I sincerely wish you and your family the best. You are handling a difficult situation with grace, love, and understanding. I know how you feel, and also how your in-laws may make your husband and kids feel, if they don’t go. I’m not offering any advice of my own, because you just seem to have it so together. I just hope you have some people-friends or relatives-that you can spend part of the day with. Whatever happens, you know you are loved!
I did like the ideas of some others, for using epiphany or some other day for gift exchange, hymn singing, celebrating in general. And, I hope you feel better, soon, as you have learned to live with pain. You deserve a treat. Please, take care of yourself, and have a blessed Christmas season.
And, truly…for you, and your family…
God Bless!