My dh would like our friend to move in with us--temporarily...thoughts?

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I recently posted a thread about a couple we know, who we’ve become close to since moving to Florida, who are breaking up. I saw the wife a few days ago, she has already moved in with her mom…and she is getting a place of her own about an hour from where I live.

The husband is staying back at the house…but planning to sell. He already has it up for sale, actually. So, the guy would like to move in to our townhome community. That would be great, because my dh and him really have hit it off.

So, this morning,my dh says…maybe we should have him move in here with us temporarily–he can put his stuff in storage, until he finds a suitable place to rent.

Huh? lol

I really don’t mind all that much, but he has a rottweiler which is not going with the wife…and I have a cat…plus, our place is big, but not designed for a larger dog like this. I don’t think I want a rottweiler in the house anyways…but, other than that…I don’t think I’d mind the guy living here for a few months. He is on the road 4 days out of the week, so he would only be here on weekends.

My dh said it was just a thought…he would never offer it without mutual consent between us. He just thought it would be nice, since the guy is basically being left by his wife, and he no family or friends who live near here.

What would you say? Should we offer? Do you think it’ll be hard on our family with a friend living here for a few months? He makes great money, so it’s not like he can’t afford to be on his own, and paying his wife child support, etc…

Thanks in advance for your advice.
 
Let him stay for a bit, but put some restrictions on the dog. Maybe agree that it can only stay in a certain area or that it has to go with another friend. There’s no reason why you should have to let a monstrous dog potentially ruin part of your house.
 
Hmmm, If he’s going to be on the road 4 days per week, will he take the dog with? or will you end up taking care of the dog?

Having someone over for a short time, I think, is not a huge problem, but a large dog can make that time more stressful. And could strain your husband’s relationship with him (and you).

I’d want to know more about the dog arrangements before I said yes.
 
Sounds like a bad idea to me. Moving in a housguest with no firm deadline on moving out (plus a big dog). Your call, but I wouldn’t do it.
 
Is it your desire to remain friendly with both of them? This may be seen by the wife as “taking his side”. If you want to be Switzerland neutral, I’d not have him move in.
 
wisdom_3_5 said:
Hmmm, If he’s going to be on the road 4 days per week, will he take the dog with? or will you end up taking care of the dog?

Having someone over for a short time, I think, is not a huge problem, but a large dog can make that time more stressful. And could strain your husband’s relationship with him (and you).

I’d want to know more about the dog arrangements before I said yes.
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That is a very good point–who takes care of the dog now…I wonder?:confused: He is on the road…and his wife is living with her mom…maybe she drives back and forth taking care of him? Hmmm…

I’m leaning towards no…and just discussed it earlier again with dh…and he said that after thinking it through, he doesn’t think it would be such a good idea. Ok, that solves that!

kage–as usual, that’s a point I hadn’t thought of, too. I really don’t want to be taking sides, even though, I internally lean towards the husband not being as at fault…he really tried to save their marriage…after talking with her, I am starting to think she truly didn’t understand whatsoever, the responsibility of being marriage.😦
 
Hi, big caveat…I am not a dog person, but Rottweilers tend to be very protective of their masters, and not too friendly towards “strangers” I’m not sure I would trust him with the cat.

Also, I think kage-ar had good advice, it would be hard to remain neutral in that scenario.
 
It’s very nice of you to be considering this! I’m sure it’d mean a lot to him to be in a warm family atmosphere after the divorce.

You do need to consider where and how to keep the dog. Maybe he’ll know exactly what to do about it and you could ask him.

Yes, it might be inconvenient, but it’s a really nice thing to do. And after all, he might decline fro practical reasons and still appreciate the gesture and it would nake him feel less lonely etc.

Tell us what you come up with! 🙂
 
WG, you and PenguinsFan exemplify great and true charity. It sounds like it could get complicated very quickly and a big 80-90lb dog like a Rottweiler would push this to the no column for us. Just my 2cents.😉
 
and not only the DOG, WG, the very BIG DOG, but what about his kids? when he has visitation, do they come to your house, too?
 
Is there some problem like a financial crisis that would prevent him from getting his own place? I could understand the offer IF he had some gap, say 2 weeks, between the sale of his place and the time in which he could move into his own place…but other than that I wouldn’t invite another man into my home to stay indefinitely. It raises so many potential issues I don’t know where to start. If you and your husband don’t want to end up the same way this guy and his wife did…I’d say let him figure it out…it IS his life and the sooner he does the better.
 
monicatholic said:
and not only the DOG, WG, the very BIG DOG, but what about his kids? when he has visitation, do they come to your house, too?
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lol–I think dh thought of this, and thus has reconsidered. But he will still offer…because we truly feel so bad. Granted, he is still living in his home now…until he sells it. And with the housing crisis here in FL, not sure when that might be…we’ll have to see.

But, let’s say this all happens…let’s see…a 8 month old baby (he’s sucha cutie!!), another 12 yr old girl, a rottweiler…hmmm…I might have to go to a nearby spa for the weekend…

(me to dh)---->“remember honey…this was YOUR idea, and I was just trying to be a dutiful wife and not tell you no.” :whistle:
(in all seriousness, everyone–thank you for these thoughts. I’ll have to keep you posted, but I’m thinking it will be no in the longrun…)
 
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