My frustration in trying to get Confirmed

[bankerdavid]

First of all, contact the parish and set up an appointment with the priest (or a priest, if there’s more than one). At your appointment, calmly discuss your situation.

I don’t think there’s a requirement to go every week to RCIA, if you miss one week, go the next and excuse yourself as not feeling well. The main things you have to do is to complete the steps, the mass of the Elect, the meeting with the bishop, etc. and finally you show up at Easter Vigil and become one in communion. All of this signifies that you are still wanting to be on your journey to find Jesus in your life-at least that’s what it meant to me.

Another thing you will need to do is to find a sponsor. This person can and should be willing to help you through the tough parts…and it does seem you need someone to help (as do all of us, in some way, shape or form…)
I wish you well.

 

[ohioszo]

Good advice from bankerdavid. Surely everyone who suffers, suffers differently. I like the hardball attack, and, it should eventually work; everyone wants to be “normal”! But for a gentler response, you may need someone trained. Below is a list of people that a Befriender minister might help.

The BeFriender Ministry : stthomas.edu/bef/index.htm

Trained lay volunteers
who provide pastoral care through listening presence for …

anyone experiencing
Cancer or chronic illness
Addiction
Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia
Mental illness
Post-partum depression
Stress of being a caregiver
Death of a loved one
Loneliness
Getting married or divorced
Blending families
“Empty nest” syndrome
Becoming a parent or parenting challenges
Relationship issues
Being a victim of random violence
Being abused or abusing others
Imprisonment
Major life decisions
Relocation
Job loss or career changes
Financial worries
Buying or losing a home
Trauma or natural disaster
Any other need for pastoral care

 

[Brenda_V]

I totally understand your frustration. Really, the Priest avoiding you is most likely that he knows you asked him something, he can’t remember what it was and now he is embarassed! The other possibility is you have told him of your depression and anxiety and he just doesn’t undertand it so is afraid to talk to you again (sad, but true, most people don’t know how to treat someone who suffers from mental illness which is why those of us who do suffer tend not to talk about it to others).

The letter idea is a good one but I would ask in that letter a meeting with both the Priest and the director of the RCIA program in your parish so you can share the idea of an “at home” program with a visit with both of them several times throughout the time frame of the program and since you are already Baptised and have made your First Communion and Confession, you don’t need to follow all the Rites for initiation . This means you shouldn’t have to attend the special Masses for those who are converting so if you are having an “episode” during one of these times you are not automatically excluded from the Confirmation Rite during Easter Vigil.

Gather together the materials you can including the ones that Puzzleannie talked about. Present them to both the Priest and the director at your meeting, bring your mom or sponsor along. Even bring a tentative time line for when you should be expected to finish each of the components of the program you find and how you hope to give them (the Priest and director) the proof that you have done it - an interview or written test, speaking to just one or both of them with a “certificate of section completion”. Make it the least time intensive for them as possible - (you probably already know all this) your Priest is probably very busy just taking care of the every day needs of his parishioners and the director is most likely a lay volunteer with a family and other interests that need to be taken care of too.

Now if your Priest doesn’t respond to your letter, follow it up with the Director of RCIA. As painful as it is, you may need to go over your health issues again so you can find the solution to this problem (and problem it is - something should be able to be worked out as it seems that you funciton more often than not but an episode can interfere with the almost year long process of RCIA).

My prayers are with you as I suffer from depression which is hormonal and food related so I am able to “control” it to some extent.

Brenda V.

 

[homewardbound]

I don’t have anything to say really to help. I just wanted to give you (((HUGS)))) because I too suffer from depression and anxiety/panic attacks. I have just begun RCIA and hope I will make it through. My prayers will be with you and please don’t give up. God is with you always. He will be your strength in the times when you have none.

God Bless and take care

 

[Maryam]

bankerdavid Thanks for your advice. At one of the Rcia classes I attended, if anyone missed 2 or 3 weeks at a time, they would be asked to not come back. So it depends on the personality of the Rcia coordinator.

God bless

---

Brenda V. I have thought along the same lines as you… that maybe he doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that I have depression. I hope that is not why and try to brush these thoughts aside.

Your advice makes the most sense, so lets see what happens. If things don’t change I just may have to speak to the local Rcia Director again. I am not enjoying the thought of having to pour out my guts to him once more, but, anyways.

Thanks and you have given me much to think about as to ideas.

God bless

---

homewardbound Thanks for the (((((hugs)))))… I offer them to you as well. I will pray that you stick with the Rcia as you understand how hard it is to do so with depression and panic attacks to have to deal with.

God bless