L
Lucid_Panda
Guest
My girlfriend (well, now ex-girlfriend as much as it pains me to say) and I started dating about a year and a half ago. We were both really involved in the Catholic campus ministry at our college and we met towards the end of our junior year. That summer, we were both away from school but we would text and really started to get to know each other. We had discovered that we had a ton in common, and by the end of the summer, she told me that she had feelings for me. I told her I felt the same. But we knew we didn’t want to jump into a relationship right away, and we agreed we would pray about it and see what happened when we returned to school. When we got back, we hung out a few times and it just felt so natural and we both knew it was right. And so began our relationship.
I had never really had any serious girlfriends in the past. A lot of the time I would either be interested in a girl who wasn’t interested in me or vice versa. I also found it frustrating that not many of the girls I knew shared the same faith and values as me. So this was my first real experience being in a serious relationship.
I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I was so thankful that God had finally given me the woman I had always dreamed of and prayed for. A great Catholic girl who was beautiful, smart, funny. The whole package. We went to mass together, retreats together, CCM functions together, studied together, exercised together, watched sports together, hung out with the same group of friends. We were just about inseparable. We were in love. She told me she was the luckiest girl in the world. We even talked about marriage and children and shared our dreams with each other. Everything was great.
Then graduation rolled around. We knew we were moving back to our respective home towns and that we would have to continue our relationship long distance. We knew it would be difficult, but we felt our love was strong enough to overcome it. We live about 2 and a half hours apart, so our plan was to visit each other every other weekend.
Things didn’t exactly go according to plan. She found a job right away while I struggled to find work. I had all this time on my hands while she was wrapped up in her new job and other commitments. Every other weekend turned into once every 3 or 4 weeks. I knew things weren’t the same, but I was holding onto hope that some day we would be able to get back to the love we had together just a short time ago. This went on for about 3 months.
One day I went up to visit her. As I was about to leave, she told me she wanted to talk. She told me she was breaking up with me. I immediately burst into tears. I was devastated. I was heartbroken. She went on to say that she didn’t have feelings for me anymore, but here is where the story gets interesting…she told me she was having thoughts of becoming a nun. She said she was really confused because she’s never felt that way before and she’s not sure why she’s feeling that way. I was really torn up about it. I kept asking God…WHY! Why, why, why? Why would you take from me the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with?
The breakup affected me physically and mentally. I had to go to the doctor because I had a panic attack. I got prescribed anti-depressant medication. It was bad. I prayed and I prayed, but I was still feeling awful. I talked to friends, I talked to spiritual advisors. These things helped ease the pain a little bit but I was still feeling like part of me was missing. I was missing her like crazy.
Since the breakup we had remained in minor communication, but it just wasn’t the same. But then a few weeks later, I noticed a change in the way she was talking to me. She was almost flirtatious, as if she was getting feelings back for me. She told me she felt like she might be but she wasn’t sure, and still really confused. This made me extremely happy, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. She told me to come visit her and see how we feel around eachother. The chemistry was there as it was when we were dating in college. It felt so natural and great to be with eachother, so we ended up getting back together. Things were great again and we were both so happy.
A couple weeks went by, and I get a call from her. She tells me she is starting to have the same feelings again about the religious life. She told me not to freak out though, and that she wasn’t breaking up with me, she just wanted to let me know that she was feeling really confused. I wasn’t devastated like I was the first time, but I was worried. I continued to pray about it every day. A couple weeks went by and slowly I noticed she was starting to ignore me. I knew something was wrong. So I called her up, we talked on the phone for about 2 hours and she decided to break up with me. Again. She said she just isn’t feeling anything for me right now and she’s in a state of confusion about her vocation and she doesn’t think it’s fair to keep me on a string.
I realize that she has every right to discern but I can’t deny that I miss her and love her still. It’s hard for me to let her go. I haven’t talked to her in over a week but I still think about her constantly. I know I have to move on, but in the back of my mind I fantasize about her coming back to me some day. There’s a little seed of hope in my mind that she is just going through a stage in her life right now and she might come back because, well, you never know. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Have any of you gone through a situation like this? Anyone have any advice for me? I would appreciate if you would keep me in your prayers.
I had never really had any serious girlfriends in the past. A lot of the time I would either be interested in a girl who wasn’t interested in me or vice versa. I also found it frustrating that not many of the girls I knew shared the same faith and values as me. So this was my first real experience being in a serious relationship.
I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I was so thankful that God had finally given me the woman I had always dreamed of and prayed for. A great Catholic girl who was beautiful, smart, funny. The whole package. We went to mass together, retreats together, CCM functions together, studied together, exercised together, watched sports together, hung out with the same group of friends. We were just about inseparable. We were in love. She told me she was the luckiest girl in the world. We even talked about marriage and children and shared our dreams with each other. Everything was great.
Then graduation rolled around. We knew we were moving back to our respective home towns and that we would have to continue our relationship long distance. We knew it would be difficult, but we felt our love was strong enough to overcome it. We live about 2 and a half hours apart, so our plan was to visit each other every other weekend.
Things didn’t exactly go according to plan. She found a job right away while I struggled to find work. I had all this time on my hands while she was wrapped up in her new job and other commitments. Every other weekend turned into once every 3 or 4 weeks. I knew things weren’t the same, but I was holding onto hope that some day we would be able to get back to the love we had together just a short time ago. This went on for about 3 months.
One day I went up to visit her. As I was about to leave, she told me she wanted to talk. She told me she was breaking up with me. I immediately burst into tears. I was devastated. I was heartbroken. She went on to say that she didn’t have feelings for me anymore, but here is where the story gets interesting…she told me she was having thoughts of becoming a nun. She said she was really confused because she’s never felt that way before and she’s not sure why she’s feeling that way. I was really torn up about it. I kept asking God…WHY! Why, why, why? Why would you take from me the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with?
The breakup affected me physically and mentally. I had to go to the doctor because I had a panic attack. I got prescribed anti-depressant medication. It was bad. I prayed and I prayed, but I was still feeling awful. I talked to friends, I talked to spiritual advisors. These things helped ease the pain a little bit but I was still feeling like part of me was missing. I was missing her like crazy.
Since the breakup we had remained in minor communication, but it just wasn’t the same. But then a few weeks later, I noticed a change in the way she was talking to me. She was almost flirtatious, as if she was getting feelings back for me. She told me she felt like she might be but she wasn’t sure, and still really confused. This made me extremely happy, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. She told me to come visit her and see how we feel around eachother. The chemistry was there as it was when we were dating in college. It felt so natural and great to be with eachother, so we ended up getting back together. Things were great again and we were both so happy.
A couple weeks went by, and I get a call from her. She tells me she is starting to have the same feelings again about the religious life. She told me not to freak out though, and that she wasn’t breaking up with me, she just wanted to let me know that she was feeling really confused. I wasn’t devastated like I was the first time, but I was worried. I continued to pray about it every day. A couple weeks went by and slowly I noticed she was starting to ignore me. I knew something was wrong. So I called her up, we talked on the phone for about 2 hours and she decided to break up with me. Again. She said she just isn’t feeling anything for me right now and she’s in a state of confusion about her vocation and she doesn’t think it’s fair to keep me on a string.
I realize that she has every right to discern but I can’t deny that I miss her and love her still. It’s hard for me to let her go. I haven’t talked to her in over a week but I still think about her constantly. I know I have to move on, but in the back of my mind I fantasize about her coming back to me some day. There’s a little seed of hope in my mind that she is just going through a stage in her life right now and she might come back because, well, you never know. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Have any of you gone through a situation like this? Anyone have any advice for me? I would appreciate if you would keep me in your prayers.
