My friends were raised catholic educated in school catholic and 50% now non catholic. why are catholics . fallen away?

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Brian, it’s too bad you have bad public schools. Our public schools are very good and we chose to utilize them for our children instead of parochial schools. Our church does have a good religious education director, and we supplemented religious ed classes with the Baltimore Catechism at home but our children are in high school now and not interested in the parish youth group, which is all there is for their age. We try to teach them the “why” of things, because when you understand why, you are likelier adhere to the rest or at least retain it. It used to be that people would wander away from the faith and then return later in life, esp when they had a family of their own. I do not know if that model holds true anymore, as despite one’s best efforts, the contrary cultural influences are very strong. I have heard so many stories of people sending their children to parochial school only to have stop attending church, shacking up, joining another sect or religion etc. I think you are right that either they will return or they will not. I am glad that most of the sex abuse scandal mess is cleaned up at this point, as that horrified so many people into staying away.
 
As a convert I worried about that as well, having been brought up by someone who spent their life in Catholic schools. I worry a bit less now. That’s somewhat sad.
 
Pup7 said:
I didn’t realize that it was so different now. I assumed that Catholic school…was Catholic school.
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I was in school from about the mid-70’s to the mid-80’s. I think my education was the result of a lot of “experimenting” with the “spirit” of VII. There probably were very good, solid Catholic Schools at that time. I just had the misfortune to not have them in my particular diocese.
 
I think that most youths need to have a good reason and a strong motivation to want to practice the faith otherwise they will just fall away.
 
Pup7 said:
I didn’t realize that it was so different now. I assumed that Catholic school…was Catholic school.
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People who have not been to “Catholic school” since about the 1970s have no idea what it’s like.
It was pretty much like FrancisPio described. We did know what “Catechism” meant but the way it was taught, oy vey.
I never learned about indulgences, or rosaries, or Marian devotions, or any of that in school.
We did have a Bible study class for one semester in high school, taught by a modernist nun who “had problems”, couldn’t stand me, and threw the class into an uproar by saying “oh surely you don’t believe all that stuff about Adam and Eve and in Genesis actually happened” which caused most of the class to start asking if the whole Bible was fiction then.

Most of the “religion classes” were about teaching some sort of “values” like sharing, volunteering, giving to the poor and not being a racist. I’m not saying that’s bad, but it didn’t convey any sort of church teaching, history or actual technical knowledge about practicing your faith.

About the best thing I can say about the “religion classes” was that at my all-girls high school we did have one course on death and dying which covered stuff like grief and what you need to do at a funeral home when people die - I found this helpful in my adult life. There was also a course on marriage with similar practical info.

Other than that, I remember almost nothing of my “religion classes” and they were mostly just a bust, even though I sat through them daily for 12 years.
I have no idea if it’s different now. I have virtually nothing to do with my old high school, and the elementary school has been shut down for decades.
 
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Teaching the children is one part of Catholicism. It must be lived at the same time. Children should see their faith being practiced outside of the school environment.
If not children will see it has a theory.
 
Schools and Catechists need to stop taking for granted that young people are being taught by their parents. It’s like they are sticking their heads in the sand.
 
Very nice description. Being Catholic in the home is unclear. Do sisters and brothers pray for each other?
Do they pray for their friends?
Do they learn to pray for their parents?
 
So many reasons, and I do get kind of tired of hearing folks blame it on poor catechesis. Many who leave were well catechised, they simply disagree with the doctrine being taught.

Although I am currently a practicing Catholic, I’ll admit I have a hard time swallowing certain parts of doctrine based on “tradition,” which I usually consider the outcome of the strategic planning meetings that happened among bunches of popes and cardinals over a few hundred years. Were those doctrines what Christ taught? No? Then I’ll admit I take it with a grain of salt. I struggle with this. For example: Do I go to mass to celebrate the Assumption? Not always, especially since I was catechised enough to know that that particular “truth” was created by man in the 1850s.

Another issue I had as an almost-walked-away Catholic were the lack of real fellowship and faith-living Catholics around me. I went to Catholic school, and those kids and their parents were some of the snobbiest, entitled, non-Christian people I’d ever met. Compare this to the young people of the other big community in my area (LDS), and it is night and day! Those teens and their families were kind, polite, true to their faith, and true to each other. Family was more important to them than money and getting a school gym named after them. Also, the Catholics that I knew were mostly divorced, showed up for holy days of obligation and checked all those boxes you’re supposed to check as a practicing Catholic, but the faith seemed so empty.

I just wanted to add my own experiences as a cradle Catholic, raised by two very devout parents who kept me involved in the church through high school and catechised me at home and in CCD. I got the full treatment, and to be honest I’m hanging in there by a thread and now I socialize more with non-Catholic friends than Catholics.

(Not to mention Catholic radio—egads! After 5 minutes of listening in the car, my 7 year old asks me, “Mama, what’s abortion?” 😣 Nonononono)
 
You are right about the LDS and explained catholic fellowship correct.
 
This is where I think you are mistaken. Young people are being taught by their parents. It is not "if’ they are being taught. It is “what” they are being taught.

And all too many are being taught that being Catholic doesn’t matter (as in, being taught nothing at all (parents don’t go to Mass, and don’t take kids to religious ed), or they take the kids to religious ed, but don’t go to Mass each Sunday (“It isn’t important”). to which one can add any secular habits by the parents (goes under the “do as you see me do” category).
 
A big reason is that Catholic institutions either don’t take their duties seriously or think they can just show up and win. It’s pathology that’s present from the Vatican on down.

It’s also why we’ve taken a back seat to Protestants, atheists and now increasingly the post-modernists in the culture war.
 
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I don’t think most Catholic youth pray that much if at all.
 
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Plenty of the young I grew up with did have devout practicing parents and still left. A lot of young people grow up, move to different areas and live their own lives and if they haven’t made their faith their own or dont have Catholic peers at that point they probably won’t keep it.

However a combination of low pay, cost of higher education and housing is leaving young adults more dependent on the bank of mum and dad. Maybe there will be more cases of young adults being blackmailed into practicing a faith by their parents as is sometimes seen on here.
 
Back in the day, Catholics lived in communities where almost all of their neighbors, friends, relatives, coworkers and school chums were all Catholic too.

A lot of reinforcement.

Even if someone didn’t personally believe it , or believe it all, or had doubts, they maintained the outward form of being faithful.
 
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