My Faith Is As Little As A Mustard Seed

  • Thread starter Thread starter DeerAntler
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

DeerAntler

Guest
I’m 24. Growing up I had great faith, believed in God wholeheartedly. Went to Catholic school until 2nd grade when we moved to a much smaller town without one. Until 2014 I would pray often and throughout the day. I loved God SO much and was very tender hearted when it came to Him. I don’t know how to truly describe that, but just if God came up, if we’re in church, if I’m listening to a Christian song and a line struck me as even semi-sweet, I’d tear up because of how much I loved God and appreciated the life he had given me and the sacrifice Jesus made for me.
For whatever reason in 2014 I suddenly began to feel my faith fade. I saw a post on fb about Christians not realizing their prayers are basically like writing a letter to Santa(no point, not real) and it made me think a bit, “is that really how we’re viewed. What if that is the case and we’re all just praying to nothing”, a few months later I started to take some science classes and it bothered me more, learning about molecular biology, or learning about all of the different chemicals, it just seemed a little bit beyond the God I knew in my head who was more big picture and not so much adenine, guanine etc. It all came to a head over a stupid buzzfeed video of all things which showed the size of earth in comparison to other planets/stars (tiny, and just kept getting tinier). I don’t know why but watching the video made me think “there is no way this is all God”.
Shortly after I realized I didn’t think I believed in God anymore. I would cry over how much I missed God and my strong, no doubt about it, faith. I was so blissfully happy and never EVER doubted anything before 2014. I would go through few week spurts of going to church again but I’d ultimately end up stopping. I felt like I was wasting my time and that I didn’t truly believe anymore. I would try to pray but I really did feel like I was writing a letter to Santa. I felt silly and like there was nothing there.
Fast forward to now. I want my faith back. When I go to places and there is a prayer said before the event I shed a tear or two. I would have before because of my love for God and the feeling of unity in everyone praying. Now I shed a tear because I’m jealous of everyone with unwavering faith. I had that too and loved it and now it’s gone, why? Today I went to church in the town I’ve moved to and registered as a parishioner. I teared up many times in mass over things that touched my heart and again jealousy. went to the office and asked about bible study or any groups I could join. I came home and followed several Catholic fb pages and groups in my area.
And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Thank you thank you, and sorry for talking your ear off.
 
One resource is CAF, I have learned much during my time here. I have found where to go to for my answers. Years ago, my mother gave me a pamphlet, “Praying not just saying the Rosary”. While on this forum I have been taught about the beauty of the 54 day Rosary novena. Currently, I am doing the Ignatian retreat with others from this forum. There is so much love and sharing here.
 
Just so you know, faith is on no way incompatible with science (most of the science/faith conflict comes from atheistic scientists on the one hand who are responding to what some uninformed fringe Christian groups assert against scientific discovery. Both sides make a lot of noises, but it’s not a Catholic fight).

Second, who really gives a flying fig if some facebooker over there says prayer is the same as letters to Santa? Folks are free to say anything they like. That doesn’t mean they’re right, just that they are physically capable of saying it.

Quite frankly, it sounds like you’re hittong milestones in your spiritual development that you’re supposed to be hitting. You were supposed to have an unquestioning and childish faith when you were a child. And then you were supposed to ask the hard questions.
Just so you know, there are good answers to your hard questions.
I recommend “Handbook of Christian Apologetics” by Perter Kreeft.

I’ll pray for you on your journey.
Peace :pray:t2:❤️🙂
 
Last edited:
God made the adenine and guanine too. And everything down to the tiniest particles. God is the greatest scientist and engineer of all.

Facebook, pfffft
 
Last edited:
I know what your saying , you need a hug
http://thesearchforgod.com/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9vPvssuP3gIVjpTtCh3amwOhEAMYAiAAEgJjWfD_BwE
this may help with the search for God in a micro level, and I think it is obvious who created that .

But I bet it’s a million little things that cause you to doubt and it is the reason we are called to live in the Spirit and not the flesh.
look God is real he is the creator of everything visible and invisible, and it sounds like you know that in your heart and soul, now all you need do is trust him, trust him in the doubt and trust him to lead you.
Divine providence is such that the more you give to God of your worldly thoughts and possessions the more Grace he gives you, after a while you are going to have given everything to him as you become aware that your life will be easier when you surrender to God what is Gods.
At the moment your at a cross roads and a battle rages in you the world is pulling you one way and God is pulling you another.
Satan is a liar, he will attack you in the flesh as that is all he is allowed to touch. He is attacking your intellect a common place for him, so you need to step up and surround yourself with the weapons of God, read the Saints for inspiration, spend time in Adoration and Pray for help, God is so good and he loves you very much and it’s hard to see the light at times more so when we are under attack, so stay with Christ don’t leave him as he is your salvation and believe me he works for your good always. God Loves you and he has told you how to fight so you need to trust God now and get into the fight, time to man up and put on the big boy pants and give satan a good kick by ignoring his rants and lies.
Trust in God for everything and everything will become clear.
Consecrate yourself to Mary and that snake will run from you.
 
God is real. Ask for greater faith and it will be given, to those who have more will be given, those who have not will lose even more, this was written based on truth, so be uplifted by the simplicity of this promise.

God hears. All prayers are heard, this is truth. You are connected, all you have to do is pray.

God loves. He waits patiently for all us recalcitrant children. God knows all, and He knows His own creation intimately, which explains His mercy too.

As sevenswords suggests read about the lives of the saints again for encouragement and inspiration, for what they experienced and achieved really is there for all of us.
God bless you.
 
If you think about it. The size of the universe could increase faith because you can think “how could all of this be here without God” and the stuff about biology, I am in school now and although it is hard I don’t see how it disproves God. In fact biology allows us to get a small taste of how God made us and what the different parts of our bodies are for
 
Dear DeerAntler, I apologize in advance for my not-so-perfect English; I hope you will understand anyway. The experience of doubt is inherent with the experience of faith. There will always be in the heart of the believer a certain degree of uncertainty. The great question “What if it is not true?” will always be part of the faith. Great saints in the past have experienced the so called “night of the faith”, some examples are Saint Theresa of Lisieux and Saint Theresa of Calcutta. Those are saints that for all their lives have believed wholeheartedly in the truth of the existence of God, and that, at a certain point of their spiritual journey, began to question their faith. At times all the believers feel like they are in the middle of the great ocean of uncertainty and are threatened and overwhelmed by the waves. Faith is the little and apparently insignificant piece of wood that prevent us form drowning completely into the water. And in that moment faith is fueled by that little question that we cannot get out of our heads “What if, instead, is true?” There is a positive tension between this positions, between the complete leap of faith, which requires a total conversion, and the complete refusal of faith. This positive tension, in a certain sense, is constructive to faith, because it invites us to look for the Truth. God must be looked for, and must be looked for wholeheartedly if we want our faith to be solid. And God can be found. He can be found in the perfection of the creation, in the splendor of the liturgy. The privileged way of entering the mistery of God is through his Word, the only thing that will not pass, the only solid foundation for our home and for our life. Look for God daily through his Word, the Word that he carries on telling us. Find an experienced person in matter of faith that can help you. And remember always that Jesus one day said:
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him"
Mt. 7, 7-14
And the greatest gift the Heavenly Father concedes to us is faith.
Pax
 
DeerAntler said:
I’m asking for advice.
Click to expand...
Welcome to Catholic Answers Forums! Ah, we’ve got advice!

Most important advice: Practice your faith. Go to Mass, go to Confession, pray, serve other people.

Seek out programs at your parish (or nearby parishes) for adult faith formation and service to the poor and needy.

Be very careful in your choice of online communities and resources. There are some very Catholic-sounding websites, news outlets, and blogs which provoke fear and doubt among the faithful regarding the Church, the Pope, priests, the Mass, and the Sacraments. Even here at CAF, there are many members who do that. Beware.

Avoid atheist websites and blogs. They can be very persuasive, largely because they are one-sided. It’s rare that you find an atheist writer who seeks to simply understand faith and religion. (I can think of a few.) For now, just avoid.

In general, do not let the Internet be your spiritual director or your faith library. While there are solid Catholic resources out there, they are few, and finding them involves wading through a lot of muck.

Some good reading, if you don’t mind a slightly longish book, is The Fulfillment of All Desire: A Guidebook for the Journey to God Based on the Wisdom of the Saints, by Ralph Martin. There are many other good, faith-building books.

Do not compare yourself to others. Work on your own spiritual journey, starting from where you are. Do not let the strong faith of others discourage you. Rather let it motivate you and give you hope, as it did the young St. Augustine. When friends of his converted to Christianity before he did, he saw their love and joy, and he wanted to have it too.

Your faith, even such as it is, is a gift from God. Give thanks and praise to God for that, and for all your blessings.

I am praying for you. May the Holy Spirit strengthen and guide you on your Way.
 
Last edited:
DeerAntler said:
And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Click to expand...
You’re faith was sort of given to you as a child, but as an adult we’re asked to own it. You must ask, seek, knock. Pray, fast if you will, study: the bible, the catechism, church history, concilliar decrees, etc. To the extent that we get serious about our faith, God responds.
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." Heb 11:6
 
Last edited:
Hello, Deer Antler, I’m 23. For me, I had a different path where my dry period was more in my middle/high school and early college years and for different reasons. That said, I’m not sure how much will transfer to your situation, but I’m, hopeful what I say will help.

For me, sometimes still, I also have those thoughts of “am I talking to the air?” when praying. Even with the Eucharist I can find it hard to look at the host as something more than bread at times. So I think I somewhat know what you’re feeling. But I also know faith is not about the feeling, it’s more with the knowing. We can’t choose how we feel, but we can choose to assert a belief.

So when I have those “I’m talking to air” feelings, I can say in my head, “But I know I’m not just talking to air.”
And when I have those “How could this not just be a piece of bread” feelings, I can remind myself of the aplogetics and teachings of our forefathers and know it is Jesus.
And then when I do have the feelings that are good with prayer and Eucharist, it makes things all the more special.

As for books, I’d recommend The Imitation of Christ, though I’m not sure if it’s be the right fit for you. I’ve read Books I and IV in it and found IV to be lovely with the Eucharist. And as I read II, he really does hammer in the idea of,how this world will let us down, but if we put our trust in Jesus, He’s a friend am that will never desert us and we can know He’ll pull us through hardship in the end. I’d recommend seeing if you borrow it from a library first though as it is an older style.

I’ll say a prayer for you.
 
Last edited:
DeerAntler said:
I don’t know why but watching the video made me think “there is no way this is all God”.
Click to expand...
And out of curiosity, while I know you said you don’t know why you thought that, I’m wondering if you might have any guesses.
 
Do you have any faith? When i lacked faith but knew it was there i prayed a lot “Lord, i believe; help my unbelief” which is what the struggling father prayed to Jesus when He was healing his son. (Mark 9:24)

God brought my faith back thank GOD
 
I recommend Fr. Robert Spitzer. I’ve heard him on EWTN and really enjoyed listening to him. He has a number of talks through EWTN but also on youtube. He has a great way of discussing faith and science and describing just how fine tuned the universe really is, and that we truly are not here by accident.
 
Last edited:
In reading The Srory of a Soul I remember that St. Therese also suffered a “crisis of faith” at one point in her life. She said it was unbearable. Apparently, you are now in the same dark tunnel where she was. All I can say is accept your suffering, just as she did, and offer them for the sake of those who do not believe. Thank God that you can do what most people cannot do, and that is, to be able to suffer your lack of faith to save those who have no faith.

St. Therese said that she suffered this “lack of faith” not just for days or weeks, but for months. And it was horrible.
 
Thank y’all all very much for the replies. I have started a word document with every piece of advice I’ve gotten bullet pointed. It helps! I appreciate it!:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top