My BDay Request

[joanofarc2008]

So for those of you who don’t know my mother is a Protestant. She has all but abandoned her old faith and goes to Church with my Dad on important days like Christmas and Easter. My Dad is Catholic and finally about a year ago just got back to the Church. He used to attend Mom’s Church for decades where we were raised. So this has been a point of contention between my mom and I. This year my mom asked me what i wanted for my birthday. I told her i wanted her to go to RCIA. I told her it didn’t mean she had to take the Sacraments or join the Church but that I wanted her to go learn about the Church that she has refused for all these years to join since I think there have been many misconceptions. I am still waiting for her answer. I could use prayers. I could use advice.

 

[JRKH]

So for those of you who don’t know my mother is a Protestant. She has all but abandoned her old faith and goes to Church with my Dad on important days like Christmas and Easter. My Dad is Catholic and finally about a year ago just got back to the Church. He used to attend Mom’s Church for decades where we were raised. So this has been a point of contention between my mom and I. This year my mom asked me what i wanted for my birthday. I told her i wanted her to go to RCIA. I told her it didn’t mean she had to take the Sacraments or join the Church but that I wanted her to go learn about the Church that she has refused for all these years to join since I think there have been many misconceptions. I am still waiting for her answer. I could use prayers. I could use advice.

Well - she asked what you want and you told her… You don’t say how long you have been waiting for an answer, and she wouldn’t be able to attend RCIA till the fall (I assume)…
If you are afraid that you might have made the tensions worse, then I would suggest calling or writing your mom and giving her an out. That you know you asked a lot and that it was unfair to put her on the spot like that. Then just go from there.
Do you live close enough to do as already suggested - Go out to lunch - things like that?

Peace
James

 

[TheRealJuliane]

So for those of you who don’t know my mother is a Protestant. She has all but abandoned her old faith and goes to Church with my Dad on important days like Christmas and Easter. My Dad is Catholic and finally about a year ago just got back to the Church. He used to attend Mom’s Church for decades where we were raised. So this has been a point of contention between my mom and I. This year my mom asked me what i wanted for my birthday. I told her i wanted her to go to RCIA. I told her it didn’t mean she had to take the Sacraments or join the Church but that I wanted her to go learn about the Church that she has refused for all these years to join since I think there have been many misconceptions. I am still waiting for her answer. I could use prayers. I could use advice.

I am glad that your mother goes to church with your dad. I will pray for you. Maybe she will say Yes!!

 

[faithfully]

Funny, I just had a conversation with my priest about DH. I was asking about him going to RCIA just to go. Not necessarily to commit to anything beyond that.

My priest said that plenty of people go through RCIA, and are just NOT READY.

That I NEED TO REMEMBER this is to be a calling for them.

Careful you don’t push so hard, you push her right out of the church. But PRAY!!!

 

[joanofarc2008]

Perhaps you can reconsider? You could ask your mom to go to Mass and then out to lunch with you which might be lovely! Or maybe asking her to join hands for a short prayer and then go out for coffee? Then you can blend a little bit of your faith in with a fun outing. By telling your mother to attend RCIA you are essentially telling her you want her to change herself as a birthday gift to you. Seems like a lot and might be taken the wrong way depending on your mom. Hope this helps a little, happy birthday and best wishes!

I live in New Orleans. My mother lives in New Hampshire. We have done this in the past. The situation has been revisited and the issues fall around things she believes about the Church from her mother, my maternal grandmother who has long since passed away. At this point there is not much left to change. She is not attending her Church. She is attending my father’s Church only on special occasions so really she has no current relationship with God at all as far any organized religion. Now my brother is getting married after having been baptized in an outdoor wedding and my mother sees no issue with the fact that my brother does not understand God’s role in a marriage - whether he chooses Catholicism or not he has rejected Christianity in his marriage altogether. So yes it has become a very large issue. I think asking her to sit in a class which she has done in the past with me in Social Justice classes and enjoyed them should not be an issue except for stubborness and time.

You don’t say how long you have been waiting for an answer, and she wouldn’t be able to attend RCIA till the fall (I assume)…

My birthday is in a month - I am making the assumption that if she does not want to go that she or my father will be trying to find out what I want instead.

 

[Lochias]

I don’t see anything wrong with the request. If you and your mom have a good relationship (as it sounds from these posts that you do), then it shouldn’t result in anything awful even if she says no. Like another poster said, she asked, and you told her. I’ll be prayin’ for both of ya’ll.

 

[Irishmom2]

Well, another way to look at it is that she hasn’t actually said no yet either.
Pray for her, and I will too. I hope you get what you wish for. May God bless you and guide you.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Well, another way to look at it is that she hasn’t actually said no yet either.
Pray for her, and I will too. I hope you get what you wish for. May God bless you and guide you.

Thank you for your prayers. I have not brought it back up and don’t plan to. I have placed the proverbial ball in her court at this point and think it is best to leave it there.

 

[Lochias]

Thank you for your prayers. I have not brought it back up and don’t plan to. I have placed the proverbial ball in her court at this point and think it is best to leave it there.

Indeed. All we can do, is all we can do. At least you know you’ve done what you can. Don’t let up in the prayer department…Satan will push one way, and it’s up to us to push back.

 

[SummerSmiles]

Well, she asked and you answered truthfully. I think that’s fine as long as you made it clear that you just want her to go in order to learn and get information, not to commit to anything. Beyond that, all you can do is continue to pray for her. As someone else pointed out, she hasn’t said “no” yet, so perhaps there is still time for her to warm up to the idea.