After mass she broke down and claimed that “we” Catholics don’t recognize non-Catholics as Christians, as communion is “exclusive” to only Catholics. But what really hurt her (and took offense to) was that it’s considered a sin for me to take communion at her church (as if there were something wrong with her church). And was deeply saddened by us never being able to take communion together. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t celebrate Christ by following his command of taking communion in memorance of him regardless of whether she’s a Catholic or not, and why it would be so bad for me to take it at her church, as her church would welcome anyone to participate in communion. I tried explaining that we believe that the Eucharist is really the flesh and blood of Christ (aka “Real Presence”), and it doesn’t mean we do it in “memory” of him or as “symbolism”, etc. Didn’t make much of a difference to her.
For one, baptism is what makes us Christian. It’s not communion.
For another, it’s sinful for you to receive communion at her services because it’s not really the body, blood, soul and divinity of Christ. It’s not sinful for her to receive at her services because she doesn’t believe it’s really Jesus. You, on the other hand, believe communion is supposed to be Jesus. There is unity in that you are both Christian, but there is not unity of belief. Receiving communion despite the big difference in belief on not what but WHO communion is, would be to pretend that unity exists where it does not.
The Mass (or Divine Liturgy) is superior in an objective sense to any Protestant service because Jesus is present in the Eucharist, but that speaks to the service rather than the people who celebrate at those services. The only one who can judge a person is God. I don’t take it personally when someone questions the Church or the Mass or whatever. If she is unable or willing to see the difference between judging a religion and judging a person, then that’s a discussion you need to have sooner rather than later.
I feel terrible that I wasn’t able to give her any satisfactory answers to her questions. Would anyone reading this help me out here? I’m hoping someone can give me good explanations for her that are not putting down her faith, such as “you (Protestants) are wrong and we (Catholics) are right!” etc. I think she raised interesting points.
In her denomination, there probably aren’t any significant rules about who can and can’t receive the bread and wine (or juice). They probably also treat it as a purely symbolic act of unity or the like. That’s the way it is at my wife’s non-denominational church.
The Eucharist, however, is not about performing a symbolic act to show everyone around us how united we are. It’s about something personal between each individual and Jesus rather than someting public between the members of the congregation. The Eucharist gives those who receive Him sanctifying grace, on an individual basis, provided we are properly disposed to receive.
Because the Eucharist really is Jesus, we take things regarding the Eucharist very seriously and have several rules about being properly disposed to receive the Lord. Clearly explain to her that being Catholic doesn’t automatically qualify one for receiving communion. Observing the Eucharistic fast of one hour and not being under ecclesial censure (such as excommunication) are qualifications which must be met as well, albeit matters of discipline rather than doctrine and normally rather easily met. But two other rules are based directly on Scripture.
For one, we must be in a state of grace and have made a good confession since our last mortal sin. 1 Corinthians 11:27-28 is very clear on this:
Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord. A person should examine himself, and so eat the bread and drink the cup.
Even a Catholic is not to present themselves for communion if they are under pain of mortal sin. If that’s the case, sit in the pew and make a spiritual communion instead. I’ve had to refrain from receiving communion more than once because of an unconfessed mortal sin, and was greatly embarassed every time. But that’s good because it encouraged me to get myself to confession ASAP
But being in a state of grace is only part of it. We must actually believe in transubstantiation. It’s not enough to believe Jesus is present in some vague and unknowable way. No, it must be the very specific belief that the bread and wine have become the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus despite still appearing to be bread and wine. 1 Corinthians 11:29-30 continues with the following:
*For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many among you are ill and infirm, and a considerable number are dying. *
I believe that this is the most important rule for your girlfriend for the same reason I believe it’s the most important rule for my wife. If my wife eats and drinks judgement on herself, it won’t be because I neglected to inform her of that fact. It will be because she went and did it anyway despite my explanation.
This is why belief in the Real Presence is so important. We’re not trying to be spiteful to non-Catholics. We don’t want to permit them to eat and drink judgement on themselves out of ignorance, not just for their sake but because if we permit sinful behavior then we ourselves sin.
