My friend's behaviour

[Altargirl]

Hello there!

I am comepletely new to this forum, so please forgive me if I have posted this query in the wrong section.

To put it simply, these past few days have left me somewhat confused about my priest (a very good friend of mine)'s behaviour towards me, as I am currently at university and my friend is quite a few years older than me. In the past couple of weeks we have enjoyed attending a few events together in the evenings outside regular Mass times, and he has regularly reiterated that he’d be put under ‘rigorous’ questioning by the other priest’s he lives with if they discovered he was out with me, and so I assume he is not telling them.
As I have come to know him over the year, and seen how he greets others both at Mass and in public, I felt a bit surprised (but in someways, favoured) when the other night, as we were saying farewell after an event we’d been to, he suddenly pulled me close and kissed me deeply on the cheek. This was followed by prolonged staring at one another before he let my hand go. Now as I’ve said, I have never seen or heard of him doing this to any other women, so you can understand why I thought it was very unusual. Furthermore, no one else was or near us at the time.
However, I have seen him once since then at mass, and all he did was just vaguely acknowledged my presence and then behave indifferently towards me for the entire evening. Yet again, I watched him say goodbye to all of the parishioners as they were leaving after mass, and he never did more than shake their hands or pat them on the shoulder. Yet when I came to him, he repeated the same manourve of taking my hand in his and gazing at me for a prolonged time, but did not kiss me on the cheek because they’re were other people around.
So basically, my question is, why is he treating me differently to everyone else? Why does he keep saying that his time alone with me would be judged if he was discovered, yet he continues to want my company? And why did he greet me in the unprecendented way he did the other night? Please help!

 

[18trouble]

Dear Altargirl,
While from what you have described nothing particularly sinful has happened, it does seem that there is questionable motive (perhaps near occasion to sin). Probably would be best not to spend time alone with said friend. If he pursues you, it would be good to talk to another priest about the situation.
Praying for you!
Blessed Mother of Purity please protect Altargirl and the priest friend. Amen.
RC

 

[Ophelia23]

Well, nobody can really answer this for you because we are not the priest and don’t know what is in his mind. I also have a very close friend who is a priest, and he treats me much differently in private that he would ever treat a parishioner in public. Yes, he gives me kisses on the cheek and I do the same to him–we have been close friends since we were children. But I know my friend’s motives and I have no doubt of them, so no real question has ever come up for me. If you are concerned that this priest’s actions have more than a friendship’s intent, then pray deeply about this to determine what course of action to take. At the very least, if you are uncomfortable with it, then I would recommend scaling back on the friendship.

 

[mikeeh]

Only the priest can tell you what he is thinking. I’m sure there are several possible answers, so I’ll give you a happy one. He may want a closer friendship with you. Priests are often seen as an oddity by their community which makes it difficult for them to have personal relationships with members of the laity. He may just be looking for someone he can relate to and have normal conversations with. I pray this is what’s happening in your case, but like 18trouble said you should talk to another priest for advice.

 

[epan]

Hello there!

I am comepletely new to this forum, so please forgive me if I have posted this query in the wrong section.

To put it simply, these past few days have left me somewhat confused about my priest (a very good friend of mine)'s behaviour towards me, as I am currently at university and my friend is quite a few years older than me. In the past couple of weeks we have enjoyed attending a few events together in the evenings outside regular Mass times, and he has regularly reiterated that he’d be put under ‘rigorous’ questioning by the other priest’s he lives with if they discovered he was out with me, and so I assume he is not telling them.
As I have come to know him over the year, and seen how he greets others both at Mass and in public, I felt a bit surprised (but in someways, favoured) when the other night, as we were saying farewell after an event we’d been to, he suddenly pulled me close and kissed me deeply on the cheek. This was followed by prolonged staring at one another before he let my hand go. Now as I’ve said, I have never seen or heard of him doing this to any other women, so you can understand why I thought it was very unusual. Furthermore, no one else was or near us at the time.
However, I have seen him once since then at mass, and all he did was just vaguely acknowledged my presence and then behave indifferently towards me for the entire evening. Yet again, I watched him say goodbye to all of the parishioners as they were leaving after mass, and he never did more than shake their hands or pat them on the shoulder. Yet when I came to him, he repeated the same manourve of taking my hand in his and gazing at me for a prolonged time, but did not kiss me on the cheek because they’re were other people around.
So basically, my question is, why is he treating me differently to everyone else? Why does he keep saying that his time alone with me would be judged if he was discovered, yet he continues to want my company? And why did he greet me in the unprecendented way he did the other night? Please help!

Just ask him. Tell him your feelings, and ask him what his are. The two of you should be able to clear things up, and hopefully continue to have a rewarding friendship.