My best friend needs help and guidance, what should I do?

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NotreDame13184

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I am in a really tough situation right now. I just found out last week that my ex-girlfriend is bisexual. I know Christian stance on this and I know my stance. I don’t believe in it. However, we were best friends at one point, and I refuse to leave her in the dark. To be honest, I am still deeply in love with her. I think about her all the time and I still care for her so much. When I first met her last July, she was a totally different person than she is now. When she went away to college for her freshman year, she slowly started to turn into a completely different person and her values and morals that she had she lost. She has become a totally different person now. She started to drink, when she said before she didn’t believe in it and that it wasn’t healthy(she lectured me about this). She started to turn her beliefs towards what society percieved as right and acceptable. I almost feel like I went to her funeral and that she is now dead. I miss that person that she used to be. I just don’t know how to approach her anymore. I really want her to see how everyone loved the person that she used to be. I want to be there for her, but I don’t want to be judgemental and lose her in my life altogether. I really need advice. Can you help me?

Derek
 
You sound like a good caring friend.

Please seek out the Catholic apostolate “Courage” couragerc.net/

They are devoted to assisting Catholics who are dealing with this issue. They have an ministry called Encourage that is for friends and family members.
 
Saint Philomena protect these children of the Lord, may your purity defend their souls. Amen

It will really be good to speak to a holy priest, because you need to prepare yourself for this situation. My best friend did this to herself and it is best to consult with a holy priest, so you do not become mixed up in yourthoughts or emotions. Keep your eyes and heart on the Lord first:) , let the “Lord” go look for His lost sheep while we wait in prayer for their return.👍
 
Dear Lord lead your daughter -child back to your heart . Lord do not let the enemy confuse her mind and thoughts . Lord lead her path to your heart and ways . Lord have mercy on her and I know you love her . Lord open her eyes and let her open her heart to you sweet Lord . Lord change her heart to a Christ centered loving heart . I thank you my Lord FOR RETURNING YOUR CHILD TO YOU , in the name of Jesus, amen . God Bless your best friend , your brother in Christ, John
 
Derek keep praying constantly for her . She needs all of our prayers . She is lost . She needs God to pull her out of this . Pray with all of your heart . Our Lord hears our prayers . May the Lord be with your ex girlfriend always ! , John
 
Praying, asking the holy father to help you and your friend through this, by just standing by her you are a true friend indeed god bless you :gopray2:
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and in the hour of our death. Amen.
 
Derek:

Do you think that your friend could have caved into peer pressure at college? Many kids do this for a time (a phase) because of the freedom and the challenging environment. I will pray that this is only a temporary situation and that Our Lord will bring her back to the fold. Keep praying for her, and all of us at CAF will be doing the same. God surely will answer our prayers. I would not, however, condone what she is doing, but gently lead her into the Light. God bless you for being a dear friend to her.🙂
 
Hey all,
I truly appreciate all of your advice and guidance. It isn’t easy hearing that news from someone, especially when it is someone that you still deeply love with all your heart. Some of you asked if this was just a college faze brought on by peer pressure. I would like to think that it is for the most part. She used to tell me that she would watch lesbian pornography and fantasize about it, but I never thought too much of it because I have fantasized about homosexual encounters as well. However, I can honestly say I don’t intend to act upon these temptations. After she got into college, we had a breakup, she had a one night stand and thought she was pregnant. Well, I was there for her, even if I was disgusted severly about it. That is when she told me that she wouldn’t regret it if it ever happened. However, funny thing is, it seemed to me that she had mixed feelings. She used to say how it wasn’t right and how she didn’t want to do it. Being the dumbo that I was, I used to try to taunt her and try to get her to do it(I know, I was wrong and feel terrible about it). I wanted to be with two girls at once, but knew it was wrong. When I would finally get her to consider it, then I would say how it was wrong. She would always try to cover herself by then saying that she was just joking, but now I wonder if that was her true emotions or not. I could sense the struggle, but I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I think deep down she was afraid bc I used to tell her she would have to live with it for the rest of her life. I think that she was struggling with right and wrong. Her family sheltered her and she was raised in a Christian environment with good morals. It wasn’t until she went to college that things got bad. I mean, she wasn’t perfect, but everything escalated. She used to tell me she didn’t like me drinking and that it wasn’t healthy, but then she started to drink. But I condoned it and I probably pushed her to in some cases. The other night through text message, she told me that she knows she has changed and maybe not for the better, but that its not my probably and I shouldn’t worry about it so much. I have flat out told her what she has done is wrong. She tells me she doesn’t care what I think and that she does want me as a friend but that I make her feel like **** and bash her too much. I just keep thinking that if by chance the opportunity were open for us to ever get back together, the fact that she was with a girl would always be in my head. I know my heart and I know my beliefs. It is just plain wrong. But I realize there were things I did and said that weren’t right. I have to live with it now. I just keep thinking that if the we were to ever CONSIDER getting back together, which I doubt will happen, if she were not regrettful of it then I couldn’t be with her. I just want the old person back I came to love. I would take back every night of sex to be with her again. I love this girl with all my heart, both as a friend and as more. I just need advice. She means the world to me.😦
 
Suppourt her with whatever she choses to do. Being a LGBT youth is not wrong and not easy. If she choses to drink tell her that at one point she thought it sucked- and make a joke out if it! Show her that you are light happy and totally ok with her comming out. (and if you’re not- remember she cant change it. It is who she is and if you still care, you have to overcome this hurdle. b*tch and moan all you want to your folks… but be there for her)

Trust me-
It will make a world of diffrence to her.

👍 good luck:thumbsup:
 
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