My child treated poorly at Church event

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They have a day during the weekend where past Royalty may wear their crowns to the festival. Imagine seeing a 50 year old woman walk around the festival with a crown on her head.

I actually took my child to the festival one year; but when I saw the 50 old woman wearing a crown I did not go back. I realized that the “Royals” took it way too serious.
 
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Cool! Then work with the Director of Religious Ed/Faith Formation and have a May Crowing for the parish. The “crowners” are selected by pulling names out of a hat.

After that, a group rosary and singing then cookies and lemonade!
 
One year, my husband and I actually attended the Junior coronation before we had children. We thought it seemed harmless.

However, it was disheartening to see children dressed up as Kings and Queens; all the while another child was dressed up as a can of bug’s spray and yet another was dressed up and announced as “itchy poison ivy”. I could not understand how the bug spray mom and the poison ivy mom were okay with that. But to each his own. I need to add that this was a long time ago so maybe things have changed and the costumes now have become more “humane”.

The website developers and social media folks can add their spin and make it look like it’s for a “noble” cause. The year that I attended; I did not see where the festival drew a lot of “out of town” tourism. I would consider our town as a tourist town but not because of the “Royal” festival.

I went on a Sunday and I noticed that the attendance was what I would consider weak. I recognized those in attendance as mainly past royals, present royals, and those vying for a spot as future royalty.
 
If it’s not as popular as its publicity material suggest, then you will have plenty of people happy to join you in your new inclusive activities. Be the change you want to see in the parish 🙂
 
Did the kids get designated the bug spray/ivy costumes or did they choose themselves to come as this?

If you mentioned your concerns to your priest is he able to perhaps exert a bit of influence to the organizers to request that they make the King and Queen crowning open to all children?
 
The pageant and coronation is a town event and is separate from the Church. Some of the Church members may be on the selection committee but it is a separate thing. I do not know who is on the selection committee.

And I understand that the children are assigned the costumes.
 
As others have suggested, I would also encourage you to start your own groups and/or events. If there really is a large group of “commoners” who avoid these things, then perhaps there is a larger audience than you realize.
 
I think the town event is separate from the church. But it was a church event (the May Crowning and Living Rosary) where her child was excluded. The OP thinks that her child was treated differently at church because the family doesn’t participate in the town event.

I think.
 
Yes, good point. I saw ‘living rosary’ and assumed it was a church event that your child felt excluded from. There should really be no distinction from ‘royals’ and the rest of us commoners in the church. At all!
 
After a re reading of the OP, it struck me…

This is exactly what many Catholic high schools do this time of year. Though we call it “Prom”
 
Yes in High School, the school selects a Prom Queen and King. But aren’t they usually selected by the student body? I also understand that it is not uncommon for towns to have other king/queen pageants etc. Normally, these pageants allow equal opportunity for interested candidates to publicly compete for the king/queen title.

However, in this town the “royalty” for this event is selected from the “prominent” or “exclusive” townspeople’s royal gene pool. And there is some “secret” committee that meets and select’s which Royal family will be king/queen for the year. Then they have this ceremony where they make their announcement.
 
lordhavemercy2 said:
However, in this town the “royalty” for this event is selected from the “prominent” or “exclusive” townspeople’s royal gene pool
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Is this published somewhere or is it the town rumor? If it is true, honestly, I would contact a news organization and perhaps bring a lawsuit. In the US it is against the law for towns to run discriminate against people based on many factors. The media would absolutely jump on a town picking a queen from only rich folks.

At the very least I would show up at every city council meeting and speak about this discrimination.
 
As to whether to allow your child to participate, I would just ask them.

As far as mom’s groups go, cliques can exist without being deliberate. You find out this huge chunk all hang out for swim team or all chose the same private school etc. It can leave those of us with a lot less scratch to feel like outsiders.

Is leadership just volunteers or are they elected in some way? Ours is anyone who wants to be on leadership can. I’ve somehow accidentally become in charge of mine.

If you and some of the other moms who feel similar join leadership, you can help change things up a bit. People sort of age out of moms groups as their kids get older and they need the group less. So you might find that a peaceful change of power occurs.

This is if it feels worth it to your family. It may not feel worth it to devote that level of energy to the group. I just see dueling parish events as possibly creating greater conflict even if you’re doing it all for the right reasons.
 
I completely agree and I realize that cliques are everywhere.

I talked with my child and they like the idea of starting our own tradition by having a family ceremony at home to “honor the Blessed Mother”.
 
The town event has an association with a board of directors that manages and coordinates all aspects of this event. I found this in a published online article that describes the selection process:

“The members of the Association’s Board of Directors choose the kings and queens, selecting junior royalty candidates from the list of third and fourth graders of the County, and the senior royalty candidates from the high school juniors and seniors. The board chooses candidates they believe would best represent “The Association”, taking into account their participation in past festivals. When the candidates for each position are narrowed down to two, each board member casts a secret ballot. This is the final act that decides that year’s royalty.”

Keep in mind that this event was started about 150 years ago…long before equal opportunity. I would guess that the association is designated as a “private” entity and therefore may do as it pleases.
 
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That is the one I was thinking about

Looks like they are asking for volunteers, so, maybe by volunteering you would not feel as if you were on the outside looking in. I hope you can find a place to enjoy the festival. I’ve always wanted to visit!
 
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