S
SavedByFaith
Guest
On June 13th, 2005 I started a 40 day prayer fast consisting of:
Daily Rosary
Stations of the Cross (2 stations per day)
Daily Mass Reading and Prayers
Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
I am doing this in an effort to walk away from outside influences and seek Gods guidance for me concerning conversion to the Catholic faith.
Everything went fine for about 3 weeks (20 days or so) and I was becoming increasingly convinced that I was on the right path and within the will of God. On about July 1st (halfway through my prayer fast) my faith was severely shaken and since that time I am consumed with doubt and fear. I can not convince myself that I am not wasting my time, where God is, if He truly cares for me, if Jesus was His Son or any other basic truths. When I say shaken, I really mean shaken badly. I get brief moments of faith while praying but it takes a full hour of my day and I cannot pray all day.
Is it normal to have to fight with evil so much or is it possible that I am just a loser or a cast off or something. Maybe the Calvinists are right about election and I just did not make the cut. I think all sorts of trash and cant seem to get back on my feet.
How do we go about getting faith back? I pray and pray and pray and ask and beg for faith. Yet I suffer. I have had a tough go at life in general for the last 4-5 years and have suffered much. I have been more patient that most in my suffering and have truly tried to please God in my suffering and yet I keep trudging along with no absolute truth, weak faith, no church home and nowhere that I feel that I belong.
Daily Rosary
Stations of the Cross (2 stations per day)
Daily Mass Reading and Prayers
Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
I am doing this in an effort to walk away from outside influences and seek Gods guidance for me concerning conversion to the Catholic faith.
Everything went fine for about 3 weeks (20 days or so) and I was becoming increasingly convinced that I was on the right path and within the will of God. On about July 1st (halfway through my prayer fast) my faith was severely shaken and since that time I am consumed with doubt and fear. I can not convince myself that I am not wasting my time, where God is, if He truly cares for me, if Jesus was His Son or any other basic truths. When I say shaken, I really mean shaken badly. I get brief moments of faith while praying but it takes a full hour of my day and I cannot pray all day.
Is it normal to have to fight with evil so much or is it possible that I am just a loser or a cast off or something. Maybe the Calvinists are right about election and I just did not make the cut. I think all sorts of trash and cant seem to get back on my feet.
How do we go about getting faith back? I pray and pray and pray and ask and beg for faith. Yet I suffer. I have had a tough go at life in general for the last 4-5 years and have suffered much. I have been more patient that most in my suffering and have truly tried to please God in my suffering and yet I keep trudging along with no absolute truth, weak faith, no church home and nowhere that I feel that I belong.