My family doesn't approve

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BeeRod

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Let me begin by saying I am very excited about Holy Week. After my final RCIA class last night, I’m more than ready to make that final step.

However, when I was talking to my mother this afternoon about inviting her to Easter Vigil, she was shocked. (Quick back story: parents were Catholics but left the Church when I was 8. My mom and brother are currently Pentecostals). The tone of her voice says it all. She even made a comment about me going “backwards” and that I’m only doing this for my fiance. I’m really upset because I wanted my mom to be there, even though we don’t follow the same doctrine. However, I felt I failed her as a daughter because for over 20 years, she and the rest of my family taught me how to worship Christ that way. The point is I’ve always felt I was Catholic, even during the years I would bounce from church to church. All I did was finally taking accountability of something I delayed way too long. Plus, my fiance had nothing to do with this. Being with him only strengthen my desire to finally take that step. He never forced me to convert, he encouraged me because that’s what I wanted.

Now I have a feeling she’s going to tell the rest of my family and everyone will find a way to make me change my mind before next Saturday. Even worse, they might not even attend my wedding later this year because it’s held at the Church. 😦
 
BeeRod said:
Let me begin by saying I am very excited about Holy Week. After my final RCIA class last night, I’m more than ready to make that final step.

However, when I was talking to my mother this afternoon about inviting her to Easter Vigil, she was shocked. (Quick back story: parents were Catholics but left the Church when I was 8. My mom and brother are currently Pentecostals). The tone of her voice says it all. She even made a comment about me going “backwards” and that I’m only doing this for my fiance. I’m really upset because I wanted my mom to be there, even though we don’t follow the same doctrine. However, I felt I failed her as a daughter because for over 20 years, she and the rest of my family taught me how to worship Christ that way. The point is I’ve always felt I was Catholic, even during the years I would bounce from church to church. All I did was finally taking accountability of something I delayed way too long. Plus, my fiance had nothing to do with this. Being with him only strengthen my desire to finally take that step. He never forced me to convert, he encouraged me because that’s what I wanted.

Now I have a feeling she’s going to tell the rest of my family and everyone will find a way to make me change my mind before next Saturday. Even worse, they might not even attend my wedding later this year because it’s held at the Church. 😦
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First of all, welcome home!

If your mother refuses to attend the Easter Vigil, then there is nothing you can do about it.
She declined the invitation and you can’t force her to go with you. You are an adult and she should realize that you are capable of making your own decisions. Since you’re getting married soon (congratulations!), you have to start thinking about you and your future husband. Family is important, but now that you’re about to start a new life with your fiance, he and the children (if you plan on having kids) are your main priorities. Even if you think they might not attend your wedding, you should still invite them. Be very kind to them. If they don’t attend the wedding, it will be their loss.

God has lead you to His One True Church. If you think that your family will try to change your mind or revert you to Protestantism, I highly recommend reading scripture and apologetics, attending Mass, reciting the rosary, and going to Eucharistic Adoration to fortify your Faith. Also, pray and offer up sacrifices for them. Who knows, God might use you as His instrument to bring them back to the Catholic Faith.

Praying for you!
 
Welcome home! 👍

Many (or even most) converts experience some issues with family and friends. In my experience, fallen away Catholics are most unforgiving when it comes to these things. Keep your family in your prayers and be strong. You are an adult and are free to make this decision. It is up to them if they will come to the Easter vigil or not. I know how painful it is to be rejected by those you love because of your faith, but Christ asks us to take up the cross and follow him. He will never let you down and will give you the strength to deal with this situation. As for them trying to convert you, you can simply refuse to engage in a discussion about this. Avoid them for the time being if necessary. Let nothing disturb you and pull you away from Christ and his church.
 
When you see what I do, patterns forms, seeing his seed planted in areas like this. Knowing it’s going to take root, knowing that it will produce so much good fruit, knowing that very seed is also planted in others around this Loving soul, not yet producing fruit, but can and will seeing it’s potential… You see where I am going with this.

You will very likely be talking on this board, and speaking about how they have gained a new interest in the faith, a new respect along what it stands for, and who it believes in. Jesus built his church all right, and we do have many gray areas along who’s included, but make one thing very clear. If they, you and I all LOVE the Lord, honestly, do you really need much more then that. Formalities is their hang up, don’t let it be a stumbling block for you. You my friend have traveled very far, in your mind and many others, don’t let a few speed bumps derail the momentum you have gained.

God so very much Loves you, and moving further into him is what it is about. You will see what I mean soon enough, but the main thing is, in your world, pray for them and pray the Lord Changes their hearts to aid and support. Jesus said, be like these, referencing little children, and this is how one should and must approach him. Nothing wrong with youth at all my brother in Christ, you have very great things ahead of you to experience, the likes of which, this step would make absolute significance!
 
Our Father has brought you this far, He is not going to let you go. And neither are we ;).

I am certain that you will remain respectful of your parents beliefs about the faith and in this most difficult and joyous time continue to love them for where they are at and do not debate your call to come home. They will only pressure you more.
The opposition is digging in its heals for you not to become Catholic, especially at Lent. Pope Francis said a few days ago “Never give in to the devil’s pessimism, discouragement and bitterness…”
You will remain in my prayers and I will offer my Adoration for you tomorrow.
 
Sweet heart, worry more what God think of you then what others think of you. You are doing the right thing, i can assure you. Jesus will be there. Truly, the Catholic church is the true one. You know this in your heart.

If anything, now your family are blessed beyond word because they have someone to pray for them and the power of prayer has no limitation. Keep on praying for them, even do the rosary and fasting.

Love to you and i pray for you and your family also
-Chantal
 
I know it’s hard to go against family. I’m the only Catholic in mine. Of couse, no one else in my family has any direct experience with the Catholic Church. But they still think I’m off my rocker for believing the way I do. But it is where God led me. May God be faithful and continue to lead you.
 
Christy_Beth said:
I know it’s hard to go against family. I’m the only Catholic in mine. Of couse, no one else in my family has any direct experience with the Catholic Church. But they still think I’m off my rocker for believing the way I do. But it is where God led me. May God be faithful and continue to lead you.
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Give it time, they will see the fruit you bear and come around, it’s a test of patience at this point, not if but when is where you gotta keep your mind focus upon.
 
BeeRod,

Two things:
  1. Welcome home. I became Catholic when I was 30!
  2. I feel for you. My mother hates the Church, too, and was none too happy.
Anyway, I think this is what Christ is talking about when he says that he brings a sword to divide parent and child etc etc. Nothing, not even family, can get in the way of our relationship with Jesus Christ.
 
I know exactly what you’re going through! I lost my family when I left Mormonism and it’s been 15 years. Things are “ok” now, but know that you are doing what God wants you to do. It’s not easy but it is sooooo worth it!!

Welcome Home!!!

Steph
 
I have a similar background. I was raised Catholic, married in the Church, and baptized our oldest daughter in the Church. We then moved closer to my husband’s family who are all Pentecostals. I was immature in my a Catholic faith and felt pressured to leave. I was in a Pentecostal or non-denominational church for the past 15 years. My husband and I have gone on to have three more children who were all raised Protestant. Last summer I had a very strong feeling that I was supposed to go to confession. I had not been in 20 years. I was terrified but it ended up one of the best experiences of my life. I have fully returned to Catholicism and I couldn’t be happier. My husband is interested in converting as well as my two youngest children. But my oldest two, both girls, are not in favor of my change. To say that it has been difficult is an understatement. I have gotten counsel from the priest to let my girls choose now since they are 17 and 15 years old. My husband’s family as well as the entire Pentecostal church I am leaving will not understand. I really feel your pain there. Ex-Catholics are the most vehement about their dislike for their roots.

I encourage you to read Scott Hahn’s book Rome Sweet Home. Watch The Journey Home on YouTube. The best strategy for respectfully defending your choice is to arm yourself with the Truth. Many ex-Catholics don’t understand Catholicism at all. Scott Hahn also has a book titled Reasons to Believe: How to Understand, Explain, and Defend the Catholic Faith. The author is a convert himself and understands the battles you face.

You will be in my prayers!!

Elise in NC
 
I want to thank everyone for the responses! It’s been a troubling week because it still seems my mom is trying to reconsider. She invited me to her church’s Good Friday service tonight but I’ve already made plans to attend Mass this afternoon with my fiancé. I love my mom but I’ve made up my mind. Good thing the other half is helping me through this.

Now I’m gonna enjoy my heavy breakfast!
 
I was sort of in the same boat. I left the catholic church at age 10 and went to an evangelistic one for a little over 10 years. My family was supportive and whatnot but I got fed up with the ways of the evangelistic church and went back to the catholic one. I always felt catholic and felt like I was missing something. I never did communion or got confirmed only baptized. Last year both me and my husband did communion and got confirmed and I have no regrets. The only reason that I went to the evangelistic church to begin with is because I was trying to make one of my cousins happy. You can’t make everyone happy though. That was the biggest lesson I’ve ever learned in 27 years. You have to do what works for you. I still talk to a few people from that church but I keep my distance from some other people because they don’t like what I did and try to get me to come back and my reply has always been and always will be “I AM A FLAMBOYANT LOUD AND PROUD ROMAN CATHOLIC!” 😃
 
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