My heart is rejecting the Blessed Mother

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First of all, I am a devout Catholic in step with the teachings of the Church 100%. I read scripture, teach at a Catholic school, go to mass, pray often, etc. I try so hard to follow God’s teachings and I hate to disappoint Him, but especially in this way.
But I really want to have a firm devotion to our Blessed Mother and seek her aid and protection. In my head, I rationalize why we pray to her. I get it. I know that we are not worshipping her, and I pray to her often. However, whenever I read a book describing her virtues and devotion to her, my gut instinct constantly doubts her true humility, assistance and necessity of prayer to her and I see it as a sign of spiritual sickness, like something is blocking my heart from being near to her.
For example, I am now reading “True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin” and often it will say that she truly hid herself so that the world would not worship her, but God has revealed her true beauty. Before I can help it, my mind goes, “oh yeah, right, they only don’t mention her because she didn’t do much worth mentioning.” I stop myself and rationalize in my head why that is not true, but it’s like my heart doesn’t get it. It makes me sick and I feel like I am denying my sweet mother, who truly deserves praise. It’s almost like a Protestant rhetoric, (meaning I am bypassing our Lord and Savior,) has lodged itself in my head and therefore I am unable to give Mary the praise she deserves. 😦 I say the words, but it is so hard to “feel” that devotion, love, and gratitude, but in the end, it’s just so hard and deep down, I think my spirit has grown haughty that I have a good relationship with God now and so I don’t “need her.” I’m ashamed just writing this!
Any tips? Please pray for me that I may cultivate a deep devotion that I truly desire to have in order to grow closer to God. My spirit is willing, but truly my cultural bias refuses to step aside.
Help!
(BTW, I almost became Lutheran about 4 years ago and I truly feel that some of this animosity may have been because I let myself “let” Luther’s thoughts into my head.)
 
Hi Jessica –

I have struggled with some of this as well.

What has helped me is to relate to Mary as my Mother, to talk with her as you would your mom or grandma. When I pray the Rosary, I sometimes imagine myself sitting on the floor next Mary who is sitting in a chair and I have my head in her lap like a child.

I remember Fr. John Corapi talking about Mary and saying that Jesus, as a good Jewish boy, surely honored his mother. We are to imitate Jesus in all things, so we should honor her as well. He went on to say “If she’s good enough for Jesus, she’s good enough for me!”

Also, whenever we honor any fellow Christian,we are also honoring God, their Creator. Scott Hahn said that when you see a painting of one of the great masters and you comment on its beauty and depth and awesomeness, the artist of that painting is not offended, but is also honored. So it is with the Creator and with Mary. When we comment on her wonderful qualities, we are also praising her Creator.

Also, ask Jesus to give you a heart for His Mother! Hope some of this helps.
 
Didi has given you a good answer. It might help to learn a lot more about Mary. You can’t love someone unless you know them. And the more you know the more you can love them. It’s the same with Mary. There are 100’s of great books, movies, talks etc available. You can read the mystics talking about her life too. Mary was a mystic and victim soul too the mystics tell us. She was the most extraordinary woman. The new Eve. She is our Queen and mother. You will grow to love her the more you know. Give it a shot. Keep praying to her too. Mary is omnipotent by virtue of her all powerful prayer. God bless you. 🙂
 
True Devotion is NOT a book for everyone. It is not required reading. To me, it is similar to a love letter, it is beautiful to the person it is intended for.

I’d suggest something more along the lines of Hahn’s “Hail Holy Queen”, Manelli’s “All Generations Shall Call me Blessed”, McKnight’s " The Real Mary" or Sheen’s “The World’s First Love” or even

And, as long as you hold the dogmas on Mary, you are not requiured to have a special devotion to her. One CAN be a good Catholic and never pray a rosary.
 
kage_ar said:
True Devotion is NOT a book for everyone. It is not required reading. To me, it is similar to a love letter, it is beautiful to the person it is intended for.

I’d suggest something more along the lines of Hahn’s “Hail Holy Queen”, Manelli’s “All Generations Shall Call me Blessed”, McKnight’s " The Real Mary" or Sheen’s “The World’s First Love” or even

And, as long as you hold the dogmas on Mary, you are not requiured to have a special devotion to her. One CAN be a good Catholic and never pray a rosary.
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Those are good books but I think you need devotion to Mary to be saved myself. You may fulfill this at Masses on her feastdays etc but you do need her. Once you get to know her you’ll find her very approachable. It won’t be hard. It’s usually a sign someone has lost the faith if they speak against Mary. So it is important to love her and have some devotion.
 
You are missing out on an incredibly great gift from God. God has allowed her to offer us great gifts of comfort, healing and graces. She is the Queen of the Universe, in command of all the angels in Heaven.

Look at all the great signs that she has given us at Lourdes and at Fatima. She points us only to her divine Son, and everything about her is good and holy.

When you think of Mary, think of how she had to endure watching her only son having to suffer and die on the cross. For this great anguish her Son made her Queen of Heaven. Think of the flood of tears and pain that she had to endure. When my own children are in pain, I wish I could take their pain upon myself.

I would much rather endure torture than to watch my kids be tortured. I would much rather die myself than watch any of my kids die. I would accept it in a heartbeat. That is what Mary went through. Can any other women be more worthy or our love, admiration, and attention ?

IF it comes down to giving Mary the honor that is due or to appease some protestants that honoring Mary is no sin, it’s no contest. Let the Protestants protest all they want, I love Mary as much as my own Mother, and maybe more. I do have two mothers, and now they are both in Heaven. Our Lady Queen of the Knights, Pray for us !
 
Mystical City of God themostholyrosary.com/mystical-city.htm
In Defense of The City of God Mystica Civitate Dei: dailycatholic.org/issue/05Jun/jun10tim.htm - to summarize the research of three priests on the official decision of the Holy Roman Catholic Church regarding The Mystical City of God by Venerable Mary of Jesus of Agreda and to ascertain thereby whether it is permitted for anyone of any authority whatsoever to forbid the reading of this extraordinary book.

Mystical City of God is an amazing, powerful, little known resource for contemplating and understanding our Blessed Mother in addition to Christ, the angels, God the Father, the Holy Spirit, and wisdom in general. 🙂 😛 🙂 It might help with greater understanding of her so that one knows why all the titles of commendation are applicable and merited or to do further research from different sources on each individual title itself. 🙂

Take the title Ark of the Covenant
 
Therefore David said, “This is the house of the LORD God, and this is the altar of holocausts for Israel.”
David then ordered that all the aliens who lived in the land of Israel be brought together, and he appointed them stonecutters to hew out stone blocks for building the house of God.
He also laid up large stores of iron to make nails for the doors of the gates and clamps, together with so much bronze that it could not be weighed,
and cedar trees without number. The Sidonians and Tyrians brought great stores of cedar logs to David,
who said: “My son Solomon is young and immature; but the house that is to be built for the Lord must be made so magnificent that it will be renowed and glorious in all countries.
Therefore I will make preparations for it.” Thus before his death David laid up materials in abundance.
Then he called for his son Solomon and commanded him to build a house for the LORD, the God of Israel.
David said to Solomon: “My son, it was my purpose to build a house myself for the honor of the LORD, my God.
But this word of the LORD came to me: 'You have shed much blood, and you have waged great wars. You may not build a house in my honor, because you have shed too much blood upon the earth in my sight.”
However, a son is to be born to you. He will be a peaceful man, and I will give him rest from all his enemies on every side. For Solomon shall be his name, and in his time I will bestow peace and tranquility on Israel.
It is he who shall build a house in my honor; he shall be a son to me, and I will be a father to him, and I will establish the throne of his kingship over Israel forever.’
Now, my son, the LORD be with you, and may you succeed in building the house of the LORD your God, as he has said you shall.
May the LORD give you prudence and discernment when he brings you to rule over Israel, so that you keep the law of the LORD, your God.
Only then shall you succeed, if you are careful to observe the precepts and decrees with the LORD gave Moses for Israel. Be brave and steadfast; do not fear or lose heart.

See, with great effort I have laid up for the house of the LORD a hundred thousand talents of god, a million talents of silver, and bronze and iron in such great quantities that they cannot be weighed. I have also stored up wood and stones, to which you must add.
Moreover, you have available an unlimited supply of workmen, stonecutters, masons, carpenters, and every kind of craftsman
skilled in gold, silver, bronze and iron. Set to work, therefore, and the LORD be with you!"

David also commanded all of Israel’s leaders to help his son Solomon:
"Is not the LORD your God with you? Has he not given you rest on every side? Indeed, he has delivered the occupants of the land into my power, and the land is subdued before the
LORD and his people.
Therefore, devote our hearts and souls to seeking the LORD your God. Proceed to build the sanctuary of the LORD God, that the ark of the covenant of the LORD and God’s sacred vessels may be brought into the house build in honor of the LORD. 1** Chronicles Chapter 22**

The Ark of the Covenant contained the Tablets of Stone containing the Ten Commandments as well as Aaron’s rod and manna. The Ark and its sanctuary were “the beauty of Israel.” When the Ark was borne by priests into the bed of the Jordan, the river was separated. The Ark was borne in a seven-day procession around the wall of Jericho by seven priests sounding seven trumpets of ram’s horns, the city taken with a shout. The Ark was always wrapped in a veil, carefully concealed, even from the eyes of the Levites who carried it.

After hearing that the LORD had blessed Obed-edom because of the presence of the Ark in his house, David had the Ark brought to Zion by the Levites, while he himself, “girded with a linen ephod”, “danced before the Lord with all his might.”

Wherever the Ark was, the place was consecrated. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ark_of_the_Covenant
 
A pox on people who would protest devotion to Mary. No such creature is lowlier in my view. Let them approach Christ’s throne and say one word against His mother or against anyone who has devotion to His mother. I would think their chances to get to Heaven would be much tougher than that rich camel that has to crawl through the needles eye.

BUT to be charitable, I pray they soon see the error of their ways and honor and love her as they should. Even Muslims honor the mother of Jesus, can so called Christians do no less ?
 
Isn’t Mary also a sanctuary for Christ, after she carried him in her womb for 9 months? If Christ could sanctify John the Baptist in the womb by the sound of her voice, if touching him even without his knowing it could cause healing, then how can we ever doubt the holiness of Mary, the Immaculate Conception, who carried Christ in her womb for nine months? :confused: 🤷 :eek:

So the Old Testament Ark of the Covenant contained the Father’s mysterious gifts to the world - the Ten Commandments and Aaron’s rod and manna - and was a great protection and blessing to whoever devoutly carried it. Perhaps the new Ark of the Covenenant also contains the Father’s mysterious gift to the world - Christ - the fulfillment of the Law and Prophets - and is also a great protection and blessing for whoever devoutly carries it. 😉 🙂 👍

When we consecrate ourselves to Jesus through Mary on a Marian feast day and sacrifice and/or celebrate in honor of this consecration, are we perhaps imitating David who did the same when heard of the glorious power and blessings of the Old Testament **Ark of the Covenant ** 🙂 😛

Your heart will be in my prayers!
 
In Kibeho, Rwanda prior to the genocide, the Mother of the Word appeared. She said a “river of blood” would happen if people did not convert, repent,pray the Rosary, the Chaplet of Seven Sorrows, and stop committing various moral sins, such as the girls sleeping with certain men. Did a river of blood happen? This New York Times Article on the Rwandan genocide documents the apparitions of Mary prior to the genocide. query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9400E4D81738F93BA35757C0A96F958260

Then we look at Fatima, Portugal. See some of the messages from Mary to the three little children: *The war [World War I was still raging] is going to end. But if people do not stop offending God, another and worse one will begin in the reign of Pius XI… When you shall see a night illuminated by an unknown light [on January 25-26, 1938 from 9PM to 2AM there appeared over the Northern Hemisphere a very unusual light that scared many people. The New York Times devoted almost an entire page to the event. Scientists attributed it to an exceptional aurora borealis] “know that this is the great sign that God gives you that He is going to punish the world for its many crimes by means of war, hunger and persecution of the Church and the Holy Father” [Within two months of the sign, in March of 1938, Hitler invaded his first country, Austria.] * loveandmercy.org/loveandmercy/fatima.htm

New York Times article: January 26, 1938
Aurura Borealis Startles Europe; People Flee in Fear, Call Firemen; Britons Thought Windsor Castle Ablaze–Scots See Ill Omen-Snow-Clad Swiss Alps Glow–Short-Wave Radio Halts The most brilliant display of an aurora borealis in fifty years held Britons spellbound over a wide area of this country tonight. From 6:30 to 8:30 P.M. the people of London watched two magnificent arcs rising in the east and west, from which radiated pulsating beams like searchlights in dark red, greenish blue and purple. [End of First Paragraph] Buy This Article, Single Article $3.95 select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F00817FB355A157A93C4AB178AD85F4C8385F9

Other articles
Los Angeles Times, Jan 26, 1938 Aurora Borealis Upsets Europeans pqasb.pqarchiver.com/latimes/access/743927742.html?dids=743927742:743927742&FMT=CITE&FMTS=CITE:AI&date=Jan+26%2C+1938&author=&pub=Los+Angeles+Times&desc=Aurora+Borealis+Upsets+Europeans&pqatl=google

Chicago Daily Tribune, Jan 26, 1938Aurora Borealis Glows in Widest Area Since 1709Abstract (Document Summary) Radio and telegraphic communication was disrupted and persons in many parts of the world were awed tonight as the aurora borealis [northern lights] flamed brilliantly farther south than the phenomenon ever has been seen by this generation.
pqasb.pqarchiver.com/chicagotribune/access/441756312.html?dids=441756312:441756312&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS:AI&date=Jan+26%2C+1938&author=&pub=Chicago+Daily+Tribune&desc=AURORA+BOREALIS+GLOWS+IN+WIDEST+AREA+SINCE+1709&pqatl=google
Why was the church punished?
 
aw I know how this feels like because when I was a Protestant I was like this too. Actually I was much worse because I actually felt a hatred for Our Lady 😦 I always said, “I don’t need her”. But after much prayer God really turned me around and now I love Mary and want to know her.

I know this might sound obvious but I really recommend prayer. I mean just getting down on your knees and asking God with all your heart to help you understand more about Mary, and doing this every day for several days. Maybe as a novena.

I really think that when I felt a dislike for Mary, that was from the devil, because he hates her and is even afraid of her. I wrote something about this a while ago and I’ll try to post it here cause I dunno it might help?

Also, I can’t speak for you here, but I know in my case pride WAS an issue. I thought I didn’t need her in my relationship with God. I’ve found though that it’s really humbling to admit that there is someone who’s above us spiritually, and always will be. Mary is exalted above all the Saints. God is first in Heaven, and she is second.

If you’re reading St Louis de Montfort… he’s brilliant… but we really need God’s grace to understand his books. lol! Cause from the surface, it sure does sound like worship sometimes. (although it is not) I don’t understand Marian doctrines very well in my mind, but I understand them in my heart, through experience. One thing that’s important to realize is that Mary truly glorifies God in everything she does. If we give ourselves to her, she would give us to God. She wants more than anything that we would love her Son. She is a really loving Mother to us too 🙂 I never expected to experience her love in any way and I’m so unworthy of it after I’ve denied her for so many years 😦 but one day something happened and I felt her there near me, and I just want to say that she loves us SOO much… it’s really amazing!! She’s so humble and sweet and gentle. But powerful too.

I think for many people it takes time to grow in devotion to Mary. I’m still on this journey for sure. But I noticed that ALL the Saints were greatly devoted to her!!! and they became Saints! So - we can assume that this does not prevent us from growing in holiness, but rather helps us advance in it 🙂

be patient with yourself… 🙂 I’ve met so many people who struggle with the same thing and I struggled too. It’s very common. I really recommend prayer.

God bless you!
 
here is something I wrote about Mary recently at another forum 🙂

"I don’t know if anyone else here thinks of it this way, but yesterday I got this idea that Mary and the devil are complete opposites. Just wanted to share 🙂

they are both CREATURES…creations of God…

yet: the devil is characterized by pride, Mary is characterized by her deep humility…

the devil was the first “sinner”, Mary is the first sinless person since the fall.

death and darkness came into the world because of the devil. LIFE and LIGHT (light Himself! Christ!) came into the world because of Mary, through Mary…

through his disobedience there was born evil, which didn’t exist before, - through her obedience was literarally BORN Love and Goodness and Truth (Christ)

…of course the perfect opposite of the devil is God, yet - we can’t compare them, as if they are equals… God is the Creator, the devil was an angel, a creature. But him and Mary are BOTH creatures.

for all the ages, satan will be cursed… but Mary is ‘blessed among women’ ‘in all generations’!

the devil wanted to exalt himself and fell… Mary truly humbled herself and was exalted to being the Queen of Heaven.

the devil is totally opposed to God’s will, Mary is TOTALLY surrendered to it, like no one else ever was.

NO WONDER the devil fears Mary! (as the Church tells us)
no wonder the Rosary is such a powerful weapon, and no wonder the devil and all the powers of hell work so hard to deceive people with false Mary apparitions, since the real ones can help convert so many souls.
no wonder the devil tries to draw people away from Mary, putting lies and hatred into their hearts… before I was Catholic I felt a very strong dislike for her, and often wondered why. (I didn’t just struggle with doctrines or devotion to Mary, I actually felt a hatred for her )

many outside the Church refuse to accept Mary, why? Because having left the protective power of the Church and the Sacraments, that’s one of the first ways the enemy attacks them… all under the guise of “being Biblical” but we know the devil is good at twisting Scripture (temptation in the desert)

it turns out… Mary is not a “non essential”… she is not just a “doctrine” that we can reject without any consequence.

Immaculate Mary, the Mother of God, is one of the pillars of our faith - together with the Eucharist - as in St John Bosco’s dream. Mary is essential, helpful both for salvation and sanctification, - we can see the all the Saints were so devoted to her. Clearly there is ‘good fruit’

When I give Mary the proper place, - somehow, I feel so …safe. If we give ourselves to Mary, she will give us to Jesus in a perfect way, she will lead us so surely and so close to Him that we can’t help but grow in faith and love and humility. This is why, we call her “our life, our sweetness, and our hope”.

Jesus saves, He is our one hope of salvation and our one Mediator between God and man, and Mary brings us to Him in such a way that the devil can’t interfere with it (although he most certainly tries). All the powers of hell fear Mary. Of course, the devil fears God more…but, - Mary helps us approach Him in ways that are the most right. Sometimes people fall into deception even during worship and prayer, because they’re seeking experiences or relying too much on their feelings or because there is something really wrong in their hearts…but since going through the Mother of God requires HUMILITY, it takes away anything the devil can use for his purposes, and so we come to God in a more perfect way.

All this does not leave out the Holy Spirit, since Mary is called the Spouse of the Holy Spirit. (in somewhat mystical language). Everything she does happens by HIS power. She only ever does God’s will. What creature is a more perfect vessel of grace and of the Holy Spirit, but Our Lady.

Devotion to her increases our trust in God, not decreases it.

Sorry if what I’m saying sounds controversial or preachy or is offensive to anyone who’s reading. But I hear all the time how Mary is a “mere vessel”, a “simple woman” “like us”… and although we CAN relate to her in some ways, and she is human, she is also the Mother of God, the Queen of Heaven, our Mother, - she is the first in Heaven after Christ.

I hope I didn’t say anything against Church teaching, if I did, please correct me!

God bless"
 
JessHav said:
First of all, I am a devout Catholic in step with the teachings of the Church 100%. I read scripture, teach at a Catholic school, go to mass, pray often, etc. I try so hard to follow God’s teachings and I hate to disappoint Him, but especially in this way.
But I really want to have a firm devotion to our Blessed Mother and seek her aid and protection. In my head, I rationalize why we pray to her. I get it. I know that we are not worshipping her, and I pray to her often. However, whenever I read a book describing her virtues and devotion to her, my gut instinct constantly doubts her true humility, assistance and necessity of prayer to her and I see it as a sign of spiritual sickness, like something is blocking my heart from being near to her.
For example, I am now reading “True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin” and often it will say that she truly hid herself so that the world would not worship her, but God has revealed her true beauty. Before I can help it, my mind goes, “oh yeah, right, they only don’t mention her because she didn’t do much worth mentioning.” I stop myself and rationalize in my head why that is not true, but it’s like my heart doesn’t get it. It makes me sick and I feel like I am denying my sweet mother, who truly deserves praise. It’s almost like a Protestant rhetoric, (meaning I am bypassing our Lord and Savior,) has lodged itself in my head and therefore I am unable to give Mary the praise she deserves. 😦 I say the words, but it is so hard to “feel” that devotion, love, and gratitude, but in the end, it’s just so hard and deep down, I think my spirit has grown haughty that I have a good relationship with God now and so I don’t “need her.” I’m ashamed just writing this!
Any tips? Please pray for me that I may cultivate a deep devotion that I truly desire to have in order to grow closer to God. My spirit is willing, but truly my cultural bias refuses to step aside.
Help!
(BTW, I almost became Lutheran about 4 years ago and I truly feel that some of this animosity may have been because I let myself “let” Luther’s thoughts into my head.)
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To Jesus through Mary. This is God’s Will, and Satan hates it because he hates humble souls, because God exalts them on high, and he (the devil) was once exalted but fell because of his pride. (“The humble are exalted and the exalted are humbled”). Satan hates the goodness of God and dose everything he can to make people forget it. But the door of the human heart is the human will, just as the door of Jesus’ Heart is His Will: enter into Jesus’ Heart - make His Will your will - and ignore the attacks of the devil. If you will Satan to enter into your heart, he will.
 
I’m a convert to The Church, and I struggled with Marian Beliefs myself.

Since you are a mother, I would try this;

Pray The Rosary, at least a decade each day, and while you are contemplating the Gospel, try to contemplate the appropriate Mystery, as Mary would have. Meditate on the Mystery from Mother’s perspective, as if you were in Her place, and feeling the joys and sorrows of the Gospel as She felt them watching Her Son, from Birth to Death to Resurrection and Ascension!

I didn’t read the whole thread, so someone else may have suggested this, but I hope it helps all the same.

In Christ,

a_sinner
 
I just read your post again, and I want to say: please don’t feel horrible! hugs I’m sure that God sees and values your desire to know our Blessed Mother… and I’m sure she sees that too! 🙂
if you aren’t FEELING it, well we can’t always control our feelings. As long as you have the desire, in your will, that is enough for God to work with. He will give the feelings in time. 🙂 Just pray and tell God you want to know Mary better.

I know that she prayed for me all my life, before I was a Christian and when I was a Protestant. Even when I said that I don’t need her. I also know she helped lead me to the Church.
So I think that even if you’re struggling, both God and Mary understand and love you very much. Our feelings and perceptions are affected by soo many things. As you said, you were somewhat influenced by Luther. God knows this… and He also sees your heart, and that you want to grow in devotion to Mary. So I’m sure in time this will be answered 🙂 just don’t get discouraged.

God bless!
 
kage_ar said:
True Devotion is NOT a book for everyone. It is not required reading. To me, it is similar to a love letter, it is beautiful to the person it is intended for.
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I’d have to agree with this… I haven’t read True Devotion but I have read the Secret of Mary which is really similar. It’s really mystical in a way. They’re great books, but the first time I read it I thought it was all wrong. lol. I couldn’t understand this approach at all. It’s something that God has to lead you too. It’s not like many other books.

But if you feel that it is helping you, that is good and if so keep on reading 🙂 if not, I suggest just giving it a break and reading another book about Mary, and then returning to True Devotion later on. Give it some time. God has a way of preparing us 🙂

Hail Holy Queen by Scott Hahn is very good, I’ve heard 🙂

God bless
 
When you think of Mary, think of how she had to endure watching her only son having to suffer and die on the cross. For this great anguish her Son made her Queen of Heaven. Think of the flood of tears and pain that she had to endure. When my own children are in pain, I wish I could take their pain upon myself.
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This is a really good idea, to try and think of things from Mary’s perspective… 🙂 especially while praying the Rosary. (the Sorrowful Mysteries!!)

have you seen the movie ‘the Passion of the Christ’… I think Mary is portrayed very well there.
 
If you are going straight to God more and more, then the Blessed Mother has been at work in your life. 👍 After all, she leads us to her Son. So, maybe if you spend time thanking Mary for helping you through her prayers and intercessions to feel so comfortable going straight to God in prayer that would help you realize how much you still need and want her in your life.

My personal experience with Mary is that I have a mother in her. My own mother has been seriously ill for some time. I know that whenever her time comes, I will always still have a mother in Mary. We all need a mother. If you look to Mary as your own mother and talk with her and to her as such, you’ll find yourself deepening in relation with her in no time. :hug1:
 
JessHav:
I often feel the same way. I try to pray the Rosary, and do fairly regularly, but sometimes I find it so hard…I want to love Our Blessed Mother, I want to talk with her and spend time with her…but I often feel the same block you do.
I think Monica4316 gave both of us some great advice. I think it was St. John of God (someone correct me if I’m wrong) who said that we can not demand consolation from God…those “happy” feelings that we expect faith to bring us. Feelings are not all-important, and sometimes they just won’t be there. The important thing is to never give up and to constantly seek the heart of Mary, and thus the heart of God. If you PM me I have a great little ebook on Mary’s special relationship with the Holy Spirit. For some time now I have been praying to the Holy Spirit that He would help me love and know his Spouse, Mary, better.
God bless,

Tyler
 
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