My friend has imaginary friends?

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LilMissyMary

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I’m not sure what so do about this. A close friend of mine tells me today, casual as anything, that although she has plenty of fiends, a decent husband, a job…that she still entertains the notion of imaginary friends? I know she doesn’t exactly come from a good family, but otherwise, have not ever seen any signs of mental illness or instability from her. She says it’s just a nice notion, to have someone around all the time…but to me, it sounds horribly disrepectful not only to us, her real friends, but to her husband as well. How do I take this?
 
Disrespectful? Count yourself honored that she told you about it at all, because this is a fairly intimate detail for an adult to share.

It sounds to me like a playful or imaginative way to talk to yourself. It certainly isn’t worse than calling your Chevy “Miss Molly” or talking to your dog as if she were a marriage counsellor. Now if she thinks she is hearing real voices, and not imaginary ones, then that is something to worry about. As it is, if someone has no worse mental issues than indulging in the anthropomorphizing of thin air from time to time, I’d say leave them alone about it. It doesn’t hurt anyone, and in fact it may let her blow off steam or role play her issues with the one set of “people” in her life who are not shocked or offended by anything she might say. If it saves her only a few ill-chosen words that she would have liked to have taken back but never can, that is hardly a bad thing!
 
While it is certainly unusual for a mentally healthy adult to have imaginary friends, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Many Catholics are friends with their Guardian Angels for example. Unfortunately many Atheists would say that angels are fake and imaginary so a Catholic being friends with their Guardian Angel would seem similar to having an imaginary friend to an Atheist in some cases.
 
Well, for you I don’t think you have to worry or anything. But, as a previous poster said, if she truly believes somone is with her and her imaginary friends are real, then there is a very serious problem. It can be a mental problem (though hidden) and she might need help, or it can be a demon or something (though I would go with the first as the latter is less likely).

Other than those things, there is nothing to get too worked up about. And, also as the first poster said, consider yourself very fortunate to have a friend who is willing to share extremely personal information with you. But I do not promote having imaginary friends, especially with children, because I consider it an extremely dangerous thing. Very easily can evil spirits take the form of your imaginary friend and start talking to you. I know it is rare and unlikely, but it is possible and it can cause a lot of problems. I like to be on the safe side.🙂
 
Since she recognizes ‘imaginary friends,’ I suspect she’s enjoying fantasy conversations. Many people have active imaginations. I would categorize it with blue streaks in someone’s hair. It’s not for me, but if you enjoy blue hair, more power to you.
 
Could be a creative person. Characters in books and plays come to life for the author, and can be constantly present while you live your ordinary life. They have a parallel life as it were, but sometimes they might also intersect your life.

It sounds kinda nuts, but it’s not.
 
What happens if your imaginary friends have imaginary friends of their own?
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Could be a creative person. Characters in books and plays come to life for the author, and can be constantly present while you live your ordinary life.
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You got it. A lot of writers and creative people are like this. It’s a certain personality type, I wager. It might not always express itself in terms of “imaginary friends,” but I get how one could think of it that way. It might be easier to explain it to others by calling it an “imaginary friend.”

I don’t think it’s a problem at all, as it’s a way that certain people psychologically approach the world. Unless accompanied by other symptoms, I wouldn’t worry about it!
 
A counselor that I was seeing at one time suggested that I have “imaginary” conversations where I spoke out loud to a non-existent person to practice actually asserting my opinion.

As we can see on these boards, practice makes perfect! lol! 😃
 
EasterJoy said:
Disrespectful? Count yourself honored that she told you about it at all, because this is a fairly intimate detail for an adult to share.
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This. I don’t think you realize how much your friend trusts you to reveal this issue to you. I think you need to think about that you may be disrespecting your friend by automatically assuming she’s doing something disrespectful to the people in her life and and she is mentally ill and perhaps you’re disrespecting the trust between you two by discussing the issue with strangers.
 
I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

a lot of adults talk to their pets as if they genuinely would understand their issues. This isn’t that far off from just talking out loud - which can help frame an issue for a lot of people. To put one’s thoughts to words can help clarify those thoughts.
 
Just had a thought. If your friend has imaginary friends, can you be sure you are not imaginary? :eek: 😃
 
PatriceA said:
This. I don’t think you realize how much your friend trusts you to reveal this issue to you. I think you need to think about that you may be disrespecting your friend by automatically assuming she’s doing something disrespectful to the people in her life and and she is mentally ill and perhaps you’re disrespecting the trust between you two by discussing the issue with strangers.
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I like to think an action is not automatically disrespectful just because it could be taken that way. IMOH, true disrespect requires either culpable flounting of what one knows ought to be respected or else a culpable level of arrogance. The OP is merely unaware that an adult might talk as her friend does without being either mentally ill or, worse, having been made an unknowing necromancer or sorcerer of some kind. Yes, she feels a bit of jealousy about these “friends”, but she’s also worried that her friend might be off in the head or endangered of soul.

I think she will be relieved to find her friend’s habit is not automatic evidence of mental illness, arrogant self-centeredness, or possession by an evil spirit. Some of us just use a lot of imagination when we talk to ourselves. After all, if the friend depicted these persons she talked to as real, and not imaginary, that would be something else again!

As it is, though, it is like admitting that you still sleep with your childhood teddy bear. There is no harm in it, but it takes some courage to admit it to anyone except those you trust the most. It is not the kind of information someone would let out if they were running for public office, because so many people couldn’t understand it.
 
Unless they are hearing voices or seeing things “that others can’t see”, then every is fine.

I sometimes wish I had a bit more of the imagination I had as a kid. It’s like it all just died or something- a little sad. 😦
 
I am pretty sure a lot of people stand in front of the mirror and practice thanking their friends and family for their support for when they win an oscar. And I am one who is often caught ‘talking to herself’.

If she simply tole you, that is one thing. If it is a behaviour you are not comfortable with, it is OK to politely ask her not to talk about those things with you. But just because you are uncomfortable with it, does not make it wrong at all.

Now, I had a friend whose maternity clock was ticking off the wall. She told me she would often daydream about caring for her child. The thing that got to me is that she was ALWAYS talking about that. It seemed to be the only thing she wanted to discuss. I found it annoying, but as long as your friend can keep this it is appropriate place, she is fine

CM
 
I supose I just felt a little…miffed. Perhaps it wasn’t a fair emotion to have, but frankly, it still just strikes me as a little…odd. I don’t know. I’m about as middle of the road and normal as they come. Find family, normal everything. Yeah, she’s very artistic. Paints and is an aspiring novelist. And like I said, I know her home life wasn’t great growing up. No mother, grew up with her grandmother, idolized a father who barely acknowledged her. But I thought she’d gotten past all that, I guess. Maybe that’s why it surprised me.
 
LilMissyMary said:
I supose I just felt a little…miffed. Perhaps it wasn’t a fair emotion to have, but frankly, it still just strikes me as a little…odd. I don’t know. I’m about as middle of the road and normal as they come. Find family, normal everything. Yeah, she’s very artistic. Paints and is an aspiring novelist. And like I said, I know her home life wasn’t great growing up. No mother, grew up with her grandmother, idolized a father who barely acknowledged her. But I thought she’d gotten past all that, I guess. Maybe that’s why it surprised me.
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Most of us are odd in one way or the other.

I bite my fingernails which, if you think about it, is pretty odd- like self-injurious. I have tried quitting but have been unable.

Many, most?, of us have some personal oddities.

Then again; I’m a therapist and find this stuff really fascinating. I’ve never had a client (adult" who had an imaginary friend though. It would be interesting for me if I did however.
 
LilMissyMary said:
I supose I just felt a little…miffed. Perhaps it wasn’t a fair emotion to have, but frankly, it still just strikes me as a little…odd. I don’t know. I’m about as middle of the road and normal as they come. Find family, normal everything. Yeah, she’s very artistic. Paints and is an aspiring novelist. And like I said, I know her home life wasn’t great growing up. No mother, grew up with her grandmother, idolized a father who barely acknowledged her. But I thought she’d gotten past all that, I guess. Maybe that’s why it surprised me.
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We are all human and it is normal to have an akward reaction when you first hear of something. But please, do not judge her for not having a normal home life. After all, we all think we grew up normal but deep down we know there is no such thing. It is just a relative standard

CM
 
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