My faults keep bringing me down

[SimpleSinner]

How do you keep from letting your own faults bring you down. Today I went to a prayer group and I was afraid to lead the prayers of the rosary… Once it was my turn to lead , all I was filled with was pride. I said the prayers really slow, so to convince myself and others that I was holy… I made outward gestures to Our Lord in the tabernacle just for vainglory

Watching EWTN I see so many people in love with God and not afraid to show it, while I am timid, afraid and shy… I often entertain the idea of joining a religious order when I enter the Church, but I feel like I’m only deceiving myself, and I won’t amount to anything. It makes me cry because at home I try my best to give Jesus and Mary everything, but in public I only let myself down.

 

[Divine_Mercy83]

All we can do is try our best to follow the Lord. Keep his commandments but also know that is why we have the blessing of receiving the Holy Sacrament of Confession and Holy Communion. Trust in Jesus Mercy, He shed His Blood so that we may have Salvation . Once we reppent and do pennace our sins our washed away. Trust in him and may I suggest praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Trust in Jesus and be at peace. God bless you.

 

[Tietjen]

How do you keep from letting your own faults bring you down. Today I went to a prayer group and I was afraid to lead the prayers of the rosary… Once it was my turn to lead , all I was filled with was pride. I said the prayers really slow, so to convince myself and others that I was holy… I made outward gestures to Our Lord in the tabernacle just for vainglory

Watching EWTN I see so many people in love with God and not afraid to show it, while I am timid, afraid and shy… I often entertain the idea of joining a religious order when I enter the Church, but I feel like I’m only deceiving myself, and I won’t amount to anything. It makes me cry because at home I try my best to give Jesus and Mary everything, but in public I only let myself down.

I’m not completely sure that I understand. Are you concerned that you are faking your love for Christ when in public? That you are doing the things that you do because of pride rather than out of love for God? If that’s the case, pray in private. Go to adoration alone. Pray the rosary in your bedroom with the door closed or with your family. It’s often when we are alone and things are quiet that we can hear God more clearly.

 

[SimpleSinner]

Thank you… All I needed was a good night’s rest. I feel much better now, and I’m going to keep trying my best. God loves me and knows my faults, there is no need to wallow in them. The best I can do is get back up and be smarter and try harder.

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Problem Solved

 

[GloriousOrder]

Dear friend, I am in exactly the same position as yourself! You’ve basically described me entirely, by your post.

My suggestion is that you practice Lectio Divina. This is a mystical practice of reading the Bible at a specific verse or chapter, meditating on it, contemplating what God is saying to you through it, and sitting alone in thought and prayer. You are obviously of the melancholic disposition, which is always afraid of the opinions of others, but only because you love others deeply and feel too awkward to show it. You make grand plans to make charity, love, faith, pious speeches, and good works while at home, but in public you lose your nerve. This is the worst suffering of the melancholic, and can only be overcome by the divine majesty of Christ, who had taken away all our burdens.

You are burdening yourself with a shadow-load! It’s the imagination and memory of what Christ took away from you that is bothering you. He resolved to wash away every evil with His precious blood, and it has stained the cross violently. By the wood of that small tree of life, all the grace of the Universe has flowed into our hearts. As a diffident and shy person by nature, you must absolutely never despair, for God HIMSELF has come and saved us (!!!). This has opened you up to a joy unheard of and unknown.

If you just read the Sermon on the Mount, or the Book of Proverbs, you will see the joy of God. You will really, really, really want to DO the things you plan (with so much holiness) to do. Your innocent love of God and trust and faith in His guiding hand will explode forth if you read, meditate, and contemplate on what the Bible says specifically to you, a person. We are all His poor little ones, but He leads us regardless of that fact; indeed, He leads us despite our poverty and crippled nature! He wants us with Him, and nothing can ever change this fact… not even a few inconsequential slip-ups made by a faithful child.