My first confession in nearly 30 years

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juno24

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Last night, I made my first confession in nearly 30 years. I still can’t believe it.
A little over a week ago, Father Paul announced that our parish mission would take place this week, with a 3 day presentation by the Redemptorist fathers. He made it known that the mission presentation would be part of a penance service, with individual Reconciliation available after.
I have been trying to get up the courage for a long time to go back to Confession, and even came so close once that I almost got in line at the confessional. But even then, I could not bring myself to do it. This time, I knew it would be different. When I heard Father Paul tell us about the mission, I also heard the Holy Spirit tell me that I needed to be there.
I prayed all week for the strength and courage to get me into the confessional. During the mission presentation, the Redemptorist Father did a “mock Confession”, which I believe put a great many of us at ease. Father started with “bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been 55 years since my last confession.” He “confessed” to all kinds of sins (from the “I yelled at my little brother” variety, to the “I robbed a bank 37 times” variety). And at the end, he was absolved and given a penance. He turned to us and said, “It’s that easy”. Although I was committed to going to Confession last night, Father really put me at ease by his humor, his compassion and his enthusiasm. It made getting in line after the service that much easier.
My knees were still knocking as I stood in line, but I was not terrified anymore. Then, to top it off, when I did finally walk into that confessional, and the priest who was there slid open the window, I found the words (and the tears) just flowing from me. The first thing Father said when I told him it had been nearly 30 years was “Welcome home!” I don’t know if I had been expecting dissapproval, or some kind of recrimination, but that simple “welcome home” and his bright beautiful smile just made the rest of it so much easier!
Afterwards, I did not feel the euphoria that many people report feeling after confession, but I did (and still do) feel a great relief-- as though a great weight has been removed from me. I can honestly say, I do not want to ever to go so long without this wonderful sacrament again!
I just want to say thank you to all of you who have posted encouragement and have told of your own experiences with confession. I have been reading all the posts on these forums regarding confession, and going back after a long time away. I believe you all have been instruments of the Holy Spirit bringing me back into full communion with the Church. Thank you all for your witness, and thank You, Lord, for giving me the strength to follow through this time.
 
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Eireann:
Great post, and :blessyou: and thank God the shackles of sin have been removed from you, tears are a good sign as can be seen in the sermon on this link

catholic-forum.com/saints/stj18019.htm
Thank you, Eireann. I read the link, and I think I understand better now than I did before the need for confession. I do think, in my case anyway, that the tears are a grace from God. I often cry during Mass, and of course as I said I cried during my confession. During the service last night, we said the Act of Contrition, and I could hardly make it through, I was crying so much. My mother is also blessed with tears. One time years ago we were at Mass, and she just started crying. I asked her after why she was crying, and she said she didn’t know, it just happens. At the time I thought, “how weird!”, but now I see it as a blessing.
 
Sounds like the thirty year burden is gone.

Keep going.
 
I just love that shiny clean just confessed feeling! Ain’t it great?
 
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