My first NFP class

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Elisabeth51

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I think there may be a prayer request need in here, and I don’t mean to be in the wrong place, really.

I went to my first NFP class today, very informative and I think the answers to my hormonal issues will be found, I do feel good about that. I look forward to the other two classes.

However, being the only single person made me very sad yet again. I am reminded again that I don’t have children and as much as I want them, the possibility seems so impossible. It’s hard to remind myself I know I’m called to marriage when no one seems interested in me … and because of his own issues with relationships the one person that I was friends with and felt an incredible sense of belonging and being with THE person with is acting oddly towards me. Having to look at other married people is so hard, I am happy for them, but I’m tired of being single and it just makes me sad. Today is a friend’s anniversary–five years, I am happy for them–and I know that if a mutual friend had not brought a friend from work to meet me, they would never have met and they are perfect for each other.

It’s just one of those times it’s hard to be around people, to see other couples, to see babies and feel my own heart breaking that I have no one.

I just needed to say that to someone. Thank you for listening.
 
I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time right now, but I’m glad your class went so well.
 
While we all know that things happen in Gods time, let me tell you a little of my story.
I had found out that my boyfriend had been intimate with someone - and it wasn’t me. I broke up with him and was kicking myself thinking ‘I guess I wasn’t good enough to wait for’ or something like that. I was glad I didn’t marry him but still hurt and felt like I’d never find anyone - even came to the conclusion I was better off alone and didn’t want to date anymore…not long after this one of my good friends showed up at my door -I’d known him since I was 12 - not too long later he asked me to marry him. We’ll have our 12th anniversary this July - I’m not telling you this to make you feel badly - I’m telling you this because for many right when we’re about to despair or give up is when God gives to us what our hearts truly desire. I pray you’ll find your heart’s true desire soon - when you do, please let us know. God knows what’s in your heart and where the man that will honor and cherish you and who is looking for the right woman who will honor and cherish him is right this second. He (God) can see the end of the path…we just have to stay on it.
God Bless
Rye
 
Sweety, don’t worry about it. I sat around for years, despairing of ever falling in love because I insisted on waiting until I was married to have sex. A lot of men started dating me, but walked out as soon as I said that. I finally met a wonderful Catholic man, who completely supported my choice - and had made the same choice himself - but only once i stopped looking.

Relax. Enjoy life, and pray. God will take care of you.
 
This morning I was feeling exactly as you are. I am also single but I do have a guy in my life, however this morning I was reading about yet another person finding out they are pregnant and who is loving their life as a new mom, these are people who are 22, 23 and just turned 24 and I was feeling down on myself. I had to take a step back and be grateful for my life as it is I have a job, good friends, a good guy in my life and I’m healthy.

It is hard being single when you don’t want to be and everyone around you seems to be where you want to be. Taking the time to be grateful for what you have and where you are is tough but it is what we need to at times.
 
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a difficult time. I always thought I’d be single forever. I never went on dates in middle or high school! Not even college. I guess it was because I didn’t hang out with like minded people. Sure, I was raised Catholic, but I didn’t start truly practicing again until after I graduated from college.

If you’re not already a member, join all of the Catholic dating websites, fill out your profile, and see what’s out there. Give everyone a chance, if you can, and have the time because you never know who you might meet 🙂 If you’re not already ,get involved with your parish, and maybe the parish that’s a 30 minute drive down the road. Join different young adult groups and meet a variety of people. Network .🙂 Keep looking and i’m sure you’re special someone will come along. But it also helps if you start the process, and always be open minded and never give up!!

I never got to online date but many of my friends have done it! All of their different experiences sound so fun/interesting and a few met their spouses. 🙂

I will be praying for you
 
I went to a Napro clinic and was taught NFP charting via the Creighton model one on one with a nurse by sliding scale method. I would have already been referred to an MD to have that charting followed up on except for a couple of issues with changes in my epilepsy medications affecting my charting. Now if you look at my ticker you will see why it would have been extremely depressing for me to have gone and sat in a class with a bunch of married couples since I am also childless. I am glad this clinic exists and I wonder if this would not also be an option for you.
 
Thank you 🙂 I really am glad I might be getting some answers to some issues through this method. The teaching couple is really nice, I already explained some of my problems and reasons for coming to them and they are already looking some things up for me and awaiting my first chart.

I am very involved in my parish, I always have been and in other things as well, but there is never anyone interested, actually I tend to be surrounded by married people and women no matter what I try and do. I know that probably sounds odd, in a way I’m glad–I’ve never had to test the “say no” line, I haven’t had a choice 🤷 but I have prayed for 20 yrs that since God would not let me date, He’d just show me the man when he came, to let me know. Young adults are a little young for me 🙂

Sometimes it’s harder than others to look around and be surrounded by married people and kids…this week is one of them.

Thank you for your prayers—please pray for Mr. Right too, he might need some help getting here or realising I’m here, maybe he thinks it’s too late for him and he’s ignoring God’s nudges, who knows! 🙂
 
I don’t think it’s sad that unmarried people are not at NFP classes. Sexual relations are only for marriage. NFP is only for married people, and then only in certain very limited circumstances. NFP classes for people who are not married, would appear to me to be a bit like putting the cart before the horse so to speak, and could very well distract someone from giving all due consideration to other states of life (priesthood, consecrated religious life).

Pax Christi
 
Dan_Daly said:
I don’t think it’s sad that unmarried people are not at NFP classes. Sexual relations are only for marriage. NFP is only for married people, and then only in certain very limited circumstances. NFP classes for people who are not married, would appear to me to be a bit like putting the cart before the horse so to speak, and could very well distract someone from giving all due consideration to other states of life (priesthood, consecrated religious life).

Pax Christi
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Actually NFP is not just about sexual relations - it is also about a woman getting to know and understand and embrace her fertility and her health. NFP is also a way of monitoring her health. More women should be encouraged to do just this as NFP can detect changes in a woman’s cycle that can signal a health issue even sooner than a once a year test or other methods. It can also let a woman know if there are hormone issues to address prior to marriage - some of which can lead to a higher number of miscarriages if not addressed. So there you go. But then again your view I think comes from a narrow utilitarian view of how NFP is used and not what it can accomplish.
 
Dan_Daly said:
I don’t think it’s sad that unmarried people are not at NFP classes. Sexual relations are only for marriage. NFP is only for married people, and then only in certain very limited circumstances. NFP classes for people who are not married, would appear to me to be a bit like putting the cart before the horse so to speak, and could very well distract someone from giving all due consideration to other states of life (priesthood, consecrated religious life).

Pax Christi
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Absolutely incorrect. I’m single and have been charting for 10 years for my health, and thank goodness because I found problems I never would have found out a couple of problems I had that needed fixing. I believe every woman should chart her cycle for health. Including the nun I saw in my napro doc’s office with a chart.
 
Charting and NFP are not one and the same, although charting can be a component of NFP.

Pax
 
joanofarc2008 said:
Actually NFP is not just about sexual relations - it is also about a woman getting to know and understand and embrace her fertility and her health. NFP is also a way of monitoring her health. More women should be encouraged to do just this as NFP can detect changes in a woman’s cycle that can signal a health issue even sooner than a once a year test or other methods. It can also let a woman know if there are hormone issues to address prior to marriage - some of which can lead to a higher number of miscarriages if not addressed. So there you go. But then again your view I think comes from a narrow utilitarian view of how NFP is used and not what it can accomplish.
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I appreciate the comments and understand that charting can help identify and treat many medical problems. However, as I said, charting and NFP are not one and the same.

If you don’t have two people, any family planning won’t get very far. It’s simply the way God made it to work.

There are two sides to the coin. Are there people who could gain a good deal of knowledge through charting? Yes, there are. Could that ability to chart be gained through something other than an “NFP class”? Yes, I think it can. Is NFP very widely taught in a distorted manner that focuses in your words on the “utilitarian” aspects and largely or completely ignores the very serious foundation of spiritual discernment? Yes, it is. Is it quite likely that such distorted teaching along with the general tenor of our society influences many people to adopt a contraceptive mindset and abuse NFP as a form of “Catholic contraception”. Yes, it is.

Perhaps others posting in this thread have had experiences quite different than I have. Of course details and particulars matter. Whether anyone, married or single should be attending an NFP class depends in great deal on which class it is and who is teaching it.

To give one example of the kind of experiences that contribute to my perspective, I know a recently married Catholic couple who were told at their pre-cana retreat, along with all the other couples, that every newly married couple should use NFP to try avoiding children for the first year of their marriage.

Period.

Of course, such advice is entirely erroneous, totally at odds with Church teaching and extremely harmful. Based on my own experience, and conversations with many other Catholics, I think this mindset that promotes the idea of “babies are burdens” is quite widespread, at least in the US.

Pax Christi
 
Dan_Daly said:
I don’t think it’s sad that unmarried people are not at NFP classes. Sexual relations are only for marriage. NFP is only for married people, and then only in certain very limited circumstances. NFP classes for people who are not married, would appear to me to be a bit like putting the cart before the horse so to speak, and could very well distract someone from giving all due consideration to other states of life (priesthood, consecrated religious life).

Pax Christi
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NFP can be used to achieve a pregnancy, as well.

There is nothing wrong with having knowledge of your own fertility, married or not.
 
Dan_Daly said:
I appreciate the comments and understand that charting can help identify and treat many medical problems. However, as I said, charting and NFP are not one and the same.

If you don’t have two people, any family planning won’t get very far. It’s simply the way God made it to work.

There are two sides to the coin. Are there people who could gain a good deal of knowledge through charting? Yes, there are. Could that ability to chart be gained through something other than an “NFP class”? Yes, I think it can. Is NFP very widely taught in a distorted manner that focuses in your words on the “utilitarian” aspects and largely or completely ignores the very serious foundation of spiritual discernment? Yes, it is. Is it quite likely that such distorted teaching along with the general tenor of our society influences many people to adopt a contraceptive mindset and abuse NFP as a form of “Catholic contraception”. Yes, it is.

Perhaps others posting in this thread have had experiences quite different than I have. Of course details and particulars matter. Whether anyone, married or single should be attending an NFP class depends in great deal on which class it is and who is teaching it.

To give one example of the kind of experiences that contribute to my perspective, I know a recently married Catholic couple who were told at their pre-cana retreat, along with all the other couples, that every newly married couple should use NFP to try avoiding children for the first year of their marriage.

Period.

Of course, such advice is entirely erroneous, totally at odds with Church teaching and extremely harmful. Based on my own experience, and conversations with many other Catholics, I think this mindset that promotes the idea of “babies are burdens” is quite widespread, at least in the US.

Pax Christi
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It doesn’t seem like you’ve been to an NFP class. NFP classes are only meant to teach the mechanics…that’s what its there for. It’s not meant to make judgements or to teach the “whys” behind it, or how it should be determined whether to use it to avoid or achieve pregnancy. That goes along with marriage preparation and catechesis. NFP classes are biology.

Especially in the creighton method, one learns when there is fertility and when there isn’t. Even though I’m single, I still learned when would be days of avoiding, and days of achieving. That is learning NFP. In order to learn this method, it is standardized teaching…very specific steps to learn at specific times, in order to be considered doing the method. IT is ONLY through this class and this very specific standardized instruction that one can learn Creighton, due to the strict quality control.
Creighton is the method used along with Napro technology for health issues. So, no, there isn’t a way to learn it and “separate” from NFP, and my knowledge of NFP does not force me to have a contraceptive mentality.

Regarding your knowledge of this couple’s experience, since you are hearing it 2nd hand, it is very likely that you don’t have the whole story there. NFP can be used to achieve pregnancy, also this instructor could have been saying they recommend to simply CHART for the first year, not necessarily use NFP to avoid pregnancy.
 
agapewolf said:
It doesn’t seem like you’ve been to an NFP class. NFP classes are only meant to teach the mechanics…that’s what its there for. It’s not meant to make judgements or to teach the “whys” behind it, or how it should be determined whether to use it to avoid or achieve pregnancy. That goes along with marriage preparation and catechesis. NFP classes are biology.

Especially in the creighton method, one learns when there is fertility and when there isn’t. Even though I’m single, I still learned when would be days of avoiding, and days of achieving. That is learning NFP. In order to learn this method, it is standardized teaching…very specific steps to learn at specific times, in order to be considered doing the method. IT is ONLY through this class and this very specific standardized instruction that one can learn Creighton, due to the strict quality control.
Creighton is the method used along with Napro technology for health issues. So, no, there isn’t a way to learn it and “separate” from NFP, and my knowledge of NFP does not force me to have a contraceptive mentality.

Regarding your knowledge of this couple’s experience, since you are hearing it 2nd hand, it is very likely that you don’t have the whole story there. NFP can be used to achieve pregnancy, also this instructor could have been saying they recommend to simply CHART for the first year, not necessarily use NFP to avoid pregnancy.
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I have been to several different NFP classes. As I said, classes vary a good bit depending on who is instructing, and your “method only” classes not the universal norm of NFP instruction. If the classes you’ve attended have not taught things contrary to Church teaching that is great. Sadly I have personally experienced classes that have and heard of similar experiences from many friends who I trust.

Your comments are confusing though. You say learning “method only” tells you “days of avoiding” and “days of achieving”. Avoiding what? Achieving what?

If a person is not married, than chastity entails virginity. So every day is a day of avoiding sex, and it’s impossible to achieve conception no matter how fertile you are on a particular day.

Does bad instruction force anyone into a contraception mentality? No it doesn’t. We all have free will, but it can and does influence people, sometimes very strongly.

Pax Christi
 
agapewolf said:
Absolutely incorrect. I’m single and have been charting for 10 years for my health, and thank goodness because I found problems I never would have found out a couple of problems I had that needed fixing. I believe every woman should chart her cycle for health. Including the nun I saw in my napro doc’s office with a chart.
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Thank you. In my case it is health, I know I have something strange going on, it seems to be hormonal and so it was recommended to take the class to learn the method so if there is a problem it can be seen.
 
Dan_Daly said:
I have been to several different NFP classes. As I said, classes vary a good bit depending on who is instructing, and your “method only” classes not the universal norm of NFP instruction. If the classes you’ve attended have not taught things contrary to Church teaching that is great. Sadly I have personally experienced classes that have and heard of similar experiences from many friends who I trust.

Your comments are confusing though. You say learning “method only” tells you “days of avoiding” and “days of achieving”. Avoiding what? Achieving what?

If a person is not married, than chastity entails virginity. So every day is a day of avoiding sex, and it’s impossible to achieve conception no matter how fertile you are on a particular day.

Does bad instruction force anyone into a contraception mentality? No it doesn’t. We all have free will, but it can and does influence people, sometimes very strongly.

Pax Christi
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Achieving or avoiding pregnancy… You really didn’t get that? Really? Are you being purposely obtuse? I’m single and I still learn what the proper days for that are. It’s not difficult.

Creighton method does not vary. It is standardized instruction.

Honestly I think you are just backtracking after bring proven wrong here.

Nfp classes are appropriate for every woman to learn. In fact many napro docs suggest all women to learn it.
 
agapewolf said:
Nfp classes are appropriate for every woman to learn. In fact many napro docs suggest all women to learn it.
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Absolutely. All women should learn to chart, and the younger the better. There’s no reason in the world any women shouldn’t have all the information about her body she can get her hands on.

By charting and self-examining women can uncover issues before they impact their fertility or before they become a bigger health problems. I know two women, who - while still teenagers - used NFP to uncover hormonal problems that could have impacted their fertility if left untreated.

But even if a woman is perfectly healthy, using NFP is incredibly empowering. And I think that’s what some folks take issue with when you get right down to it.

Luna
 
agapewolf said:
Achieving or avoiding pregnancy… You really didn’t get that? Really? Are you being purposely obtuse? I’m single and I still learn what the proper days for that are. It’s not difficult.

Creighton method does not vary. It is standardized instruction.

Honestly I think you are just backtracking after bring proven wrong here.

Nfp classes are appropriate for every woman to learn. In fact many napro docs suggest all women to learn it.
Click to expand...
I think you missed my point. On one hand you are saying that charting can yield useful information that can aid a single woman in dealing with health issues. I agree.

On the other hand, you are saying that it’s important for a single woman to learn how increase or decrease the chances of becoming pregnant through charting. I disagree. If a single woman is being chaste she has 0% chance of becoming a mother no matter what day of the month it is. Just as a chaste single man has a 0% chance of becoming father.

Pax
 
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