My ecstasy was heavenly

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Iancopeland

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In 2007 I was 29, still trying to figure out if God was real or not. For some reason my heart could find Him, but my brain and my senses would chime in and question His reality. There is much more I could add to this, many more details of the back story here, but I’ll get to the point. I don’t like saying this but I was a form of a doubting Thomas. I told God if you prove yourself to me, I will run with you. This is after years of searching, I was obsessed with God at the time but still part of my brain was unsure if He was real.
One week day around noon, I was in the basement of my mothers house alone. Again I was talking to God saying, I know you can prove yourself to me, if you do, I will run with you.
For some reason I put my arms out into the position of the cross. There was a large full length mirror across from me, and I could see myself. I began to completely believe that Jesus got on the cross for me. I wanted to take away some of His pain that he suffered for me. As my belief grew my love for Him grew. For about 2minutes I was showered with LOVE. I felt love from an external source outside out my body pouring immense love into me. All I could think and say was “I love you” , “I love you” repeatedly, over and over for about 1 minute straight. In the moment I was like Oh My Gosh, this is real…I love you…towards the end I was saying I’ll never leave you, repeating it for the last about 30 seconds. I am keeping this story short, because I’m trying to describe the indescribable. My voice I noticed towards the end was extremely raspy, almost unintelligible if you were listening to it.
I could repeat what I’ve said and emphasize this much more, it was what I said x1000,the love was filling my body from an outside source, I could feel I love you, being showered into me. I’m sorta scared fr some reason, though I shouldn’t be, to try this again. It probably won’t work for me, because this was a gift from God to me. But i encourage you to try and see if this will work for you. Give God love, connect with Him in the cross, realize He did it for you, love Him.
It took me a year or two to realize it was an ecstasy.
I’ve had 2 other unnatural events occur to me. I am now 100% convinced of the reality of life after death, and that God is real, and that He made us. I know He is with me and watches me. This happened over 10 years ago, and I’m finally able to talk about it more. I want to do Gods will, and do what He wants me to do.
 
Not to discourage your positive experience but the types of religious ecstacys we head about from the Saints e.t.c are not about physical sensations or “feelings” . Also it would not take years to realise a true religious mysitical “ecstacy”. If you had one, it would leave such a mark on your existence that you would have no doubt about it and realise it the exact moment moment you came out of it. I’m not saying that God talks and interacts with us often and that we can experience that (in many different ways)

I’m not saying it was not a religious experience of faith either, for you. But I’d be careful using words like Ecstacy e.t.c for physical feelings of Joy. Even the Devil can bring you feelings of Joy or a visual image of delight for a while and make you flattered by the physicality of existence to deflect you from having Faith and Trust in God without the need for proof.

Just my advice as someone who was once on a very wrong path and have felt various elations which I thought where devine. They really where not. I feel I’ve had a few that are though, though never ecstatic ones.

I reccomend a book called The Imitation of Christ by Thomas A Kempis (I think it’s that one anyway I was reading it along with The Dark Knight of the Soul by St John o.t.c ) which talks at length about not being too hung up on "nice’ experiences being neccesarily valid religious ones e.t.c ( to paraphrase ).
 
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Thank you for talking to me about this.
I didn’t know specifically what the Saints meant when they used the word ecstasy. Immediately when it was over, I knew it was a mystical, magical, out of this world experience. I meant that I didn’t start using the word ‘ecstasy’ to describe it for about a year after it was over. I just did not know what to call it. I will look further into with the saints description of ecstasy is for them.

I don’t understand the last sentence of your second paragraph.

The other two experiences I brought up that I don’t go into were related to evil.
 
I believe you, because I had a very similar experience myself when I was 27, till this day, some thirty years later, I still vividly remember it.
 
Iancopeland said:
Walk us through what happened to you
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When I was about 15, I told my Dad one day, that no one should be forced to go to(Mass) Church (which he did force me to do) and that it should be ones free will, and I caused a big scene in front of my house about this one day, and he reluctantly agreed. From that point on, until I was about 27 (I’m 56 now) I didn’t go to Church anymore. Then one day while bored and kinda depressed I was laying on my bed flipping the TV channels, and I happen upon a TV preacher who was talking about Jesus.

For some reason I liked what he was saying, and agreed in my mind that what he was saying was true, then it …“Happen”… it’s hard to describe the feeling. It was like some kind of incredible g-force pinned me to the bed, and at the same time it seemed as if my spirit came out of my body levitated a few feet above my flesh body and instantly… Love and Holiness rushed into me.

It felt like my spirit exploded into particles of love and holiness and every little particle was saturated with love and holiness too, I was incinerated in God’s love !!! This feeling slowly subsided, and I came back to my senses, and with the absolute knowledge that there is a God, and he loves sinners like me.

To make a long story short, a few month later after this experience I stumble upon my Dad’s Pieta prayer book, I took to it like a fish to water, and have been going to Church ever since .
 
Iancopeland, what you described in your original post sounds like what St. Teresa of Avila would call a consolation. You were thinking about God and praying and He responded by giving you a taste of His great love for you.

St. John of the Cross, who wrote Dark Night of the Soul and was St. Teresa’s spiritual director recommends that we not pay much attention to consolations for several reasons:
  1. Satan can mimic these and make it appear they are coming from God when they are not.
  2. There is a danger in becoming dependent on consolations and wanting more of them because the accompanying emotions are so pleasant and so the recipient ends up loving the emotions more than he loves God.
I’m not implying this is your situation at all, but just something to be aware of.

That said, God does occasionally grant consolations to me in prayer and they are every bit as wonderful as you described. My spiritual director said to enjoy them, give thanks to God for them and let them go and not to seek them. It’s good advice.
 
Basically I have thought experiences I had that where seeming positive and an interaction with God where nothing of the sort. Although based on tangibility they seemed positive but theyhey where not, basically.

That’s pretty much all I would care to dwell on that second paragraph really 🙂 I would like to add that also you mentioned wanting to repeat the experience so it really doesn’t sound like an ecstacy to me friend.

If you had anything like this ecstatic experience we hear about from the Saints (the recongimsed and unreconised saints I mean) you would literally live and be happy to die at any second knowing there is nothing on this world or on your entire life that could beat that experience. I mean you would probably near have a mental breakdown at the thought of being alive one more moment when you have tasted something of heaven and would happily never experience it again or be wiling to do so again equally.

You sound quite young and I don’t mean that patronising and it sounds like a wonderful experience but my advice is take it as that. Just an experience of maybe a consolation.

Experiences of supernatural events aside of miracles are unimportant compared to just loving God and letting him be with all the non ecstatic moments of life. Needing proof (and then repeated proof) seems to be coming from a questionable motive and can no doubt be answered by very questionable means if you keep pushing that envelope.

God bless
 
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Anne1964 said:
Satan can mimic these and make it appear they are coming from God when they are not.
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If my experience came from Satan, then he made a big mistake, because I’ve been saying the Rosary and going to Mass for the past 30 years.
 
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SPONP4US said:
Experiences of supernatural events aside of miracles are unimportant compared to just loving God and letting him be with all the non ecstatic moments of life. Needing proof (and then repeated proof) seems to be coming from a questionable motive and can no doubt be answered by very questionable means if you keep pushing that envelope.
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I wasn’t looking for, or asking for proof, it’s more like God saw a window of opportunity and took it.
 
I stumbled onto this post and the title intrigued me. I have also had an experience. When I was preparing to make my Confirmation, my class was to take part in Eucharistic Adoration. We were to meditate and discern upon our upcoming Confirmation which was the following week. As a life long Catholic, I believed in God and I prayed and attended church regularly. I took part in the sacraments and knew to always pray to God for my needs, like when you have a nightmare I knew if I prayed then the fear I felt would leave me. But I did this as a child because its what I was supposed to do and what I was taught to do. But sitting with my class in front of the Eucharist, the thought entered into my mind “God, are you really there?” No sooner did that thought enter my mind then an overwhelming peaceful love enveloped me completely. Its really hard to explain because honestly the words peace and love don’t describe what it was like, but its the closest I can get. This experience was felt throughout my entire being like every single cell in my body was enveloped with Love. This day I will never ever forget and it happend over 40 years ago. I know God is real and his Love for us is greater than we can even comprehend.

At the end of the hour of adoration our priest came in and blew out the candles and turned on the lights to dismiss our class, but ever single person there, was in no hurry to leave, which for a bunch of teenagers that in and of itself is a miracle. We all however, slowly left, but the love I personally felt didn’t leave, as the week went on the feeling lessened in intensity but it was still there. When the day for Confirmation arrived, the entire Mass felt peaceful and was the best experience of my life. Shortly after this time of my life I started dating my now husband, whose brother was in that Confirmation class, my mother in law told me one day that his Confirmation was the best one she had ever been too, that the Church felt so peaceful and you could just feel the presence of God. She told me this before I ever told her of my experience. Because I now fully believed in God, something else happened to me, within months after my Confirmation I began to have really bad nightmares. I mean the worst nightmares with the worst oppressive feeling like evil itself was standing over me. I would wake up so scared I was afraid to open my eyes because I felt as though something bad was standing over me. I always always prayed when this happend and the fear and the evil feeling would disappear. I know that I express these experiences as feelings, but I do so because there are no words that can really describe the experiences. I have no doubt that God is there Always and he Loves Us, I also have no doubt that the devil and his demons are there and they Hate us for our Love of God and His Love for Us. I never told too many people about this experience because I thought well what if it was just in my mind, even though I truly know it wasn’t. I just felt compelled to post it here.

God Bless and the Peace of Christ Be With You.
 
I really enjoyed reading this and rereading this. Thank you so much for sharing.
 
Myfaithfulheart said:
I mean the worst nightmares with the worst oppressive feeling like evil itself was standing over me.
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Years later after my experience, I was taking a nap when I sensed something dropping from the ceiling.It was like a gray transparent foot that gave off an electrical hum. This foot was trying to crush my head into my pillow.While the whole time I was paralyzed in my sleep, but I could feel everything.I could feel my hair moving and my head sinking down in the pillow, and it was somewhat painful.

My head seemed to be as solid as a rock, and impossible for this creature/being to crush.The whole time I was praying frantically in my mind while being stuck paralyzed in a sleep state.Eventually this thing lifted off me, and I woke up.The first thought that I had, was that this was the Devil himself, and he did this out of shear hatred of me.
 
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That gave me goosebumps, but I can understand that paralyzing oppressive feeling. I have had a few experiences over the years, and prayer always makes the situation better. Sometimes it takes a little while but it always works. I think when your in the presence of the Devil himself something inside just knows it and his hatred, just like when your in the presence of God everything in you knows its him. It Reminds me of John 10:14 I am the good shepherd. I know My sheep and My sheep know Me. Many Catholics have had all kinds of experiences I always wonder why they don’t talk about it more, Thank you for Sharing God Bless
 
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Enjoy the moment and NEVER forget how God’s love moved you. I’ve had many moments to where I couldn’t even function due to the love of God and feeling His presence, and yes “feeling” is real. While our faith should not be based on feelings, feelings are real and can lead us closer to Christ, just test the feelings, if it is of love, hope, and mercy it is from God. If it is doubt, despair, and temptation it is from the devil. Everyone is right when they say we should not rely on such events, but if it’s God’s love that you felt, keep it stored away in your heart.

Some will say forget about it and move on, but they are not God and do not know His reason and plans for giving you such a moment. I struggle mightily at times with sin and self doubt, Satan wants me to give up on myself and for me to believe God is not there for me. I can start to believe it sometimes and get down in the dumps. But then “BOOM!” I will always recall the love I felt from one of my experiences that God’s love left me speachless. That’s why I say NEVER forget, you do not know what the future holds and if and when that Supernatural love touch might rescue you.

We should never test God, but God can certainly understand our curiosity and our desire to have Him reveal Himself to us. I know I wish I could stay in a perpetual state of those moments of when God put me on my knees, because in those moments there is nothing that compares. I guess we just get a small glimpse of what heaven will be like.

God bless and thanks for sharing your experience!!
 
Been there too Techno. January 31st made eleven years since my wife and I suffered through a demonic attack, except we were wide awake while the horror took place. The fear, hatred, and darkness can not be understood by those who have not experienced it, no words can adequately describe it. And it happened twice that night.

My wife was pretty much paralyzed from it, only able to murmur in fear, cry, and dig her nails into my back as she tried to escape. I kept praying even though they were scrambled and incomplete. At the end of the second attack a feeling of love, peace along with courage engulfed me, that’s when Psalm 23, a Psalm I certainly did not know then, came out of my mouth. That ended the attack. All those feelings of the demons hate was replaced by God’s love.

That’s why I can tell others they will know the difference between the presence of the devil and the presence of God. There is the Light, the Shepard, then there is the darkness and the liar. I don’t ever want to go through it again but I’m thankful to God for letting it happen. If not I would not be here hanging out with you guys, nor would I be heading off to Mass in an hour.
 
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DeSales111 said:
I don’t ever want to go through it again but I’m thankful to God for letting it happen.
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Me to… in some kind of strange way it’s sorta like a badge of honor to be confronted by the devil…and knowing you can fight him with your prayers.
 
Without having any way of knowing in your individual case, what you describe sounds like a gift, a “private revelation” involving the experience of what is sometimes referred to as the “immediate presence” of God, or a “taste” of His goodness in any case.

Such experiences cannot be reproduced at will or by the use of some technique; they come solely at His discretion and for His purposes. But it’s obviously intended to have a profound impact on the receiver, and expected to produce fruit going into the future.
 
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