My fiance makes our home a terror place fi

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TheWarriorMonk said:
I wouldn’t recommend child protective services taking her child.If the child cannot live with the parents, I would strongly recommend having a family take care of the child if possible. I’d also recommend doing this through an attorney, this way the family member can have legal custody until the court decides otherwise.
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I would have suggested such but OP stated before she didn’t want to get her family involved.
 
I work for the courts, here’s some unsolicited advice:
  1. Get an order of protection from him.
  2. Get an attorney.
 
SybilMolly said:
I would have suggested such but OP stated before she didn’t want to get her family involved.
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There’s a difference between not wanting to get one’s family involved, then being faced with placing one’s own child in family’s hands versus that of complete strangers.
 
TheWarriorMonk said:
There’s a difference between not wanting to get one’s family involved, then being faced with placing one’s own child in family’s hands versus that of complete strangers.
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Yeah, but I fear our OP will hide her head in the sand until she doesn’t have much of a choice. Eventually, someone is going to find out what is going on and take action to protect the child.

I don’t know how it works where the OP lives, but here CPS usually asks the parent(s) if they have a friend or family member willing to accept responsibility for the child when a child is removed from parental custody. If the friend or family member agrees the child is temporarily handed over to them until the parent corrects their situation or the courts terminate rights. A few days to a week in foster care while the CPS does a background check and gets the paperwork in order. Better than going into foster care indefinitely.

But hopefully none of this will be necessary and the OP will remove this man from her life ASAP.
 
MJJean said:
Yeah, but I fear our OP will hide her head in the sand until she doesn’t have much of a choice. Eventually, someone is going to find out what is going on and take action to protect the child.

I don’t know how it works where the OP lives, but here CPS usually asks the parent(s) if they have a friend or family member willing to accept responsibility for the child when a child is removed from parental custody. If the friend or family member agrees the child is temporarily handed over to them until the parent corrects their situation or the courts terminate rights. A few days to a week in foster care while the CPS does a background check and gets the paperwork in order. Better than going into foster care indefinitely.

But hopefully none of this will be necessary and the OP will remove this man from her life ASAP.
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Social worker here. Yup. Generally how it works. “Kinder care.” In our state CPS asks for all your relatives’ info and does home inspections, etc.

Preferable most likely to living in this mess!
 
robwar said:
The Godly answer is this: Stop having sex with someone you are not married to, having a child by him and then letting him beat you up. There is nothing Godly here. You need to get out of this now, call the police, call protective services and stop kidding yourself with these questions of it it is God’s will. It is not God’s will to have sex outside marriage, that is called mortal sin and mortal sin cuts you off from God. God doesn’t want you to marry someone who is beating you up. That is someone to get away from, not marry. Get away from him NOW!
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^THIS.^

Start here - chastity.com/ - and with the protective services. Run far and run fast from this spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically damaging situation.
 
I will pray for you, but I agree with others - leave now before things get worse. God loves you and wants you free from this. His love is not what you are getting. He wants to free you but you must trust in this advise you are getting which seems unanimous. My dear, God wants to help you but you need to take the first step and trust that He will help you!

My love and prayers,
mlz

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray and do thou O’ Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl the world for the ruin of souls. Amen!
 
SybilMolly said:
I would have suggested such but OP stated before she didn’t want to get her family involved.
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But as far as the safety of her child is concerned, ultimately it’s not down to what she wishes, it’s down to what is in the best interests of her child, regardless of her own personal wishes.
 
Brendan_64 said:
But as far as the safety of her child is concerned, ultimately it’s not down to what she wishes, it’s down to what is in the best interests of her child, regardless of her own personal wishes.
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I did note this previously also, and it’s always a very important point for any matter. Many people come on here asking for advice for themselves. As the discussion progresses we’ll often find of that children are involved, yet the questions are often about “What’s best for me” without any consideration given to the children. My though process on giving any advice starts with “what’s best for the children,” and proceeds from there.
 
TheWarriorMonk said:
I did note this previously also, and it’s always a very important point for any matter. Many people come on here asking for advice for themselves. As the discussion progresses we’ll often find of that children are involved, yet the questions are often about “What’s best for me” without any consideration given to the children. My though process on giving any advice starts with “what’s best for the children,” and proceeds from there.
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Absolutely. Otherwise the generational cycle of abuse and dysfunction (which I’d bet money the OP has been through herself) just keeps on repeating. Not a recipe for success. :nope:

OP, if you’re still around, here’s another thread about chastity - if you have respect for yourself, it is easier to achieve - and it will attract a better caliber of man.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=845556
 
Some problems are too complicated for CAF. Please consult a professional or priest for help and guidance.
 
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