My fiance stole from my little brother. .

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kalerumi said:
My brother is disappointed, but keeps telling me “You don’t have to break it up over this! Let him make it up to you!” Him being hurt is what infuriates me. He’s had a rough year, and I could go Texan on my now-ex-fiance’s rear end for doing this to him.

And now I’m finding out that my “antique” engagement ring may not be an “antique” at all but a reproduction made last year. . .I believe this calls for cookie dough and Dr. Who. Thanks everyone for your prayers, I sincerely covet them.
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:console:

It really sounds like you dodged a bullet here.
 
I second Mia’s post here. Sorry this happened Kassie but God sometimes answers our prayers in unexpected ways. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, it takes a lot of work to get back the trust your fiance has lost. Work that only he can do. God bless you and your family.
 
kalerumi said:
…And now I’m finding out that my “antique” engagement ring may not be an “antique” at all but a reproduction made last year. . .I believe this calls for cookie dough and Dr. Who. Thanks everyone for your prayers, I sincerely covet them.
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:tissues: Tissues and prayers for you. :gopray:
Wise decision to call off the engagement and back away from this relationship while you sort things out. Good to find this out now rather than later, but it certainly cannot be easy. You sound like a great young woman and you deserve better.
 
Oh, that’s another good one… when they give you a ring, get it appraised by a professional. A professional can tell you a lot by looking at cut and style and wear of a piece of jewelry. And how many women walk around with CZ rings thinking it’s the real deal? Better find out sooner rather than later if they are not only a charlatan, but a cheap one at that. Someone who would lie about the engagement ring??? :eek:

And I’m getting that whole NPD vibe from him. Narcissists attack YOU and blame YOU when they are discovered. Now it’s YOUR fault for letting a little lying and stealing come between you two and 13 months of your life?

How long have you been engaged? They say you should only get engaged after knowing someone at least 1 year. Gives time for all the dust bunnies and stuff to shake out and for the stuff to slither out from under the rocks.

Your little brother can learn a lot from this… about trusting people too soon, about appearances, and about the importance of what they say in the honor code at military academies: I will not lie, cheat or steal or tolerate those who do.

You are a wise young woman. You dodged a very serious bullet. Don’t EVER ignore that little instinct… whether it’s your guardian angel whispering in your ear or the Holy Spirit… you had clarity about being deceived and you didn’t ignore it. 👍
 
I’ve also told my daughters that if you catch someone in a lie, end it. Just end it immediately. If they lie to you once, they’ll lie to you again.

I found that out the hard way.
 
I agree that your decision was a good one, Kalerumi. You seem to be a well-rounded young Catholic lady that deserves much better than that (not like any woman deserves that). I agree with Liberanos, it looks like a personality issue. Possibly NPD, possibly something else, one is sure: he needs professional aid and he needs to sort those things out if he ever is to marry.
 
*I agree with everyone else, and think breaking off the engagement is important. The whole scenario sounds very strange…that he would concoct such a story, stealing then covering it up…then telling you another story to cover the other story up. The fact that he involved your dear brother…the whole thing is just better off ending.

I’m so sorry this happened, but better to find out before a marriage. I will pray for you to have peace of mind and strength, over your decision. :console: And praying for your brother to heal over this, also. Poor kid. :(*
 
*Oh, and he lied about the ring? :eek: I just read that. :tsktsk: That is a huge red flag.

He might be a pathological liar…would that definition fit this? Don’t they compulsively lie, like they start believing their own lies or something? I have heard the term used before.

Again–so sorry!!! *
 
kalerumi said:
I am shocked, my family is shocked, and I’m hurt. . .I want to end it all, but part of me wants to let him have a chance to regain my trust. I don’t know what to do and I’m just a mess of emotions right now. Sorry this is so long.
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I’d be giving him back his ring so fast it would make his head spin.

It’s one thing when you’re already married but now you know who he is. Will you be able to trust him again?
 
It is hard enough to live life and keep out of trouble with out someone who is going to purposely do things like that. He has just shown you who he really is believe what he does over what he says. This is some seriously twisted logic he has going.
 
Just another poster chiming in to say that I think you made a very prudent decision:thumbsup:

So sorry about what happened though 😦
I hope you and your brother find healing and peace.

I sooo badly wish sin didn’t exist in this world anymore:nope:
 
Just wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened - and give you the thumbs up for making a wise decision. Also may I say that your brother sounds like an amazing kid - give him a hug from me!
 
Sigh. A relationship with a pathological liar, now that we’re considering that possibility, is a very trying thing. At some point you don’t know what’s true and what’s not and you’re blamed or even blame yourself for discovering or doubting.
 
kalerumi said:
I am shocked, my family is shocked, and I’m hurt. .** .I want to end it all, **but part of me wants to let him have a chance to regain my trust. I don’t know what to do and I’m just a mess of emotions right now. Sorry this is so long.
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Go with your first instinct. Dump the loser at the curb with the rest of the garbage.

He has no respect for you or your family. He steals from you and yours and thinks you are stupid enough to believe anything he’ll tell you.
 
kalerumi said:
My brother is disappointed, but keeps telling me “You don’t have to break it up over this! Let him make it up to you!” Him being hurt is what infuriates me. He’s had a rough year, and I could go Texan on my now-ex-fiance’s rear end for doing this to him.
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Tell your younger brother its not his fault (he feels its his fault you are broke up). Actually go the exta mile and thank him for helping you avoid a serious mistake and maybe a little bashing on the X in front of him will let him know it wasn’t him and his game that broke you up.
 
kalerumi said:
. . . . my fiance has stolen my 14-year-old brother’s Play Station Portable . . . . He denied it vehemently, . . He finally confessed when it was obvious . . . His excuse for stealing it is even more bizarre . . I don’t know what to do and I’m just a mess of emotions right now. Sorry this is so long.
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Kalerumi, lets just put this in perspective: a ‘PSP’ is pretty low on the totem-pole of ‘temptations’ that a married man will face; how will this man-boy perform when faced with much greater temptations that will directly affect your marriage/family/children??? (cheating, embezzlement on the job, political crookedness, etc). I think you already have the answer. Would be curious to hear what his reply to this question would be - I’d submit it to him in writing (a letter), and request the reply in writing (a letter).
 
SamH said:
Tell your younger brother its not his fault (he feels its his fault you are broke up). Actually go the exta mile and thank him for helping you avoid a serious mistake and maybe a little bashing on the X in front of him will let him know it wasn’t him and his game that broke you up.
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That’s a really good observation. Maybe the little guy is asking the OP to give him a chance because he feels he is somehow responsible 😦
 
SamH said:
Tell your younger brother its not his fault (he feels its his fault you are broke up). Actually go the exta mile and thank him for helping you avoid a serious mistake and maybe a little bashing on the X in front of him will let him know it wasn’t him and his game that broke you up.
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Very good advice, thanks so much.
 
So sorry to hear about all of this…prayers for continued strength! You made a very hard, but very intelligent choice! when you mentioned he has few friends that was another flag for me…someone who can not keep relationships with others usually has a hidden problem in my limited experience. I do pray that you and your younger brother have the strength to continue this fight…🙂
 
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