My Grandmother Hates Me For Being Catholic

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The_Holy_War_11

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I live with my SDA grandmother who hates Catholics. She literally hates me now that I’ve converted. She is always mean to me now, she never says anything nice, she never tries to help me with anything these days, and one morning when I said “Why are you being so mean!?” she says “Wow!” in a sarcastic voice. She doesn’t respect my Sabbath, but she makes me respect hers. She is always bashing Catholics, but if I say anything in defense I am silenced immediately. She makes me hate Adventists. She is ruining my life! My dad has so much work to do that I can’t live with him all the time. I haven’t done anything/said anything to her about her heresies, but she is constantly speaking sharply to me, or giving me cold looks. Sorry for wasting your time, I needed to let off some steam.
 
The_Holy_War_11 said:
I live with my SDA grandmother who hates Catholics. She literally hates me now that I’ve converted. She is always mean to me now, she never says anything nice, she never tries to help me with anything these days, and one morning when I said “Why are you being so mean!?” she says “Wow!” in a sarcastic voice. She doesn’t respect my Sabbath, but she makes me respect hers. She is always bashing Catholics, but if I say anything in defense I am silenced immediately. She makes me hate Adventists. She is ruining my life! My dad has so much work to do that I can’t live with him all the time. I haven’t done anything/said anything to her about her heresies, but she is constantly speaking sharply to me, or giving me cold looks. Sorry for wasting your time, I needed to let off some steam.
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Just pray for her. Thats all you can do. And try to be the best example of your faith, by being respectful and loving her.

Remember what God says to love someone that loves you, what reward is in that. But to love someone who shows you hate. Now thats Gods way!
 
Just hang in there! You’re making treasure in heaven by suffering for Christ!

You might also (respectfully) ask her if her attitude reflects her version of Christ, and that it certainly doesn’t to you.
 
The_Holy_War_11 said:
I live with my SDA grandmother who hates Catholics. She literally hates me now that I’ve converted. She is always mean to me now, she never says anything nice, she never tries to help me with anything these days, and one morning when I said “Why are you being so mean!?” she says “Wow!” in a sarcastic voice. She doesn’t respect my Sabbath, but she makes me respect hers. She is always bashing Catholics, but if I say anything in defense I am silenced immediately. She makes me hate Adventists. She is ruining my life! My dad has so much work to do that I can’t live with him all the time. I haven’t done anything/said anything to her about her heresies, but she is constantly speaking sharply to me, or giving me cold looks. Sorry for wasting your time, I needed to let off some steam.
Click to expand...
(Matthew 10:32-39) 32*“Everyone, then, that confesses union with me before men, I will also confess union with him before my Father who is in the heavens; 33but whoever disowns me before men, I will also disown him before my Father who is in the heavens. 34Do not think I came to put peace upon the earth; I came to put, not peace, but a sword. 35For I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a young wife against her mother-in-law. 36Indeed, a man’s enemies will be persons of his own household. 37He that has greater affection for father or mother than for me is not worthy of me; and he that has greater affection for son or daughter than for me is not worthy of me. 38And whoever does not accept his torture stake and follow after me is not worthy of me. 39*He that finds his soul will lose it, and he that loses his soul for my sake will find it.
 
My advice is to offer the suffering of it up for her conversion. That way the suffering will constantly remind you to love her.
 
You don’t say how old you are, but assuming you are at least 18 and a HS graduate, maybe you should consider moving out. A little distancing might make things easier.
I think for those of us that are older it is especially difficult to accept change.

Pray for your grandmother and remember that the best way to evangelize your faith is by example. Reflect God’s grace and let her see what a better and happier person you have become.
 
I’d ask her: was Our Lord mean towards the prostitutes? Did he send off the lepers?

Now my main point would be to ask her “who founded your church?”. Ellen Gould White would be the answer to that. But she is your Grandmother, and not a stranger, so I’d sit down and ask her “why do you hate me?”. The best thing to do is to pray, however talking to her about it would help a lot.
 
Pray or Educate.

Pray on your own time, I’d educate her.
Most of the hate is ignorance based.

My mom was the same way, asking such questions like,
“You do know that Catholics don’t believe Jesus is the son of God” and
“They worship the statues” and
“Works won’t get you to Heaven, just Faith”.
and “the Bible is the Word of God”, implying that the Bible is all
that Protestants need to discern scripture. But here is
what Catholics have to say about that.

I got this book,
What Catholics Really Believe–Setting the Record Straight: 52 Answers to Common Misconceptions about the Catholic Faith
Read it first, take notes, then leave it out as if by accident, and just let her come up on it by chance, maybe on the floor,
spread open to an area that she accuses you of daily as “Lies of the Catholic Church”. With my mom, I just showed her
the Contents and asked her which ones were the ones that she disagreed with. It’s been 4 days now, and she hasn’t put
the book down. Yesterday she asked me for one of my Catholic Bibles, (I have a big one for home, and a smaller compact
carry one) cause she wanted to read those 7 books that the Protestants dropped from the Original Bible.

I’d get these CD’s from Light House Media
they are people who’ve dealt with Protestants both by being a Protestant,
and what it was that won them over, and how they related it to others so
that they could stop the BS.

I have an iPod with these rechargeable speakers that I play near my Mom’s radio, when she goes to the bathroom,
I turn the radio off(she listens to that American Family Radio all they do on here is complain, mostly about homosexuals,
I have never heard anything positive from them) and set the speakers behind it, and push play, then she comes back
and sits on the couch reading her crotchet and recipe books, while it is blaring, I don’t know if she is listening to it,
or has it playing hoping that I overhear it and am “blessed” by it’s message. I basically do the same to her, maybe it
won’t penetrate her thick skull in the beginning, but maybe the 2nd or 3rd time, she will notice that it is beginning
to sound repetitive, thinking that she might be a prophet with a spiritual gift for knowing the future (as most Protestants
I have encountered claim) and then begins to listen attentively.

I’d call that a Reverse Psychology Blessing.
Hail, play it while she sleeps, maybe she
will have dreams about it. (Is this Brain-Washing?)

I think also, maybe that she doesn’t Fear God,
and real Faith begins with real Fear, so I’d buy
some good old Catholic Exorcist movies, to
educate her that it is only Catholic Priests who
possess this power to cast out demons, and that
Protestants if anything just pray for deliverance
and never solve the problem. I have the DVD’s:
the Exorcist, the Rite, and Stigmata.
(Play them while she sleeps,
let her dream about those, yes!)

Also get this book, An Exorcist Tells His Story
just because of what it talks about. Two things people
are interested in, Sex and Mysterious things. Leave it
out for her to find, of course you’d have to be gone for
her to look at it, she has that whole pride thing and will
not want to admit defeat in front of you. But that’s not
your point, that’s her mentality. She has to be right,
that’s what Protestants do, they are Proud Protesters.
Pride, one of the seven deadly sins.
 
I’m sorry that must be very difficult for you. Just pray and be respectful. I know you can’t live with your Dad full time, but have you tried talking to him about your Grandmother’s attitude towards you? Perhaps he could intervene and let her know that she is really hurting you.
 
SusansChoice said:
You don’t say how old you are, but assuming you are at least 18 and a HS graduate, maybe you should consider moving out. A little distancing might make things easier.
I think for those of us that are older it is especially difficult to accept change.

Pray for your grandmother and remember that the best way to evangelize your faith is by example. Reflect God’s grace and let her see what a better and happier person you have become.
Click to expand...
I’m under 16 above 12 so I can’t move out.
 
Catholic_Prime said:
Pray or Educate.

Pray on your own time, I’d educate her.
Most of the hate is ignorance based.

My mom was the same way, asking such questions like,
“You do know that Catholics don’t believe Jesus is the son of God” and
“They worship the statues” and
“Works won’t get you to Heaven, just Faith”.
and “the Bible is the Word of God”, implying that the Bible is all
that Protestants need to discern scripture. But here is
what Catholics have to say about that.

I got this book,
What Catholics Really Believe–Setting the Record Straight: 52 Answers to Common Misconceptions about the Catholic Faith
Read it first, take notes, then leave it out as if by accident, and just let her come up on it by chance, maybe on the floor,
spread open to an area that she accuses you of daily as “Lies of the Catholic Church”. With my mom, I just showed her
the Contents and asked her which ones were the ones that she disagreed with. It’s been 4 days now, and she hasn’t put
the book down. Yesterday she asked me for one of my Catholic Bibles, (I have a big one for home, and a smaller compact
carry one) cause she wanted to read those 7 books that the Protestants dropped from the Original Bible.

I’d get these CD’s from Light House Media
they are people who’ve dealt with Protestants both by being a Protestant,
and what it was that won them over, and how they related it to others so
that they could stop the BS.

I have an iPod with these rechargeable speakers that I play near my Mom’s radio, when she goes to the bathroom,
I turn the radio off(she listens to that American Family Radio all they do on here is complain, mostly about homosexuals,
I have never heard anything positive from them) and set the speakers behind it, and push play, then she comes back
and sits on the couch reading her crotchet and recipe books, while it is blaring, I don’t know if she is listening to it,
or has it playing hoping that I overhear it and am “blessed” by it’s message. I basically do the same to her, maybe it
won’t penetrate her thick skull in the beginning, but maybe the 2nd or 3rd time, she will notice that it is beginning
to sound repetitive, thinking that she might be a prophet with a spiritual gift for knowing the future (as most Protestants
I have encountered claim) and then begins to listen attentively.

I’d call that a Reverse Psychology Blessing.
Hail, play it while she sleeps, maybe she
will have dreams about it. (Is this Brain-Washing?)

I think also, maybe that she doesn’t Fear God,
and real Faith begins with real Fear, so I’d buy
some good old Catholic Exorcist movies, to
educate her that it is only Catholic Priests who
possess this power to cast out demons, and that
Protestants if anything just pray for deliverance
and never solve the problem. I have the DVD’s:
the Exorcist, the Rite, and Stigmata.
(Play them while she sleeps,
let her dream about those, yes!)

Also get this book, An Exorcist Tells His Story
just because of what it talks about. Two things people
are interested in, Sex and Mysterious things. Leave it
out for her to find, of course you’d have to be gone for
her to look at it, she has that whole pride thing and will
not want to admit defeat in front of you. But that’s not
your point, that’s her mentality. She has to be right,
that’s what Protestants do, they are Proud Protesters.
Pride, one of the seven deadly sins.
Click to expand...
Ha ok…but she doesn’t want to hear my side. I’m not an Adventist, so my views on religion are automatically wrong.
 
Oh, Holy War…I hear you…I hear you. Would you like me to pray for your grandma?

Follow the example of Jesus Christ and the Saints, just keep your mouth shut and serve her with love.

When my mom first made me go with her to her SDA church, I resisted but that got me nowhere. Then I was reading something on St. Edith Stein. It said that even when she converted, her mom still made her go to the synagogue with her. She went, but it was all meaningless. Next time you go to church with your grandma, pray with St. Edith.
 
I’m sorry this has happened. I know it’s probably impossible to know this emotionally but try to at least mentally understand that your grandmother is acting out of hurt and fear.

This obviously hurts you because you need your grandmother and now she is not there for you like she was before. I hope you get that kind of love and support from your father when you do see him.

In the mean time, as hard as it is, be loving and respectful to your grandmother. As others have said, offer up your suffering for her conversion. Be the good Catholic your grandmother doesn’t believe in. Don’t be the bad example of Catholicism that your grandmother probably thinks is the norm. I don’t know if you were raised SDA but your grandmother most likely sees your new Faith as a rejection of her. Show appreciation for all that she does for you.

Understand that words are not going to do much to change her opinion of Catholics. But your attitude and actions may eventually soften her opinion towards you and your Church. Be respectful at all times even if you don’t receive the same courtesy. Try to avoid accusing your grandmother of being wrong (even if she is) but don’t be afraid to say, “I feel hurt.” (Never say, “You hurt me.” Always take responsibility for your feelings rather than directly telling another she is the cause.)
 
LoyalViews said:
I’d ask her: was Our Lord mean towards the prostitutes? Did he send off the lepers?

Now my main point would be to ask her “who founded your church?”. Ellen Gould White would be the answer to that. But she is your Grandmother, and not a stranger, so I’d sit down and ask her “why do you hate me?”. The best thing to do is to pray, however talking to her about it would help a lot.
Click to expand...
I agree with ur points of relating how Jesus taught us to treat others, but see a problem mentioning prostitutes. The grandmother is already being mean to her, am assuming its a her, and mentioning prostitutes will give the gradma more ammo to fling at the poor kid. I suggest holy artwork in the OP’s house. Praying the rosary out load may also help.

On what issues do SDA differ from Catholics? Does the main body of SDA hold the catholic church in the same regard as the grandma?
 
Honestly, it sounds to me like the OP is living in a very abusive situation. This isn’t just about religious differences, it is abuse.

OP, why can’t you live with your parents?
 
Catholic_Prime said:
Pray or Educate.

Pray on your own time, I’d educate her.
Most of the hate is ignorance based.

My mom was the same way, asking such questions like,
“You do know that Catholics don’t believe Jesus is the son of God” and
“They worship the statues” and
“Works won’t get you to Heaven, just Faith”.
and “the Bible is the Word of God”, implying that the Bible is all
that Protestants need to discern scripture. But here is
what Catholics have to say about that.

I got this book,
What Catholics Really Believe–Setting the Record Straight: 52 Answers to Common Misconceptions about the Catholic Faith
Read it first, take notes, then leave it out as if by accident, and just let her come up on it by chance, maybe on the floor,
spread open to an area that she accuses you of daily as “Lies of the Catholic Church”. With my mom, I just showed her
the Contents and asked her which ones were the ones that she disagreed with. It’s been 4 days now, and she hasn’t put
the book down. Yesterday she asked me for one of my Catholic Bibles, (I have a big one for home, and a smaller compact
carry one) cause she wanted to read those 7 books that the Protestants dropped from the Original Bible.

I’d get these CD’s from Light House Media
they are people who’ve dealt with Protestants both by being a Protestant,
and what it was that won them over, and how they related it to others so
that they could stop the BS.

I have an iPod with these rechargeable speakers that I play near my Mom’s radio, when she goes to the bathroom,
I turn the radio off(she listens to that American Family Radio all they do on here is complain, mostly about homosexuals,
I have never heard anything positive from them) and set the speakers behind it, and push play, then she comes back
and sits on the couch reading her crotchet and recipe books, while it is blaring, I don’t know if she is listening to it,
or has it playing hoping that I overhear it and am “blessed” by it’s message. I basically do the same to her, maybe it
won’t penetrate her thick skull in the beginning, but maybe the 2nd or 3rd time, she will notice that it is beginning
to sound repetitive, thinking that she might be a prophet with a spiritual gift for knowing the future (as most Protestants
I have encountered claim) and then begins to listen attentively.

I’d call that a Reverse Psychology Blessing.
Hail, play it while she sleeps, maybe she
will have dreams about it. (Is this Brain-Washing?)

I think also, maybe that she doesn’t Fear God,
and real Faith begins with real Fear, so I’d buy
some good old Catholic Exorcist movies, to
educate her that it is only Catholic Priests who
possess this power to cast out demons, and that
Protestants if anything just pray for deliverance
and never solve the problem. I have the DVD’s:
the Exorcist, the Rite, and Stigmata.
(Play them while she sleeps,
let her dream about those, yes!)

Also get this book, An Exorcist Tells His Story
just because of what it talks about. Two things people
are interested in, Sex and Mysterious things. Leave it
out for her to find, of course you’d have to be gone for
her to look at it, she has that whole pride thing and will
not want to admit defeat in front of you. But that’s not
your point, that’s her mentality. She has to be right,
that’s what Protestants do, they are Proud Protesters.
Pride, one of the seven deadly sins.
Click to expand...
👍 how old are you? God bless you on your journey in the Catholic Faith. Hope you can clear up all the misconceptions you mom has of our religion
 
:hug1: I’m so sorry you are going through this!

My grandma was also awful to me when I converted at 16. Luckily, I didn’t live with her but sunday visits were hell. She was a lapsed eastern orthodox and absolutely hated church. I was angry and bitter for years, and only recently, 18 years after my conversion and 5 years after her death it occured to me to pray for her soul. :o You can start right now. Offer the pain up to Christ, for her conversion and softening of heart.

God bless.
 
So sorry you are going through this. I exchange letters with an elderly SDA friend who believes that I have been confused and hoodwinked by Satan, but she is always very kind and respectful about it; I wish that your grandmother could act as gently toward you. It might be helpful to know that this is not necessarily the reaction of the entire SDA denomination that you are experiencing, but rather your grandmother’s inability to show understanding and compassion…if you remember that this is one person that you are struggling with, and not the whole world, it may be easier to not feel overwhelmed…😊
 
Califman831 said:
I agree with ur points of relating how Jesus taught us to treat others, but see a problem mentioning prostitutes. The grandmother is already being mean to her, am assuming its a her, and mentioning prostitutes will give the gradma more ammo to fling at the poor kid. I suggest holy artwork in the OP’s house. Praying the rosary out load may also help.

On what issues do SDA differ from Catholics? Does the main body of SDA hold the catholic church in the same regard as the grandma?
Click to expand...
Good point!

The SDA main body is predominantly anti-Catholic. I don’t know about the teachings, but the people of the body mostly are.

Praying the Rosary is one of the best things the OP can do!
 
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