My Home Is Too Loud!

Status
Not open for further replies.
B

blackforest

Well-known member
I’m at my wit’s end! What steps have you successfully taken to minimize the noise levels in your family?

I’ve found one thing that works: I no longer indulge yelling from floor to floor or room to room. When somebody yells, “MOM!!!,” I respond in a normal volume until they come find me.

But with each other, my kids are under the impression that somehow (vocal) might makes right. (“I did not!” “Did too!” “DID NOT!” “DID TOO!” “DID NOT!!!” )

I’d really love an alternative to that classic parental irony of yelling at them to not yell. :roll_eyes:

Do you have any tricks up your sleeve to handle high noise levels?
 
My mom just calls my phone when we are on different floors of the house. It’s become something of a joke. We’d text, but I always forget my phone is on vibrate.
 
Last edited:
LOLZ! One night I emailed my daughter while she was doing homework, and she never stopped giving me flack about it. I mean, her room is “far off” in the daylight basement! Why shout? 🙃
 
If they don’t listen to my dad to be quiet he shouts and when he shouts he shouts LOUD
 
Right now, the only one suffering from the noise level is you. Until they have to suffer from it, they will continue to shout. If they have an allowance, you can fine them a small amount; or you can have them do push-ups, have a time-out, or whatever you do for that purpose.

Make it small so that you will apply it liberally until they learn 🙂
 
Last edited:
I would remind my own by saying: “Use your indoor voice please”
 
I think you need to call all of your children together, sit them down and tell them how unhappy the yelling in your home is making you. Then tell them that in the future, unless the house is on fire or someone is hurt, not to call for you by yelling, but to come seek you out and talk to you. I used to say that I would not not have a conversation by yelling back and forth and if they wanted to speak to me they needed to come downstairs.

It’s more difficult to stop the yelling when they are “adults.”
🤫
 
Last edited:
Can you do some things to create an atmosphere of calm and peace? Soft music, no blaring TV or video games for starters? (Maybe you already do this). Can your kids spend some time outdoors burning off their energy? Is your home generally organized so people aren’t running around at the last minute for things hollering for clean socks, where’s my other sandal, etc?
I also thought this was a very telling article I read. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of NYT but I thought this was a good piece:

 
Last edited:
I used to inwardly chuckle how yelling suddenly stopped midair when my neighbour could be heard whistling as he entered the yard and my kids would look a little sheepish 🙂
When they were younger I found out that a newly given key finder started beeping at a certain pitch , going off on its own startling us all.While it lasted the noise level was much more comfortable 🤔
 
I never did this, but one of my kids preschool teacher had a stop light that worked by decibel level.

The light’s default was green, a bit loud made the light yellow and too loud was red.

It was interesting enough to keep the kids on “green”
 
Your post made me smile because I have the exact same problem!

My solution: I kick them out of the house…sorry, not sorry.
 
I’m a firm believer in the Red Green method…always have a roll of duct tape handy…
 
Thanks for the article. I read a book called Scream-Free Parenting that really helps in this regard. Right now, I need to get them to stop yelling at each other and at me.
Annie said:
Right now, the only one suffering from the noise level is you.
Click to expand...
This is absolutely true. I’m told it’s an INTJ thing, although I’m not sure I buy into the whole Meyers-Briggs thing, (typical skepticism for INTJs 😉 )
Irishmom2 said:
It’s more difficult to stop the yelling when they are “adults.”
Click to expand...
Absolutely. The cycle must be broken.
Welshrabbit said:
My solution: I kick them out of the house…sorry, not sorry.
Click to expand...
My mom did this to us. I grew up on wooded acreage, so it ultimately never ended up feeling like a punishment. I may revert to this. It’s not too punitive, the initial boredom is good for them, and yelling often means there’s some energy to burn off.
 
Oh gosh. This reminds me of all the caning my parents gave when we speak loudly.

Do not recommend. How old are they? When I work with kids (10-11), I would tell them if they shout again after my warning, I would immediately turn off their computer/take away the toys for 15 minutes. Don’t know it works in the household though.
 
Screen time used to be my ultimate bargaining chip. I’ve imposed a draconian ban on it, though, due to reasons fit for another parenting thread. :crazy_face: Let’s just say that I don’t like how gaming turns the kids into “screen beasts.”

To answer your question, the two greatest offenders are 8 and 10.
 
Suggest you all play sleeping lions - the teacher’s method below is the one you want to use 😉


In all seriousness, I agree with @Irishmom2, tell them it’s making you unhappy (and who shouts the loudest doesn’t win an argument!). Could you offer them a little reward the longer they go without shouting? So instead of losing something if they shout, they gain something if they’re quiet? That might encourage them.
 
blackforest said:
Let’s just say that I don’t like how gaming turns the kids into “screen beasts.”
Click to expand...
UGH yes. My friend’s parent has figured out a way to turn off her kids’ WiFi access on their devices from her phone. The moment they yell or do something ridiculous, she calmly switches it off. Only problem is that they start screaming and begging for it 2 minutes later
 
Dennis Prager has a story about a man who went to see his rabbi about the very same complaint. The rabbi told the man to bring all his animals into the house. After 2 weeks the man complained to the rabbi that things were even worse than before. So the rabbi said get rid of all the animals from the house. After 2 weeks the man couldn’t thank the rabbi enough for bringing peace back into his life.
 
Last edited:
My wife and I are both retired.

My wonderful wife is VERY hearing impaired. She wears two hearing aids. She works tirelessly, and copes with my rather severe physical orthopedic disabilities. I am no longer much physical help to her around the house. I am thankful for her help and feel sorry for her having to work so much in the home. We do hire help to maintain the lawn.

Her main escape and little pleasure is television, which she plays at high volume, with subtitles, wearing two hearing aids. I bought wireless headphones for her, but she does not wear them. She does not particularly care for reading. Thankfully, she has rediscovered sewing.

The high noise level in the living room is intolerable for me…jangles my nerves. My escape is to go to my “man cave” in another room, where it is silent, or where I can listen to soft music, or read.

We coexist rather contentedly this way, but the high noise level is a detriment to marital closeness.

We love each other, and marriage and life go on. Not a complaint, but in my opinion, my home is too loud, also!
 
So are you proposing I hire a Dixieland Jazz band to rehearse here for a couple of weeks so that we appreciate quieter times? Kidding. 🙃 Yes, there’s some wisdom to your story.
GodIsPerfection said:
We love each other, and marriage and life go on. Not a complaint, but in my opinion, my home is too loud, also!
Click to expand...
Yes, I suppose it depends on the source of the noise. I confess to hiding in our big back yard, wielding either a book or a garden hoe, and hoping I’m not discovered with cries of, “Mooooooooooooooooom! Big brother is teasing me!!!”
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top