My grandfather went to a nursing home, family extremely upset

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Belle10

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Hi everyone.

Yesterday my family had to bring my grandfather to a nursing home. :crying: He has Alzheimer’s and many health issues now, and my grandmother and family simply can’t care for him at home anymore. (In fact, we’re suspecting my grandmother may be in the early stages of Alzheimer’s as well. 😦 ) It’s breaking all of our hearts, so prayers for comfort and reassurance in this decision would be much appreciated. Also, of course, prayers for my grandfather, Fred, that God will not let him become lonely and will have mercy on Him.

Thank you, and God bless all of you who pray for others (whether you post them or not) in this place.
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God:
Pray for us, sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
Belle10:

I’m praying for your grandfather Fred and your whole family.

Prayerfully,

Renato
 
I feel you, my grandmother had Alzheimers as well. It was such a tough situation to go through, but eventually it was the best thing we could do to put her in a Nursing Home, although at the time we didn’t feel to good about it. The first 30 days were really hard because they usually don’t allow any visitors so that the person can become adjusted to the environment, but after that we visited her everyday she was never left alone. We took her out once in awhile to our houses, out to eat, Mass etc…Even at the end we brought her home and she was surrounded by all her children and most of her grandchildren when she surrendered her spirit to Jesus.

I’ll pray for you and your family

God Bless all you do in the name of Jesus!
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
Praying for your grandfather Fred. This is such a trying disease on the family members of the affected person.
 
Belle, my Dad was advised that it was best to put my stepmother into a nursing home while she still had the capacity to view it as home. He had some doubts, but he was advised that it was best for her.
May God help you all through this emotional time, but be consoled it was really the only practical decision. The family’s welfare is important also.

Hopefully your grandmother is just being a little forgetful due to the stress.

Bless you and your family, Belle
:grouphug:
 
I’m so sorry to hear that Belle. You, your grandfather, and your family all have my prayers. :signofcross: :gopray2:
 
**Isn’t there a scripture which says something like **“they will put a cord around your waist and take you where you do not want to go”?

**Nursing homes are a very controversial subject. By the time a person gets sent there they most likely need to be there. I have seen many persons adjust and become happy with their new home. I have seen others go through a period of great upheaval with their emotions and even though confused become angry and belligerant. Yet those who care for their loved ones at home take on a very grave responsibility. Some have in-home nursing care, some have palliative or hospice in-home care, some do not have the resources to adequately take care of their aged loved ones. An exceptional nursing home can do wonders for folks in their last times. A mediocre one can be a disaster. “Choose wisely”, says the old Templar Knight in the “Indiana Jones” grail movie. So how do you know which nursing home is the best? Most non-profit or not-for-profit ones run by a particular denomination seem to be the best in my opinion. Also check the State’s Health Inspection report which should be available to all visitors. Check with those who have loved ones there or have had them there in the past. Check for evidence of non-cleanliness or odors coming from the resident. Be alert.

Yet a good nursing residence can be the best place for invalids as they have state mandated programs for worthwhile activities and often music therapy or music programs. I have seen many folks do the best they can and become resonably happy in the home. Most retirement communities are very expensive. Yet with folks living longer they are a necessity nowadays. And remember, some day you might be there too. Old age and dying are a part of life. Be a volunteer and bring some sunshine and hope for others - make a difference in peoples’ lives. Visit old folks for as long as you can. Alzheimers is a progressive illness which is debilitating and leads to death. Yet many good nursing homes uplift the person, one at a time, and treat all with dignity and respect. Final tip: Try to find a place which has a Music Therapist on staff or hires one as an itinerant. They do wonders with Alzheimer residents.
And lastly, pray that you are not put to the test. Maintain your dignity, keep the faith, and know that when they die you have done all that you could, and they will be in a better place.**

How do I know all this? I am a Music Therapist specializing in the senior care population. I work with them every day and as a Franciscan have an opportunity to share God’s love with them through the gift and clinical training of music therapy, give them hope, calm them, inspire them and stimulate them spiritually, emotionally, cognitively, socially, and culturally. That is my calling and that is what I do.
 
For your Grandparents and the family…

Our Father, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
J†M†J
I will ask our Mother and Queen to pray for you and your intentions…

God Bless
In Jesus through Mary
Steve
 
My mother has alzheimer’s and right now is living with my sister-in-law as I work and she is a stay-at-home. Eventually, my mother will need either assisted living or a nursing home. she is now in Stage 6 (I think); she eats great, can walk, but very slow. She doesn’t know anyone or her surroundings - she just does what she is told like a child. As she is still manageable now, the time is approaching when she will need to be put in a home. This is so awful to think about because no one ever in our family has been placed in a home, but then again, alzheimer’s wasn’t in my family’s past. I will feel very guilty dropping her off and leaving and beg my brothers to be there with me when the time comes. There is an assisted living ($5,000 a month) near my house, and a nursing home on my corner ($10,000 a month) - and then when mom’s money runs out, it’s getting her on medicaid which will be a major nightmare. I worry about this all the time and feel bad that I don’t care for her. Please pray for me too. maryann
 
Thank you all for your prayers and suggestions, our family appreciates your kindness very much!

Maryann, prayers for your family as well. :crossrc:

Yesterday the nursing home told my aunt that my grandfather doesn’t need the level of care there (he’s not as physically ill as many, the Alzheimer’s is the biggest reason he needs care). So, they will be moving him to a great place that has more of a “home” atmosphere (as opposed to the hospital-like feel of the nursing home) on Monday. There he will be able to look out on the Hudson River and see the boats and they have some social activities too that hopefully he can participate in. Despite the Alzheimer’s, his disposition has remained so sweet and lovable (which has been a blessing for us!) so hopefully this will be a better fit for his needs.

Thanks again everyone – I’m always touched by the willingness of strangers to pray for others in need. :crying: :grouphug:
 
Again, thank you all for your prayers. An update:

Because they were going to move my grandfather from the nursing home to the other assisted living place, he was home for the weekend, supposed to go to this new place Monday (yesterday). But Saturday night he was complaining of a headache so my Mom, Dad, and brother went to check on him and his blood pressure was like 250/150!!! They called 911 and he was taken to the hospital and it was found that he has a bleed in his brain (he’s had these before, and actually underwent brain surgery for 2 clots at age 80). They said this time it’s inoperable (not that he’d be able to handle brain surgery again anyway). They determined that he has a brain aneurysm (my Mom had one rupture a few years ago, thankfully she was miraculously saved with no long term problems). My Mom and her siblings and my grandmother have decided at this point it is best to let nature take its course and not attempt brain surgery.

I’m just praying that God will have mercy on him and not let him suffer much more. The Alzheimer’s makes it so hard – but the funny thing is that the best part of him, my sweet Pop-Pop, is still there. Saturday morning we were visiting him and my grandmother and having breakfast and my DD was whining for something and I was telling her to ask nicely, say please, etc. My grandfather said to my Mom, “She’s such a good mother, teaching her the right things to say, helping her learn.” For him to put the idea and the words together and get them out was surprising. It made me so happy and so sad for all that we’ve lost because of this disease.

On top of all this, my husband still hasn’t found a job which is trapping me in one that I loathe. I feel called to be home with our daughter but can’t be, and my all-day morning sickness is making everything that much harder to bear. :crying:

I’m sorry to keep asking for prayers, but I don’t know what else to do. :o 😦 Thank you all for any prayers you can offer, they are truly appreciated. :grouphug:
 
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