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Sailor_Kenshin
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You could say the same thing about ‘black’ pride. They are not uni-cultural either.
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strngrnrth
Guest
Exactly. There is really no such thing as race the way most Americans understand it. It’s an arbitrary social construct. Ethnicity, however, is the quality of belonging to a group – period. Everyone has somethng in common with someone, therefore everyone is a member of a group, therefore everyone is – equally – ethnic. My heritage is mixed, largely Irish but with many other ethnicities mixed in. Some of them are currently treated as white but wouldn’t have been a century ago, when the style was different. To treat someone better or worse based on such a thing is both cruel and ridiculous. We all agree on that much. Would you want to try telling this woman that and see how she reacts? If she really had been a good friend for a long time, she may snap and be her old self again.
As for respecting her beliefs, no, you do not have to respect all beliefs. Lies and sick ideas aren’t as good as truth. People are equal. Ideas are unequal. That is what debate exists for: to let the better ideas defeat the worse ones.
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lovesMary
Guest
I could only stay friends with someone who held an opinion or belief that was radically different than my own, if I had some other big commonality. I would also need them to keep quiet about this opinion.
An example of this is my friend who is pro-choice. I radically differ on that subject, but my friend and I don’t talk about it. Also, she is a good and loving person in many other ways.
An example of this is my friend who is pro-choice. I radically differ on that subject, but my friend and I don’t talk about it. Also, she is a good and loving person in many other ways.
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deb1
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My own opinion(let me stress that this is MY opinion) is that most African Americans have no way of knowing what part of Africa their ancestors originated from. Apparently, slave owners didn’t always keep the type of records that are necessary for genealogical research. So, it makes sense for African Americans to have an all encompassing black pride, whereas it would seem silly for white people to do so.
Most white people can trace the individual country that their ancestors are from.
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Sailor_Kenshin
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Racism in any form is abhorrent. It doesn’t matter whether it’s black racism against white people, or vice versa.
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Ana
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Yes, this is another reason I am a little confused. I have never really not associated someone because of their “beliefs,” it would be more isolated to behaviours. For, example a good friend of mine for many years was an athiest (he has since become a believer) and a favorite Aunt of mine is pro choice. I don’t know why I this is different, but it really sticks in my craw.
I love her, but I HATE what she represents.
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Ana
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I think it has a lot to do with my cousin’s baby, and the rift in my own family that is going on right now because of racism. It really really bothers me that this precious little baby, not even born yet, is already hated. An innocent baby.
She knows that I have friends of different races, she doesn’t know yet about my cousins baby. I haven’t told them because I won’t cast pearl before swine. She has assured me that she would be polite to any one at my home that is of a different race, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I would feel I was keeping a secret from the the other, while she painted a smile on her face and “pretended” to acknowledge the other as an equal.
As for the little one that is coming, I feel like if friend was visiting while lil baby was here, I wouldn’t want her to pretend or do any one any favors. I would rather her get the hell out of my house.
She knows that I have friends of different races, she doesn’t know yet about my cousins baby. I haven’t told them because I won’t cast pearl before swine. She has assured me that she would be polite to any one at my home that is of a different race, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I would feel I was keeping a secret from the the other, while she painted a smile on her face and “pretended” to acknowledge the other as an equal.
As for the little one that is coming, I feel like if friend was visiting while lil baby was here, I wouldn’t want her to pretend or do any one any favors. I would rather her get the hell out of my house.
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Ana
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I guess where I am at now, is would it be wrong to end a friendship based on this. What is my obligation to her as a Christian? Didn’t Jesus eat with sinners? By ending our friendship am I judging her as opposed to her behaviours?
Is my decision to end the friendship because she has offended me personally, or principle? And would it make a difference either way?
Is my decision to end the friendship because she has offended me personally, or principle? And would it make a difference either way?
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Seatuck
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One thing you will have to be concerned about is the protection of an innocent. Is she ever around your family? Can she be trusted to not make offensive statements detrimental to children?I guess where I am at now, is would it be wrong to end a friendship based on this. What is my obligation to her as a Christian? Didn’t Jesus eat with sinners? By ending our friendship am I judging her as opposed to her behaviours?
Is my decision to end the friendship because she has offended me personally, or principle? And would it make a difference either way?
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Ana
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I am not worried about them influencing my children, rather they would be upset by her remarks. But I really think she can keep quiet. The problem is … I don’t think I can. I am finding it harder and harder to pretend I am okay with this. I am far from okay with this.
I am the one who is tempted to make comments. I am the one who is having trouble letting it go. She is upset that I am upset with her and would gladly never bring it up or talk about it again in my presence. But it doesn’t bother me what she “says” its the beliefs and principles behind her words that bother me, and those are there whether she is spewing hatred from her mouth or not.
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Swan
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Okay, I’m thinking as I type, so bear with me. White supremists, as oppossed to folks who hold some sort of racist beliefs (often ones they aren’t even conscious of) are not only conscious of their beliefts, they tend to act on them. And even if that activity is verbal and not physical, it is still violent behavior in that it is intended to cause pain/hurt to another. The rhetoric seems to purposfully condone violence of any nature against races that are inferior. Hate is it’s actual basis. Compared to atheism or pro-choice beliefs, I would say that white supremacy is by far the most harmful of the three. I do anti-racist work and while I can work with whites (I am white, btw) who have some racial bias in an educational “we’re not all at the same place on the path” kind of way, I don’t know if I could do that with an avowed WS.
I truly understand your feelings about not wanting to cut her off because of her beliefs. I think of Jesus telling us to love our enemies but he didn’t tell us we had to spend a lot of time with them. I am not being sarcastic here, btw. You can pray for her and that’s a good idea. I also think of Jesus embracing those on the fringes of society, which WS certainly are. But I wonder about this applying in this case because it is, after all, the WS who seek to marginalize others (non-whites), not the other way around. Does this make sense? And your hurt and anger are understandable. I mean, you think you know someone… And the comment that you aren’t like the others is as much an insult to you as it is to the “others”. The fact that she makes you an exception also shows what a bunch of bull WS is - the base idea is that there are NO expections!
Having said all of that, and having the feeling that you are sincerely trying to do the right thing, I think you should go with your heart. Tell her how you feel, share your anger, disappointment, confusion. And tell her, if this is how you feel, that you’re just not comfortable being around her right now, or as much, or whatever is true for you. Continue to pray about it but don’t feel guilty if you can’t stomach this woman - WS is ugly and decent people are sickened by it. Peace be with you.
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strngrnrth
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Her beliefs are against you, whether she admits it or not. That’s why you can’t be friends with her. You can’t respect gibberish and lies. You can love her and wait for her to get over this – from a safe distance. That’s all. Let her know why you won’t be her friend. Then cut her off.
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lampstand
Guest
This is really tough. I admire the fact that you want to keep trying to rescue this person. 
It’s my hope you can get through to her.
It’s my hope you can get through to her.
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psr13
Guest
This is a big toughie. Honestly, I have a lot of experience in this area. My sister used to be a “white supremicist.” I put it in quotes because I really doubt she thought that way. Now, she’s married to a Cuban, has a half-Cuban daughter, and hates racists. I wouldn’t say just up and leave because of the fact that she needs love from people. However, it gets sticky here. Pay attention to who she hangs out with. My sister hung out with the most dangerous skinhead gang in the world pretty much. It led to cops having to follow us places so that those people didn’t kill us because of something that happened. If she’s spending time with people like that stay as far away as possible. Those people still want to kill my sister. So, it’s really hard to say what to do right now.
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lovesMary
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Yes, this may very well be a phase, I went through some weird phases when I was a teenager, experimenting with different beliefs. A lot of us girls got interested in magic spells and witchcraft, it was just a silly adolencent phase.
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natsclem
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She should realize that the blacks (or browns) are black (or brown) because their origin countries are hot. The color serves as protection against the ill-effects of the sun. The white skin is of weak resistance under the sun. But I don’t believe the white race as being inferior because of that.
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lovesMary
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I HAVE actually noticed that White Supremists appear to generally be inferior members of the Caucasian race. 
They usually are people who would be colloquially refered to as “Losers”.
They usually are people who would be colloquially refered to as “Losers”.
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deb1
Guest
I thought that the OP said that her friend was in her thirties.
My own guess is that this woman’s husband is influencing her in a negative manner.
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jc-servant
Guest
No one was talking about any black people being racist about anyone, so why are you injecting that into this thread where a woman has a specific problem? It looks like you are trying to hijack the topic from the real problem for OP which was a white friend expressing a hate position against other people.
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