My Child Saw a Sex Scene-need advice

[LongingSoul]

I am just mortified!!!

Our church has a home for 3 men with disabilities. My 9 yr old daughter and I volunteered to make and eat dinner with them. The home is shared with 2 staff members that live with them.

The living room TV was on while we ate and talked.

We were in the middle of eating when the opening of Bridesmaids came on…and lo and behold it was a sex scene. No body parts were shown but it was pretty clear they were not wearing clothes and they were pretending to be in the act. My daughter definitely noticed and started to watch…I was desperately hoping the staff members would turn it off. I don’t know if they noticed too late or if they noticed and didnt think to turn it off or they noticed and felt awkward about it.

I haven’t had the sex talk yet with her but my plan is to do so this summer and through a Catholic view. I’ve already given her the message that our bodies our precious gifts from God and we must treasure it…

What would you do? Do I talk to her about it? Do I leave it alone? SIGH!!! I also can’t help but feel disappointed that this happened while on Church grounds!!

Oh gosh, I feel your pain. That scene is nauseating. I’m thinking how I would have handled it with my own daughter when she was 9. I think because of the nature of the scene (girl with zero self respect) I would say something to her about how it is really important for girls to have self respect when it comes to boys. I dunno. I would want to get across that it is a temptation girls have to compromise themselves to be liked by boys and we have to be aware of that. So not particularly anything about the actual sex… but more about self respect. Then leave that to be a little gem of wisdom in her memory banks.

I developed quite an open channel of discussion with my daughter over time (she’s nearly 20 now) and most of the time it came in addressing a TV show or an incident with her friends (some of whom were not from faithful Catholic homes). I think that openness is something that both of us cherish.

Good luck and God bless.

 

[VeritasLuxMea]

I know it’s hard, but I think you should do your best to treat this situation as if it’s not the end of the world. Because, really, it isn’t. Human sexuality is a tricky topic, but it is not dirty. Your daughter saw something that she shouldn’t have been exposed to, but that’s life. It’ll be OK, I promise.

 

[EasterJoy]

I know it’s hard, but I think you should do your best to treat this situation as if it’s not the end of the world. Because, really, it isn’t. Human sexuality is a tricky topic, but it is not dirty. Your daughter saw something that she shouldn’t have been exposed to, but that’s life. It’ll be OK, I promise.

More to the point, sometimes other people handle this topic in a faulty manner. That is unfortunately not unusual. In addition, depictions of inappropriate things can be a part of an appropriate treatment of a difficult subject, although only when the viewers are mature enough to see something immoral depicted without being influenced in favor of doing it or tempted to be permissive about it. We are careful to avoid inappropriate depictions of private things or even of crimes, but we also don’t obsess about what other people do, so we can have serenity of heart over those not under our authority. For instance, the overall message concerning the short clip seen by the OP might have been either depicting the inappropriate as something the characters regretted doing and repented from having done or depicting a private act that was not sinful because the characters are married or who knows what. An adult might be able to watch it, we don’t know, and the show was not turned on for the benefit of a nine-year-old. It is best to assume that was an unfortunate accident.

 

[Anglewannabe]

You want the Church to apologise for TV advertisement content? Something they have no control over.

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The Church has control over turning the TV off which is what should have immediately happened.

 

[SAVINGRACE]

The Church has control over turning the TV off which is what should have immediately happened.

No it doesn’t. Read the original post. It was at a home for disabled men, run by the church but that doesn’t mean the Priest is there everyday monitoring the TV.

And why couldn’t the mother turned off the TV or changed channels? It was her daughter who was affected and she was in the room. If you won’t stand up for your children why expect others.

 

[amart816]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I was certainly upset with myself and the fact that I didn’t turn it off. I was just frozen and didn’t know how to best react in the heat of the moment. This was my first time at the house and first time meeting them. I contemplated getting up to turn it off but didn’t even know where the remote was. My fear was I would cause more of a scene by getting up and inquiring (while flustered) where the remote was.

I wish I could go back in time to react differently but I can’t…and that is what had me upset the most. Reading everybody’s thoughts was helpful…and I’m grateful.

 

[chemaeslay]

I would have ran over and turned it off! Im just sayin

 

[phil_at_dayboro]

I’d let it be, unless she asks a question about it.

This is very correct, the worst thing you can do is make a big scene out of it,

If she asks questions then be honest and explain the facts of life,

But there is a big chance she will soon hear about it at school…

Modern children work many things out for themselves,,,

but you as a parent must. Be forever vigilant ,