My Girlfriend's Struggle

[jason1983]

Hello All,

This is my first post so hopefully it is in the right place and it makes sense. My girlfriend recently asked my why God hates her so much. See she was recently diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) about a year ago and many days she has difficulty with pain and other things bother her like twitching of the arms and face and sometimes she tends to slur her speech. I have no idea what to tell and was hoping for a little help. Since she asked me that, its all i have been able to think about is how to get her to realize its not a punishment.

Thank You and God Bless,

Jason

 

[Eucharisted]

God gives sufferings to souls so He can use it to heal them of the evil in their hearts, to save them from Hell, and to bring out of suffering a greater good than they would have enjoyed without suffering.

 

[AliciaCL]

You might try this. Fr. Jonathan Morris has written a book entitled “The Promise: God’s Purpose and Plan When Life Hurts.” I have not read it but I’ve seen Fr. Morris as a commentator on EWTN and on Fox News many times and he seems to be a very dedicated and learned good priest. He is or was a liaison to US news organizations from the Vatican.

Also, there’s the detailed Apostolic Letter by John Paul II on redemptive suffering: Savifici Doloris, which may be helpful for one who is suffering to find purpose in thier discomfort.

vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_11021984_salvifici-doloris_en.html

 

[Em_in_FL]

I am so sorry to hear that your girlfriend is suffering from this horrible disease.
Tell her to rest assured that God did not cause this to happen to her. He desires her to be healthy and happy and full of life. God did not create a world filled with pain and suffering - He created a perfect world, free from all evil. Pain and suffering came into this world when Sin entered. Sin is the stain of all that is bad and wrong. Your girlfriend’s illness is a result of that Original Sin in the world. It’s horrible and God wants nothing more than to see her fully healed. God will, however, use this time of pain and suffering to draw her closer to Him, if she lets Him. Remind her that Jesus sacrificed His life for us all on the cross - and that she can unite her pain and suffering with Christ’s and offer up her pain and suffering for the sake of others.
God loves your girlfriend very much… remind her of that. And continue to pray for her.

 

[Miserissima]

God gives sufferings to souls so He can use it to heal them of the evil in their hearts, to save them from Hell, and to bring out of suffering a greater good than they would have enjoyed without suffering.

First, God doesn’t *give *trials, but He *allows *them, for the reasons Eucharisted mentions above. Additionally, He allows suffering of individuals not only to “heal them of the evil in their hearts, [and] to save them from Hell,” but to offer the merits of their suffering for others. Such perople are called “victim souls” and play a large part in Redemptive Suffering by their trials.

Questioning faith is one of the things we do when faced with tragedy and pain. Perhaps she may find comfort in the book of Habakkuk?

 

[IronicCatholic]

I’m so sorry your girlfriend is dealing with this difficult disease. You are right, it is not a punishment. But how to communicate that t her?

If she hasn’t, I would encourage her, even take her, to receive the sacramental anointing of the sick. It is a sacrament of healing, and if physical healing is not in God’s plan, spiritual healing always is. Once when I was very ill with a serious disease a priest asked me “Do you truly want to grow closer to God, no matter what?” After I thought and said yes, he said, “Then God will draw you to him, either through healing your disease, or giving you the strength and peace to bear it through Him.” It’s a hard call, but it has born fruit in ways I never could have dreamed. God is good, and used this awful disease to make me radically aware of that.

I realize not everyone on the forum will be gung ho about this, but I was helped by a sound Catholic Charismatic community as well. Regular prayer with others for healing (we all need healing!), and trusting the Holy Spirit, is a radical power and a lifeline we don’t even realize we need. So if there is a community near where you all live, I would contact them for advice or just visit. If there is no community, reading this book by Barbara Shlemon Ryan could be a help:
amazon.com/Healing-Prayer-Spiritual-Pathways-Wellness/dp/1569552622/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243437463&sr=1-2

May the peace of God be with you both.

 

[Felicity_in_TX]

I’m so sorry that your girlfriend is suffering from such a terrible disease. It is wonderful that you care so much for her; I’m sure you’re a great source of comfort and strength.

My boyfriend has been going through some very difficult things lately. His sufferings are more related to trauma and stress, but like your girlfriend he is experiencing a crisis of faith. We talk alot about why God allows trials and pain to come into our lives. Though we haven’t really “figured it out”, I think it helps him to just talk about what he’s going through. There are a few verses that we often refer to when one or both of us is feeling particularly “down”:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. - Romans 5:3-5

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. - Revelation 21:4

I will say a prayer for your girlfriend and for you. I know how difficult it is to love some one who is suffering greatly. Whatever happens, remember that you must keep your faith strong. It’s easy to fall into despair when a loved one does so, but I believe that it’s possible for one person’s faith to help carry another person through difficut times. Hopefully the situation will improve and your girlfriend’s faith will be restored. In the meantime, pray for her without ceasing and encourage her in any way that you can. God bless!

 

[jason1983]

Thank You all so much and for all the responses I greatly appreciate it and God Bless you all

 

[Rascalking]

Jason-

Remember to let her speak to you about it without yelling at her or judging her. She needs your support, and let her go through the phases of doubt and faith.

Where is God when it hurts is also a good book. I forget the author…

We’ll pray for you guys!