My girlfriend is a Baptist

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I have been in a serious relationship now for over 4 years. I love my girlfriend and we talk often of a future together and getting married. But, we still run into problems and issues when it comes to religion and where our future will take us since she is a Baptist and I am a Catholic. I love her and know that God gives us love and so there must be a way to reconcile or at least come to understandings. I don’t know exactly what my question is but I was hoping for some advice on where to go with this and how to approach it next time we have a discussion or debate. I would love to hear anyone’s advice especially someone coming from a similar situation. Thanks
 
My mother was a Baptist, dad a Methodist. I joined the Foursquare Church and my wife is a cradle Catholic. If the couple can’t come to total belief in doctrine then they have to compromise, probably one more then the other. You both believe in the Trinity so look at it this way it could be worse.
 
2 Corinthians 6:14.

No matter what is said now it will lead to problems downs the road. when children come in to play will they be raised Catholic or not? this is a major issue. Now matter what the answer given now is is will change once the child is born.
 
There are good reasons why the Church discourages mixed faith marriages, you are experiencing some of them, and they have only just begun. Unless you can convince her that the Catholic Faith is the True Faith you will either end up betraying Christ or you will have to end the relationship.
 
Scott makes an excellent point…even though you agree during pre-Cana that the children will be raised Catholic, it often becomes a battle once they actually “get here”.

Tell me this: does she go to Mass with you? Is she fine that her family knows you are Catholic and that she goes to Mass with you on occasion? If she’ll go to Mass with you and is OK with her family knowing, it probably has a good chance of working out long-term (more than the alternative, anyway).
 
Avood said:
I have been in a serious relationship now for over 4 years. I love my girlfriend and we talk often of a future together and getting married. But, we still run into problems and issues when it comes to religion and where our future will take us since she is a Baptist and I am a Catholic. I love her and know that God gives us love and so there must be a way to reconcile or at least come to understandings. I don’t know exactly what my question is but I was hoping for some advice on where to go with this and how to approach it next time we have a discussion or debate. I would love to hear anyone’s advice especially someone coming from a similar situation. Thanks
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Well, it’s going to be a problem, long term. There are so many things that obstruct marriage these days. That’s why there’s so much divorce.

I wonder if she would be willing to agree to raise all your children as Catholic, should you have any? If not, that should be a deal breaker. I would say bite the bullet now and move on. Hard thing to say. Painful to do. But not nearly as painful as doing so years from now when you have children and can’t get along. It’s a very lonely marriage in which the two cannot agree on faith matters. And you cannot afford to compromise on what you believe in the least. Catholicism is the fullness of Divine Revelation. Anything else is less. You would be the man of the house, the spiritual leader. And if you have someone who refuses to follow you in this, then I suspect she would refuse to follow you on other things, too.

Mixed marriages can work, but the odds aren’t as great as marriage to someone who is equally yoked, so to speak. I’m serious. I would either give it my best effort to fix the problem, or move on. I’m able to say this objectively because I’m not emotionally involved in your relationship. Objective advice is almost always better than emotional advice in these matters. It gives you a perspective that you may be lacking. 🙂

If you are going to give it a shot at fixing things, I suggest lots of prayer, sacrifice, and penance ahead of time. She’s going to need a lot of God’s graces.

Here’s a free .mp3 talk that you may share with her by a Baptist who converted to Catholic ism. Maybe that could open the door for more meaningful, deeper discussions.

alabamacatholicresources.com/Downloads/JHSteveRay.mp3
 
This is far more complicated than you think. What pressure and flack will she get when you want to Baptize your babies? How do you explain to your children that their Catholic faith is the one true faith when Mom doesn’t want to go to Church or practice the sacraments?

Remember the mother has the first influence on children since she generally is the main care giver. Do you want a Catholic home or will any Christian religion be enough?

Linda in Ohio
 
Since you are talking marriage I hope you don’t mind me relaying my experience of a Baptist and Catholic relationship, followed with a little advice.

In my case I was the Southern Baptist and my wife was the Catholic. Although I was not very church going and lived a life in a spiritual wasteland, I did always feel the tug back to God; only I ignored it most of the time. My wife however was a very religious and devout Catholic who practiced her faith. I am sure that the scenario of my Southern Baptist background is not that of your girlfriend. You may or may not have experienced conversations with her where she believes certain things about Catholicism that is simply not true. This is not her fault, just a product of her past learning that was probably a little skewed.

My wife took a chance with me when we got married because I was willing to sign church records stating that any children would be brought up in the Catholic Faith. My wife being a beautiful and faithful Catholic insisted that as a couple and someday as a family, we WILL be going to Church every Sunday and Holy day of obligation. She did not insist that I become a Catholic, but we would be united as a family in the sight of God. She never pressured or prodded me to convert; she just exemplified her faith through example. Christ would always be the third person in our marriage. I started to see and learn just what the truths are regarding the Catholic faith and what the CC taught. I also learned what falsehoods I had been taught by the SB community in Sunday school and from the pastors. There were many falsehoods that I was taught I might add. I used to have the mistaken belief that Catholic were idolaters, who bowed and kneeled before and worshiped graven images. During my conversion, it was exactly this issue that was the last of the falsehoods I had to overcome.

Once I overcame them I was running to the Catholic faith and could not wait to become a Catholic. It was my wife that was strong in her faith and an example from day one as a Christian that led me to the Church and made it easy to assume my new faith. It has been twenty-six years now and what greater and nobler way can a woman serve God and the Church than to lead a soul back to Him? I give her full credit for this and saving my life, because without her I do not know where I would have ended up. No, we are not perfect, we are sinners as we all are, and we have had our share of problems. However, our moral compass and our desire for unity, always leads us to God and the Beautiful Catholic faith that we live.

My advice to you two that will help you both is to attend RCIA, there your girlfriend can present her questions and concerns about the Catholic faith and you may learn something new. Second talk to the parish priest and get to know him. Third do not discount her beliefs or make her feel that they are secondary or subordinate to the Catholic faith. She is a Christian.

In my opinion, and this is just my opinion only, a married couple should be in solidarity with each other and of one faith. We have been in love and married going on 29 years now.

Peace of Christ
 
The topic of this thread has given me pause to stop and appreciate that I was fortunate enough over 30 years ago through God’s providence to meet and fall in love with and marry a woman who shared my Catholic faith.

Many of my friends did not find themselves in as blessed a situation, and consequently I have seen separations, and divorces, and myriad problems develop within that group of friends.

I just want to say that sharing the same Catholic faith is such an immense headstart in marriage.
 
Advocatus_Fidei said:
There are good reasons why the Church discourages mixed faith marriages, you are experiencing some of them, and they have only just begun. Unless you can convince her that the Catholic Faith is the True Faith you will either end up betraying Christ or you will have to end the relationship.
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This advice is spot on. The key for me (it is none of my business but you asked so here it is) is that you have been seeing her for four years. It is obvious that she has no intention of converting to Catholicism and is playing you - waiting until the marriage before she tells you the truth. And the truth is this: she has no intention of being Catholic, would prefer you to become Baptist, and definitely is going to insist on raising the kids Baptist, and not ever take them to mass etc.

Run from her, now. Or your kids will never have the Holy Eucharist, knowledge of Mary, and you will find yourself held to account for your kids not getting to fully know Jesus the way you did.

Forget about you - it is all about your kids. Do you want them to never have Holy Communion? Or to mock Blessed Mary? This is where you are heading.

If she won’t convert in four years she is just biding time til marriage. She will then force you to either divorce or accept her Baptist faith. And your kids, too.

Try this on her: ask her to attend RCIA now (I know you approached it and she has given excuses for not yet doing it - and she attends Mass with you too [just to ‘play along’ for now]

Then tell her if she doesn’t convert, you two are through - see if she is willing to convert or is more willing to let you go.

(And she has probably told her parents that eventually she will convert you or at least the kids will be Baptist.)

As I said: RUN NOW OR YOUR KIDS WILL LOSE HOLY COMMUNION AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY END UP DIVORCED.
 
There are loads of Catholic women that are single 👍 I never get into relationships without have the main reason of why I’m with that person in the first place - to have a Catholic family for God and to not mess with their heads by having a non-Catholic wife as their mother. I hope that this helps. I loved a Muslim woman who was my girlfirend but I broke up with her when I realised the truth, so you know what I think you should do. Go for a hardcore Catholic! :cool:
 
Come to an agreement about the religion of the Children.

Just because she is a Baptist does not mean she can’t be trusted. If you trust her; trust her word on allowing you to raise the children as Catholic. If she will not allow them to be raised Catholic this will prove a problem; and you should speak to your priest.

👍
 
vsedriver said:
This is far more complicated than you think. What pressure and flack will she get when you want to Baptize your babies? How do you explain to your children that their Catholic faith is the one true faith when Mom doesn’t want to go to Church or practice the sacraments?

Remember the mother has the first influence on children since she generally is the main care giver. Do you want a Catholic home or will any Christian religion be enough?

Linda in Ohio
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There’s a lot of truth here. I am a cradle Catholic. My husband, really have any religion when we got married, though he was raised Baptist. We planned on having a child, and as soon as I got pregnant I made it clear that I wanted to start going to church. I was actually pretty open to going to any church, as long as it was Christian, since I had not been attending mass regularly for quite some time. (long story)

Well, about a year and and a half after our daughter was born my husband got “saved”. (another long story) He now attends a Baptist Church with his parents and is very involved. He went to mass with me one time before he got saved and freaked out. I went to his church with him a couple of times, for his altar call and his baptism, but told him that it wasn’t the same as mass and that I would continue going to my church. This has been a long hard road for us. It took 18 months for me to get my daughter baptized. Yes, it finally happened but it took us BATTLING over infant baptism, his church teaches that it is unbiblical. We also have MAJOR stress because i’m not the good Christian wife following my husband to Sunday School every week. It is insane the arguments we have had. Way too much to post here.

Some advice I can offer, if it helps, is that you are the supposed to be the spiritual leader. The Baptists are big on the fact that the man should lead his household, and maybe that might help down the road. When you are ready to raise your child in the faith she should follow your lead. It’s caused me grief, because my husband’s pastor keeps telling him that I should follow him. However, my faith has been a part of me since my baptism, as an infant, and it is very strong. I cannot forsake Catholicism, and I pray that someday my husband may come to embrace the truth for himself. It will probably be a VERY long time.
 
There are all kinds of Baptists and all kinds of Catholics.
Code: 
 If you both are determined to remain Baptist and Catholic, it could be that trouble is ahead.

 Otherwise, you could compromise. The Episcopal and Lutheran churches are middle ground between Baptist and Catholic. Catholicism, as I understand it, actually recognizes the valid ordination of Episcopal priests. .

  God isn't nearly as concerned about the name of our church as with our hearts. When the lawyer asked him how to inherit eternal life, his response was love God and love your neighbor. He said nothing about churches, creeds or whatever. 

   I think a wise couple of different Christian affiliations can work it through so that they can live happily together. After all, we have one Lord. This dogmatic notion that seems to keep popping up - you have to be Cathoilic or your soul is in danger - is silly.
 
Roy5 said:
There are all kinds of Baptists and all kinds of Catholics.
Code: 
 If you both are determined to remain Baptist and Catholic, it could be that trouble is ahead.

 Otherwise, you could compromise. The Episcopal and Lutheran churches are middle ground between Baptist and Catholic. Catholicism, as I understand it, actually recognizes the valid ordination of Episcopal priests. .

  God isn't nearly as concerned about the name of our church as with our hearts. When the lawyer asked him how to inherit eternal life, his response was love God and love your neighbor. He said nothing about churches, creeds or whatever. 

   I think a wise couple of different Christian affiliations can work it through so that they can live happily together. After all, we have one Lord. This dogmatic notion that seems to keep popping up - you have to be Cathoilic or your soul is in danger - is silly.
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There is no middle ground between Truth and Error you know not what you are talking about and He did speak about a Church it is right there in His scriptures, go and read them. What you call silly is the Catholic Faith, the One True Apostolic Faith given to us by Christ for our salvation and handed on by His Apostles and their chosen successors.
 
Advocatus_Fidei said:
There are good reasons why the Church discourages mixed faith marriages, you are experiencing some of them, and they have only just begun. Unless you can convince her that the Catholic Faith is the True Faith you will either end up betraying Christ or you will have to end the relationship.
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’

I don’t understand what you are trying to say when you claim that the catholic faith is the True faith. Are you saying that this girl’s faith is not true?
Are they both Christian? or not?
 
Advocatus_Fidei said:
There is no middle ground between Truth and Error you know not what you are talking about and He did speak about a Church it is right there in His scriptures, go and read them. What you call silly is the Catholic Faith, the One True Apostolic Faith given to us by Christ for our salvation and handed on by His Apostles and their chosen successors.
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Agreed, He does not know what he is asking when he suggests religion hopping just to satisfy a whim. There is no middle ground when it comes to the Catholic Faith.
 
Roy5 said:
Otherwise, you could compromise. The Episcopal and Lutheran churches are middle ground between Baptist and Catholic. Catholicism, as I understand it, actually recognizes the valid ordination of Episcopal priests. .
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You don’t understand it.
 
jpink1019 said:
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I don’t understand what you are trying to say when you claim that the catholic faith is the True faith. Are you saying that this girl’s faith is not true?
Are they both Christian? or not?
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The girls faith is incomplete and parts of it are probably the opposite of the Truth, if she is baptised she is a Christian but baptism does not mean she holds the Christian Faith in its perfection and unity, to hold the Faith as Christ and His Apostles taught it would mean she held the Catholic Faith, they are the same.

The Baptist faith is not the faith taught by the Apostles it was invented by John Smyth in the 16th century.

Watch this is says it better than I can and it will even tell you where Christ talks about His Church:

youtube.com/watch?v=r7W97ru024c
 
Advocatus_Fidei said:
The girls faith is incomplete and parts of it are probably the opposite of the Truth, if she is baptised she is a Christian but baptism does not mean she holds the Christian Faith in its perfection and unity, to hold the Faith as Christ and His Apostles taught it would mean she held the Catholic Faith, they are the same.

The Baptist faith is not the faith taught by the Apostles it was invented by John Smyth in the 16th century.

Watch this is says it better than I can and it will even tell you where Christ talks about His Church:

youtube.com/watch?v=r7W97ru024c
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Good job, brother 🙂 When you believe in God you should only consider being a Catholic 👍
 
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