My child has anxiety issues (prayer needed)

[MTKM]

I would appreciate your prayers for my child that has trouble falling asleep at night. Her mind is overly busy with worries about many teen related items and she even worries about the fact she won’t be able to fall asleep each night as it has become a nightly problem.I guess you could say she seems to be a deep thinker…her mind is always thinking/worrying…seems to never want to shut down. This week I decided to start praying 1 decade of the rosary with her each night and it actually helped her to relax…I told her to focus on the mystery after I leave the room as she tries to fall asleep. I think because she is quiet and shy she is having a hard time socially in school trying to fit in and although she won’t come out and say it I believe she worries about this…many kids that are overactive / loud / outspoken/ social butterflies seem to think if your quiet your weird and it is not the truth. I could use prayers for her.

Thanks

PS - We make sure no caffeine, sugar, soda, etc…6 hours before bed and also give her meltonin.

 

[purplesunshine]

Praying.

But please take your child to a professional who can serve her better she needs psycological help, not soda bans and melatonin.

 

[MTKM]

Praying.

But please take your child to a professional who can serve her better she needs psycological help, not soda bans and melatonin.

Thanks purplesunshine. I appreciate you responding.

What do you think a professional will do for her? I have thought about taking her to a doctor but worry they will just prescribe some stronger or more dangerous drug to help her sleep rather than just taking a natural supplement like melatonin. Also, I need to clarify…I don’t really ban her completely from sodas…just stay away from ones with caffeine. On the sugar it is more or less just watch to make sure nothing excessive before bed…Like eating a entire king size snickers of something like that….

Just a little more background…She has always been the top student in her class on AR points and grades…Last year she won 8 academic awards in her school. When she first started school she was so far ahead of her classmates that she would tell us she was bored in class and the other students give her a headache because they make so much noise and act immature…Wife and I approached the principle about moving her up a grade…They discouraged it but we are talking about a Catholic school that would have stood to lose 1 year of tutition if they did that…I may be judgemental to make that statement as Catholic myself but I have felt that way ever since they told us no.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I would appreciate your prayers for my child that has trouble falling asleep at night. Her mind is overly busy with worries about many teen related items and she even worries about the fact she won’t be able to fall asleep each night as it has become a nightly problem.I guess you could say she seems to be a deep thinker…her mind is always thinking/worrying…seems to never want to shut down. This week I decided to start praying 1 decade of the rosary with her each night and it actually helped her to relax…I told her to focus on the mystery after I leave the room as she tries to fall asleep. I think because she is quiet and shy she is having a hard time socially in school trying to fit in and although she won’t come out and say it I believe she worries about this…many kids that are overactive / loud / outspoken/ social butterflies seem to think if your quiet your weird and it is not the truth. I could use prayers for her.

Thanks

PS - We make sure no caffeine, sugar, soda, etc…6 hours before bed and also give her meltonin.

Has she ever been tested for ADHD? Those with over-active brains may have it. Is she being bullied at school? Is it a new school, have you recently moved? How old is she? Is she having hormonal fluctuations?

I agree with purplesunshine, but first go see her pediatrician, and then perhaps a psychologist who can help her address her worries and test her for ADHD.

Don’t see a psychiatrist b/c all he will do is write a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, which doesn’t address the root problem.

 

[MTKM]

Has she ever been tested for ADHD?

No.

Is she being bullied at school? Is it a new school, have you recently moved? How old is she? Is she having hormonal fluctuations?

Maybe verbally since she is quiet…They all seem to like her but always refer to her as the smart quiet kid. I think they give her a hard time because she it quiet.

She has been with the same class since 1st grade so no it is not a new school

13 …I am not sure about hormonal issues.

Don’t see a psychiatrist b/c all he will do is write a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, which doesn’t address the root problem.

Totally agree with you! She has a loving family. We will work through this together. I appreciate your comments

 

[pentecostbaby]

Don’t see a psychiatrist b/c all he will do is write a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, which doesn’t address the root problem.

You know, anti-anxiety medication can be incredibly helpful to people who have an anxiety disorder, which the OP’s daughter may be suffering from. Please be considerate to those who do suffer from one. they actually do, in some cases, address the root problem, which can be an issue with brain chemistry. It’s offensive to those of us with an anxiety issue that we could think our way out of our problems if we just tried hard enough or got enough therapy or something.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

You know, anti-anxiety medication can be incredibly helpful to people who have an anxiety disorder, which the OP’s daughter may be suffering from. Please be considerate to those who do suffer from one. they actually do, in some cases, address the root problem, which can be an issue with brain chemistry. It’s offensive to those of us with an anxiety issue that we could think our way out of our problems if we just tried hard enough or got enough therapy or something.

That is NOT what I wrote, don’t get your panties in a wad and take this personally. I recommended that the OP take her daughter to the DOCTOR first and a psychologist 2nd. And if you are going to get “offended” that’s funny considering I have had anxiety myself and I take anti-depressants.

First get a physical exam and go from there. Medication helps a lot of people, me included, but I always recommend to start with the physical.

 

[Cat_Herder]

St. Dymphna, pray for us.

 

[Cat]

I agree that the young lady should visit her pediatrician just in case there are any medical problems, and while there, ask for a referral to a good counselor skilled in working with adolescents.

Hopefully there is no need for meds of any kind. This sounds like something that will respond well to a little cognitive therapy.

Due to a shooting scare (on television), our younger daughter had sleep issues when she was small. We took her to a counselor who taught her various techniques to help her to calm her mind and drift off to sleep. She’s all grown up now and still uses some of those techniques.

It only took about six sessions with the counselor. This wasn’t a sink-hole for our money, but a very good “investment.” Our daughter certainly appreciated learning how to calm down and go to sleep.

By the way, melantonin IS a chemical. Please keep in mind that a lot of so-called “natural” supplements are chemicals, and only escape regulation by FDA because they call themselves “natural.” Please be careful with these.

As for her being smart and having some trouble fitting in–is there any chance that she can go to a school or a home-school co-op where everyone is smart? Both of my daughters went to a private school, and almost everyone there was “smart,” and some of the children were truly brilliant. My daughters both thrived there because intelligence was valued, not denigrated, and they were never bored. If there’s any chance that your daughter can be in a school or homeschool co-op with her intellectual equals, she will love it.

 

[MTKM]

By the way, melantonin IS a chemical. Please keep in mind that a lot of so-called “natural” supplements are chemicals, and only escape regulation by FDA because they call themselves “natural.” Please be careful with these.

Yes, I will be careful. I really am not a big fan of using it. I need to read up more on this “supplement/chemical”…

As for her being smart and having some trouble fitting in–is there any chance that she can go to a school or a home-school co-op where everyone is smart?

I send her to a private Catholic School since 1st grade…This is the best option in my area.

Thanks for your comments!!!

 

[MTKM]

St. Dymphna, pray for us.

Thank you Cat Herder !!!

I will read more about St. Dymphna.

 

[MTKM]

You know, anti-anxiety medication can be incredibly helpful to people who have an anxiety disorder, which the OP’s daughter may be suffering from. Please be considerate to those who do suffer from one. they actually do, in some cases, address the root problem, which can be an issue with brain chemistry. It’s offensive to those of us with an anxiety issue that we could think our way out of our problems if we just tried hard enough or got enough therapy or something.

Hi Pentecostbaby

Thank you for your comments. You bring up a valid point. That option always exist but I am hopeful we won’t need them at her young age. Please keep her in your prayers! It means a lot to me and I know God will help her.

 

[Cat_Herder]

Thank you Cat Herder !!!

I will read more about St. Dymphna.

You’re welcome!

The best available book on her is published by Fr. Lovasik Publications. They sell both the white biography book and a green devotional booklet. The National Shrine also sells both.

If you go looking on Google Books, remember that her name has many variant forms (Dimpna, Dinghen, etc.)

You might find this article from the local newspaper about the Shrine helpful as well.

 

[firephoenix]

Hi, i dont know if this would help or what, but, since i identify with what happens to your daughter, I armed myself with courage to write a post about it (been around since 2009, registered in 2010 but never got the courage to write xD).
I have the same problem you described, and been having it for quite some time (years). I’m 20, and it’s quite difficult for me to have a good night sleep unless i play football (soccer) long enough for me to be completely exhausted and “pass out” in my bed.
I’ve always been the top student in my class, now in college studying Computer Science and i still am the smartest guy around.
I have the same problem you described, I cant go to sleep because my mind is often too busy to shut down.
I’d recommend you take her to a doctor, I didnt go to one and still have the same problem .
As for being bullied, i’m a man and i understand that bullying a girl is a very different thing, i think i never was bullied because even though i always was the youngest in my class, i always was the biggest and I never let anyone pick on me because i was shy (and i still am) thanks to superior body strength . I always had trouble fitting in, i went to a private catholic school (never fitted in bcuz my interests never were the same as the other kids (everyone wants a toy for christmas when ur 5, but i actually asked for history books)), then moved to a public highschool (impossible to blend in a extremely poor and knowledge repulsive context) and finally, i earned a scholarship for a Catholic College (best university in my country) where i thought i would fit in cuz i thought everyone would be more like me and i was wrong.
As for going to a psychologist, i went to one who diagnosed me and said sincerely that she thought she might help me with my social skills (i cant express myself cuz i’m extremely shy though i have no disorder like asperger or anything) and solving that might help me achieve peace to sleep and a better concentration to study, but she obviously couldnt help me solve the other problems (math, politics, economy, education, etc) so i stopped going bcuz that’s just 1 of the problems that my mind tries to solve, and solving one but leaving other issues unresolved wont help.
Well, dont know what else to say, just, try talking to her and take her to the doctor.
See you and good luck with that, i’ll pray for her,

Sincerely,

me.

 

[faithfully]

I would take her to a pedi.

You don’t have to agree to any RX’s. But I’d get it out there.

If her mind runs non stop, I’d encourage writing. I often end up with a mind running non stop unless I’m exhausted. I process all the things I have to do and can’t forget.

But, if I write down my thoughts, it seems I can let it go and actually sleep.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I would take her to a pedi.

You don’t have to agree to any RX’s. But I’d get it out there.

If her mind runs non stop, I’d encourage writing. I often end up with a mind running non stop unless I’m exhausted. I process all the things I have to do and can’t forget.

But, if I write down my thoughts, it seems I can let it go and actually sleep.

Best idea yet! OP, give your daughter a journal to write down all the stuff that just recycles in her head - maybe that will give her some peace and she can relax and sleep.

I know sometimes when I have insomnia, I come downstairs and write in my journal and have a cup of tea and it helps just to get my worries and fears out on paper.

 

[MTKM]

Dear firephoenix,

Hi, i dont know if this would help or what, but, since i identify with what happens to your daughter, I armed myself with courage to write a post about it (been around since 2009, registered in 2010 but never got the courage to write xD).

Thank you for having the courage to write. I appreciate your story! It helps to read about others as I find support and encouragement in your words.

I always had trouble fitting in, i went to a private catholic school (never fitted in bcuz my interests never were the same as the other kids (everyone wants a toy for christmas when ur 5, but i actually asked for history books)), then moved to a public highschool (impossible to blend in a extremely poor and knowledge repulsive context) and finally, i earned a scholarship for a Catholic College (best university in my country) where i thought i would fit in cuz i thought everyone would be more like me and i was wrong.

Your story is so interesting as my daughter was exactly the same with books at a young age and still is. Asking for books only on her B-Day and Christmas… Maybe not history books but her main interest from an early age was reading books. She started reading at 3 and could read short stories in pre-school. I actually can’t tell you how many books she has read in her life. It has to be in the hundreds (maybe 500+). People buying her books would have to ask her to make sure she had not already read it She has said she wants to be a writer someday but hasn’t mentioned in the last few years.

Thank you again for your advice and prayers. It is nice to hear from you since you have this same issue. We need to get her to our family doctor soon based on the feedback I am getting in this forum. I care so much for her and don’t want her overall health to get worse due to lack of sleep.

I will also pray for you also. God Bless you!

 

[MTKM]

Dear Faithfully &** RealJuliane**

Best idea yet ! OP, give your daughter a journal to write down all the stuff that just recycles in her head - maybe that will give her some peace and she can relax and sleep.

I know sometimes when I have insomnia, I come downstairs and write in my journal and have a cup of tea and it helps just to get my worries and fears out on paper.

The writing / Journal is an excellent idea…You can see a little more detail about my daughter in the post above. She loves to read and has said she wants to be a writer so the journal idea is such a great idea. I actually think she has a journal but not sure she is using it. I need to encourage her to think about doing that each day to get her thoughts down on paper and out of her head. Like you say…I do think her ideas are recycling in her head.

Thank you both! God Bless!

 

[KarenElissa]

Dear Faithfully &** RealJuliane**

The writing / Journal is an excellent idea…You can see a little more detail about my daughter in the post above. She loves to read and has said she wants to be a writer so the journal idea is such a great idea. I actually think she has a journal but not sure she is using it. I need to encourage her to think about doing that each day to get her thoughts down on paper and out of her head. Like you say…I do think her ideas are recycling in her head.

Thank you both! God Bless!

I tend to listen to audio books while I’m going to sleep. Usually just fun old stuff from LibriVox, nothing that takes a ton of concentration, but it is enough to shut off all the thoughts running around my head and give me something else to focus on, but not something that will keep me awake like all the other thoughts running around my head. Since she is already a reader (as am I) this might be helpful for her too.

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

:heaven:Bless her heart! I went through this as a middle school student and in the first two years of high school. Yes, I will say special prayers for you both as you go through this.

Does she have one or two friends who are the quiet, sensitive type? Sometimes teens can be really overwhelming and clique-ish. (In my case, believe it or not, the drama group in school helped me, as I found I could enjoy “losing” my self in playing someone else.) Does she have any clubs at school, music, theatre, or chorus?

It’s perfectly normal to feel shy in the world we live in today, please tell her that. People are unique, each with a special gift. She will find hers!

Physical activity that she enjoys may help with the sleeping issues. With over-worrying, it’s good to try to re-capture a sense of humor. She may be the most normal person in the room, if her experience is anything like mine. I was terrified of the intimidating cheer leaders and drill team members, who made me feel inferior. I had to stand up to bullies a few times, but after awhile, I began to believe that I was not inferior, just different.

If she understands that these other teens are a bit over the top, if she can find a way to talk with you and laugh about things a little, that might help. Does she enjoy books, reading, library clubs? Hobbies help give a person a sense of achievement, and she sounds like a good student.

School can sometimes feel like a mine-field, and you want to keep a close eye on things, make sure there’s no bullying or intimidation going on that’s upsetting her. Open communication between you both is so important. If you feel it’s time for professional help, that’s your decision.

I remember my daughter actually being intimidated in her freshman year of college by a couple of real losers. Thank God by that time, she’d seen it all, blew them off and surrounded herself with caring friends. But I’m glad she called me and that we’re still communicating.

Now I have a grand-daughter in the third grade and every time we talk, I ask if she’s enjoying school (she is, very much) and let her know to tell her teacher/parents/grandmama if any bullying or mean-ness starts or if she just wants to talk. It sounds like you and your daughter are communicating well, and that’s half the battle.
Best wishes and prayers,
Kathryn Ann:harp::heaven::grouphug: