My divorced parents

[damooster]

I told my mom that I am becoming a catholic and she told me that she and my step-dad had recently talked about going to a catholic church to learn more about it (not knowing that I was in RCIA…was keeping it a surprise).

My concern is that they were both previously married and got divorces, but never got an annulment.

What steps would they have to take to get the church to recognize their marriage? Are they both going to have to get an annulment and then get remarried in the church?

I just want the right answer in case they approach me about wanting to become catholic so that I can advise them about the church’s stance on their marriage.

Thanks.

 

[BamaRider]

Mooster- good idea to get all the facts so you can be of help.

All previous marriages in your parents situation were in a Protestant Church or civil?

If that is the case, it is likely all all the impediments to their marrying in the church can be cleared. Not 100% sure but it will be the way to bet.

Ask the pastor and Queen Of Peace what kind of paperwork is invloved, so you have some answers for your folks when they ask.

The process can take a long time, they will have to be patient.

In the meantime, I’d invite them to RCIA, and tell them that doesn’t mean they have to make a committment, they just want to attend to answer their questions and to get a better understanding.

They can complete the class and commit, but won’t be able to come into full Communion till their marriage situation is addressed.

We have a young family in our parish right now in this situation. The parents have completed their instruction and the children are in CCD and the oldest has made his 1st Communion, but mother and father are still waiting for the tribunal to give the go aheadf for them to receive the Sacraments. It has been 2 years, and I’m anxious for them. But they come to Mass every Sunday.

 

[LeroyCRHP]

Great job damooster, you are a phenomenal example and great young adult. Myself RCIA 1994. If your parents are able to submit to the process of the church they will feel so much better after. I’ve seen it “good”, and I’ve seen it when parents have to do it “their way”.

Maybe RCIA is right for them also if they want to learn about the Catholic Church and be a responsible member?

 

[damooster]

All previous marriages in your parents situation were in a Protestant Church or civil?

Both were married in Protestant churches for their first marriages but they were married by Justice of the Peace.

What kind of process are they looking at should they decide they want to become Catholic? You mentioned classes; are you referring to RCIA or something else?

Thanks.

 

[BamaRider]

It can vary a little from parish to parish, but not by much.

Eash situation is different so I’ll speak in general terms.

When I say class I mean RCIA. I’m pretty sure they can attend and see if this is what they want to. I don’t see any reason why they can’t jump in your current class, but the final decesion for that is with the instructor. They can attend class while the marriage issue is being addressed.

I’d make sure your parents understand the Church stand on marriage, make sure all know they are welcomed and wanted in the community, but marriage is sacred thing and has to be done correctly, and the Chruch is not judging them on past actions, and will help them to get where they want to go, but being Catholic is more then just showing up for Mass on Sunday.

Lets say they attend the classes and decide to convert.

The first thing after they clear the marriage impediments is they renew the vows they took at the courthouse in the Catholic Church to make the marriage Sacramental. Right now it is legal as far as the state is concerned, but it needs to be made Catholic.

After that happens, they can now be confirmed and make 1st Communion.

Just a guess but it will probably take at least a year, so tell them at the outset they must be patient.

Good luck and keep us posted. The forum is a valuable resource. There is a lot of diverstiy in Catholicism, and it is impossible to learn all you need to know in one RCIA season.