My friend from church told me he thinks he is interested in other men

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My friend from church, a boy my age, has confessed to me that he has been having thoughts about other men. He was very upset and wants to be rid of these thoughts. Is there anything I can do for him?

Kimi
 
Kimi,
He is blessed that he has you as a friend. God bless you. And him.
Perhaps you could say that it could be just a stage he’s going through. It could just be part of peer admiration, wishing he could be like them…Ask him if it could be this. If not, I’m sure others will give you good advice,
Regards, Trishie
 
Thank you very much for this advice. I’ll speak to him about it and ask him. I am grateful that he feels he can tell me these things.

God bless

Kimi
 
If he does tell you that this is not just a phase in his life, and that he does have same-sex attraction, I would refer him to Courage (couragerc.net/). They are a ministry in the Catholic Church that helps those with ssa to remain chaste. Encourage is another ministry that is for friends and families of those with ssa.

I am glad that he feels comfortable enough to talk about this with you. This is a very difficult cross to bear, but one that I’ve seen carried with much grace and fortitude and courage by others. Let him know I’ll be praying for him, and I will also be praying for you.

God Bless!
Ericka
 
Whats so wrong with one man loving another, you act like its a sin.
 
The attraction itself is not a sin, but homosexual acts are. Just like I would be sinning if I were to have any heterosexual acts at this time, as I’m not married. This is a quote from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2396 Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices.

The following is also in the CCC:

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

If you would like to read further in the CCC, please check out the following link:

Catechism of the Catholic Church

God Bless!
Ericka
 
What you can do for him? Be his friend and urge him to do what’s best for him.
 
KimiB said:
My friend from church, a boy my age, has confessed to me that he has been having thoughts about other men. He was very upset and wants to be rid of these thoughts. Is there anything I can do for him?

Kimi
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If he really wants your help, then, there is something you can do for him. Just spend some time with him and comfort him.

I, personally, don’t believe he can rid himself of these thoughts without hurting himself, but if it’s in his interest, at this time, he is more than welcome to try. 🤷

Teen4Christ basically has the right idea. :yup:

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
I want to add to what I said.

If he wants to get rid of the feelings(which is impossible) then encourage him to try to do so.

If he wants to act on these feelings, be there for him and remain his friend.

And make sure you tell him to do what’s right for himself, not for his family, not for his friends, not for the catholic church, but for himself.
 
Teen4Christ said:
I want to add to what I said.

If he wants to get rid of the feelings(which is impossible) then encourage him to try to do so.

If he wants to act on these feelings, be there for him and remain his friend.

And make sure you tell him to do what’s right for himself, not for his family, not for his friends, not for the catholic church, but for himself.
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Teen4Christ,

I agree with your first two suggestions, but I respectfully disagree with the third. Kimi’s friend is reaching out because he is confused and hurt. Kimi is here to get support from the church members on what she can do to help him; and part of your answer is telling her to tell him to ignore what the church has to say. Casting God out of the journey will make it more difficult. The best journey is already outlined by the CCC, which is to counsel the young friend to a chaste and fullfilling life that is Christ centric. The journey is very difficult but the reward is eternal. There are help and support along the way, through the Courage Network for both the young friend and his family and friends.

There used to be cartoons on TV that whenever a problem comes up, an angel and a devil appears. The angel counsels what is right, and the devil says to do whatever makes you happy. The church is helping people to turn away from the path of sin, ignoring her wisdom will only make the problem worse.

In Christ,
Ben
 
ble said:
Teen4Christ,

I agree with your first two suggestions, but I respectfully disagree with the third. Kimi’s friend is reaching out because he is confused and hurt. Kimi is here to get support from the church members on what she can do to help him; and part of your answer is telling her to tell him to ignore what the church has to say. Casting God out of the journey will make it more difficult. The best journey is already outlined by the CCC, which is to counsel the young friend to a chaste and fullfilling life that is Christ centric. The journey is very difficult but the reward is eternal. There are help and support along the way, through the Courage Network for both the young friend and his family and friends.

There used to be cartoons on TV that whenever a problem comes up, an angel and a devil appears. The angel counsels what is right, and the devil says to do whatever makes you happy. The church is helping people to turn away from the path of sin, ignoring her wisdom will only make the problem worse.

In Christ,
Ben
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That’s very true, but disagreeing with the church on an issue does not cast god out.
😊
 
Teen4Christ said:
That’s very true, but disagreeing with the church on an issue does not cast god out.
😊
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Yes, this is true. God will be walking with us whether we acknowledge him or not, or whether we follow what he sets out for us or not as well. Throughout the many stories of the Bible, we see the rewards for obeying God and what would happen if we don’t follow him. The rewards are eternal life and the punishment is eternal separation from God. Granted that life’s journey is difficult, and more so when we follow Christ. Our soul is at stake.

God gave us the commandments and sent the Holy Spirit to help direct the church. Following the Commandments is one part of what he asks us to do. Sometimes we feel that his commandments are not fair or to our likings, but Jesus did ask us that much and more. Sometimes we feel that the church is wrong based on our own “feelings” which changes from time to time based on your mood and current “cool” trends, because everyone is doing it. Ask a young person now if having sex before marriage is wrong. Most will probably tell you no, as it is cool to do.

The church is responsible for educating them so that they know it is against God’s commandments to do that. Only armed with this knowledge can they decide whether they fully accept the teachings or not, to reject God’s commandment or to accept it. The church helps builds an individual’s conscience so he/she can tell if something is right and wrong in God’s eyes. This is why a Catholic must take into consideration the Church’s teachings when making a moral decision.

The young friend is at a crossroad at the moment. He is confused and don’t know what he should do. He feelings right now may be in the twilight zone. Armoring him with the church’s teaching to help him is like giving him a beacon that he can direct his thoughts and feelings, while avoiding occasions of sin. The church’s teaching which is based off the 10 Commandments helps one to avoid sin, as the majority of the teachings have your soul’s health in mind; so if you disagree with it, please find ways to help your brothers/sisters to avoid sin.

The young friend carries a heavy cross and we should help shoulder it with him as much as possible. We are all responsible for each others.

Warmest regards,
Ben
 
But saying that you know better than God, and the church that Christ instituted on Earth is making yourself your own god, and therefore, you are casting God out.
 
ble said:
Yes, this is true. God will be walking with us whether we acknowledge him or not, or whether we follow what he sets out for us or not as well. Throughout the many stories of the Bible, we see the rewards for obeying God and what would happen if we don’t follow him. The rewards are eternal life and the punishment is eternal separation from God. Granted that life’s journey is difficult, and more so when we follow Christ. Our soul is at stake.

God gave us the commandments and sent the Holy Spirit to help direct the church. Following the Commandments is one part of what he asks us to do. Sometimes we feel that his commandments are not fair or to our likings, but Jesus did ask us that much and more. Sometimes we feel that the church is wrong based on our own “feelings” which changes from time to time based on your mood and current “cool” trends, because everyone is doing it. Ask a young person now if having sex before marriage is wrong. Most will probably tell you no, as it is cool to do.

The church is responsible for educating them so that they know it is against God’s commandments to do that. Only armed with this knowledge can they decide whether they fully accept the teachings or not, to reject God’s commandment or to accept it. The church helps builds an individual’s conscience so he/she can tell if something is right and wrong in God’s eyes. This is why a Catholic must take into consideration the Church’s teachings when making a moral decision.

The young friend is at a crossroad at the moment. He is confused and don’t know what he should do. He feelings right now may be in the twilight zone. Armoring him with the church’s teaching to help him is like giving him a beacon that he can direct his thoughts and feelings, while avoiding occasions of sin. The church’s teaching which is based off the 10 Commandments helps one to avoid sin, as the majority of the teachings have your soul’s health in mind; so if you disagree with it, please find ways to help your brothers/sisters to avoid sin.

The young friend carries a heavy cross and we should help shoulder it with him as much as possible. We are all responsible for each others.

Warmest regards,
Ben
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👍
 
ericka1701 said:
But saying that you know better than God, and the church that Christ instituted on Earth is making yourself your own god, and therefore, you are casting God out.
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Yes, you are right.

But no one is saying they know better
👍

Back on topic…support your friend in whatever he chooses to do.
 
Teen4Christ said:
Yes, you are right.

But no one is saying they know better
👍

Back on topic…support your friend in whatever he chooses to do.
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Yep, I sure hope no one say they know better than God. Satan did and you know what happened to him. We are all learning… from the moment we are born to the moment we die.

And yes, lets get back on topic. Kimi, please be there for your friend when he is in need. If he has questions, try to best answer him with your knowledge. Even when you both disagree, be there for him. That’s how I was for my little brother.

The little love you show him will help him much on his journey in life. I pray that his family will show him the same love that Christ has for us. And thank you for coming here to seek help for your friend; it tells all of us that God chose a good companion for him.

Warmest regards,
Ben
 
What is needed here is pragmatism. The individual who feels he is having same-sex attractions is confused, to say the least. The OP is likely confused as well, otherwise she would not be asking for advice here. To counsel that the OP should continue to have close associations with this friend of hers is therefore unwise in the extreme.

My advice for the OP is to preserve her own fragile faith and avoid those who, through imprudent association, could lead her into error. This individual’s experience of same-sex attraction provides him no special right to her friendship and, in the presence of a mutual confusion that could metastasize into something far more serious, it is better for both that he not have it.
 
Other_Eric said:
What is needed here is pragmatism. The individual who feels he is having same-sex attractions is confused, to say the least. The OP is likely confused as well, otherwise she would not be asking for advice here. To counsel that the OP should continue to have close associations with this friend of hers is therefore unwise in the extreme.

My advice for the OP is to preserve her own fragile faith and avoid those who, through imprudent association, could lead her into error. This individual’s experience of same-sex attraction provides him no special right to her friendship and, in the presence of a mutual confusion that could metastasize into something far more serious, it is better for both that he not have it.
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Wow…that’s so freaking heartless
:mad:

Jesus was friends with sinners
 
Teen4Christ said:
Wow…that’s so freaking heartless
:mad:

Jesus was friends with sinners
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I’m afraid, Teen4Christ, that in world of adults, the practice of the faith is not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes tough decisions need to be made.
 
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