholics. Even if we were, it would be the farthest thing from our mind”. ARGH!!

I’m a convert, and it really bothers me when she says this stuff. She once told my husband and I (after baby 1) that I should get my tubes tied. I wasn’t Catholic, but still didn’t want to do that. That way DH didn’t have to have a vasectomy (who was Catholic), and when/if I died he could have more kids with someone else.

smacks forehead I know she means well, but sometimes it’s like…OH REALLY!! Like Amy Poehler and that guy from SNL do those OH REALLY skits…

You would rather I kill my baby, than follow God? REALLY!
Blarg.

I love her dearly, but it makes me wonder why she believes this kind of stuff.

 

[iluvmybabies]

My mother whom is a Catholic, asked me and demanded I get my tubes tied after baby #3…I looked at her and told her she was crazy! Of course this was after giving birth to my child so I couldn’t help myself, I was all ready in a really hurting mood!! I told her if it was GOD’s will for me to have more children I was not going to interfere…IF it wasn’t then so be it…

When I was pg with my second child, the doctor said my baby was going to have health problems??? I was like HUH? And the doctor said “it’s early on, you can still have an abortion and not deal with a sick baby!!” I was 20 years old…My husband-now EXHUSBAND, told me I should do it. That it was for the best for both of us. “Why would you want to bring a sick baby to suffer in this cruel world?” I looked at him and was like, are you freaking serious? Are you seriously telling me this about my baby? OUR baby? He continued, “we are young we can have many more children and maybe they will all be healthy!” I looked at him with teary eyes and screamed NO…as loud as I could.

I couldn’t believe him…but what can you expect from a FAKE CATHOLIC…Whom says he believes in GOD but not that GOD created the world or anything else…

I told him if GOD sends me a child with problems it was HIS will and I will bare my cross and love my child!!

Of course thanks to GOD’s mercy, all of my children have been born perfectly fine without problems…AND I told my then husband, how he would have felt if I would have listened to his idiotic advise and destroyed my baby just to make him happy?

He cried for months after that…but because we were in troubled waters all ready that helped push the boundary…

Sometimes people can be cruel with such things… I told my mother a couple of weeks ago if she realized that any kind of interference with the natural process of sex and love making-reproduction is a sin… She told me “yes but!!” I was like but what? Not enough money, not enough health, not enough food?? I was like if it’s GOD’s will how could you deny it?

It seems that some people just don’t understand you know?

 

[AmberDale]

I completely understand how some people don’t understand or just don’t “get it”. It just frustrates me so much.
My mother, God bless her, who is NOT Catholic! Believes in God/Jesus just doesn’t do “that church thing” Mentioned one time to me such a thing, and I explained it to her. Now she doesn’t say it. I know she respects me! How?? She, of all people, told me I was a wonderful mother and would do wonderful with whatever God gave me. I was so very shocked. We didn’t have a good relationship growing up, but it’s getting better slowly.

 

[LSK]

The next time she says something like that just very gently and lovingly touch her arm, look her in the eye and say, “We have already told you that we disagree with you on this subject. Now you also need to know that whenever you bring it up, it feels like you are sticking a dagger into my heart. I know you would never, ever deliberately hurt me so I figured you really don’t know how much those words do just that - so can we please talk about something else?”.

I have discovered that people who love me do not want to hurt me. If they do not know they are hurting me, I need to tell them. If I do not have the courage to say, directly, “When you say that, it hurts me so much” then I need to suck it up and not get all bent out of shape because someone has a different opinion from my own. Since I do get all bent out of shape and I hate to suck it up, I find it easier to tell them.

It is amazing how many topics of conversation there ARE out there that do not cause people pain!