My Cousin (ex-Catholic) is getting maried this weekend in a secular wedding

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Sorry if this has already been answered before. I’m at work and my cousins wedding is saturday. So here’s the scoop…

My cousin who was baptized Catholic as a child (not sure if he ever did his confirmation) has walked away from the Catholic Faith in his search for God. He is essentially protestant and is getting maried this saturday in a secular wedding. (Actually, he’s already married civily to his wife, they’re just now doing this ceremony & reception) Am I commiting some form of sin if my wife & our family attend this wedding & reception? I’m a new Catholic convert 3 years ago on Easter (👍)from a protestant background and I’m still learning. Any help you can give would be GREAT! thanks!
 
Are they having a christian ceremony?Either away as a family member it would be nice if you show your support.I also have protestants in my family and would not treat them any differently than if they were catholic.
 
By attending this event you will be basically saying the church is not important in marrying couples. Ask yourself who do you have a greater loyalty towards, your cousin or your God? Know that children will most likely be observing your actions.
 
I would politely bow out of going. Going would give your tacit approval to a Catholic (even non-practicing) doing something wrong. He needs to be reminded, albeit in a charitable manner, that he’s still Catholic, even if non-practicing.
 
Califman831 said:
By attending this event you will be basically saying the church is not important in marrying couples. Ask yourself who do you have a greater loyalty towards, your cousin or your God? Know that children will most likely be observing your actions.
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This is not necessarily the case. THe first question was it it a sin, the answer is no, your cousin has left the Church (although through baptism they are always Catholic, but they would want to hear that) and this sounds more like a party that a marraige.
The other reason is that Christ dined with sinners all the time, it was how he spread his word. Your presents doesn’t mean that you are turning your back on your faith or condoning your cousins action, but it could go a long way in the future to possibly lead them back to Church. It is also a good opportunity to explain to your children Catholic doctrine and importance of following your chosen faith.
 
FAB said:
This is not necessarily the case. THe first question was it it a sin, the answer is no, your cousin has left the Church (although through baptism they are always Catholic, but they would want to hear that) and this sounds more like a party that a marraige.
The other reason is that Christ dined with sinners all the time, it was how he spread his word. Your presents doesn’t mean that you are turning your back on your faith or condoning your cousins action, but it could go a long way in the future to possibly lead them back to Church. It is also a good opportunity to explain to your children Catholic doctrine and importance of following your chosen faith.
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I’m not the original poster who’s cousin is holding this ceremony and reception. If the OP went there to try to convince his/her cousin that these events were not in keeping with the catholic faith and tradition then I would be supportive. Christ dd dine with sinners but he did not engage in sin, but rather called the sinners to repentance. In my opinion anything that supports a non-catholic marriage should be avoided. The OP should weigh his/her beliefs in this carefully.
 
franny50 said:
Are they having a christian ceremony?Either away as a family member it would be nice if you show your support.I also have protestants in my family and would not treat them any differently than if they were catholic.
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Hi franny50! There is no problem with you attending the weddings of the Protestants in your family. I believe the issue here is that the person was raised Catholic.
 
Below is a post from another thread on CAF (title of thread and link below). OP, perhaps these threads will be helpful to you.

Catholic choosing non-Catholic wedding
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=560903
SwizzleStick said:
Here are a few of threads on CAF that I’ve participated in that are relevant here as well. Perhaps you will find them helpful to read. Also, if you do a search, I’m sure you will find many other threads on the topic to read too. Still, my best advice to you is to pray as you discern what to do.

Would you attend an invalid wedding?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=6518026

My uncle wont go to my wedding
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=368570

Is it a sin to attend an invalid wedding of a Catholic?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=385694

Civilly Divorced Brother-in-Law Dating Without Annulment - Advice Please
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=281047

Can I participate in a Non Valid Marriage?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=253754
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from the Baltimore Catechism​

Q. 1011. Can a Christian man and woman be united in lawful marriage in any other way than by the Sacrament of Matrimony?

A. A Christian man and woman cannot be united in lawful marriage in any other way than by the Sacrament of Matrimony, because Christ raised marriage to the dignity of a sacrament.

Q. 1031. To receive the Sacrament of Matrimony worthily is it necessary to be in the state of grace?

A. To receive the Sacrament of Matrimony worthily it is necessary to be in the state of grace, and it is necessary also to comply with the laws of the Church.

Q. 1036. Does the Church forbid the marriage of Catholics with persons who have a different religion or no religion at all?

A. The Church does forbid the marriage of Catholics with persons who have a different religion or no religion at all.

Q. 1037. Why does the Church forbid the marriage of Catholics with persons who have a different religion or no religion at all?

A. The Church forbids the marriage of Catholics with persons who have a different religion, or no religion at all, because such marriages generally lead to indifference, loss of faith, and to the neglect of the religious education of the children.

Q. 1042. Why should Catholics avoid mixed marriages?

A. Catholics should avoid mixed marriages:
Code: 
    Because they are displeasing to the Church and cannot bring with them the full measure of God's grace and blessing;
    Because the children should have the good example of both parents in the practice of their religion;
    Because such marriages give rise to frequent disputes on religious questions between husband and wife and between their relatives;
    Because the one not a Catholic, disregarding the sacred character of the Sacrament, may claim a divorce and marry again, leaving the Catholic married and abandoned.
ourladyswarriors.org/faith/bc3-26.htm
 
your cousin is still Catholic, though is not in full communion with the Church at this time

I do not believe there would be a sin committed in attending the wedding. However, I personally would not attend because this will be an invalid wedding in this situation. Attending would mean that you were celebrating a wedding that is invalid and illicit.

A Catholic cannot have a valid wedding outside the Church unless the person recieves a dispensation from his or her bishop to be married in a non-catholic ceremony. It does not matter if they are a practicing Catholic or not.
 
So what that he is an ex catholic! He is still a family member and a christian and is deserving of the same support as any catholic.As a soon to be ex catholic,I would hope that my family would be just as supportive.Remember what Jesus said;“Judge Not,Less Ye Be Judged”
 
franny50 said:
So what that he is an ex catholic! He is still a family member and a christian and is deserving of the same support as any catholic.As a soon to be ex catholic,I would hope that my family would be just as supportive.Remember what Jesus said;“Judge Not,Less Ye Be Judged”
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Goodness, another angry fallen away Catholic. Well, you might think you deserve support but whether that is an objective state of affairs is a different matter. Supporting sin is not what Jesus wants from us. And attending an invalid marriage ceremony is exactly that. Sorry if that hurts your feelings.
 
Jesus attended diners with sinners. This did not meant that He approved the sin.
 
franny50 said:
So what that he is an ex catholic! He is still a family member and a christian and is deserving of the same support as any catholic.As a soon to be ex catholic,I would hope that my family would be just as supportive.Remember what Jesus said;“Judge Not,Less Ye Be Judged”
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I’m sorry that you took this so negatively. I guess I could’ve painted a backdrop to my reasoning for asking this question and could’ve possibly asked with better words. My cousin and I are very close. We have many discussions why he left the Catholic church to Protestantism and why I left Protestantism for the Holy Catholic Church.

Ther reasons why I am so concerned about this wedding (if that’s what you want to call it) has basically removed ALL church from it. I’ve watched my cousin literally become a different person in a small matter of time from the moment he met his wife (turns out they’re already married civily) to this day. I worry for his soul, and about his decisions. I love my cousin and I want to make sure that I am giving a good example of a God fearing Christian Man.

I will be attending his wedding and I will continuously pray for him and his wife. I will continue to follow the Catholic faith in truth. Even if the Catholic Church deems that I shall not go to this wedding I wouldn’t leave this Truth of the Catholic Church.

I pray that you will have an open heart to Christ and His calling for you in His Church. 👍
 
I just want to thank EVERYONE for you posts and insights on this matter. It has been a great help!
 
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