My good friend is apparently gay. Suggestions?

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kage_ar said:
I think for practicing Catholics, Catholics who have had their Sacraments, who attend Mass every week and HDO, who go to Confession at least once per year, who receive the Eucharist at least once per year, who observe the laws on fasting and abstaining form meat, and who support the Church with time/talent/treasure the percentage is far below 80%.

I think that for non-practicing, fallen away Catholics it is very high.
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Undoubtedly. I agree.
 
Petaters said:
Hello, first post here on the forums.

I suppose you could say I’m in the “average” California public school environment, probama, gay straight alliance posters gracing the halls, etc. I’ve made many friends this swim season, and met a real nice, rather quiet guy i have a lot in common with (both into animation, coding, videogames). I’ve gotten to enjoy his company, conversation flows, as I said, we’ve got tons in common. Anyway, on the bus home from a swimmeet today, he began telling us about another senior he’s interested in, a guy. Which came as a blow to me. Due to the encouragement of homosexuality in the area we’re in, i fear talking to him would have no effect, or even dampen our friendship. But I’d really hate to see him mess his life up like that, and possibly this other senior’s (I’m a junior, no qualms about him being interested in me, he knows I’m straight anyway). Is prayer all I can do? If so, it’d be nice to know more prayers than just mine are heading God’s way.

Thanks,

taters
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with all do respect …the pope cannot speak in the name of God!! why do you not see this, one man cannot possibly say what is right and wrong,so what if the guy is gay? will he burn in hell for it? willl it make him a bad person? please think for yourself for once, y would changing your natural likingss make u bad, my gf is bi and i know some gay friends they re great people all offem!!! some of them much much better of heart then most straight men, so tell me again, did our friend Jesus ever said it was wrong? that tehy dd burn in hell for it? no he din’t!!! so jssssssss
 
kage_ar said:
I think for practicing Catholics, Catholics who have had their Sacraments, who attend Mass every week and HDO, who go to Confession at least once per year, who receive the Eucharist at least once per year, who observe the laws on fasting and abstaining form meat, and who support the Church with time/talent/treasure the percentage is far below 80%.

I think that for non-practicing, fallen away Catholics it is very high.
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I knew plenty of allegedly practicing Catholics in college who followed Lenten regulations but didn’t go to Mass often, didn’t go to Confession and CERTAINLY didn’t care about following teachings on sex. Heck, I know a number of Catholics from my old hometown who do go to Mass every week and are unmarried parents these days. I know the temptation is great, but I mean come on!

As far as the percentage using ABC, who really knows? I’d say it’s likely 80-85% among “self-identifying Catholics” in America and probably still around 50% for those who go to Mass every week. Frankly, I don’t even think many are fully aware of the teachings on birth control.
 
Petaters said:
I’ve gotten to enjoy his company, conversation flows, as I said, we’ve got tons in common. Anyway, on the bus home from a swimmeet today, he began telling us about another senior he’s interested in, a guy.
taters
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what do you do when your straight friends start talking about girls they are interested in esp. when the talk gets into what they do or plan to do or brag about doing sexually.

you have to worry about your own spiritual health before you can help anybody else. you have to think about who you are, how you present yourself as a follower of Christ, before you can speak out, or know when to keep silent.

my point is nobody in jr hi or HS should know who is what orientation because they should not be talking about sex much less doing it, and even if somebody is doing it, it is not a topic for general conversation with casual friends on the bus. This is normal etiquette as much as morality. Yes despite my age I don’t live in a cave, I know more about teen life today than I want to, including things that would curl parents’ hair (they are usually much more easily shocked than are grandparents). You decide, how much will you let the culture run your life?
 
When you have friends you help and support them, but there is a fine balance. I personally do not know the strength or details of your friendship so in general I would say be supportive, and don’t come off as a jerk. However you’d like to interpret that is up to you.
 
“if you become pushy with morality, then you’re doing more harm than good. because you just put off someone from hearing the Word of God.”

-Sorry, but it is the moral duty of every Christian to state the Truth. Elegant or not, the Truth does speak for itself. Sharing the Word of God is not “putting someone off” unless they choose the path that leads to damnation.

This moral relativism that pervades this forum and everyone in general in society never ceases to shock me.
Not telling people what is right and wrong is exactly why so many states have “domestic partnerships” or outright gay marriage nowadays.
And trust me people, the more you hide your head in the sand the worse and worse society is going to get.
 
anmend43 said:
“if you become pushy with morality, then you’re doing more harm than good. because you just put off someone from hearing the Word of God.”

-Sorry, but it is the moral duty of every Christian to state the Truth. Elegant or not, the Truth does speak for itself. Sharing the Word of God is not “putting someone off” unless they choose the path that leads to damnation.

This moral relativism that pervades this forum and everyone in general in society never ceases to shock me.
Not telling people what is right and wrong is exactly why so many states have “domestic partnerships” or outright gay marriage nowadays.
And trust me people, the more you hide your head in the sand the worse and worse society is going to get.
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Here’s a little metaphor to help make my previous position clearer. When removing a tooth, it is best done with a steady hand and mind, rather than a closed fist and mind.
 
anmend43 said:
“if you become pushy with morality, then you’re doing more harm than good. because you just put off someone from hearing the Word of God.”

-Sorry, but it is the moral duty of every Christian to state the Truth. Elegant or not, the Truth does speak for itself. Sharing the Word of God is not “putting someone off” unless they choose the path that leads to damnation.

This moral relativism that pervades this forum and everyone in general in society never ceases to shock me.
Not telling people what is right and wrong is exactly why so many states have “domestic partnerships” or outright gay marriage nowadays.
And trust me people, the more you hide your head in the sand the worse and worse society is going to get.
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i don’t think he shouldn’t say anything at all, he just shouldn’t bring it up first… to me thats just being smart in high school

plus, saying “hey, i have something to tell you, you are living a depraved lifestyle be the way” is going to do everything except bring his friend to God. I hope that the poster will have the courage to say the truth when asked, but there is absolutely no reason to bring something like that up. i don’t consider that moral relativism
lynx said:
Here’s a little metaphor to help make my previous position clearer. When removing a tooth, it is best done with a steady hand and mind, rather than a closed fist and mind.
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This is so true. 👍

This is my impression from when I was on the other side (secular): I remember every time my Christian friends tried to push their “backward” morality on me and it made me hate Christ that much more. 😦 It never worked, not even a little bit, it always had the opposite effect on me. Especially when I debated with them and they spit pure hatred at me.

But I also remember how despite our differences they always treated me with Christian charity, and I’m glad they never compromised their position.
 
Remain his friend but be a “disinterested friend”. What that means is be a friend but do not show interest or support of his gravely disordered view of sexuality, homosexual inclinations. If he brings up homosexuality around you, calmly and politely show him what the Church teaches about it.
 
the_hazel_nut said:
First of all, make sure you are really well versed on the arguments from the catholic church against gay marriage etc. in case you need to defend it.

Second of all, remember this: yes, this friend of yours is living in a way considered to be mortal sin by the catholic church. But how many of your friends have committed other mortal sins, like sex outside of marriage and masturbation? Homosexuality is just everyone’s favorite sin to talk about right now. Don’t think of him any differently than you would your other friends who are undoubtedly doing those other things.

.
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What a refreshing response, I was pleased to come across it. I was also pleased to see how consistent you are.
👍
 
Zatzat said:
What a refreshing response, I was pleased to come across it. I was also pleased to see how consistent you are.
👍
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Mortal sin is mortal sin.It separates oneself from God and the possibility of Salvation.If I as a Divorced Catholic do not remain chaste accordind to my station in life,and have sexual intercourse with a woman,I am no more or no less culpable than some-one who suffers from same-sex attraction who does the same.We are BOTH called to chastity as difficult as that may be.The wide road and the narrow road and all that.
 
Mortal sin is mortal sin.It separates oneself from God and the possibility of Salvation.If I as a Divorced Catholic do not remain chaste accordind to my station in life,and have sexual intercourse with a woman,I am no more or no less culpable than some-one who suffers from same-sex attraction who does the same.We are BOTH called to chastity as difficult as that may be.The wide road and the narrow road and all that.
 
lynx said:
Here’s a little metaphor to help make my previous position clearer. When removing a tooth, it is best done with a steady hand and mind, rather than a closed fist and mind.
Click to expand...
you say this as it is a bad thing? this gay mairrage.if 2 people love eachther dearly lan and woman, what would God or father and friend have agaisnt it for he is love himself? its kinda a paradox wouldn’t you say,gaymairage will not create choas or evil, murder rape ,homoside, and wars will…love is love my friend …love cannot be evil, if love be evil ,then so is our God ,i know he isn’t…love is no cause of going to hell wheter its male or female bisexual or gay
 
Livaiduis said:
you say this as it is a bad thing? this gay mairrage.if 2 people love eachther dearly lan and woman, what would God or father and friend have agaisnt it for he is love himself? its kinda a paradox wouldn’t you say,gaymairage will not create choas or evil, murder rape ,homoside, and wars will…love is love my friend …love cannot be evil, if love be evil ,then so is our God ,i know he isn’t…love is no cause of going to hell wheter its male or female bisexual or gay
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The Bible isn’t a novel,nor a work of fiction.Please read Leviticus.Also Holy Tradition the equal of Holy Scripture teaches through the magisterium that homosexual genital relations are sinful.Homosexual,or same-sex attractedness is not sinful however the acting out of those attractions in a physical manner is.All those(including me)who are not married to a member of the opposite sex are called to chastity.
I am sure that the religion that you refer to as"my own"permits physical expression of homosexual love;ours does not.So why sweat it?Why would you care how we practise our Faith?We will both answer to God how we practised it.We submit to the Truth of Jesus Christ and Holy Scripture;you submit to the truth of your feelings and convictions.I’m comfortable with my choice,are you with yours?

God will judge us-not you-not me.But please remember God is not the reflection you see in your bathroom mirror.
 
Livaiduis said:
you say this as it is a bad thing? this gay mairrage.if 2 people love eachther dearly lan and woman, what would God or father and friend have agaisnt it for he is love himself? its kinda a paradox wouldn’t you say,gaymairage will not create choas or evil, murder rape ,homoside, and wars will…love is love my friend …love cannot be evil, if love be evil ,then so is our God ,i know he isn’t…love is no cause of going to hell wheter its male or female bisexual or gay
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Hrmm. I’m not 100% sure of what you’re saying. What I was stating is that there are correct and incorrect usages of spreading the word of God. One must choose his tools wisely or else you are at fault for helping to turn away a potential believer.
 
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