My fiancé is Greek Orthodox and I have some questions/concerns

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He doesn’t agree with a lot of the canon of the Roman Church and since all the negative history in the Catholic Church such as buying your way to heavy ( I think called indulgences) and other things from a long time ago he thinks they have way to much corruption and he also doesn’t believe in the concept of an infallible pope and doesn’t believe the pope is anymore special then anyone else
 
Well obviously every church is going to think it is the right way and the Orthodox is no different. And apparently the Orthodox Church believes that they are the one true church and that the were the first Christian Church and that Catholics broke off from them( I was always under the impression that the Catholic Church was the first church and the oldest Christian Church after Christ). Also he finds the Catholic services boring and says he could never see himself being Catholic with I’m ok with and never have tried to convert him but it does make me a bit concerned because he doesn’t always do his own research on things of his church and will go on hearsay until we get into a fight about something then he’ll go talk to the priest or look it up and find out whatever he was told by some parish member wasn’t right or common ( like the whole no sex during lent thing). I brought up what people were saying on here about maybe he should wait a year before he gets baptized but he just says that he doesn’t want to wait and in his heart he feels that this is right and the Orthodox Church gives him peace.
 
That doesn’t mean it can be done. You are not listening. The Catholic Church guidelines are that it should be in the Orthodox Church.

And see Canon 1127 regarding two ceremonies:

Canon 1127 §3. It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration according to the norm of §1.

It’s not just about what you want or what the Orthodox priest says is OK. You as a Catholic must follow the laws of the Catholic Church.

I really encourage you to talk to your pastor to get guidance from the Catholic perspective and keep in mind if he is not familiar with Orthodox-Catholic marriages he may need guidance from the diocese.
 
I have talked to my priest and he said it did not matter where the wedding was and that it could take place in the Catholic Church. Also my fiancé brought up how you can’t have 2 ceremonies to his priest and he said that while it would be preferable that there is also a ceremony in the Orthodox Church, that they might be able to get written permission to have the Catholic service valid
 
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Ginnyb98 said:
I brought up what people were saying on here about maybe he should wait a year before he gets baptized
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I don’t think he necessarily wait to get baptized, but he’s still figuring this stuff out, and you can’t go where he’s going if he doesn’t know where he’s going.
 
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I agree but at this point I think he’s pretty much made up his mind.
 
Well, I would encourage him to research what the Church does and teaches TODAY.
He can’t be against something he knows little about. I myself know little about the Orthodox church, which is why this conversation is interesting to me. I would think, for the sake of his beloved, he would want to learn as much as he could about your faith. Then, and only then, can he make a reasoned decision.
Education and solid information is always a good thing to have under your belt, especially when beginning a life together.
 
Ginnyb98 said:
He doesn’t agree with a lot of the canon of the Roman Church and since all the negative history in the Catholic Church such as buying your way to heavy ( I think called indulgences) and other things from a long time ago
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Sounds like maybe you don’t know as much about the Catholic faith as you need to.

Hint: the Church never taught you could buy your way to heaven.
 
I agree and his mom/ family use to be catholic but then joined another church I think but he said he has never been drawn to a catholic service ever since he was little and in his life he has only been to like 2 lively masses where he felt like people actually believed what was being said and not just going through the motions. And he has never been a fan of the Catholic Church and he says being Orthodox now has made him understand the Catholics a bit better but it still doesn’t change his opinions much. He believes that the Orthodox Church is the one true church and that all the other churches stemmed from it ( including Catholics) and he says he feels at home in the Orthodox Church.
 
If he decides to keep his Orthodox faith, then he can marry only in the Orthodox Church, and you two must promise the priest that you will raise your future children in the Orthodox Church.
 
Ginnyb98 said:
he said he has never been drawn to a catholic service ever since he was little and in his life he has only been to like 2 lively masses where he felt like people actually believed what was being said and not just going through the motions.
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This is going to sound mean, but that’s a really immature way to view other people’s religious practice.

People don’t have to be jumping up and down to be sincere, and some people who are jumping up and down are also “just going through the motions.” Also, I assure you that there are a lot of Orthodox people just “going through the motions,” especially since in contemporary Russia it’s gotten to be very politically profitable for politicians to be photographed in church holding candles, lighting candles, etc.

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Russian President Vladimir Putin lights a candle during a visit to the newly restored Church of St Vladimir at the Moscow Diocesan House to mark 1000 years since the death of St. Vladimir July 27, 2015 in Moscow, Russia Stock Photo - Alamy

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I’m sure your fiance is a great guy in many ways, but I would not trust my future or my hypothetical children’s future to a guy with this level of maturity and judgment, especially since if he’s 29, this is probably as good as it is going to get. (Some people do mature with middle age, but a lot of people don’t.)
 
Ginnyb98 said:
I agree and his mom/ family use to be catholic but then joined another church
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Well, this is new information. He may actually be a Catholic, then. Was he baptized into the Catholic Church as a baby? If so, he is a Catholic.
Ginnyb98 said:
he has only been to like 2 lively masses where he felt like people actually believed what was being said and not just going through the motions.
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Now he is omniscient. And judging other people’s faith. Frankly your fiancé sounds like an immature person.
 
Xantippe said:
I would not trust my future or my hypothetical children’s future to a guy with this level of maturity and judgment, especially since if he’s 29
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This is exactly what struck me. He sounds 18, not 29, and that is troubling.

I think there are a whole pile of red flags here and the OP is unwilling to acknowledge them.
 
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1ke said:
I think there are a whole pile of red flags here and the OP is unwilling to acknowledge them.
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OP,

Here’s what I think may be going on. You’re 22 and you sound 22 and that’s fine–but what you probably don’t see is that your fiance does not have the maturity that a 29-year-old guy who has been making his way in the world for a decade ought to have.

It can be hard for a younger person to realize that an older person that they are dating is immature. When I was several years younger than the OP, I was dating a 35/36-year-old guy, and it was only years later (when I myself was 35+ and married for quite a few years and with a couple of kids) that I realized how immature he had been. It was not as clear to me when I was younger, because I didn’t have the experience to know where a 35-year-old ought to be in life, and of course he was superficially more experienced, just by virtue of being quite a bit older than me.

OP, as a 22-year-old, you shouldn’t be more mature and have better judgment than your future husband.
 
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There lies the problem. As a Catholic you cannot have two religious wedding ceremonies.
 
That is not true. He has talked to his priest numerous times and he said it would not be a problem if we raised our children Catholic. Ideally they would prefer Orthodox but it is ultimately up to the parents. And the priest said that there was no problem in having 2 ceremonies and that the catholic one could even be first.
 
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