My Girlfriend

[cargopilot]

CatholicCid:

Would it be that hard to move the furniture out?

Well, yes. It would. Give him a break.

You would have to borrow a friend’s pick-up, and that would mean having to buy beer and/or gas. ou know how much gas is, today. You might have to rent a truck, and that would cost really big bux.

It could take anywhere from a half a Saturday to the whole weekend. And all that heavy lifting.

Then, you would have to find a place to put that stuff. Either in the place you’re already in, or the folks house, even a storage unit. More $$$.

So, you see, it would be much better to place all your faith and values in the trash, to live a few years with someone who just might laugh at your silly, old Catholic ways, so you could finally separate under much more difficult conditions, maybe even after having a kid or two. Doesn’t that sound so much easier than moving your stuff now?

If it were me, I could just walk away from all the stuff I had in that apartment and it would be the cheapest deal I’d ever get.

 

[jegow]

film_reilly:

easier said than done…I am sorta trapped because we are planning to move in together in September. We even have most of our furniture in the apartment.

No, no, no, no, no! You are never trapped. God gave us free will.

Sure you might tick off this girl big time by saying that you have second thoughts. Really, that will more than likely happen. Like all the others have said, did you expect us to tell you what you wanted to hear? ‘Go and move in.’ Sorry, your not going to hear that.

At this point it sounds like you know what is the right thing is. Now you need to do it and leave that life of sin behind, otherwise it will consume you and rob you of your faith. Seriously!

 

[trailblazer]

I do not believe you love each other. True love would mean to accept the other person. She cannot and will never accept an essential part of you – your faith. So, you may be infatuated. You may have emotions. You make have lust. I doubt seriously it is LOVE! Dump her!!!

 

[SpiritIsWilling]

I can vouch for what you’re going through. I’d honestly say to break up with her. It might be hard, but over time I promise you it will get better.

You don’t know how faithful she will be later in life, and God is the only one who will be there 100% when the stuff hits the fan. Don’t put God on the side for something that may or may not last.

 

[YinYangMom]

film_reilly:

She does respect my faith and I really do Love her. I know lots of people that had interfaith marriages, there were some issues, but most of them have been married for 20 yrs or more.

No, she doesn’t respect your faith,
but who can blame her? By sleeping with her
you are misrepresenting what being Catholic is all
about. You can’t talk to her about Jesus during the
day then sleep with her out of marriage during the night.

God sends people in our paths for varying reasons.
Apparently you were meant to cross paths with her
and fall in love. But you have to know in your heart
and soul, that there is no future for a pagan bride.

Film_Reilly, sex serves two purposes - procreative and
unitive - but any sexual union must include G-d in that
embrace for it represents the full participation in the
Holy Trinity. Procreatively, you invite G-d into the
embrace to allow you to participate as co-creators with
Him. Unitively, you celebrate G-d in your embrace with
each other in praise and thanks for creating you for her
and her for you and actually finding each other.

When your girlfriend does not even acknowledge G-d
there is no way any sexual union between the two of
you could ever be anything but satisfying lustful desire.

Besides, what you’re basically saying is you love her
enough to go against all that you know about God and
Jesus. But when she tells you to keep your faith to your
yourself, then what does that say about the love she has
for you? She can’t possibly love you if she rejects your
faith.

Perhaps your faith is being tested by meeting this woman.
And perhaps G-d intended for good to come out of this by
your planting the seeds of Truth in this woman. But know
for certain, G-d does not want the two of you to marry if
your future bride rejects Him.

Cut off the sex. See what remains in your relationship.
If it survives then real dialogue can take place about what
each of you expects for your futures and decisions can
be made clearly.

 

[YinYangMom]

film_reilly:

easier said than done…I am sorta trapped because we are planning to move in together in September. We even have most of our furniture in the apartment.

You’re never trapped.
Plans can be changed.
Furniture can be moved.
Stop it.

This is your soul we’re talking about.
You cannot live a ‘married’ life outside the sacrament.
You are living a lie with her by professing to be Catholic
but living as a pagan.

Also, you mentioned interfaith marriages earlier…Wicca is not a religion. Yours would not be an interfaith religion at all. And she could not possibly be expected to honor the vows of a Catholic marriage if she plans to continue her pagan practices.’

Trust me, you can fall in love with people and it doesn’t mean they are meant to be your lifelong partner. They are there to help you realize just what it is you are looking for in that partner. Do not be afraid to walk away from relationships that have warning signals around them. Appreciate the lesson, thank G-d and the person for helping you find clarity and for the good times you shared, then get back out there so you can meet the woman G-d created for you. She’s still out there looking for you. You’re wasting precious time.

 

[YinYangMom]

Petertherock:

I have also had this struggle. There is a girl I am talking to who is not Catholic who has hinted that once she gets to know me she wants the big S word all the time. Since I am 33 years old and have never had a real girlfriend it’s really tempting. However, I am one to always lecture other younger people about how they should wait until they are married before having sex so how would people be able to take me seriously if I didn’t even follow my own advice.

I don’t mind the fact that this woman is not Catholic, however, I have come to the conclusion if a relationship develops I am going to be honest and upfront that unless you are willing to get married then sex is not an option. Will it be hard? Yes. But it’s something I have to do. If she really loves me then she will wait, if she just thinks of me as a cheap thrill then obviously I don’t want her.

Peter, I suggest you start working with her now on re-evaluating just what sex is about. If she agrees to wait until marriage then that’s a good start, but what difference does it make if after you’re married she wants it all the time - but doesn’t want to get pregnant every time. A woman who talks about having ‘lots of sex’ usually is relying on some form of contraception to give her the ‘freedom’ to have it on demand. Plus, just the concept of “having” sex goes against what the true act is all about.

Get a copy of Christopher West’s Theology of the Body Explained.

Get the CD (free) Marriage and the Eucharist from the Mary Foundation.

And visit the Couple to Couple League website.

Share this with any woman you begin to feel may be a viable candidate for marriage. If she welcomes the teachings then you’re getting positive signals to move forward in the relationship. If she rejects them and is unwilling to work through any issues she has with them with you and a priest, then move on.

 

[crusader4life]

film_reilly:

easier said than done…I am sorta trapped because we are planning to move in together in September. We even have most of our furniture in the apartment.

The worse trap you can set up is your own self. Remember Judas and how he thought he was unforgivable? He ended up taking his own life. Out of his dispair he denied God the chance to forgive him and at the same time denied God’s mercy and love. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t dispair!
Know that you can turn back to Him at anytime. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but you have to take up your cross to follow Christ. We all do.

Talk to your girlfriend about this. True love is patient. She should be able to understand why you must remain chaste and live singally until marriage. If she doesn’t respect that…then it’s best that you let go and move on.

I am concerned (as with everyone else here) for you and your soul and we all want to help you and support you! Prayers for you!

 

[Tazgurl21]

YinYangMom:

You’re never trapped.
Plans can be changed.
Furniture can be moved.
Stop it.

This is your soul we’re talking about.
You cannot live a ‘married’ life outside the sacrament.
You are living a lie with her by professing to be Catholic
but living as a pagan.

Also, you mentioned interfaith marriages earlier…Wicca is not a religion. Yours would not be an interfaith religion at all. And she could not possibly be expected to honor the vows of a Catholic marriage if she plans to continue her pagan practices.’

Trust me, you can fall in love with people and it doesn’t mean they are meant to be your lifelong partner. They are there to help you realize just what it is you are looking for in that partner. Do not be afraid to walk away from relationships that have warning signals around them. Appreciate the lesson, thank G-d and the person for helping you find clarity and for the good times you shared, then get back out there so you can meet the woman G-d created for you. She’s still out there looking for you. You’re wasting precious time.

I so agree with this person,

 

[misericordie]

crusader4life:

The worse trap you can set up is your own self. Remember Judas and how he thought he was unforgivable? He ended up taking his own life. Out of his dispair he denied God the chance to forgive him and at the same time denied God’s mercy and love. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t dispair!
Know that you can turn back to Him at anytime. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but you have to take up your cross to follow Christ. We all do.

Talk to your girlfriend about this. True love is patient. She should be able to understand why you must remain chaste and live singally until marriage. If she doesn’t respect that…then it’s best that you let go and move on.

I am concerned (as with everyone else here) for you and your soul and we all want to help you and support you! Prayers for you!

The best advice here yet.

 

[trailblazer]

film_reilly:

easier said than done…I am sorta trapped because we are planning to move in together in September. We even have most of our furniture in the apartment.

Better the loss of girlfriend, furniture, and ego – than loss of God. If you really love her, you would NOT move in with her. If she REALLY loved you, she’s understand. Think about it!!!

Satan is loving your present choice!
http://www.smilieland.com/graphics4/luke12-5.gif

Bob

 

[Celia]

Tazgurl21:

I so agree with this person,

Me too. Awesome post.

 

[Mt19_26]

film_reilly:

Also, when I met her I was not a practicing Catholic so we had sex before marriage, and continue to do so, even though I know its wrong, I dont want to lose her. I really love her and wish she would see the truth. I am thinking of marrying her, but do you think that would be a mistake? How should I try to get her to see the truth?

Please help…

-Chris

Why are you continuing to have sex with her when you know it’s wrong? What kind of message is that sending to her in regards to the Catholic faith? Having sex with someone you are not married to is a mortal sin and if you really love her why would you make her do something that is endangering her soul? You are offending Jesus by having sex with her outside of marraige. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? You should love God more than anything else and if you did you’d never want to do anything that offends Him.

 

[misericordie]

Mt19:26:

Why are you continuing to have sex with her when you know it’s wrong? What kind of message is that sending to her in regards to the Catholic faith? Having sex with someone you are not married to is a mortal sin and if you really love her why would you make her do something that is endangering her soul? You are offending Jesus by having sex with her outside of marraige. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? You should love God more than anything else and if you did you’d never want to do anything that offends Him.

Well put here.

 

[MidnightSun02]

film_reilly:

Hi, my girlfriend is not Catholic, and basically has no real religion. She likes studying about the Feminine Godess and Pagan mythology. I tell her about the truth of Jesus, but she never listens, she tells me to keep my faith to myself unless she asks for it. Also, when I met her I was not a practicing Catholic so we had sex before marriage, and continue to do so, even though I know its wrong, I dont want to lose her. I really love her and wish she would see the truth. I am thinking of marrying her, but do you think that would be a mistake? How should I try to get her to see the truth?

Please help…

-Chris

One of my past boyfriends made an a couple awful comments to me about my Catholic faith. It didn’t take me too long to realize that if he doesn’t respect my beliefs then he obviously can’t respect me as who I am…since I wanted to live my life by the teachings. I dated him for almost three years so it was difficult to finally stand up for myself and realize that the relationship was going NO WHERE.

Ever since we have broken up my spiritual life SOARED. And I am much more content with myself then I ever was in high school.

You think that this is love and you want to believe it is love…the Devil can be a real trickster. After I ended that relationship I have matured so much. Now I have no fear of standing up for my beliefs if someone I am dating makes a comment. However, I will NEVER date anyone that questions my faith anyway.

 

[martino]

MidnightSun02:

One of my past boyfriends made an a couple awful comments to me about my Catholic faith. It didn’t take me too long to realize that if he doesn’t respect my beliefs then he obviously can’t respect me as who I am…since I wanted to live my life by the teachings. I dated him for almost three years so it was difficult to finally stand up for myself and realize that the relationship was going NO WHERE.

Ever since we have broken up my spiritual life SOARED. And I am much more content with myself then I ever was in high school.

You think that this is love and you want to believe it is love…the Devil can be a real trickster. After I ended that relationship I have matured so much. Now I have no fear of standing up for my beliefs if someone I am dating makes a comment. However, I will NEVER date anyone that questions my faith anyway.

What a great example of a Christian not placing more importance on a boyfriend/girlfriend than they place on God!

Sometimes we must examine our lives and remove anything we see that is keeping us from experiencing a deeper faith. If it happens to be your bf or gf then so be it…its not easy like Midnightsun says but it must be done!

May God give you Wisdom and Courage!

 

[StratusRose]

The fastest way to ruin a relationship is by moving in with each other (unless you’re married of course). Look at the statistics. Domestic abuse percentages are higher (not saying you will abuse her, but may she will) break-up rates are higher, and toward the end the couple has lack of respect for each other. Why? Because there is no commitment there. Save yourself the time, energy, and money. (And soul!) No one’s putting a gun to your head to move in. It sounds to me that you know that she may not be the right girl for you but you are having trouble accepting it. I do not blame you for having those feelings. I’ve been there. Now I am with a good Catholic man who shares my faith and my Catholic values. (We’re still working on contraception, but he’s about 75% there!) It’s nice to have a guy who abhors abortion as much as I do, has respect for the Mass, a deep love for Jesus and God and so on… You have no idea how intregal that is to a relationship, in fact, everything is centered around it. When God is not in a relationship, you can forget it. Because you know who’s in the relationship when God’s not there? Yep. You guessed it. Satan.

 

[Lost_Found]

The responses are very wise, and here are some more thoughts.

Once you began to gain insight into HER values, is when YOUR own contrasting faith was awakened. So if you move in with her, your faith feelings will be continue to be intensified, and you will feel terrible about yourself. Your early warning system has already told you this, and that’s why you are checking with us.

The sooner you assert yourself the better. She won’t like that very much and you will see a different side of her once she doesn’t get her own way. So far she does not care that you feel this way and that alone is a big warning.

You have knowingly abused the power of sex with someone you care for, and this has resulted in deeper feelings and commitment than you bargained for.

Tell her friends only or bye-bye, and start to look for someone with a heart that welcomes the teachings of Christ.

(as others alluded, the furniture is like the heavy anchor she is using to hold you to the live-in. Pull up the anchor and you will sail away and start to re-gain the freedom of mind.)

 

[Asking]

I think he can marry her as long as she agrees with the church on contraception and lets you raise the children in the catholic church.

But it would anyway stil be problematic, your kids would ask you things like, will mom go to hell? why doesnt she care about jesus?

better marry a catholic, or at least a christian

 

[wcknight]

Get her a miraculous medal, have it blessed, and have her wear or carry it with her for at least one year. Our Lady has promised great healings and conversions with its use. Pray and ask the Lord for her conversion. You will not be disappointed.

wc