My girlfriend is a Baptist

[laneo]

Bugspit. Yes they can. And quite a lot of them do.A couple practicing Natural Family Planning is going to refrain from the marital embrace for all of 3-4 days out of every month if they are choosing to avoid pregnancy. It’s not all that difficult to manage. Really. It’s not that they are supposed to quit having sex entirely unless they’re hoping to create new life. God designed sex to be both unitive and procreative.

And quite a lot of them don’t. Just cause someone practices NFP, doesn’t put them on a pedestal. I am sure there’s a higher percentage of Catholic couples who don’t practice NFP than those who do. Not saying that it’s right or wrong, but some couples like sex. I am young, so I guess I just look at it differently.

 

[oneGODoneCHURCH]

And quite a lot of them don’t. Just cause someone practices NFP, doesn’t put them on a pedestal. I am sure there’s a higher percentage of Catholic couples who don’t practice NFP than those who do. Not saying that it’s right or wrong, but some couples like sex. I am young, so I guess I just look at it differently.

Being young has nothiong to do with it. Nor is it a matter of liking sex. It a matter of not being animals with not controll over your base desires.

 

[Pixie_Dust]

And quite a lot of them don’t. Just cause someone practices NFP, doesn’t put them on a pedestal. I am sure there’s a higher percentage of Catholic couples who don’t practice NFP than those who do. Not saying that it’s right or wrong, but some couples like sex. I am young, so I guess I just look at it differently.

Ah, the “everyone else is doin’ it” argument. Does that ever work with your parents? 'Cause it sure never worked with mine! I’m not that old, either.

I do have a lot of respect for couples who practice NFP, or a couple who don’t do anything at all but trust God to take care of their family, no matter how many children they have. You can find couples like that all over the place, not just in Catholicism.

People like sex? Who’d a thunk it. :doh2:

Seriously, though, by having a few - a FEW - days where a couple chooses not to have sex, they get to do other things together, like TALK, PRAY or watch a MOVIE. There’s more to a relationship than sex. If you are in a relationship with someone and the only thing the two of you can think of to do for fun is jump in bed, that’s not a very strong foundation for a relationship and it probably won’t last.

 

[laneo]

Ah, the “everyone else is doin’ it” argument. Does that ever work with your parents? 'Cause it sure never worked with mine! I’m not that old, either.

I do have a lot of respect for couples who practice NFP, or a couple who don’t do anything at all but trust God to take care of their family, no matter how many children they have. You can find couples like that all over the place, not just in Catholicism.

People like sex? Who’d a thunk it. :doh2:

Seriously, though, by having a few - a FEW - days where a couple chooses not to have sex, they get to do other things together, like TALK, PRAY or watch a MOVIE. There’s more to a relationship than sex. If you are in a relationship with someone and the only thing the two of you can think of to do for fun is jump in bed, that’s not a very strong foundation for a relationship and it probably won’t last.

I understand there is more to a relationship than sex. I am not that shallow dude. My fiancée and I already talk, discuss religious matters, watch movies, take trips, cook together, etc. Yes we arent perfect, believe me…. I am sure we could practice NFP after we get married, who knows. All I can say is that, when I get married sex isn’t my main focus, I am not a full blown sex addict or anything. hahah. Sure I am not the most moral person on the block either. There are times we all may stumble and submit to our “savage” desires. Some people are just stronger than others.

 

[Jim_Dandy]

There are more than 250 kinds of Baptists, and my experience is with the Southern variety. I know what I was taught about the Catholic Church, both in Sunday School and from the pulpit, virtually non-stop, during my many years as a Baptist – that the CC is the Whore of Babylon mentioned in Revelation, that the Pope is the anti-Christ, that the evil, devious CC plans to take over the world, etc. etc. etc. Many Internet conversations with other kinds of Baptists convinces me that this attitude is common among most or all of them. My Baptist family was bitterly anti-Catholic, and I imbided these beliefs and attitudes with my mother’s milk.

Needless to say, this is not good preparation for marriage with a Catholic.

I escaped with a detour through agnosticism and atheism, and years later at last, under the most unusual circumstances, I discovered the logic and the inestimable beauty of the Catholic Faith.

My advice: marry a Catholic. I also ask, is your current girl friend willing to attend RCIA? Time will tell if she can shuck her Baptist upbringing and embrace the Truth. Marry her only if she joins the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, thus assuring that your children will be raised in the True Faith. Know your Faith well, live it in her presence, and be ready to answer her questions.

Otherwise passion will wane, as it inevitably does, and you’ll be left facing a lifetime of regret.

Jim Dandy

 

[lutherlic]

I understand there is more to a relationship than sex. I am not that shallow dude. My fiancée and I already talk, discuss religious matters, watch movies, take trips, cook together, etc. Yes we arent perfect, believe me…. I am sure we could practice NFP after we get married, who knows. All I can say is that, when I get married sex isn’t my main focus, I am not a full blown sex addict or anything. hahah. Sure I am not the most moral person on the block either. There are times we all may stumble and submit to our “savage” desires. Some people are just stronger than others.

laneo, I missed if you mentioned your background but I see you have a fiancée. With all due respect, you don’t yet have the personal experience that some of us do. If your fiancée happens not to be Catholic, then I understand your position. I sincerely hope that it works out for you but as I commented in other posts, I think it will depend on the depth of your faiths (if you are both devout, expect a lot of heartbreak).

 

[crazzeto]

Mixed marriages are complicated, you risk when you marry your childeren not being in the Church. It’s also possible for it to work, my wife’s RCIA class (I attended them all actually with her, and sponsored) was full of married people who were now after years of marriage finally converting to Catholisism.

My first question is this, how well versed are you in the faith? If you really intend on persuing a marriage become very well versed in the Catholic faith, fully understand why it is what we believe, read the Catechism and the Church fathers and especially the bible regularly. If your church has bible study, attend it.

Most importantly, live the life of a good Catholic… Truely live it, and this is where things will get trickier. For instance as Catholics we reject not just premarital sex, but also birth control. This is probably going to be a sticky issue, but it is important because it will involve grave sin for you if you compramise on this one.

God bless, and best of luck

 

[nhylan]

I’m pretty surprised and disappointed how many people are telling this guy to dump his significant other because they don’t share the same faith. Work at it, My fiance and I have had no problems reconciling our faiths. Its a compromise that’s all. Maybe if the OP was as extreme about his beliefs as some people on here he might be willing to just give up a relationship he’s been working on for years because anonymous people on a conservative website are telling you to do so but I don’t get that sense from the poster, he seems to be a measured individual. Someone looking for reason and truth.

The truth is this: the more extreme you are in your views, and the less your willing to bend the more difficult its going to be. Moderation in all things is good, use your judgment, love, and experience to determine a path that respects both your wishes and significant others.

 

[crazzeto]

I’m pretty surprised and disappointed how many people are telling this guy to dump his significant other because they don’t share the same faith. Work at it, My fiance and I have had no problems reconciling our faiths. Its a compromise that’s all. Maybe if the OP was as extreme about his beliefs as some people on here he might be willing to just give up a relationship he’s been working on for years because anonymous people on a conservative website are telling you to do so but I don’t get that sense from the poster, he seems to be a measured individual. Someone looking for reason and truth.

The truth is this: the more extreme you are in your views, and the less your willing to bend the more difficult its going to be. Moderation in all things is good, use your judgment, love, and experience to determine a path that respects both your wishes and significant others.

There are certain things a Catholic, simply put can not compramise. Human relationships are important, but in the words of the Lord

Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me;

So while certainly his relationship in and of its self is no doubt a good, love of God is a greater good. I’m not going to tell him his relationship is headed for doom with out any doubts, but I’m going to be realistic enough to tell him he’s introducing a lot of complexities that simply woudln’t otherwise exist and the OP quite clearly has a sense of this fact.

Whatever the OP does, he must always remember that love of God is always the greater good. His (possible) future wife should also keep this in mind. When I first started dating my wife she was a baptist, considering converting, but at the time she was totally wrapped up in OSAS and works are bad theology. It told her then that love of God is the greatest thing, so no matter what she should do as her contience dictates. I wasn’t sure then if things would work out, even dispte her desire to convert to the Catholic faith, simply put because it was clear to me that she was under the impression that the Catholic faith expoused all the same doctrines that her Evangelical Baptist church did.

Since then, we’ve gotten pretty much on the same page and still, we both believe love of God is the greatest love. This is something we plan to teach to our childeren. The extrodenary reality of God demands this, after all God is anything but a bad parent… I hope to follow his example and not be one as well.

 

[Redratfish]

I’m pretty surprised and disappointed how many people are telling this guy to dump his significant other because they don’t share the same faith. Work at it, My fiance and I have had no problems reconciling our faiths. Its a compromise that’s all. Maybe if the OP was as extreme about his beliefs as some people on here he might be willing to just give up a relationship he’s been working on for years because anonymous people on a conservative website are telling you to do so but I don’t get that sense from the poster, he seems to be a measured individual. Someone looking for reason and truth.

The truth is this: the more extreme you are in your views, and the less your willing to bend the more difficult its going to be. Moderation in all things is good, use your judgment, love, and experience to determine a path that respects both your wishes and significant others.

You forget, this is a catholic site. On a site that is made for a group, the extremists take over. I disagree with a lot of what people say here. I am a hardcore Catholic, born after Vatican II, whose parents were mixed religion when they married, and stayed that way until around 10 years after they got married (dad converted to the Catholic faith). Don’t be bothered that there are extremists here, know that some people aren’t that crazy.

P.S. I agree with your post

 

[nhylan]

You forget, this is a catholic site. On a site that is made for a group, the extremists take over. I disagree with a lot of what people say here. I am a hardcore Catholic, born after Vatican II, whose parents were mixed religion when they married, and stayed that way until around 10 years after they got married (dad converted to the Catholic faith). Don’t be bothered that there are extremists here, know that some people aren’t that crazy.

P.S. I agree with your post

your correct, plus its sort of a cycle. The more people share their like views, the more they feel those views are confirmed by those around them. Extremism is a very safe place to be in some ways. You can simply dismiss others because your beliefs are being confirmed by others around you.

 

[CWBetts]

You can’t help who you fall in love with. You just got to raise your kids the best you can. I am far from being the best Catholic, that’s for sure. So my words may not mean anything. There’s a lot of people in this situation

For example:

I know a gentlemen at my church and his wife is protestant. He is doing quite well and has been married many many years. He does much for the church and loves his wife. He does go to church by himself, which is a bit depressing.

Take me for example. I was raised Catholic, she is Assembly of God,but I don’t mind. My fiancée is a very good person and has much faith in Christ. She and I are not perfect, but we both accept Christ as the true Son of God and our Savior. She even attends church with me quite a bit, and I have been to her church as well (and it was actually enjoyable, lots of praise, singing and worship ). I won’t force her to convert, if she wants to, she wants to, end of story. Also, why would she convert when I myself have a hard time understand all the CC tells me, that would be down right wrong.

You can have a very good marriage. Just try your best and enjoy life, don’t let this break you up. If you love her, that’s what counts. Salvation doesn’t go away because you have a mixed marriage.

I call baloney. Love is an act of will, not an act of chance.

 

[oneGODoneCHURCH]

I’m pretty surprised and disappointed how many people are telling this guy to dump his significant other because they don’t share the same faith. Work at it, My fiance and I have had no problems reconciling our faiths. Its a compromise that’s all. Maybe if the OP was as extreme about his beliefs as some people on here he might be willing to just give up a relationship he’s been working on for years because anonymous people on a conservative website are telling you to do so but I don’t get that sense from the poster, he seems to be a measured individual. Someone looking for reason and truth.

The truth is this: the more extreme you are in your views, and the less your willing to bend the more difficult its going to be. Moderation in all things is good, use your judgment, love, and experience to determine a path that respects both your wishes and significant others.

I would be dissappointed to if that was what people were saying. However what is really being said is that as catholic we are to hold to the percepts of the church. One of which is to marry in the church. another is to raise any and all children within the church.
What we have here is warnings to the OP of very real and possiblly impossible to over come road blocks that this relationship has in front of it if he choose to marry someone outside the faith.
Those who say don’t worry about and do what feels right are not doing this young man any favors.

Also moderation is good in thing such as eating, drinking, and most things in life, one such not relax to much or exercise too much, but there are things that you have to take a firm stance on and choose a side. In the words of Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid, walk on left side of road, safe. walk on right side of road, safe. walk in middle of road, squeesh just like grape.

 

[CWBetts]

I’m pretty surprised and disappointed how many people are telling this guy to dump his significant other because they don’t share the same faith. Work at it, My fiance and I have had no problems reconciling our faiths. Its a compromise that’s all. Maybe if the OP was as extreme about his beliefs as some people on here he might be willing to just give up a relationship he’s been working on for years because anonymous people on a conservative website are telling you to do so but I don’t get that sense from the poster, he seems to be a measured individual. Someone looking for reason and truth.

The truth is this: the more extreme you are in your views, and the less your willing to bend the more difficult its going to be. Moderation in all things is good, use your judgment, love, and experience to determine a path that respects both your wishes and significant others.

There are non-negotiables at stake here. For example, it is a grave responsibility of a Catholic parent to raise their children as Catholics. There can be no middle ground here. Marrying an Evangelical (not just Baptists) is a grave danger to your own faith because of the prevalent anti-Catholic views among Evangelical Protestants. Even if the girlfriend is ok with a Catholic husband, would she be willing to have her children baptized as infants (contrary to Baptist belief), be educated and confirmed (not part of Baptist tradition), see her children go to Mass, while she goes to her worship service on Sundays, etc.? And what of her family? How open are they to Catholicism? It is best for a Catholic to marry a Catholic.

 

[nhylan]

“My advice: marry a Catholic. I also ask, is your current girl friend willing to attend RCIA? Time will tell if she can shuck her Baptist upbringing and embrace the Truth. Marry her only if she joins the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, thus assuring that your children will be raised in the True Faith. Know your Faith well, live it in her presence, and be ready to answer her questions.”

"Run from her, now. Or your kids will never have the Holy Eucharist, knowledge of Mary, and you will find yourself held to account for your kids not getting to fully know Jesus the way you did. "

"There are loads of Catholic women that are single "

“My advice: marry a Catholic”

CLEARLY people are telling him to leave her.

 

[CWBetts]

“My advice: marry a Catholic. I also ask, is your current girl friend willing to attend RCIA? Time will tell if she can shuck her Baptist upbringing and embrace the Truth. Marry her only if she joins the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, thus assuring that your children will be raised in the True Faith. Know your Faith well, live it in her presence, and be ready to answer her questions.”

"Run from her, now. Or your kids will never have the Holy Eucharist, knowledge of Mary, and you will find yourself held to account for your kids not getting to fully know Jesus the way you did. "

"There are loads of Catholic women that are single "

“My advice: marry a Catholic”

CLEARLY people are telling him to leave her.

Not out oaf superiority, but out of recognition of the grave responsibility of a Catholic parent

 

[nhylan]

There are non-negotiables at stake here. For example, it is a grave responsibility of a Catholic parent to raise their children as Catholics. There can be no middle ground here. Marrying an Evangelical (not just Baptists) is a grave danger to your own faith because of the prevalent anti-Catholic views among Evangelical Protestants. Even if the girlfriend is ok with a Catholic husband, would she be willing to have her children baptized as infants (contrary to Baptist belief), be educated and confirmed (not part of Baptist tradition), see her children go to Mass, while she goes to her worship service on Sundays, etc.? And what of her family? How open are they to Catholicism? It is best for a Catholic to marry a Catholic.

This happens ALL the time. it may be best for an extremist to marry an extremist but your average catholic and your average protestant don’t look at it like that at all. Again, its all well and good to shut yourself in a comfortable shell of absolutes but reality doesn’t operate like that, and many believe: neither does God.

 

[CWBetts]

This happens ALL the time. it may be best for an extremist to marry an extremist but your average catholic and your average protestant don’t look at it like that at all. Again, its all well and good to shut yourself in a comfortable shell of absolutes but reality doesn’t operate like that, and many believe: neither does God.

What I stated is the position of th Church. A Catholic parent may not allow his or her Children to be raised in another faith.

 

[oneGODoneCHURCH]

This happens ALL the time. it may be best for an extremist to marry an extremist but your average catholic and your average protestant don’t look at it like that at all. Again, its all well and good to shut yourself in a comfortable shell of absolutes but reality doesn’t operate like that, and many believe: neither does God.

Yes it happens all the time, and all the time you hear of people having problem with it. It is not about extremist. Children how do not go to church at all once they get into their teens cuz even their parents can not agreee on a faith. Grandparents fighting with their children because the grandchild is or is not being raised Catholic.

You make comments about people shutting themselves in a comfortable shell of absolutes. What about those that are wlaikng around on the warm foggy of relativity?
I would be giving the same warning to the girl in this case. and If I were a protestant I would voice the same concerns to some that is protestant and thinking of marring a catholic.

Oh and God is all about absolutes. Take a look at the 10 comandments. they are comandments by the way not recommendations.

 

[nhylan]

What I stated is the position of th Church. A Catholic parent may not allow his or her Children to be raised in another faith.

they have to sign a paper agreeing to that to have a sacramental wedding. Not everyone wants that.