My brother needs help

[Cupcake143]

It’s a lot to explain about the situation with my brother, but to shorten the whole story… my brother has gambled for a loong time (he is 29 years old now), and right now it has gotten so bad because he owes a lot of people money, and it is a lot of money. I believe he does not want to gamble anymore, but he owes so much money that he will do it. My father and mother have helped him out soo much in the past, and my father has given him large amounts of money. My brother would steal from my dad, from his businesses, etc. when he needed money. He also stole gold jewelry that mother had from her back home where she was raised. My parents have forgave him of course, but they just want him to stop and to start working hard. My brother is lazy, and just wants things to come easy and right away to him. He has had things come easy to him, and has been spoiled… so he’s not used to working hard. He does not come to terms with the fact that he needs help.

Many people have tried talking to him (especially my older sister) and help figure out solutions, but the only thing that is on my brother’s mind is: MONEY. He does not want to work hard for it (probably because it is a lot of money that he needs and feels like working will be a slow process, and like I said he wants things right away). He is very stubborn and does not listen to anyone. No one in my family knows what to do, and I feel bad for my mother and father. My mother is always sad, and she cries a lot (I hate to sound uncaring, but sometimes I wish my mother was stronger and did not cry so much). Anyway, my sisters and parents are very stressed about my brother. I get mad and upset about the way that he acts, but at the same time I feel bad for him. I know he is not happy about what he has gotten himself into, and I also believe that he does not want to do bad things, but it’s the addiction and he’s desperate. My mother says he will not go to rehab, but correct me if I am wrong, I thought that there was an interventionist that if the whole family came together he would be forced to go? Does anyone know of this, and where I could call to seek help for my brother? If anyone is familiar with this type of situation or addiction, please offer some advice. Thank you and God Bless!

 

[DebbieS]

I’m praying your brother’s addiction is healed by the Lord.

Have you called Gamblers Anonymous? They might be able to help you find resources to help your family cope, if not help your brother directly. As I understand it, an intervention can convince an addict to get help but not force it. It would ultimately be his decision to go to rehab or not. I hope this helps.

 

[Spritus1]

Try looking up some gambling addiction support groups online and contact them for advice. Give the contact details to your brother. Support him. Keep communication open and involve all the family. Emphasise to your brother that you will all continue to support him but that he must take personal responsibility to get through this.

You cannot do this all alone. If your brother is sincere then he should be willing to work with you.

I would imagine that like all addictions, stopping will only work when the one who is afflicted wants to stop. It cannot be imposed on them and even if it is, it is unlikely to work without their active desire.

God Bless.

 

[Chrish1975]

It’s a lot to explain about the situation with my brother, but to shorten the whole story… my brother has gambled for a loong time (he is 29 years old now), and right now it has gotten so bad because he owes a lot of people money, and it is a lot of money. I believe he does not want to gamble anymore, but he owes so much money that he will do it. My father and mother have helped him out soo much in the past, and my father has given him large amounts of money. My brother would steal from my dad, from his businesses, etc. when he needed money. He also stole gold jewelry that mother had from her back home where she was raised. My parents have forgave him of course, but they just want him to stop and to start working hard. My brother is lazy, and just wants things to come easy and right away to him. He has had things come easy to him, and has been spoiled… so he’s not used to working hard. He does not come to terms with the fact that he needs help.

Many people have tried talking to him (especially my older sister) and help figure out solutions, but the only thing that is on my brother’s mind is: MONEY. He does not want to work hard for it (probably because it is a lot of money that he needs and feels like working will be a slow process, and like I said he wants things right away). He is very stubborn and does not listen to anyone. No one in my family knows what to do, and I feel bad for my mother and father. My mother is always sad, and she cries a lot (I hate to sound uncaring, but sometimes I wish my mother was stronger and did not cry so much). Anyway, my sisters and parents are very stressed about my brother. I get mad and upset about the way that he acts, but at the same time I feel bad for him. I know he is not happy about what he has gotten himself into, and I also believe that he does not want to do bad things, but it’s the addiction and he’s desperate. My mother says he will not go to rehab, but correct me if I am wrong, I thought that there was an interventionist that if the whole family came together he would be forced to go? Does anyone know of this, and where I could call to seek help for my brother? If anyone is familiar with this type of situation or addiction, please offer some advice. Thank you and God Bless!

It sounds like your brother has obsessive compulsive disorder. As long as the family enables him he will continue to steal and take from the family & friends. I suggest your family read about and practice tough love.

 

[wanabesaint]

God will help you move mountains, but dont forget to take a shovel along, and to that make the call to the experienced who can help, or give direction to what to do.
“Your Brother is, self medicating himself.”
IN alot of ways, that comes to comprehend what is going on in his mind, to gambling is a temporary, medication, escape from reality, or “futile” hope of winning and all will then on be good. Phonography, drugs, alcohol, prostitution,wealth, power, superstition, even religion can get to be a self medication to escape or give the brain a temporary escape from our aflictions.
And all of these addictions or self medicators are huge profits industries in the US, ponography is past epidemic, drugs by the realization the number one US cash crop is, marijuana by its self ( a forbidden, illegal, not part of the government farm program crop that is actually illegal to raise, in a age hunger is more today than ever in the past.
and recognizing the profits made from vices as noted, compares the Catholic religion to the Islamic and the end results that were learned a hundred years ago. IN that Catholic/Christian religions have a huge tollerance to these vices, but the Islamic dont, just the facts, scream you have been brain washed to not tolllerate such FACTS…
Yet that alone proves and shows why Europe had such huge issues, why soo many escaped Europe and came to America. They came for Freedom, and Individual rights.

Today, the tolerance to Vices or Social ills in combination to Socialism strips your Freedom and Individual rights…
We pray for your Brother, but, he has lots of company in these times…But you have to recognize screw working hard, Obama is going to take all from the workers, and redistribute it out again to all…

 

[Catholic1954]

It’s a lot to explain about the situation with my brother, but to shorten the whole story… my brother has gambled for a loong time (he is 29 years old now), and right now it has gotten so bad because he owes a lot of people money, and it is a lot of money. I believe he does not want to gamble anymore, but he owes so much money that he will do it. My father and mother have helped him out soo much in the past, and my father has given him large amounts of money. My brother would steal from my dad, from his businesses, etc. when he needed money. He also stole gold jewelry that mother had from her back home where she was raised. My parents have forgave him of course, but they just want him to stop and to start working hard. My brother is lazy, and just wants things to come easy and right away to him. He has had things come easy to him, and has been spoiled… so he’s not used to working hard. He does not come to terms with the fact that he needs help.

Many people have tried talking to him (especially my older sister) and help figure out solutions, but the only thing that is on my brother’s mind is: MONEY. He does not want to work hard for it (probably because it is a lot of money that he needs and feels like working will be a slow process, and like I said he wants things right away). He is very stubborn and does not listen to anyone. No one in my family knows what to do, and I feel bad for my mother and father. My mother is always sad, and she cries a lot (I hate to sound uncaring, but sometimes I wish my mother was stronger and did not cry so much). Anyway, my sisters and parents are very stressed about my brother. I get mad and upset about the way that he acts, but at the same time I feel bad for him. I know he is not happy about what he has gotten himself into, and I also believe that he does not want to do bad things, but it’s the addiction and he’s desperate. My mother says he will not go to rehab, but correct me if I am wrong, I thought that there was an interventionist that if the whole family came together he would be forced to go? Does anyone know of this, and where I could call to seek help for my brother? If anyone is familiar with this type of situation or addiction, please offer some advice. Thank you and God Bless!

No one can be forced to go and get help for an addiction; they must want to go and be prepared to do the hard work to get better. Your parents are enabling your brother to keep gambling and not want to change. Until he takes responsibility for his life, he will not change and force the rest of the family to deal with his problems for him. Unfortunately, the best way to deal with this is for your parents to kick him out of their home and refuse to pay his debts or support him anymore (at age 29 he should be on his own anyway). A good family councelor might help you all deal with this, if your brother won’t go, then go without him.