My children's Godparents left the Church

[embwt]

Hi everyone,

It’s been a while since I was on this forum, but something came up while visiting family over Easter and I knew I could get solid Catholic answers from this forum.

My children’s Godparents (my sister-in-law and brother-in-law) just left the Church for the baptist church (they were fallen away Catholics for the past several years but now they have left to become baptist). I am not sure what I should or shouldn’t do. As Godparents, aren’t they supposed to help my children along in the faith? How can they do that if they’ve left it?

Also, I heard (not directly) that they are so happy with “communion” at their new church. Their children (who were not being brought up in any church prior) have already made their “first communion” in the new church and it was perceived (by my SIL and BIL) as much better because they didn’t have to have a big event . . . they just did it.

I have never had anyone in my or my wife’s family leave the faith for a protestant church prior to this.

Next year, our oldest will make his First Holy Communion. How do I address questions and comments that are sure to come up (from my children, from my niece and nephew now in the baptist church, etc.) as it relates to First Holy Communion? How do I explain about the Real Presence to my children and tell them that what their cousins get in the baptist church is not Christ present in the Blessed Sacrament? How do we celebrate the big event that it will be without “offending” the baptist family members, yet without shying away from the truth? Assuming that my SIL and BIL will be there for my son’s First Holy Communion, should I say anything to them about how they should not receive Jesus in the Eucharist? My family and my wife’s are Catholic, but very “inclusive” and do not necessarily believe what the Church teaches. Since these baptist family members are my children’s Godparents, it adds another wrinkle to my concern.

Any thoughts or suggestions? Thank you!

 

[Thomas63116]

Hi everyone,

It’s been a while since I was on this forum, but something came up while visiting family over Easter and I knew I could get solid Catholic answers from this forum.

My children’s Godparents (my sister-in-law and brother-in-law) just left the Church for the baptist church (they were fallen away Catholics for the past several years but now they have left to become baptist). I am not sure what I should or shouldn’t do. As Godparents, aren’t they supposed to help my children along in the faith? How can they do that if they’ve left it?

Also, I heard (not directly) that they are so happy with “communion” at their new church. Their children (who were not being brought up in any church prior) have already made their “first communion” in the new church and it was perceived (by my SIL and BIL) as much better because they didn’t have to have a big event . . . they just did it.

I have never had anyone in my or my wife’s family leave the faith for a protestant church prior to this.

Next year, our oldest will make his First Holy Communion. How do I address questions and comments that are sure to come up (from my children, from my niece and nephew now in the baptist church, etc.) as it relates to First Holy Communion? How do I explain about the Real Presence to my children and tell them that what their cousins get in the baptist church is not Christ present in the Blessed Sacrament? How do we celebrate the big event that it will be without “offending” the baptist family members, yet without shying away from the truth? Assuming that my SIL and BIL will be there for my son’s First Holy Communion, should I say anything to them about how they should not receive Jesus in the Eucharist? My family and my wife’s are Catholic, but very “inclusive” and do not necessarily believe what the Church teaches. Since these baptist family members are my children’s Godparents, it adds another wrinkle to my concern.

Any thoughts or suggestions? Thank you!

How do I address questions and comments that are sure to come up (from my children, from my niece and nephew now in the baptist church, etc.) as it relates to First Holy Communion?

How about - truthfully, charitably, and age-appropriately. If the oldest of the kids is a still a year away from receiving first communion in the Catholic Church (First Grader?) then you may be overestimating the level of question you will get from any of the kids involved. If the niece and nephew have questions, they are more likely to ask their parents than you.

How do I explain about the Real Presence to my children and tell them that what their cousins get in the baptist church is not Christ present in the Blessed Sacrament?

First, I would tend to avoid doing or saying anything that could be interpreted as “bad-mouthing” your in-laws or their church. Bringing up, unprompted, comparisons between their theology on the Eucharist and that of the Catholic Church has the potential to be interpreted that way. Gve your young one age-appropriate information about the sacrament he is preparing for. If he has question about how this is different from what his cousins did, I think you are fairly safe saying that their church believes communion is just a symbol of Jesus, while we believe Jesus is actually present in the Eucharist. It would also be appropriate to point out that tis is the reason we treat the Eucharist with such reverence and respect, fasting an hour before receiving, kneel during the eucharistic prayer, genuflect entering and leaving church, etc. Keep the focus on what we as Catholics do and why we do it.

How do we celebrate the big event that it will be without “offending” the baptist family members, yet without shying away from the truth? Assuming that my SIL and BIL will be there for my son’s First Holy Communion, should I say anything to them about how they should not receive Jesus in the Eucharist?

What do you think would offend them? Presumably, you would invite them along with the rest of the family to both the Mass and any party you may have afterwards. They may decide not to attend, or to only attend the party, but that is really up to them. There are often a larger than usual number of non-Catholics or fallen away Catholics at an event like a first communion. I would leave it to your pastor to decide what he considers most appropriate in terms of explaining the norms for receiving Communion to those in attendance. I would also tend to defer to your wife and the rest of her family about how to address it with them if this becomes an issue.

Since these baptist family members are my children’s Godparents, it adds another wrinkle to my concern.

I’m sure it does. Have they had any special role in your children’s lives as their Godparents up to this point? Have you had any discussions with them about how this would change, now that they have joined a different church?

 

[1ke]

As Godparents, aren’t they supposed to help my children along in the faith? How can they do that if they’ve left it?

Yes, that is the role of Godparents. Since they have left the faith they can no longer fulfill this role. Ask someone in your parish or with whom you or your children are close to assume the role of a spiritual mentor. When your child is ready for Confirmation, that person can be their Sponsor.

How do I address questions and comments that are sure to come up (from my children, from my niece and nephew now in the baptist church, etc.) as it relates to First Holy Communion?

I’m not so “sure” that questions will come up. I think you are over analyzing.

How do I explain about the Real Presence to my children and tell them that what their cousins get in the baptist church is not Christ present in the Blessed Sacrament?

Just focus on your own kid and the Catholic faith, not on what the cousins do. How would a 7 year old even know what the cousins do?

How do we celebrate the big event that it will be without “offending” the baptist family members, yet without shying away from the truth?

**You do what you do. ** Don’t worry about them. Celebrate the same way you would otherwise.

Assuming that my SIL and BIL will be there for my son’s First Holy Communion, should I say anything to them about how they should not receive Jesus in the Eucharist?

You can remind them that only Catholics in a state of grace may approach the Eucharist. Or, you can leave it between them and God. Having been raised Catholic, they know how they should behave.

My family and my wife’s are Catholic, but very “inclusive” and do not necessarily believe what the Church teaches. Since these baptist family members are my children’s Godparents, it adds another wrinkle to my concern.

Any thoughts or suggestions? Thank you!

Stop over analyzing and over worrying.

 

[CatholicSam]

Well, in their church, “communion” is no big deal, no big event, because it’s just a piece of bread and a cup of grape juice. But you, on the other hand, DO have a big deal because it is the Body and Blood of Christ Himself. So of course in your Church, there **is **a big event and big celebration for such a momentous occaision! If anything, the celebration of a child’s 1st Holy Communion is a great testimony to our belief in the True Presence!

I’m sorry your child’s godparents left the Church. My son’s godfather left the Church too. We just keep praying for God to lead them back Home and trust in His love and mercy.

 

[kage_ar]

I second 1ke.

Another bit of advice, get a copy of Madrid’s “Search and Rescue” and give it a read. You have time, pray and be the beacon that brings your inlaws back to full communion!

 

[gardenswithkids]

Hi everyone,

It’s been a while since I was on this forum, but something came up while visiting family over Easter and I knew I could get solid Catholic answers from this forum.

My children’s Godparents (my sister-in-law and brother-in-law) just left the Church for the baptist church (they were fallen away Catholics for the past several years but now they have left to become baptist). … My family and my wife’s are Catholic, but very “inclusive” and do not necessarily believe what the Church teaches. Since these baptist family members are my children’s Godparents, it adds another wrinkle to my concern.

While I sympathize with your concern, I also want to just add a glimmer of hope. You wrote your children’s Godparents didn’t practice their Catholic faith and also that your family doesn’t neccesarily believe what the Church teaches. That was also a bad situation and at least now they are practicing some form of Christianity verses not practicing any. Strong, practicing Baptists often have more in common with the Catholic Church than luke-warm, non-practicing, dissenting Catholics.

While I certainly would never encourage a luke-warm/dissenting/non-practicing Catholic to leave the Church, God can do some pretty amazing things with former Catholics while they are away from the Church. If people truly seek to know Christ, He will not abandon them even if they abandon His Church.

Pray that they “re-vert” back to Catholicism with a stronger Catholic faith than they had when they left. Even if they don’t re-vert, if they take their Christian faith seriously as practicing Baptists, they may be better God-parents than they would have been as non-practicing Catholics that pick and choose which Church teachings to follow.

Invite them to their godchild’s First Holy Communion and all the other Catholic events. This gives them an opportunity to understand better the Church teachings that they missed the first time around. Often good priests recognize that those in the pews aren’t practicing Catholics at these events and they may use the opportunity to evangelize. God pours out His graces in the Sacraments. He poured forth His grace upon them and your child in Baptism, and He’s not done yet.

 

[JanetF]

embwt: the Godparents don’t play a role at First Holy Communion, but they do at Confirmation. I would ask your parish priest how to deal with the issue at Confirmation, closer to that time. Someone else can stand if for them as sponsor at Confirmation. I missed my nephews confirmation due to illness and my mother stood in for me.

 

[Lujack]

embwt: the Godparents don’t play a role at First Holy Communion, but they do at Confirmation. I would ask your parish priest how to deal with the issue at Confirmation, closer to that time. Someone else can stand if for them as sponsor at Confirmation. I missed my nephews confirmation due to illness and my mother stood in for me.

Do the godparents have to play a role at confirmation? When I was confirmed, it was just assumed that I’d take someone different than my godfather as my sponsor, even though he was still Catholic. Most of my Confirmation class took someone else as a sponsor, now that I think about it.

 

[Thomas63116]

Do the godparents have to play a role at confirmation? When I was confirmed, it was just assumed that I’d take someone different than my godfather as my sponsor, even though he was still Catholic. Most of my Confirmation class took someone else as a sponsor, now that I think about it.

Same for me.