My experience and need verification

[knightbird111]

So I was heavily into porn and masturbation at the age of 15.

I started to realize something was manipulating my eye sight. I followed the advice of a man on youtube: finalcall07. He went about saying Jesus died to free humans from sin and evil spirits which torment the human race.

I did a long drawn out fight against sin and prayed to Jesus, this went for a good year and a half. My eye sight started to become crystal clear and I could feel some kind of demon leave me and something entered me. This thing that has entered me is like a numbness to fear. Maybe this is the Holy spirit that entered?

But I have now headaches and cry more often.

So why am I writing this…I am looking for someone to tell me if they can relate to anything I am saying in this post.

For instance, humans will say curse words and lose their temper get angry…I see that this is actually evil spirits in them. If my spirit is strong and I stand next to two people conversing, the two people will begin to curse at each other.

When in sin, the world looks like hell. But then when you struggle to free from sin, everything around me looks like heaven. What is going on here?

The more I purify my soul, the more the visual image becomes sharper.

I discovered we have a soul after trying to fornicate with a woman. After this act, something took a hold of me and tried to get me to be very angry with people. It felt like a possession of my soul. I felt like an empty shell, just a body with no soul.

I am writing this because I want to know if anyone can relate to what I went through or is this all sound like crazy talk?

 

[AlanFromWichita]

My eye sight started to become crystal clear and I could feel some kind of demon leave me and something entered me. This thing that has entered me is like a numbness to fear. Maybe this is the Holy spirit that entered?

Not enough information, but it could have been. I’ve also called the HS the Divine Therapist.

But I have now headaches and cry more often.

That doesn’t sound particularly HS-ish style, unless you are undergoing purgation such as in the Dark Night of the Soul. When you cry, are you feeling any particular type of anxiety? Sadness? Joy? Pain?

For instance, humans will say curse words and lose their temper get angry…I see that this is actually evil spirits in them.

That’s because they are. The humans are actually immortal souls which are in the accident form of body during our walk on earth. They act out because of evil spirits, which I can also roughly equate to the dualistic lies we are taught about reality, and how adoption of these lies manifests.

If my spirit is strong and I stand next to two people conversing, the two people will begin to curse at each other.

Last fall I experienced the strongest empathetic experience I can imagine to what you are saying. I had someone put out vibes that through the whole room I actually felt damaged by his presence and the phone conversation he had with someone. It was very troubling, and very powerfully negative. I actually lost my temper practically, and channeled it all into typing (the situation demanded I remained calm on the outside at least) so I could actually dig it up in my archives and reread the whole account of the scene. It felt very evil.

I’ve recently seen a non-Catholic youtube video called “spirit science 15” which showed how human hearts actually exchange electromagnetic waves with each other when they are in close proximity. Warning: don’t watch it unless you go in knowing it has some new-agey type comments – but it has a few good science facts.

When in sin, the world looks like hell. But then when you struggle to free from sin, everything around me looks like heaven. What is going on here?

The more I purify my soul, the more the visual image becomes sharper.

You’ll find that the kingdom Jesus was talking about was accessible during lifetime and is basically a shift in consciousness, which is also a shift in point of view and experience.

Thy mysteries of the kingdom cannot be explained in learned terms, but must be experienced personally, afa I can tell, before it makes sense. They type of wisdom you get once you cross the point of “psych-something coherence” as they’d say in the above mentioned video, is at a more fundamental level than words and sounds, even than feelings but as existence itself seems to make adjustments.

I discovered we have a soul after trying to fornicate with a woman. After this act, something took a hold of me and tried to get me to be very angry with people. It felt like a possession of my soul. I felt like an empty shell, just a body with no soul.

I am writing this because I want to know if anyone can relate to what I went through or is this all sound like crazy talk?

I know better than to take someone’s apparently sincere words and call them crazy talk. I’ve been certified crazy, and in fact I still am, officially. I could name you many songs which glorify the crazy man. Kansas – Miracles out of Nowhere, Queen — the Prophets Song for example. Then there was my favorite song that consoled me when I was locked up in 1983, Rush – Cinderella Man. about a “manic depressive who walks in the rain” – like me

Alan

 

[knightbird111]

Yea, I mean when I was under sin I felt cold with perverted thoughts pushing on me, strange part I would get a mental voice that would say “kill yourself” but I was never the suicidal type but I assume this was the flesh in action. The more I broke away from porn the harder core these demons attacked my mind.

Now that I am semi free from sin, again masturbation trips me up. when I go out in public. I will be doing something and bang I feel some evil force run through my body. I literally freeze up, it is like being stung with a big needle. I assume this is an attack.

Jesus sent me a window apparition and this is concrete proof for me.

It was during fasting and prayer, I asked Jesus to show me a sign that he was real.

When I went to a window in my apartment, what appeared to be a multimedia flash video, or projector appeared on the window.

The 30 sec video showed the side profile of the face of Jesus moving back a forth fast. It was so very detailed that I knew it was not some special light effects.
When the video was reaching the end a figure appeared. It was like a religious figure that got smaller and smaller until it vanished. I saw this in the daytime with the blinds open.

The final figure in the video had its hands out kinda like Mary but it also had no hair just a round oval head. The whole video was in a shade of black. So the face profile was shadow black and so was the final figure in the end.

So either aliens from outer space are playing a clever trick on me or that is Jesus sending the sign.

To me this was supernatural and amazing. I do note that the strongest signs I get are if my body is weak, tired or fasting.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Jesus sent me a window apparition and this is concrete proof for me.

It was during fasting and prayer, I asked Jesus to show me a sign that he was real.

When I went to a window in my apartment, what appeared to be a multimedia flash video, or projector appeared on the window.

The 30 sec video showed the side profile of the face of Jesus moving back a forth fast. It was so very detailed that I knew it was not some special light effects.
When the video was reaching the end a figure appeared. It was like a religious figure that got smaller and smaller until it vanished. I saw this in the daytime with the blinds open.

The final figure in the video had its hands out kinda like Mary but it also had no hair just a round oval head. The whole video was in a shade of black. So the face profile was shadow black and so was the final figure in the end.

So either aliens from outer space are playing a clever trick on me or that is Jesus sending the sign.

To me this was supernatural and amazing. I do note that the strongest signs I get are if my body is weak, tired or fasting.

It sounds like you might have hallucinated a bit. That explains why it was so real; I’ve recently calculated there is no actual way to know whether you are hallucinating or not. It was as real as your experience was to make it – which basically means I don’t have a clue what it actually meant. My role is to experience it through your internet postings about it.

Actually, the reality of your visions, hallucinations if one prefers, is what’s important to me more than the details. What sort of sign did it come across as? Some sort of self-improvement or maybe drawn toward some purposeful task? Did it make you sad, scared, confident? Tell me not so much the technical details of it but rather more of the touchy-feely of what you got out of it – then I will be able to empathize with you much better.

Alan

 

[knightbird111]

It is a task…it was confirmation to me that Jesus is real. He wants me to do a task for him. Heal the handicapped.

But this flow of revelation only happened for 2 weeks but now I lost contact due to my disobedience and pride.

I am telling you that the video was so well done. Exactly like a flash video
I am trying to find a picture that most resembles the being i saw at the end of the video

Also as i get closer to perfection closer to not sinning, another figure enters my mind. A tall bald pale man with a black suit. He looks like hell raiser He shows up when I get stronger in avoiding sin. I assume that is the evil one.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

It is a task…it was confirmation to me that Jesus is real. He wants me to do a task for him. Heal the handicapped.

Nice. I love it. Have you been able to witness and/or participate in a healing since then? Or am I jumping the gun here?

 

[knightbird111]

I even stopped hanging out with my best friend because I cannot even relate to him anymore.

I am looking for what that figure looked like

all of this started after I tried to fornicate with a girl and that is when things spun out of control. The visions etc…

I took psychology and what I come to realize is people are not in mental institutes because of the brain. They are being inflicted by evil spirits.

Bottomline things I have learned: We are in the Garden of Eden Matrix, Jesus is real, evil spirits are real.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

I took psychology and what I come to realize is people are not in mental institutes because of the brain. They are being inflicted by evil spirits.

By and large that is true. There are true mental illnesses like physical brain damage, alzheimers, etc.

But for your basic psychotic like me, it was all a software issue, not a hardware issue. Put in the right anti-daemons (memes) and eventually it goes into self-cleaning mode.

Bottomline things I have learned: We are in the Garden of Eden Matrix, Jesus is real, evil spirits are real.

I agree, and I appreciate you are not trying to make too much detail in all of this since it is so undefined.

I do support the term “Garden of Eden Matrix,” because really the difference between the world and the kingdom just became plain as day when I crossed into the kingdom and I’m still experiencing that on a day to day basis. The difference is that all of a sudden the very same world seems like a garden, a total gift. Even the bad stuff is like exercisers for the soul. It’s all good and works for good of those who truly believe. :heaven:

Alan

 

[Julia_Mae]

I did a long drawn out fight against sin and prayed to Jesus, this went for a good year and a half. My eye sight started to become crystal clear and I could feel some kind of demon leave me and something entered me. This thing that has entered me is like a numbness to fear. Maybe this is the Holy spirit that entered?

But I have now headaches and cry more often.

So why am I writing this…I am looking for someone to tell me if they can relate to anything I am saying in this post.

I think you have a lot of stuff going on. Part of what you say makes sense, but part of it really doesn’t. Part of what the Liar does is try to make us believe false things. Like that you standing near someone can make them start cursing. Also, you can have some physical stuff happening, some neurological issues.

So, time to get real world expert help. First, find a doctor and talk about the headaches, visual issues and your tendency to cry. You can also call your Diocese and ask to be put in touch with an exorcist who can advise you about how these things work and assess your condition.

IMO, the really poor choice is to keep dealing with this on your own or through people online. We are not experts, but there are experts who can help you. Please find them.

 

[knightbird111]

what I meant by Garden of Eden Matrix is basically we are in a matrix, that is what I have come to discover. In this world controlled by the evil one, everything around us has one objective and that objective is to make us sin.

Adam and Eve sinned once and they spiritually died. From what I am seeing, I am challenged on a daily basis to sin.

To make it short and sweet, we are in a matrix whether people see it or not, and this matrix is The Garden of Eden…we are in the Garden of Eden. Once the typical mind control of the TV, social cultural norms are defied and our minds are conformed to the laws and rules of the Lord it becomes obvious.

Say I get angry and tend to sin when I see people with pink colored hats…well if I go and testify for the Lord guess who shows up when I am testifying? people with pink colored hats…maybe I am nuts…maybe I am only seeing this…idk

 

[knightbird111]

There are many Catholics and Christians but I have come to understand that the ones of God are 100% sinless. There is no sin in those who claim to be the children of God.

There are two systems; Gods system and the World system.

To be under Gods system you must be 100% sinless

For those in sin, they depend on the world system, run by the evil one.

In the world system, nothing works out
In Gods system, life is hard but everything works for the best.

You think we say curse words because we feel like it, we say curse words because we are under the evil one and we do not even know it.

A person cannot stop cursing because they are under the dominion of sin.

When those under the evil one come into contact with people outside of the dominion of sin, they are going to curse because the evil spirits inside of the sense that they are around the Holy ones.

I am speaking this from what I have seen. It is my own evaluation on the way things are working.

I have come to understand that nothing has changed since the days of the Bible. People go to doctors for medical help but since nothing has changed since the days of the Bible what are doctors needed for? Technically Jesus does the healing without the need of hospitals.

I’ve also realized that all of us are already being punished by the Lord for our sins. Why do we drop keys, papers, coffee and all things around us…is this circumstance or merely Gods punishment. Why do we get into car accidents

 

[AlanFromWichita]

what I meant by Garden of Eden Matrix is basically we are in a matrix, that is what I have come to discover. In this world controlled by the evil one, everything around us has one objective and that objective is to make us sin.

Adam and Eve sinned once and they spiritually died. From what I am seeing, I am challenged on a daily basis to sin.

To make it short and sweet, we are in a matrix whether people see it or not, and this matrix is The Garden of Eden…we are in the Garden of Eden. Once the typical mind control of the TV, social cultural norms are defied and our minds are conformed to the laws and rules of the Lord it becomes obvious.

Say I get angry and tend to sin when I see people with pink colored hats…well if I go and testify for the Lord guess who shows up when I am testifying? people with pink colored hats…maybe I am nuts…maybe I am only seeing this…idk

So by “matrix” you mean for example a single time-space section where it can appear as different realities depending on whether you are under influence of the evil one?

I didn’t understand anything notable about the pink colored hats part. Sorry.

Alan

 

[AlanFromWichita]

There are many Catholics and Christians but I have come to understand that the ones of God are 100% sinless. There is no sin in those who claim to be the children of God.

If a person sins then they are under the laws of this world
If a person is sinless then they are free from the dominion of sin and are of God

Once souls are born of the spirit and walk in the spirit, there actually is no condemnation, according to Rom 8. They are reconfigured in mind and heart such that they do not sin by their very nature. This is actually their true nature, the part made in the image of God and not the false self which is the ego which gets built up in the world. So they do not sin, but it isn’t because they are virtuous (although they are) but because they are led by the Spirit which guides them in right paths. The difference is in getting the false self out of the way of the Spirit by what is usually a long and difficult journey to learn receptivity.

What I mean by sin is “pet sins” if there is a person who does not commit a single pet sin, they become a child of God.

It is an extremist task but I think this is the truth.

I didn’t understand you here; I’m not sure what “pet sin” means.

Alan

 

[knightbird111]

AlanFromWichita that is correct.

Envy, hate, anger, fear etc…are programmed into us through the school system, television, I had a bully…I had to go back to forgive that man for bullying me now my soul is free from that.

This world we are under is a strong lie which has programmed into us from a young age. Basically one must go back to those they have wronged a undo everything to be free.

Simply put it, when you see someone cursing away F* this S* blah blah blah…you then know they are under the dominion of sin and that is most of us.

It is very very difficult to recondition the mind out of things which would generally tick us off. But once these things are broken then you see that this whole thing is simply a matrix. You see the matrix in operation for what it is.

 

[knightbird111]

Garden of Eden Matrix

My tendency to sin is when I see attractive women.

I stopped looking up porn and fight to not give into masturbation.

If I go on for a good 3 days that is when the Devil kicks in…he will send the most loose women you have ever seen down my block, they will even ring my door bell.

When a person removes all their anger and gets free from the matrix…the devil comes back at them to reprogram the anger into them. Technically re-install the demons which were previously kicked out by the person.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

AlanFromWichita that is correct.

Envy, hate, anger, fear etc…are programmed into us through the school system, television, I had a bully…I had to go back to forgive that man for bullying me now my soul is free from that.

This world we are under is a strong lie which has programmed into us from a young age. Basically one must go back to those they have wronged a undo everything to be free.

Simply put it, when you see someone cursing away F* this S* blah blah blah…you then know they are under the dominion of sin and that is most of us.

Here I don’t necessarily assume that. Another possibility is mental illness fighting with spiritual warfare, all part of something like a Dark Night of the Soul. BTW have you ever read the stanzas of the soul? I’ll copy them below.

It is very very difficult to recondition the mind out of things which would generally tick us off. But once these things are broken then you see that this whole thing is simply a matrix. You see the matrix in operation for what it is.

Yes, you can see how people behave in different apparent reality views from each other, for example.

Alan

And in case you haven’t heard them, check out Stanzas of the Soul, from the Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the cross. It describes a soul which dares to stray amid peaceful (i.e. quiet, serene, safe, using the metaphor of darkness and concealment) thoughts of its home, and seek out its True Lover.

	1. One dark night,
	fired with love's urgent longings
	  -- ah, the sheer grace! -- 
	I went out unseen,
	my house being now all stilled.
	
	2. In darkness, and secure,
  	by the secret ladder, disguised,
	 -- ah, the sheer grace! -- 
	in darkness and concealment,
	my house being now all stilled.

	3. On that glad night,
  	in secret, for no one saw me,
	nor did I look at anything,
	with no other light or guide
	than the one that burned in my heart.

	4. This guided me
     	more surely than the light of noon
	to where he was awaiting me
	 -- him I knew so well -- 
	there in a place where no one appeared.

	5. O guiding night!
  	O night more lovely than the dawn!
	O night that has united
	the Lover with his beloved,
	transforming the beloved in her Lover.

	6. Upon my flowering breast
  	which I kept wholly for him alone,
	there he lay sleeping,
	and I caressing him
	there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.

	7. When the breeze blew from the turret,
  	as I parted his hair,
  	it wounded my neck
	with its gentle hand,
	suspending all my senses.

	8. I abandoned and forgot myself,
  	laying my face on my Beloved;
	all things ceased; I went out from myself,
	leaving my cares
	forgotten among the lilies.

 

[knightbird111]

The beauty of being completely sinless is that the Matrix then works in your favor. You are in a supermarket, on a long line, the cashier in the next lane opens up and tells you to step down.

When we are under sin, nothing works out. This is what I have come to learn. So the devil is going to try everything to make a person sin because sin makes everything go bad. A person does a couple of sins then their car does not start.

Why was Jesus so focused on not sinning? …Jesus knew that if he sinned, evil spirits would access him and play with his mind. Jesus also knew that everyone and everything around him would not work in his favor if he sinned, plus he had the mission to complete this task in order to give the human race the option to get free from these stupid evil spirits.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

The beauty of being completely sinless is that the Matrix then works in your favor. You are in a supermarket, on a long line, the cashier in the next lane opens up and tells you to step down.

Also, people tend to stand closer to you than you normally would expect to be their comfort zones. Or they will strike up a chat.

When we are under sin, nothing works out. This is what I have come to learn. So the devil is going to try everything to make a person sin because sin makes everything go bad. A person does a couple of sins then their car does not start.

I don’t place quite as much emphasis on this type of situation unless it is part of a meaningful coincidence. For example, the rain falls on the sinners and righteous alike.

Why was Jesus so focused on not sinning? …Jesus knew that if he sinned, evil spirits would access him and play with his mind. Jesus also knew that everyone and everything around him would not work in his favor if he sinned, plus he had the mission to complete this task in order to give the human race the option to get free from these stupid evil spirits.

He also said that the man who believes in Him would do greater works than [the miracles He did to show He was God]. That’s because Jesus didn’t have the technology we have, nor did He have the gospels already preached to all the nations. People don’t believe me when I say Jesus said we are to do greater works than His, so I better quote it:

John 14:12
Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes in me will do the works that I do, and will do greater ones than these, because I am going to the Father.

Jesus planted the seed. We’re both harvesters and the harvest.

Alan