My girlfriend is apparently anti-Catholic :(

  • Thread starter Thread starter TeenageConvert
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
T

TeenageConvert

Guest
So my girlfriend and I have been dating just shy of two months, and I care a lot about her and am starting to fall in love…but just yesterday she and I had our first fight and it was over religion. I have invited her to come to Mass and Lifeteen with me several times, and she’s always come up with some excuse. At first I took it at face value but then yesterday she just flat out said no she didn’t want to come to the Good Friday service with me. So later yesterday I asked her if she was unwilling to go to a Catholic Church at all and she said yes she would not. This really offended and hurt me bc I’m an ex Protestant and HATE going to Protestant churches but I’d gone with her out of courtesy thinking she’d do the same for me. Well I told her I would no longer attend anything Protestant with her if she refused to even attend a Catholic Mass and we argued for a whole and eventually just decided to agree to disagree for now. She knew I was going to Confession that day as well and sent me a text whilst I was in church that said “remember Jesus died so you don’t have to confess to man” which told me this could be really tough lol. But then today I looked at her Instapray (social media site for Christians) and she was saying “please pray The Lord will show my boyfriend his love and lead him out of Catholicism” and “Jesus save my boyfriend he’s trapped in an evil religion”. I’m so hurt and confused like idk how she can think that and I don’t know how to go about this I don’t want to end the relationship but I haven’t an idea of what to do :confused:
 
From one teenager to another: please end it while it’s still young. Two months. Much better now than when even more time, years even, may have passed. It’s NOT going to be good if you continue, she is obviously bent on converting you. With religion it is very important, I believe, for dating couples to be on the same page. I had a boyfriend whom I dated almost for a year, and he was Catholic but picked and chose what he wanted to believe from it. It caused me great suffering as I tried to convince him to believe in the tenets his own religion, without success. (That, along with other perhaps little things that bothered and hurt me greatly.) I shouldn’t have let it go on for so long. There are better people out there. Just imagine how lovely it would be to be with someone on the same page, so you do not have to worry about it.
 
laircy said:
From one teenager to another: please end it while it’s still young. Two months. Much better now than when even more time, years even, may have passed. It’s NOT going to be good if you continue, she is obviously bent on converting you. With religion it is very important, I believe, for dating couples to be on the same page. I had a boyfriend whom I dated almost for a year, and he was Catholic but picked and chose what he wanted to believe from it. It caused me great suffering as I tried to convince him to believe in the tenets his own religion, without success. (That, along with other perhaps little things that bothered and hurt me greatly.) I shouldn’t have let it go on for so long. There are better people out there. Just imagine how lovely it would be to be with someone on the same page, so you do not have to worry about it.
Click to expand...
This teenager agrees. (I’m still 19. I’m a teen for another 4 months) I know I’ll sound like a broken record, but there really are better people out there. Take it from someone who just recently went to Adoration with a girl. (Admittedly not as a date, though. 😃 Much to my dismay, she’s still dating a guy from high school)
 
Take it from someone who is married to a wonderfully devout Catholic – you want to be on the same spiritual page as your significant other. You’re young and it’s only been two months (I know that may seem like a long time, but in reality it is not). Even if the marriage and kids question is way out in the future (as it usually is two months in), why waste your time and energy arguing when you could be spending it with someone who shares your faith?
 
I agree with others - it will hurt, but its better to end it now before you fall too much in love. Since she is anti Catholic - what about the possibility of marriage when you’re older? A nuptial Mass would be out of the question, as would raising children Catholic. I know you’re too young to think about that - but its something that COULD come up some day with anyone you date.

Perhaps your parish has a social group for teens where you could make friends that are Catholic?
 
:confused: I know you guys are making sense but I just don’t know. A friend of mine who also used to date a Protestant advised me to try to clear up some of her misconceptions just so she realises I am a Christian and not “stuck” in some horrible religion. I am going to try that but if she still feels the same way after that I guess I’ll have no choice but to end it. It just really surprised me I feel almost betrayed that she honesty thinks I don’t know Christ after all the times we’ve talked about God and prayed with and for each other
 
TeenageConvert said:
So my girlfriend and I have been dating just shy of two months, and I care a lot about her and am starting to fall in love…but just yesterday she and I had our first fight and it was over religion. I have invited her to come to Mass and Lifeteen with me several times, and she’s always come up with some excuse. At first I took it at face value but then yesterday she just flat out said no she didn’t want to come to the Good Friday service with me. So later yesterday I asked her if she was unwilling to go to a Catholic Church at all and she said yes she would not. This really offended and hurt me bc I’m an ex Protestant and HATE going to Protestant churches but I’d gone with her out of courtesy thinking she’d do the same for me. Well I told her I would no longer attend anything Protestant with her if she refused to even attend a Catholic Mass and we argued for a whole and eventually just decided to agree to disagree for now. She knew I was going to Confession that day as well and sent me a text whilst I was in church that said “remember Jesus died so you don’t have to confess to man” which told me this could be really tough lol. But then today I looked at her Instapray (social media site for Christians) and she was saying “please pray The Lord will show my boyfriend his love and lead him out of Catholicism” and “Jesus save my boyfriend he’s trapped in an evil religion”. I’m so hurt and confused like idk how she can think that and I don’t know how to go about this I don’t want to end the relationship but I haven’t an idea of what to do :confused:
Click to expand...
If she is asking for prayers to take you out of Catholicism, then it is time to walk away and find a nice Catholic girl to date or a girl who has more respect for your religion.
 
Christ directed Peter to build one Church in His name, as challenging as it may appear, your girlfriend has presented you with an ultimatum to choose between her and Christ. Choose wisely.

Lord, have mercy on TeenageConvert, please grant this soul many graces and angelic help in the face of every challenge. Instil in this soul a zeal to find fulfilment in all parts of Catholic faith, especially the sacraments of Blessed Eucharist and Reconciliation. Shine your divine light into this darkened pilgrimage, that this soul be emboldened by the warmth of your radiance and strive for holy obedience, now, unto the eternal garden of joy. Cultivate in this soul the virtues of peace, joy, faith, hope, and love. Our Lady, angels, and saints, pray with us. Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

†
 
She’s possibly acting that way because she loves him (wants good for him) and the information she has about Catholicism makes it difficult or impossible for her to do otherwise. Clearing up some misconceptions would be a good idea. Don’t count her as anti-Catholic if she’s not sufficiently informed.

Now she may be following God as best she can and still not be a good match for you, but that doesn’t a true opponent of something she doesn’t know. So try talking. I’m not saying push her to convert, just talk to her.
 
Finish it. She will never make a good wife for you with her attitudes as she shows she doesn’t really respect you in the basics. It may hurt but the relationship is very young as you are and there are plenty of good catholic girls out who will support you in your faith. It is in the dating process that we validly determine valued friends and relationships. God Bless
 
I met my now husband when I was 19. He was an evangelical non-denominational Christian. He thought Catholicism was a false religion. We got married at said non-denominational church. Then after a few years we went to a Baptist church for a while. Make a long story short we have been married for 14 years now and he is coming into the Church tonight at the Easter Vigil. It has been a long, hard road and my prayers were answered last August when he agrred to have our marriage convalidated and signed up for RCIA (a day I thought I would never see).

I compromised my beliefs for him. I don’t recommend anyone do that. I was young and in love. I didn’t realize at the time how hard it was going to get once we started having children and I wanted them baptized and he thought they should wait until the age of accountability, etc. I just want to warn you that if this relationships continues it will be difficult, I’m not saying impossible, just warning you it will only get harder. Stay realistic.
 
I would say to try to work it out if she was disinterested in Catholicism or even a bit afraif of what she’d been told. If she had an open mind and could listen, it might be possible to salvage this relationship. But being virulently anti-Catholic as she appears, should be a definite game changer. Imagine trying to face the tricky subjects of chastity, birth control, etc.!

Two months seems like a long time invested when you’re a teenager, but trust me, it is just a thin sliver of time! Take it from someone who has lived through 275 2-month spreads, forever won’t happen when someone hates the very source of your beliefs and morals.

I will pray for you both!

BTW, my devout Catholic daughter is married to a very loving and understanding Protestant man. They were married in Church and they fully respect each other. He comes from a very anti-Catholic faith (and recently became one of its ministers), but has loved getting to know our Catholic faith and practices. You should have seen him spilling out his first Christmas stocking!
 
The reason for dating is to discern marriage and this can’t possibly work. Please save yourself and her a lot of grief by ending it now because do you really want to get more attached?

She will meet other Catholics in her life that can clear up misconceptions. People at work, living next door, her hairdresser. Do not put yourself in an occasion of sin where you both become so attached that you both decide to compromise, or just one of you to keep the peace. It’s like a man who has a drinking problem and quits going to the bar. He starts to miss his friends and thinks that he can go back and spend time and just have 7up. He needs new friends that will help him to stay sober but still enjoy life and walk with Christ. Sometimes you just have to make the hard decisions.
 
I would suggest buying her a wee gift? ‘Jimmy Swaggert Made Me Catholic’ by Tim Staples is an excellent book about a man who was absolutely, completely, viciously anti Catholic to the marrow of his bones. You could ask her to read it and then agree to chat?
 
mrsjennymulhall said:
I would suggest buying her a wee gift? ‘Jimmy Swaggert Made Me Catholic’ by Tim Staples is an excellent book about a man who was absolutely, completely, viciously anti Catholic to the marrow of his bones. You could ask her to read it and then agree to chat?
Click to expand...
I have done this with a few people. I gave them a Youcat to get rid of the false information. One of them is a future convert (and he knows it.) The other is on his way to the faith. The key to a conversion from my perspective is LIVING the faith instead of just preaching it. Although I have no clue if you want to convert her yet. If getting rid of misconceptions doesn’t work, then leave. It’s a lot easier to burn a stick than a log.

Hope I helped! 😃
 
TeenageConvert,

Now, I can’t say that I am an expert on dating, but I thought I would post and just give you my two cents.

Your Girlfriend is clearly one of those Protestants who believe our faith to be somehow incorrect. Of course, she is wrong but, as someone mentioned before, she most definitely believes she is doing what God wants her to do. In my opinion, the fact that she is trying to take you away from Catholicism (despite doing so being wrong ) shows how much she really loves you. She seems to just want what she believes is best for you.

With respect to everyone else’s opinion, I urge you not to break it off because of this. I know of quite a few Catholic/Protestant marriages and even Catholic/atheist marriages that work just fine (even better than some Catholic/Catholic marriages that I know of.)

From what I’ve read, you seem to love this girl and she seems to love you. if this is the case, I urge you to try and make it work before thinking of breaking it off.

Don’t do something that you may regret.

God Bless you both,
Gallifreyan7.
 
TeenageConvert said:
:confused: I know you guys are making sense but I just don’t know. A friend of mine who also used to date a Protestant advised me to try to clear up some of her misconceptions just so she realises I am a Christian and not “stuck” in some horrible religion. I am going to try that but if she still feels the same way after that I guess I’ll have no choice but to end it. It just really surprised me I feel almost betrayed that she honesty thinks I don’t know Christ after all the times we’ve talked about God and prayed with and for each other
Click to expand...
Why don’t you ask her why she is anti- Catholic, as your not anti- Protestant, then try and ask her why is this what questions bug her, then try and answer them as she has obviously picked up some wrong doctrines of the Catholic Church, no pun intended but maybe also give her a book called “Catholicism for Dummies” I use this myself being a Convert - its great. But at the end of the day, sorry but its not going to work, as others have said your only going with her for 2 months that is what meant by going out , just to see if both are compatible - you and she are not. Break it off before you sink into the deep end of the pool its already an uphill battle after two months, for your own salvation and Love of the Lord you go your way with a nice Catholic girl.

Walk with the Lord.
 
Dating a person like this will end up being a stumbling block to your Catholic faith. You are seeking a potential mate, and your OP is as clear as day: She isn’t the one. You don’t get married or date to change someone. She has her views, and they are antithetical to your own. A relationship would be hard, a marriage would be debilitating.

End it now. Believe me, there are greener pastures. I know. If I had married my college girlfriend, I would have been in a similar situation as yours, and I would have been miserable. I called it off when I saw it wasn’t working out. I ended up marrying a Catholic woman who is on the same page as I am spiritually. We are like two blades continually sharpening each other. It’s awesome.

I’m now 40, and I count that college break-up as one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.
 
chefmomster2 said:
I would say to try to work it out if she was disinterested in Catholicism or even a bit afraif of what she’d been told. If she had an open mind and could listen, it might be possible to salvage this relationship. But being virulently anti-Catholic as she appears, should be a definite game changer. Imagine trying to face the tricky subjects of chastity, birth control, etc.!

Two months seems like a long time invested when you’re a teenager, but trust me, it is just a thin sliver of time! Take it from someone who has lived through 275 2-month spreads, forever won’t happen when someone hates the very source of your beliefs and morals.

I will pray for you both!

BTW, my devout Catholic daughter is married to a very loving and understanding Protestant man. They were married in Church and they fully respect each other. He comes from a very anti-Catholic faith (and recently became one of its ministers), but has loved getting to know our Catholic faith and practices. You should have seen him spilling out his first Christmas stocking!
Click to expand...
Excellent, solid response. There is a huge chasm of difference in dating a Protestant who is respectful of your faith or even someone who knows little but is respectful. This young lady is being passive aggressive on social media and did not put her issues with Catholicism on the table to be discussed or worked through, those are the reasons it won’t work. Granted much of that may very well be immaturity and ignorance that can change over time but there is no guarantee that it will or that she has a desire to be any way other than what she is now. Even if the spiritual hurdles could be mended (which I wouldn’t count on) do you want to continue to date someone whose every gripe with you will be subject to social media?? I would end it with this young lady.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top